Chapter 39

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Hey all,

As promised yesterday here is the next chapter. I've made this chapter a little longer because I am going to need more time to write the court chapter. So please be patient with me as i really want to give it my all.

Did any of you notice that this story is still holding onto it's no1 spot on chicklit

OMG this is it's 10th week now and I'm like going wild here with excitement!!!

can you imagine what i was when i noticed that my other story Too hot to resist was @ no6

Seriously I can not thank you all enough for all of your support!

Love you all more than you will ever know xx

Mel xoxo

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( song above is especially for Jaxon!)


I walked up the stairs into our bedroom and made my way out onto the balcony. Feeling the coldness hit my face; I sunk down to the ground and began to cry.

My body shook as sobs wracked through my body and as much as I hated crying. For once in my life, I was happy that I could actually cry. The numbness was fading but as quick as it was fading, it was being replaced by rage. A rage so strong, that I wanted nothing more than to go to the prison where they were holding Jaxon and kill him! Kill him with my own bare hands.

Even with Jaxon locked up behind bars, he still managed to hurt me but this time it had endangered my baby too. I stood up and punched the wall behind me, as I screamed out with all my pent up frustration. I imagined the wall being Jaxon's face as I punched and kicked it until I could no more. Just as I was about to collapsed to the floor, I felt Joshua's strong arms wrap around my waist as he pulled me up into his chest.

"Why couldn't my life just be normal for once? Why couldn't everyone just leave me alone and let me be happy," I screamed through my defeated sobs. My hands hurt and my legs felt heavy and weak. Exhaustion hit me like a bullet as I sunk deeper into Joshua's chest. Picking me up bridal style he laid me down on the bed. Joshua left but within seconds he came back with the nurse. Without a word she smiled before cleaning up my hands and legs.

After she redressed them in fresh bandages, Joshua then slipped in beside me and snuggled up to me. No words were spoken between us but what could be said. I had just totally lost it and as mad as I am at myself for losing it, I did feel better. Even if I was in pain and exhausted, it just felt so good to be able to feel again.

Wakening up in bed; I sprung up looking for Elise seeing her lying in Joshua's arms in the rocking chair, made my heart melt. Joshua must have heard me as I made my way over to them. Our eyes locked but none of us spoke. Shifting Elise over a little he patted his knee for me to sit. Not needing to be asked twice, I carefully snuggled into his chest. Lying against his chest, I laid one arm around my baby and the other around Joshua.

"I'm sorry" I whispered into his chest. Joshua kissed the top of my head before he spoke up. "There is nothing to be sorry about. How are you feeling now?" he asked.

"I'm not going to lie to you but right now, I don't know how I feel." I told him honestly. "Isabella truthfully...... I feel the same. I love you so much and seeing you hurting like this, kills me more than you will ever know. However, right now I don't want you to worry about a thing. I have hired some extra help to prevent anything like last night happening again. From now on, we will always make sure someone is with you, just until we get this all cleared up ok?" just hearing his words had me feeling better. "Thank you Joshua." I thanked him as I swallowed back more tears.

"Joshua can I asked you something?" I asked. "Yes my love, anything." I knew I could ask him anything but I really needed him to tell me the truth. "Before you give me an answer, I want you to be totally honest with me." Nodding his head, I carried on.

"Do you or have you ever regretted meeting me?" I didn't know what I was expecting his answer to be but the way his face crumbled with so much sadness, I wished I could've taken my words back. After a few silent moments Joshua spoke up.

"I have never, nor will I ever, regret meeting you because from the very first night I met you, I have never been so happy. Yes we've had a very rough time. Well you have, but I know we can get through this together. You and me and our little princess that's all that matters to me and Isabella please don't ever ask me that again because it hurts. It hurts me deeply that you could even think like that." Hearing so much sorrow in his voice hurt and it hurt me more knowing I was the one that had caused that hurt.

"I love you" I whispered. "I love you too. Now let's get this little one back in her crib so I can have mummy to myself before little Missy here wakes us up again, for another feed.

Joshua laid me down onto our bed. Wrapping me into his body, he kissed me lightly on the lips and before I knew it, we were full out making out. As sore as I was, he still managed to heat my body in places I thought could not be affected so soon after giving birth. Joshua's hands felt so good against my naked flesh that it was as if I couldn't get enough of him. Breaking the kiss we both panted heavily as we stared into each others eyes. I could tell Joshua was holding something back from me and as much as I wanted to know what was on his mind, I didn't want anything to ruin this moment, our moment. Because whenever he had that look in his eyes, I always knew whatever it was, it wasn't good. Shoving it aside, I ran my hands under his shirt and caressed his perfectly hard sculptured chest. Just the mere touch of his flesh against my hands warmed me to the core. The slight tingling feeling in my fingertips sent that comforting safety feeling throughout my entire body.

The next morning Joshua was just sipping his coffee as he sat me on his knee. "Isabella there is no easy way for me to tell you this but I just want you to know that I have tried everything in my power to stop this." His words unnerved me. Goose bumps rose as a sickening feeling engulfed me. Cold chills ran up and down my spine as I waited for him to give it to me.

"You're going to have to stand at the trail to give evidence." I was just about to leap out of his arms in panic but he held me still. "However I have managed to pull some strings so that you can sit in a separate room to Jaxon. However, it will be fed to the main courtroom through live streaming TV." If I wasn't feeling crushed already, I would've been by the way Joshua was staring at me. He looked as defeated as I felt. The only relief I felt was that I had already had my baby so I didn't have a large bump anymore but if you looked at me close enough you could easily tell I had just had a baby. Then again, Jaxon could already know about Elise because of his raging lunatic of a wife. My head spun as my stomach sunk at the thought of being in such a close distance to Jaxon. Even thinking of his name sent flashbacks of that night.

After what felt like a life time of trying to collect my thoughts I spoke up. "Will you be there with me?" I asked nervously, knowing that if Joshua was there I would feel safer. "If you want me there I will be there. Isabella he cannot touch you, let alone get near you ever again. I won't allow it ever." He tried reassuring me. However no amount of reassurance would ever make me feel one hundred per cent safe when it came to Jaxon. He was evil and just the thought of seeing his face, disgusted me. Nodding my head I gave him a tight squeeze before I slipped off his lap and made my way across the kitchen to where my princess was sleeping.

"It's going to be alright princess daddy is going to protect us." I don't know why I was telling my baby this but I guess it was to reassure myself, more than my two day old baby.

"Joshua how long have we got until the court date?" I asked thinking I might as well know everything now and get it over with. Seeing Joshua swallowing hard my heart began to speed up. "Ten days'." His voice cracked letting me know that he didn't like this any more than I did. That was one of the things I loved about Joshua. No matter, all the crap and heartache I had caused him, he was still there for me, worrying and caring for me.

"One more thing" I said thinking I just wanted to clear my head as much as I could while we were getting it all out. "What took you so long to come back to the hospital?" Joshua looked at me as if he knew I was going to ask. "Truthfully I had heard that Jaxon's wife was looking for you. As soon as I found out Paul Jack and I went looking for her but I guess she found you before we found her." He replied, as he left out a heavy sigh. "Hey none of this is your fault." Walking back over to him I wrapped my arms around his neck before leaning down and kissing him. I knew there had to be some sort of explanation and I was so glad it was none of the things I had been thinking of.

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Are you glad Isabella finally got rid of all that pent up frustration?

Do you think she coped good with the news of the court?


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