3 years later

I jolted up from a nightmare, laying in bed, not moving an inch. It's been 3 years, today makes 3 years. For the past three years, I had dreaded waking up, I dreaded the months passing and the way I ran into October like a brick wall.

3 years of heartbreak. 3 years of torture. 3 years since I lost a piece of me.

I sit up and look over at the other side of my bed. Her spot. I look away quickly and get up, it's too painful to relive.

It hadn't gotten better.

I walked into the closet, avoiding looking at her clothes that hung still, the same position that they were left in.

I grab the clothes I need before walking out quickly. I still haven't gotten used to sleeping alone, the bed feels empty most of the time.

I look down at the ring that hangs on the chain around my neck while I button up my shirt. My heart stings with pain, "happy birthday my love."

The silver ring on my left hand had not left since the day after her funeral, a promise to keep her forever, to someday allow us both to wear ours together.

So much had happened in the past 3 years, all without her by my side.

Megan disappeared a month after Lyla's funeral, no one has talked to her since.

Dante has ignored anything I have said, other than work.

Axel has stayed close by, watching over me, as he is making sure I don't do anything stupid. I know he's doing it for her, making sure I'm okay.

I put my tie on, grabbing my jacket, before walking out of my room. I make my way downstairs Axel is sitting on the couch.

"Let's go."

I didn't wait for a reply, nor for him to get off the couch. I made my way to the vehicle waiting for me, sliding into the car.

I slide some sunglasses over my face, shielding my eyes from the rest of the world.

"We don't have to train them today Easton, I know today is-" Axel starts.

"Shut the fuck up," I grumbled.

"We could talk about her if you want," he mumbled.

I could feel the anger flowing through my veins, talk about her? As if I didn't lose anything, as if she had only just left me as if we were still under the same sky.

I would not take my built-up anger out on Axel, I restrained myself from yelling or punching him, no matter how much I wanted to.

As soon as the vehicle pulled to a stop, I was out. The toxic energy that was held within vehicles didn't help, only made me wish I was a step closer to being with her again.

I walked through the doors and straight up the stairs to my office, I didn't need to talk to anyone, I didn't want to be here. I just wanted to be with her.

I love her still, and I will love her always.

No matter the time, or day. She will always be the one that I love, the one who I let myself grow soft for, letting her touch slowly turn me into someone else.

And, I'll never love again. Not because it hurts too much but because nothing will ever compare to what I felt when I was with her. And now it's gone. She's gone. So all I can do is look back on the memories, trying to relive every moment I had with her.

I slump in my chair, I watch out the glass at Axel talking to the new recuits. I was supposed to be doing this, I was supposed to be okay.

It had been 3 years, yet she still haunted every corner of my mind.

"You need to come down, Easton. Don't want them to think you're weak, do you?" I heard his voice mimick me from the door. I refused to look at him, he was a coward, just like Joey.

"You're the only weak person here, Dante."

"You're still blaming me for this?" He questioned.

I turned, getting out of my chair, walking out of the room.  I fucking couldn't stand to be in the same room as him, he fucking ruined everything.

I walked into the gym, the concrete floors plastered throughout the room. The sound of my shoes echoed out, Axel turned to look at me.

The only fucking person I trusted, in this shit show.

I grabbed a chair from the corner of the room, unfolding it, sitting down. Then looking over at Axel, giving him a nod.

The recruits, stood near the wall, none of them older than 20.

A girl stood slightly scared, her shoulders were slumped, her expression blank. Her eyes stared at the wall on the other side of the room, her brown hair falling to her shoulder

A reminder, of the woman I love.

"I heard he hasn't talked since his girlfriend died," I heard murmured.

"I heard he killed her," someone snickered.

"I heard that she burned and he stood there and laughed."

"I thought she was just a whore."

"He wears the sunglasses because there is so much guilt in his eyes, right?"

The whispers surrounded me, I clutched my hands at my side, before I stood up kicking my chair with my heel into the wall, walking over to where Axel stood, I handed him the sunglasses and turned to the group.

"I fucking offered you a way to get off of the street, and this is how you are going to repay me?" I question, looking at them.

"We have rules here, rules that are to be followed, or you can fucking leave."

"And the number one fucking rule, is not to fucking mention her, do you understand me? I don't give a fuck, what you heard, what gossip there is. You will not disrespect her memory if you want to stay alive." I yell.

They stand there in silence.

I turned to Axel, "finish with them,"

I walk away, out of the room to the vehicle, not long after Axel joined, "Take me home."

The ride is short and unpleasant, the rain slowly started pouring down on the vehicle, as it did every year for the past 3.

