Epilogue 3.22

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---Jewel---


     I was so certain I was going to die during the kraken attack that when I wash up on the shore of the volcanic island I don't know what to do with myself. The will to persevere, to subject myself any further to the ceaseless torment of my existence, has abandoned me. I cling to life by a sliver of a stubborn thread that just won't seem to snap no matter how hard I tug.

     I lie afloat, soaking in the shallow waters and occasionally feeling my back flatten against the jagged bed of rock that symbolizes the haphazard cruelty of this world and so many others like it. Cold and soaked to the bone, I shiver—my body protests all of the evil and wickedness, but its movements go unnoticed by the vast emptiness of this apathetic universe.

     Water splashes nearby my head as somebody wades through the shallows. All I want is to be left alone, to wallow in my own soul as it bleeds out of me. Why can't they see that all of this is futile? The Master of Light abandoned us all long before we even came to inhabit this wretched flesh. Our suffering is nothing but a cruel joke to him, nothing more than disposable entertainment. He will lead us to the doorstep of paradise only to strike us down at the gates.

     I force myself to sit up when the older boy speaks to me. I cannot bring myself to look him in the eyes—his potent aura smothers me, and I suck in the sweet scent of corruption.

     "Hey," he says, offering his hand to me. "Need a little help?"

     A burning graces my cheeks when he takes my hand in his and helps me to my feet. The moonlight shines on his endearingly boyish features, and the ocean breeze ruffles his dark hair.

     "I'm Colby," he says. "You're Jewel, right?"

     I nod mechanically. The rest of the group is gradually coming to, all of us having been carried here by the tide. From where we are, the others can't hear us, at least I don't think. And even if they could, half of them are unconscious anyway.

     "Look," he says, wringing the water out of his jacket, "I've always been good at reading people. You and the Asian boy... you were close, weren't you?"

     Jun—my heart aches at the remembrance of his. "In a way," I mutter, staring out to sea. How peaceful it would've been to drown, to vanish into that silent world beneath the waves.

     "I'm sorry for your loss."

     "You can't be," I tell him, crossing my arms. "By now, everyone's all out of sorrys." My lips tremble. Suddenly, something comes over me, and I start pouring it all out. "He was like family, you know? Not blood or anything like that, but you become family when you've been through a lot. That's just how it is now, I guess. But it's like somebody out there, whoever's pulling all the strings, isn't satisfied unless we're suffering. We scoop up the tiny fragments and try and piece them together, and then somebody goes and shatters them all over again."

     "I know what you mean," he says in a way that lets me know he's just humouring me.

     "You think I'm hysterical."

     He shakes his head. "Not at all." He brushes my cheek, and I can feel a warmth radiate off his skin and seep in through my pores. "I think you're complex. But you don't want to be."

     I raise an eyebrow. "What makes you say that?"

     He sighs, placing a toothpick in his mouth. "Nobody wants to be complex. A gift is just a curse in fancy clothes." His arm brushes against mine, and I warm from the contact. "So what's your deal? You've got an aura, but I just can't seem to pin it down."

     I struggle to hold back a grin. "Guess."

     "All right." He makes a squinty face, as if he's lost deep in thought. "Nephilim."

     "Nope."

     "Vampire."

     "Double-nope."

     "A half-unicorn half-mermaid from hell on a never-ending quest for redemption."

     I snort. "Now you're just making stuff up."

     "They're real, I swear." He winks. "I'm all out of guesses."

     My cross feels heavy around my neck. I go to grab it, and it scalds my skin. "I'm the reincarnation of an ancient witch hell-bent on bringing an end to existence itself."

     "You know, I was just about to guess that."

     "Shut up," I say, punching him playfully in the arm. The sudden movment snaps me back to reality. This isn't me—not anymore. I'm not this frivolous. "Look, uh, what did you say your name was again?"

     "Colby," he says.

     "Colby," I repeat. "I'd really rather not... it's just... I can't."

     He nods. "I get it. You've been through a lot. I wasn't here to... Okay, I don't know how to say this, so I'm just going to say it. Em is a great guy. I've known him since preschool. He's practically a brother to me. But he doesn't think with his head. He cares, you know? And people who care... there's no room for them in the new world."

     I cast a sidelong glance in his direction. "What are you trying to say?"

     "I'm saying Strix doesn't give a damn about us. She's willing to let us pass right through to Ganeden. It's Eloise she's got a problem with. But Em has made it very clear that no one's going to touch a hair on her pretty little demonic head. Even if it winds up getting the rest of us killed."

     A funny feeling bubbles up in my chest and I break into laughter.

     He makes a weird face. "Something I said?"

     I bottle the laughter, wiping the tears out of my eyes. "You want me to back you up when you turn against him, right? Because I'm the all-powerful witch who can turn people to ashes with a single glance."

     He shrugs. "Something like that."

     "Let me make something clear," I say, grabbing him by the throat. I squeeze, watching the life drain out of him. His pain is an elixir, and I thirst for it. The cross burns through my shirt and sears my flesh. Finally, I let him go, and he drops to his knees, gasping for air. I crouch down and look him in the eyes. "I serve no one. I couldn't care less about you mortals. Don't you ever try to drag me into your petty squabbles."

     He should fear me. He should run for his life. But instead, he just smirks. "Good talk," he says before dusting himself off and leaving me to reflect upon my actions.

     I totally lost it. I allowed She of the Many Shadows to take over. The last time that happened, Jun was able to stop her, to bring me back. But if it happens again, I'll be lost.

     I squeeze on my cross and stare up into the sky. The empty heaven above. If there is a Master of Light, he's probably laughing. He enjoys this. I tug on the chain until it snaps. Taking a deep breath, I throw the cross as hard as I can. I watch it plop into the water and vanish beneath the black surface of the sea.

     I won't be needing it anymore.


Author's Note:

Jewel has given in to despair, allowing She of the Many Shadows to take control. This doesn't bode well for anybody, does it? With the portal to paradise just around the corner, tensions have never been higher amongst the group. But, as you've probably already guessed, things are only going to get worse from here on out.

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