She's a monster.

A lying, two-faced, life ruining monster. I was so excited for Marcus and I to put everything behind us and Whitney goes and pulls this. My reputation is ruined, not that I've even had time to establish one, but what little one I did have is ruined. Everyone thinks I'm a boyfriend stealing slut. Or at least that's what I heard in the bathroom.

"Can you believe Marcus cheated on Whitney?" this girl said from in front of the bathroom mirror. "I mean if he wanted to hook up with me, I would do it, but that's still pretty slutty of that Nia girl to date him knowing he has a girlfriend."

"But what can you expect from a girl like that," her friend replied. "I just hope he doesn't get her pregnant."

There were so many things in those two statements that I could be offended by, I was too upset to pick and choose, so I just cried about all of it.

Sniffling, I pulled some toilet paper from the dispenser and wiped my eyes. As much as I wanted to I couldn't stay in the bathroom for the entire period. I made sure those two girls had left before exiting the last bathroom stall.

I splashed some cold water on my face. I would do anything to have some of the eye drops that Lavender kept in her bag right now. It was embarrassing enough to be in the center of a cheating scandal, but it's even worse to look guilty. And right now I looked guilty.

Closing my eyes I pressed my hands to my forehead, a blistering headache was starting to form. This was too much.

When I imagined what East Chapel would be like, I didn't expect there to be so much drama. Well, I did but I didn't think I would be in the middle of it. I thought it would be like Gossip Girl, only I would be one of the extras. Now I'm Dan Humphries, neck deep in this shit.

Damn, I never wanted to be Dan Humphries.

The bathroom door opened,  I opened my eyes to see Crystal's reflection in the mirror. A sympathetic look adorned her beautiful face, she walked towards me with her arms out. I welcomed her embrace.

I rested my head on her shoulder. "She won't get away with this," she said running a hand up and down my back. "I promise, she won't."

"But why does it feel like she will?" I asked blinking back tears. "No one's going to believe me." Everyone's minds are already made up, and anything that I say falls on deaf ears. The looks I was getting when Marcus and I left the cafeteria made me sick to my stomach.

"Maybe Marcus and I should take a break for awhile? Just until things cool down." That's not what I want but maybe it'll be for the best.

Holding me by my shoulders, she said, "No. That's exactly what she wants. She wants you two to break up, you can't do that. I'm so sick of her trying to control everyone around her with lies and threats." She said the last part mostly to herself.

"But Crystal..."

"No," she stopped me. Determination burned in her blue eyes. "No she's not going to do this to you."

"Fine," I said tired. She shouldn't even be being nice to me after the way I attacked her.

"I'm sorry for the things I said to you, Crystal. You didn't deserve that, I was mad at Marcus for what I thought had happened, and I took it out on you. I shouldn't have commented on you and Whitney's friendship, I don't know anything about it."

"Nia, it's fine, I understand," she said accepting my apology. "And as far as Whitney and I's friendship...well, you're right she does have something against me. I would prefer for her not to spread it around, but if she does then I'll just have to deal with it."

"What does she have against you?" I asked.

She hesitated deep in thought. "You don't have to tell me."

She shook her head. "I'll tell you, I should tell someone. I haven't even told Stacy...I just need to talk about it," she took a deep breath. "Last summer, Whitney and I were hanging out, she was helping me get ready for a gala that my parents were throwing, and," she shook her head. "I don't know why I did it...I wish I could take it back."

"What did you do, Crystal?"

"I kissed her," she said shocking me. "She had snuck some champagne into my room and we were drinking it and laughing. We were having fun," she sighed. "She was helping me zip my dress, and I was looking at her. And she just looked so pretty before I knew what I was doing I kissed her." Her cheeks were flushed as she went on. "After she acted as if it didn't happen, we went back to laughing and drinking like before. It wasn't until she needed something from me that she threatened to use it against me."

"Are you gay?" I asked her. I hadn't expected that from her. Her and Nick seem so devoted to one another.

"I--I don't know," she said unsure. "I love Nick. I do love him," she said trying to convince herself more than me. " I don't want to hurt him, but I'm not in love with him. I like girls, but I don't want to label myself because I haven't been able to explore that part of myself. I can't be outed like this, Nia." She looked me deep in the eyes. "If or when I'm ready I want to do it on my own terms."

