(n.)

Breaking out afresh or into renewed activity.

Origin: Latin word meaning 'become raw again'.

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She ran as fast as she coul away from his sight, from almost everyone's sight.

It's too much.

I don't want this.

I don't want to live here anymore.

Tears gushing down her now rosy cheeks, she avoided everyone jn her way. She ran for her life to the one safe place she knew, her bedroom. She could not risk herself being questioned by anyone right now. She was afraid that she would hurt someone even more in the feeling of anger or pain.

She barged into her room and slammed the door shut.

Y/n slid down to her knees, hugging them close to her chest. Her body was trembling terribly and every tear would emit a choked sob from her throat. She tried to rub her tears away, but to no avail.

Calming herself seemed to be even more impossible of a job than it already was. She just could not sobbing uncontrollably in the walls of her room.

After what seemed like a day, but in reality was just a few hours, she managed to compose herself with the occassional hiccups here and there. She had troubles breathing. Yet, it was not something that she had not gone through before.

She had just managed to stop her tears when light knocking on her bedrooom door was heard.

"Y/n, it's me. Open up Y/n." Doyoung's soft voice pleaded from outside her room.

She opened the door slightly, peeking out to make sure it was only him outside the door and no one else.

Once she was sure, she pulled him by his arm into the room before locking the door.

If he noticed, he did not say anything and Y/n was glad that he had not said anything about it.

"Y/n, what happened?" His concern made her scoff in disbelief that Jisung had not told them yet.

Jisung's mouth had a tendency of revealing harsh truths to make reality a horrible place to live in.

That one question of Doyoung's brought back the tears in her eyes. She was tired of staying so strong after all these months and she was tired of acting like it was fine when it really was not.

So, as she began telling the story from the top, she could not even remember when she slid down to the floor and rested her head against the wall. He body was supported by the wall. 

It hurt Doyoung to see Y/n suffering like this. It pained him to see the tears roll down her cheeks and just sit there and helplessly watch her suffer. He tried comforting her but it could only work so well for so little.

"I'm going to kill that little piece-" His fury was interrupted by Y/n's pleading.

"No, please don't do anything to him. It's my fault too. If I never told him that it meant nothing to me, he would have never said anything either. Besides, I led him on too. " She mumbled, surprisingly coherent sentences, in between her sobs as she gripped onto his arms.

"Just let me lay my head on your shoulder, please." She begged. He gave into her request as he felt the weight of her head against his shoulder.

Before she fell asleep, she mumbled the few words that Doyoung had wished he had never heard.

"I don't want to stay here anymore."

~~~~~~~~~~

The next morning, word had spread around like wildfire in the house. It was not too surprising since there were only eighteen of them in the house anyways. When she woke up, all dressed for her assignment, she walked out of her room, feeling ever so emotionless.

She walked by Jisung's room to find the door ajar. 

Don't look there.

Don't look there.

Don't.

What the hell happened in here?

That was all she could think about when she saw the disastrous chaos in his room. Everything was just lying around all over his room. Nothing seemed to be in place. She should not have cared yet she did. 

That was what hurt her the most. 

That despite all the things someone would say to her, she would still care so much about them. She had never been like this before but now she cared so much about him. 

She did not know how. She did not know when. All she knew was that she started feeling things.

And, boy was she petrified of these feelings.  

Resisting the temptation to check on him, she walked away from there as quick as she could to avoid him. She rushed into the kitchen to grab her breakfast and make her way to the dining room.

She briefly greeted the members in the room, still lacking of emotion for what happened a few months ago. 

She took her regular place at the end of the table. She remembered the glances thrown in her way as she grabbed her breakfast from the kitchen. She did not want their pity. She did not want them to tell her they were sorry for her when it was never their fault in the first place.

Every bite that she took, images of their glances flashed in her face. With each passing second, she grew more and more pissed with this whole situation.

Until she finally had enough.

This was it. She was finally going to complete what she had started a few months ago. This time there was no turning back for her.

~~~~~~~~~~

"Are you sure you want to do this?" Doyoung asked her hesitantly. She nodded her head immediately.

"I'm sure about this Doyoung. I feel like it's important for me to do this. I need this time to really heal. Everything that has been going on recently, it's too much for me. All this is too new. Call this running away from my problems but, hey, at least it's my coping mechanism. Besides, it's not like I'm leaving the gang. I'm still going to be here and you will see me around, just not that frequently anymore."

"You know he never meant it, right?" He reassured her, desperately making futile attempts to get her to change her mind.

"This isn't about him anymore. What he said did hurt me but, I provoked him to say that too. Right now I just need to get away from all this. I need something from before to stay with me like how it was in my former one. And, I think this might really help me." She shook her head at his statement. 

Sure, she felt that constant ache in her heart whenever she recalled his words but, even she knew better than simply placing all the blame on him. He was insensitive but, she still liked him anyways.

"I...Be happy okay." Doyoung mumbled, pulling her into a bone-crushing hug, afraid that she was going to disappear if she let go. She stayed in his embrace for a little while before pulling away. Doyoung placed a soft peck on her forehead before letting her go.

She turned away from him and knocked on the wooden door in front of her.

"Come in." That awfully familiar voice rang through her ears as she took a deep breathe in and turned around. Doyoung stood there smiling at her, giving her all the encouragement that she needed. 

She opened the door, closing it behind her.

"Taeyong, can we talk about that offer?"

Have you ever felt like all the walls were caving in on you at one point and you wanted nothing more than to escape from there? Have you ever felt suffocated in the place that you once called home and you knew that it was time to start afresh because things were becoming too toxic for you? Yet, you just could not find it in you to run away because you still cared too much for your own good.

~END~

A/N

Hey guys! It has been awhile since I last updated. I am sorry for that. I guess lately with all the work that has been piling on me, I felt so unmotivated to do anything since I had no inspiration. We just started out term holidays and I am going to try to update more often before school starts again. I have had so many projects due in the first term of school and so many due in the week when we return to school. All this work only allowed me to sleep at like 3.00am or 4.00 am most days, because I had competitions too and I used to come back at like 9pm or 10pm in the night. 

So, I am going to make up for this during this week of holidays but, hey I hope all of you guys are fine. I apologise for the short chapter cuz I wanted to leave the suspense in the air. If anyone of you guys ever just want to talk or be friends, just message me. I would be more than willing to become friends with each and everyone of you.

Some questions to ask:

1) What do you think about Y/n's breakdown at the beginning of the chapter?

2) What offer do you think Taeyong made to her?

Make sure to click that tiny star to leave a vote and feel free to leave any comments.

-PEACE-