"Every quote, every book, every film seemed to suggest that 'one day' someone would come into my life and love me with an intensity and a passion I had never experienced before.

And to their credit they were right; It all came and went so fast it really did feel as if it were just 'one day'...."

― Ranata Suzuki

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Three years and ten months to Chandini's disappearance

Once he finished his prayers at the ghats, as Advay dragged himself back from the temple, he first knelt to kiss the pretty footprints of his wife's at the bottom of the stairs, before caressing it for a while.

He finally dragged himself upstairs to her bedroom to lay her clothes, which was his everyday ritual.

Yet, as the stood before the mirror, he didn't recognise himself anymore. With dark circles under his eyes, his hair beginning to grey around the corner of his ears, and his gaze forever lost to the barren void before him, although a little under thirty-nine, he had aged beyond years. And he felt a hundred times worse than he looked.

Soon it would be four years since that godawful morning, yet, he was still alive, still eating, still breathing, still living.

Taking in a deep breath, he glanced at the life size frame of Chandini's that stood behind him. Forever smiling at him like his bride that she was, she was frozen in time.

Slowly, walking up to her, he stroked her cheek, and kissed her forehead first, before leaning in to kiss her mouth for a couple of times.

"Where are you, meri jaan?" Pressing his forehead to hers, he chuckled. "Looks like I'm getting older by the day."

Over the years the search had continued. Chandini's DNA had never matched anyone over the years. Neither was her collar ever found.

There was no good news. But perhaps the good news was that there was no bad news either. And that was the only consolation for now. He wasn't going to lose hope until he had a solid confirmation. And the day he did, that day would be the day he would finally step into a pyre he'd light for himself, he'd long vowed.

But until then, he'd let himself breathe.

After spending a few more minutes caressing her face and admiring her to his heart's content, he rang her phone number and sighed when her sweet singing voice chirped through her voicemail.

"Its a special day today." He smiled again, as he slowly opened her wardrobe and removed a box from within, to reveal a beautiful navy silk saree.

He carefully arranged the saree on her bed and laid the jewellery that went it, along with his mother's sita rani and Chandini's kangans.

His gaze then fell on her side-table and he removed her butterfly journal from inside the drawers, and kissed the two dried roses that fell from them.

He had given them to her the morning after the Karwa chauth.

And the thought of Karwa Chauth brought back the memory of every Karwa Chauth he had spent alone out on the terrace, fasting, sobbing, pleading to the heavens to give back his wife to him.

Sometimes worried at what he might to do himself, Yash or Kajal had spent the day with him. The previous year, he had been in London thankfully, surrounded by all his loved ones, and it hadn't felt so lonely.

Yet, while there was spring everywhere, his heart was covered in ten feet high snow.

With that frigid cold seeping into his soul, he opened another one of the pages of her book and read one more of her poems to him.

"You're everything to me." She had written. "But at best, I'll just be a memory to you."

As his eyes pricked, he reached for her white and red saree and touched it to his cheek, imagining all the times when she had draped herself with it.

"I'll just be a memory to you." Her words scourged through him again. That was all she had turned into— a burning memory, that burned him every minute of his life.

Finally standing before the mirror, he thought of that night, when he had been standing behind her. It had been just before the roka, when for the first time he had brazenly touched her, till she had climaxed in his arms.

He could still feel her squirm in his arms, could still feel the silk of her voice as she'd moaned in his arms, and could still smell the heat of her body on his fingers.

"I'll just be a memory to you." Memories were all there was now. His life itself had turned into only long painful string of memories, those of his parents', and now of his wife too, and of his own happy days when he had all those he loved in his life.

Finally, blowing her a kiss, he staggered out of her room, and dragging himself to the kitchen, he made two cups of tea, one for her and one for himself.

He had given up his bitter coffee now. Tea was all he drank all the time.

Yash was busy with a ritual this morning, and with his two cups he slumped before her portrait in the living room, as opened the newspaper. First he sipped on his tea and solved all his puzzles. He then sipped on her tea and solved the sudoku that she loved, while stroking Gilu's two month old pups that were licking his toes.