I opened and closed my mouth not sure how to respond. No one should be forced to come out, especially by someone who they once thought was their friend. When Tasha came out to Maya and I, she was so sure and confident, but Crystal seems so lost.

"I'm not going to pretend that I understand what you're going through," I told her. "But you deserve to sort through your feelings and define who you are on your own time. I won't tell anyone what you told me," I promised. "You can talk to me anytime it'll be strictly between us."

"Thank you," she said teary eyed. "Thank you so much." She patted underneath her eyes so she wouldn't smudge her eyeliner and mascara. "It feels good to talk to someone about it."

I gave her a sad smile. "Anytime."

She smoothed down her already perfect hair, and straightened her skirt. Looking in the mirror, she declared. "We're going to be okay

"We're going to be okay," I repeated after her as if we were doing some type of weird affirmation exercise.

I repeated the phrase to myself for the rest of the afternoon, but the more dirty looks I got the less i began to believe it. Will Whitney ever stop trying to break us up? Do I want to deal with this until I graduate? Is it worth it?

I like Marcus...a lot. But I don't want to deal with the constant headache that a psycho ex-girlfriend brings.

I dreaded telling Tasha and Maya about the post. I already know what's going to happen; Tasha's going to want to fight and Maya's going to say I told you so. She was wary about my quickness to forgive him, and by wary, she was completely against it.

"You cannot forgive him," she said as she drove me home on Tuesday. "You haven't even had a twenty four hour angry period yet."

"There's nothing wrong with her wanting to talk to him, Maya," Tasha backed me up. "I think it's a good idea."

"Well, I think it's a bad idea. This girl is bad news and she's not going to go away."

"But..."I began. "What if he's telling the truth?"

"Then you proved my point that the girl is bad news," she reiterated.

Tasha rolled her eyes, "Why do you always have to think so negative?"

"Why do you always call my opinions negative?" she huffed. "I'm not saying he couldn't be telling the truth or things can't work out. I'm just saying I have a bad feeling, and usually when I have a bad feeling I'm right."

Once again her gut feeling was right, and I hated her for it. I rested my head on my desk in the computer lab, I thought maybe I'd get lucky and the rumors wouldn't reach me here. What a stupid thought that was. At least they weren't so blatant in their staring it was more just sneaky glances and awkward smiles. I'm just glad they left me alone.

"I'm assuming things didn't go well with you and Marcus," said Thomas, eating from a bag of potato chips. He sat in his desk next to me.

"You haven't heard," I asked. I'd assumed everyone knew by now.

He popped another chip in his mouth. "Heard about what? Did something happen?"

I would say so. "I'm an adulterer."

Thomas choked. Placing a hand over his mouth as he coughed. "You're a what?"

"According to Whitney I stole Marcus from her, I went after him as soon as she turned her back," I laughed humorlessly. "Isn't that something?"

"Nia, I'm sorry," he told me.

"Yeah, me too," I sighed. "I'm ruined."

"Hey, don't worry, something else will happen and everyone will move on."

"They'll move on, but they'll never forget." I turned towards him. He had chip crumbs on his chin and his glasses were a little lopsided on the bridge of his nose. He's been pushing the boundaries with the school dress code lately by wearing t-shirts under his blazer. "I'll always be the girl who stole Marcus away from Whitney." Even though that's not what happened.

"What did Marcus say about all of this?"

"That he was sorry, and that he was going to fix it. Oh and that he was sorry."

"He says sorry a lot," Thomas chuckled.

"You don't know the half of it." Marcus did his best to make me feel better, but it didn't quite work. I was hyper aware of everyone watching us, I was too anxious to even kiss him goodbye.

"Are you going to stay with him?"

I pressed my lips together contemplating the question. "Would it make me a bad person if I said I'm not sure if I want to?"

"I think it's normal for you to have doubts after the things that have happened this week."

I nervously fidgeted with the ends of my hair. "I keep thinking maybe if we break up this will all go away. It's not Marcus' fault but he's..."

