chapter five

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"Rise and shine, mutant." A voice calls into my cell and my eyes blink open.

I stare at the ray of light entering my room from the doorway like it might be the door to heaven. I would rather be anywhere but in here. In here is a death trap. In here is loneliness trying to eat me alive. I get up groggily wishing that for once I'd get a break. There is no summer vacation in the asylum. I get zero months off from the torture sessions and imitations. 

    Sadly I'm still alive.

    I don't say a thing about the mutant comment like the guard wants me to. This guard is at least speaking to me. When I look him over, I notice he's new. I've never seen him before, and his uniform is ironed and fresh. The guards drag me towards one of the many torture rooms as I try to blink the sleep from my eyes. When they open the door and I get a glimpse at what's in the room, I struggle and it isn't pretty.

    My elbows are hostile, trying to escape the guard's holds. I can't control my legs as they kick anything solid near them. The guards have to hoist me up to be able to carry me the rest of the way into the room.

    "No, no, no, no." I can hear myself repeating distantly. I can't go through this again. Once was enough. Every night in my dreams is too much. The first time nearly drove me insane. The guards shove me forward and rush out of the room. I race after them but reach the door too late. It slams in my face and I pound on it, attempting to escape. No one lets me out.

    There's never an escape.

    Slowly, I turn to face the screen that's bolted to the wall. There's a glass box around it that won't break. Trust me, I've tried. There's a metal chair bolted to the ground in front of the television. The cement walls feel like they're already pushing into me, daring me to sit in that chair. Then the T.V. suddenly flickers on. When it does, I actually flinch like it hurts. I stare over at the video camera in the top corner that allows Dexter and Parker to watch me. I glare at it for a minute before the sound comes on. I can't watch this again.

    Is seeing it in my sleep every night not enough for them?

    My dad is staring at me all of the sudden. His eyes are wide in shock and Mitch is right next to him. I see my little self next, trembling and hiding behind Mitch. Mitch has a protective hand around my arm, pushing me farther behind him. Even though the T.V. doesn't show it, I can still see the young man, the one in the crisp suit, frown at Mitch.

    "You can't take her without going through us first." My dad's strong voice interrupts my raging thoughts, and I hold back a sob.

My dad just wanted to save me after all he had been through with losing Mom and all the other crap in his life. Mitch nods his head on the screen in agreement to my dad's statement. Mitch loved me too much. He was too nice to me. He cared too much. My heart actually aches when I see him now. I miss him. I close my eyes because I know what's going to happen next. I try to cover my ears, but somehow the volume only gets louder.

    "That can be taken care of." The young man's voice is threatening and I back away, bumping into the wall. Bile rises in my throat, but I swallow it down. Then I hear it.

    The gunshot.

    I shrink into the wall trying to disappear. I am not here. I'm eating pancakes on my birthday with Mitch and my dad. We're laughing and making fun of how old I am now, how I'm getting to be such a granny. I'm laughing too. I roll my little ten-year-old eyes, unaware of the fact I'll be eating alone in an asylum a year away on my next birthday. Mitch will ruffle my hair, but then clean my dish off for me anyway. He'll kiss my forehead before he catches the bus to school. Then it'll just be me and Dad.

    Another gunshot sounds.

    "Stop." I whisper to no one, desperate to be relieved of this horror.

    I don't have to open my eyes to feel the dead weight of Mitch as he falls on top of me. I don't have to open my eyes to feel the pain that comes with my dad and Mitch's deaths on my hands. I could have saved them if I wasn't so stupid, if I just knew a little more about what I am.

    I'm a mutant just like the guard said.

     But I'm a mutant that could have saved them. I slide down the wall and my butt hits the cement. Why am I so pathetic? Why can't I just suck it up and act like this doesn't kill every ounce of composure I thought I had left? How is re-watching this productive anyway? I guess I don't understand the point in torturing innocent people for no reason. Call me crazy. Oh, wait. People already do that.

    With all of the emotions flying through my mind at the same time, I'm not surprised when the lights in the room flicker and then go out. The screen goes to loud static and I know I should feel bad for probably breaking it, but I can't. It's not my fault that they put me in this situation. I barely have a control on my power as it is, and they're just seeing if I can get mad enough to send the whole building an electric current. I could and I've thought about doing it before, but then the other people in the asylum would die along with me. I don't want to kill blameless people.

    "Come on, love." Parker whispers in my ear and it's the first time I feel thankful to hear his low voice.

I peek my eyes open to see him frowning deeply at me. But I know that frown isn't towards me because when he sees me looking, he tries to hide it with a small smile. He's frowning for another reason. I just don't know what. I stare up at him, confused on what he's saying. Where are we going? That's when I see two guards behind him and I return his frown.

    I try to quickly recover.

     The guards usher me into the cafeteria and I sit down at the only empty table. Sometimes Parker will come in and sit across from me, asking me questions while I eat and stay silent. I would never admit it but as much as I hate him, the company is nice. Even though people stare at our table when he's there like it's the plague itself, I'm usually thankful I'm not sitting alone.

    Like I am today.

    One of the cafeteria attendants comes to me with a tray of food. They never give us food that needs the use of utensils. I don't know why. Do they think we'll stab them or something? Half of us can injure them with just our minds so a fork isn't going to make much of a difference. And, seriously, what can we do with a spoon? I stare at the piece of bread, the orange, and the banana that sit on my tray. I asked for an apple one time and they laughed at me. Apparently a lot of damage can be done with that tiny stem.

    My eyes flicker up from the red tray and avoid the many eyes of others. They have their little cliques and it's like high school. Or I think it is from what Mitch told me about high school. I wouldn't know since I've never been to high school. My dad homeschooled me since he didn't want people telling the officials about my powers.

    That plan didn't work too well for him, now did it?

    I look over at the large window that looks out on the cafeteria. It's where the soldiers watch us, or are informed of us. When Parker trains the soldiers, he takes them to that window and they point at us like fish in an aquarium, as if we're the Freak show at the circus. I've never seen Parker point at us like that. He normally frowns at them, says something stern I can't hear, and they stop.

    I see him now with just one soldier. He's talking to the soldier but watching us as he speaks. He catches me eyeing him and tilts his head to the side just slightly. He doesn't tilt it enough for the soldier to notice, but enough for me to. I frown and turn my eyes back to the tray. Finally, I pick up the orange. But just as abruptly as I picked it up, it flies out of my hand. I watch uninterested as it levitates across the cafeteria and lands on a girl's tray.

    She smirks at me with eyes daring me to do something about it.

    "Whoops." I hear her say, and the people at the table who aren't unstable and mumbling to themselves burst out laughing. I can feel Parker watching me intently, gaging how I might react to this.

This isn't the first time this girl has tried to start something with me. I think she's either trying to prove her dominance, or trying to get burnt to ashes. I don't blame her for the second one. I'd like to be burnt to ashes right about now except I can't use my powers against myself. I've tried that and it just won't work.

    I decide to ignore the girl and turn to pick up the banana. The banana, too, zips out of my hand and lands on the girl's tray. This time I don't feel so passive about it. One time is fine, I'll let it go and let them have their fun. But twice? No, I don't think so.

I focus on the orange and banana, and let all the annoyance I feel towards this girl flow through me. As if an electrical pulse forms inside the fruits, they explode right on the girl's tray and all over her. She shrieks and wipes the fruit out of her hair and off her clothes. I smirk.

    "Whoops."

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