This was the third time she'd had pups. Sid had already asked for two, and Praveen would be taking one of them for his nephew.

But until they were ten weeks old, he planned on keeping them with their mother. And until then, these three were the only source of his smile.

Leaning, he picked all three and put them on his lap, and stoked them fondly. They took after their mother, and he couldn't help smile at how Chandini would have squealed and cuddled them had she been around.

Three years ten months, the thought came back to leave that lingering empty feeling in his belly again.

A lot had happened in three years and ten months.

Two hospitals and four schools were now opened under the JankiRam trust, along with four more slum projects that had been sanctioned by the new collector.

Shilpa was pregnant, finally. A few more weeks and he would become an uncle to Murli's child.

He chuckled at how Shilpa had wept in joy and in horror too, the day she had realised she was pregnant.

Veer was a full-time videographer, and freelanced with Nat geo. He also made short films on a variety if genres and posted it to his channel. Along with making videos of the temple, and ensuring that people could get a live darshan of the temple activities during the important days. The Ganga aarti videos were the most viewed videos, along with the Ram Leela's they did every years.

Smiling at that thought, as he turned a page in the newspaper, there was a full length feature of the next slum project under the JankiRam trust. His parent's name was flying wide and high, and he had his brother to thank for that. His dark horse.

As if his Shikha, she was now a full-blown politician, running for the post of the MLA this year. She was also a management topper, and had joined Advay's company, and he was thankful to her for that, given how much it freed him to indulge himself in the dreams of his wife.

Sid was now a IG— Inspector General, and posted to Jaipur. Shekhar too was a little less than four, and a spitting image of his mother, and they were all here today. He could heard the little boys banters downstairs and chuckled at how much he talked non-stop all the time now.

The question of his paternity had never been raised by anyone ever. It had never mattered to Sid, and once Meghu had held her baby in her arms, the thought had long evaporated.

Jhanvi and Inder had met up, and had married a couple of years ago. They now had a baby boy, Karthik. And when he had met them recently, he had sighed at how different she had seemed.

She was living with Inder in LA now, and worked in a bank in a senior management role. She'd seemed happier as she'd cooked dinner for them. She had also seemed a lot more relaxed and totally in love with Inder. She had long forgotten her fixation with him, to the point she had tried to fix him with one of her friends. 

And he was happy she had found her happiness and had finally moved on with one of his best friends, whom he had once chosen for Chandini.

But most importantly, a few months ago, Veer had proposed to Shikha. Finally.

And the memory of that day still brought a tear to his eyes, when his brother had sheepishly whispered to him that he wanted to marry Shikha, and planned on proposing to her in front of the entire family.

And when Veer had finally got down on one knee, as Shikha had wept with a nod, he too had wept, relieved that his darling Shikha was not going anywhere. That she would forever remain with him, as his sister, and now as his sister-in-law too.

While he had egged them to marry without delay, they had finally agreed upon a date.

And he couldn't believe that auspicious day was today. But given how quiet the haveli was, it didn't feel like there was a wedding at home.

Everything felt mellowed, lifeless, mundane, like it was everyday.

Yet, he couldn't help chuckle at Chandini's portrait, wondering how she would have reacted had she been around. "Shikha will be your devrani soon." He laughed. "They're marrying later today. Can you believe it? Our Shikha, a bride, a bahu to my mother."

Yet as he said those words, he felt that lump in his throat and couldn't help his tears that had become such an integral part of who he was.

Soon she would get pregnant too, he smiled at that thought. Their Kashyap family would finally have an heir.

Everyone's life was moving on, except his. He had stagnated to where he was. But without his wife, life had no lure. And thankfully after the Jhanvi episode, neither Shikha nor Kajal or Karan's family had pushed him to re-marry. It hadn't been easy. He had had to battle, fight back, and eventually when he had moved to Scotland for an indefinite period, everyone had backed off, and he had finally agreed to come back to his home where he could live with the memories of his wife all over again.

"Chandini," he choked at her picture. "Baba had promised you'd come for me once I fulfilled my purpose. I have fulfilled everything....there is nothing left for me here, meri jaan....please come back or take me away......but I'm truly exhausted now. I cannot go on anymore like this without you."