The rain continued to pour as I stepped out of the vehicle, and for a minute I could hear the memory of a voice, telling me to smile at the rain, because she loved it.

I looked up letting the rain hit my face, mouthing the words only she would hear, 'I miss you.'

I stripped my jacket and shoes off at the door, the sense of loneliness graced the whole house, it was completely empty without her.

"Mr.Salvetti," the maid said walking over to me.

I shook my head and walked past her, I could hear her talking to Axel from behind me as I trod up the stairs, towards the bedroom.

I yanked on the tie, attempting to pull it off, I was suffocating in the suit, I needed it off. Minutes later I was in a plain shirt and shorts.

A sat on the bed, looking in the mirror. I didn't recognize myself anymore, I looked horrible. The dark circles under my eyes, I couldn't tell if I was even looking in the mirror, my eyes were completely hazy.

"I need you back, it's getting harder to do this without you," I whispered as if she could hear me.

There was a knock at my door before it opened, Axel stood there, not making a step into the room.

"The maids, they were cleaning the spare room." I turned my head, his words caught my attention.

"No one is supposed to go in there." I blankly respond.

"I guess they didn't get that memo, they found something." He said, holding two boxes in his hands.

"What is it?" I question, standing up.

"I don't know, I didn't open them." He stated holding the boxes out in front of him.

I walked towards him, I didn't know what to do. I didn't know what was inside, yet deep down I knew what these were.

I shut the door behind me, after taking the boxes. I opened the first one, and soon realized what they were.

Her memory box.

I knew everything this one held, pictures of her mom and her, she showed me everything in this box. Yet, I never saw the second one before.

I slowly lifted the lid, the box was seamlessly empty, a couple of things littered the bottom but not much. My hand reached inside, pulling out a plain white envelope, my name etched in her handwriting.

A lump in my throat formed, causing my breathing to become swallow as I slowly peeled it open, unfolding the paper.

My Dearest East,

to love you, was as simple as breathing. one of the easiest things i have done in my life. fAlling every day for the, man that was breaking out of a shell. i have never been in love before, but, i know this is exactly what they talk about in books.

you're the love of my life.

and Loving you is a sacrifice i am willing to take. your lifestyle isn't simple at all Easton, and i know at any moment everything could change, but to love you, i am willing to go through it all.

to love you, for even a minute more, i am willing to dIe for that love.

and i guess that's why I'm writing this while you're asleep next to me, if anything is ever to happen, continue to live.

every day is a gift, and i was given the gift of loVing you.

and you just need to remember that.

don't overwhelm yourself by the darkness, let the light continue.

remEmber me always,

Lyla Salvetti

kinda like the ring to that, don't you mr. salvetti?

i love you forever.

The tears slowly started rolling down my face, only if she knew. She loved life, she loved living and enjoying every moment.

She wanted to marry me, which only hurt my heart more because she would've said yes.

And even though it hurts terribly, I'd still do it all over again to have another moment in time with her. Where time stood still so I could hold her and see her smile forever.

A knock brings me out of the daydream of her.

I slowly walk over to the door, I was done with today, I just wanted to sleep and let tomorrow overcome me. The one day out of the year that totally destroyed me, was today.

Tomorrow, it was back to being cold.

I opened the door and in front of me stood Marcus, before I could say anything be walked past me and into the room with his laptop in his hand.

"Now before you yell at me, I'm sorry for being in your room, but it would be worse if I waited to tell you," He spoke.

I slowly nod, what the fuck is he getting at.

"Remember that necklace that you asked me to put the tracking device in?" He questioned.

"Yes, her necklace, what about it."

"Remember there was nothing, for the past 3 years it has been lost because she was wearing it that night." He spoke quickly.

I could feel a prick in my heart, "What are you saying, Marcus."

"Easton it's fucking online!" He yells.

"Marcus stop, she's dead, I watched the vehicle explode." I shook my head, my heart throbbing in pain.

"Megan disappeared almost 3 years ago, no contact, and no spotting her. She was the last person to talk to Lyla before she died." He spoke, pushing his laptop into my hands.

"The necklace is at her apartment," He showed me.

How dare she, take her fucking necklace. She ran away, she knew so much, yet she chose to run away from us. What was stopping her from giving our enemies our weaknesses, the ways to curopt us and dismantle us to the ground.

"Fuck!" I roared.

"If you want to know, her last words. This is the way." He spoke.

I knew so many last words, but I never knew hers.

"Do it," I spoke walking away from him, running my hand through my hair, "And Marcus, I want her alive."