"The common factor," he finished for me. "Is that what you were trying to say?"

I nodded in agreement. "Am I a bad person for thinking like that?"

"No," he responded. "Absolutely not."

"Then why do I feel so bad?" I admitted to him. I groaned pressing a hand to my throbbing forehead. "I didn't think dating would be this hard."

"From my experience, it's not," he said. "But I also don't date cheerleaders."

"Thomas, you're stereotyping again," I said but this time I wasn't as mad as last time. I was starting to believe the stereotypes about jocks and cheerleaders were true, or a select few anyway. All I've encountered is drama since hanging with that group, and I'm not into it.

"Sorry," he apologized. "I should have said that I don't date girls that have a lot of drama. I'm into the more low key type, pretty, nice girls, that aren't psychotic."

"I can see the appeal," I smirked. "Thomas why don't you have a girlfriend? Are there not any pretty nice, non-psychotic,girls around here?"

"There is this one girl I like, she's very pretty and very nice. Smart too, with great taste in music."

"Okay, why don't you ask her out?"

"She has a boyfriend," he said looking away from me for a second. "He doesn't deserve her though."

"Oh," I replied, my eyebrows furrowed together. "Maybe she'll break up with him."

He chuckled softly, "Maybe."

I sighed. "I'm sorry I keep unloading my problems on you."

He placed his hand on top of mine giving it an assuring squeeze. "Anytime."

He then opened the drawer of his desk, and pulled out a bag of M&M's. "Here," he said handing them to me. "I keep these around for when I'm having a bad day, I think you could use them."

I took the bag of chocolate candy from him. "You're a lifesaver, Thomas." I tore open the paper packaging and poured some into my hand. I held out my hand, "Do you want some?"

He took a few from my hand. "Sure."

****

Marcus was waiting for me by the front doors after school. I wanted to turn in the opposite direction and run away, but there was something I had to do and it couldn't wait.

"How are you?" he asked when I approached him. He reached out to hold my hands, capturing them in his large hands.

"I'll survive," I said vaguely. "How are you?"

"I'm pissed at Whitney, but I'll survive," he looked down at me. A crease forming between his brows he said, "I want you to know that I never meant for any of this to happen. I would have never cheated."

"I know," I replied. "Marcus there's something I want to tell you."

"What is it?"

I took a deep breath. "I think that we should take a break...."

His mouth dropped open slightly. "But why? This isn't my fault Nia."

"I know, I know," I assured him. "It's just until things calm down, maybe the end of the semester. Things are just so hard right now with everyone talking and looking at us. I think it's best if we just lay low for a little while."

"I can fix this, Nia," he said frantically. "Please, just give me a chance to fix it."

"But that's just it Marcus, you shouldn't have to fix it," I said, "All this drama, it's not me. I don't like being the center of attention, especially this type of attention."

"Can't you see this is what she wants?" he said his grip on my hands growing tighter. "She wants us to break up."

I closed my eyes for a moment. "I know, but if that's what she really wants, is she ever going to stop trying to break us up? I don't want to constantly be worried about when she's going to strike again. I can't take it."

"But we can still hang out, right?"he asked. "We don't have to go to prom or hang out here. We can do other things."

"I want to. I want us to still be friends, Marcus."

He let out a breath. "Nia, I don't think I can just be your friend. I want to be with you. Please don't do this," he begged, breaking my heart.

"I'm sorry, I can't, I can't." I told him over and over. I can't wait for him to fix it. I can't wait for people to move on to the next rumour.

"Promise, it's just for right now," he made me swear.

"I promise."

He wrapped his arms around me in a tight embrace, and pressed a kiss to my forehead. "I hate this."

"Me too." I let myself stay in his arms for a little longer. Maybe if we could just stay like this we wouldn't have to worry about Whitney's pettiness or the prying eyes on us.

His green eyes held so much sadness, I almost called everything off. I hated having to do this, but I know what I'm doing is for the best right now. We'll be together again maybe in a week or sooner. Whenever it is I just have to be sure that this petty drama is over.

He reluctantly let me go, but not before giving me one last kiss. "I'm going to make things right, I promise."
I hope so.