"Jijaji." His firebrand sister's voice made him quickly wipe his face, lest she threw another tantrum if she found him crying again.

"Jiju, where are you?"

"Here." He waved at her and smiled ruefully.

"Why are you sitting alone here when we are all downstairs?" Lately his family were never leaving him alone, he had come to realise. In fact, he was surprised it had taken her so long to intrude upon his peace.

"I want you to come shopping with me."

"Shopping? Now? At this hour....Shikha....you're the bride." Yet, he couldn't help notice that all she had for a mehendi was a large dot in the middle of her palm instead of an elaborate design. She wasn't even having a haldi.

"We need to change the blouse we got for Shilpa, it doesn't fit anymore."

"Shikha." He took her hand into his and choked, "Are you both sure about this wedding....Murli and I, we can still organise a wedding here at the temple."

"No.....No...please. I'm not up for it....its a total time waste. Besides I want it to be a quiet family affair."

Yet, he knew Chandini was the reason she hadn't wanted a proper wedding.

"Shikha, you only marry once."

"Jijaji. I'm happy with this decision. And so is Shah. This is what we want."

He closed his eyes, but smiled. "Will you at least allow me to present you with some of my mother's jewellery? They are rightfully yours now..."

"Mine and Jiji's." Unable to hold on to herself, she finally buried her head into his chest and broke into a loud sob.

"Shikha," Advay wept too.

"I never imagined my wedding like this....without my Jiji in it. This feels so wrong. I don't want to marry....I'll wait."

"No....no..please don't." He held her tight. "I need to fulfil the purpose of my life....maybe once I see the heir of our family, it will my turn to bid goodbye. It will my turn to join your sister up there on that wall."

"See...this is why." She pushed him. "You don't seem to think of anything else but leaving us."

"Shikha.....I'm exhausted."

"You really want to gift me something for my wedding." Wiping her face, she sat up and sniffled. "Then please smile. At least, today, smile for me. For your Micku."

And that was what he did, four hours later, as he stood behind Veer and Shikha in the registry office, he couldn't help smile in genuine happiness as they both signed the register.

With Shikha in a simple green saree with just a delicate chain around her neck and a pair of bangles, and Veer in a pair of trousers and a white shirt, the wedding was hardly a grand event.

Except immediate family on both sides, their closest friends, Kausar, Ahmed and their families, Praveen, Pramila, Mishraji and Pandit Sharma and his family, no one else had been invited.

He glanced up to the heavens, thinking of his parents, mainly his mother, and of how she had always wished for a grand wedding for her sons.

While at least, his wedding had been reasonably grand, his brother was now marrying in a registry office, with just a couple of garlands, a ring and a magalsutra.

And he was somewhat responsible for all this.

He had originally planned on spending on a luxury honeymoon for the two. But given Shilpa was so further along in her pregnancy, Shikha and Veer had decided not to bother with a honeymoon right now.

Yet, Advay knew that wasn't the reason.

His Chandini had taken away the zeal, the smiles, the happiness of the haveli along with her.

Once he signed as witness and everyone clapped, he couldn't help smile at his beautiful sister, who was now his sister-in-law too. Officially.

Once Veer hooked the mangalsutra in place around her neck, reaching for his pocket, Advay removed his mother's toe ring and handed it to Veer.

Although he had only just given one to Chandini the night of Karwa Chauth, with Shikha he had got another one made for her specially, so she could wear them on both her feet.

As Veer knelt before her and began pushing the ring on her toe, his mother sobbed softly, and Advay too couldn't help his tears.

Yet, it was Yash who was a loud sobbing mess, relieved finally to have given away all his daughters.

Especially to have given away his darling Shikha to another Kashyap.

With another one of his tasks now fulfilled, while flicking his fingers to the black beads around his wrist, he looked up to the heavens, and whispered, "Now what more remains to be done?"

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Alright, this chapter is up, hope you like it. 

Love Chitra.

PS : Well yes it is a closure of sorts for everyone, except Advay that is. SIGH!