32. loving someone

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Kat was wearing a loose silver sparkly dress with spaghetti straps that came to her mid thigh. Her velvet black heels clinked down the street as her and Tammy walked to Alice's house. Tammy was wearing the same thing as Kat but in black with silver heels. They thought they were cute.

Alice opened the door and screamed at the sight of them, she was already a little bit drunk. They had a three way hug before Alice dragged them into the kitchen to get them something to drink.

"We aren't too late are we? What time is it?" Kat asked as Alice rushed to pour her a glass of champagne.

"I think it's just gone ten, you're all good but you gotta catch up!" She passed them the flutes and then refilled herself. Kat only realised then that Alice had to have a decent amount of money to be able to afford all these bottles and the relatively nice house they were stood in.

Kat looked around the party as Tammy and Alice chatted, she was looking for someone she knew. There was also the question on her mind of who she was going to kiss at midnight, maybe George but would Matty get mad? Her and Matty hadn't actually properly talked, just texted, since their argument. That was her plan, to sort everything out with him before it was too late.

"Alice, where's Matty?" She asked, knowing Alice would think nothing of it. Alice looked around and shrugged.

"I think he's in the front room, go and check." She smiled her sickenly innocent smile.

Kat walked into the front room to see all her favourite boys sat on the sofas together. They all noticed her sparkle as soon as she walked in and whistled and howled at her. She giggled and sipped her champagne. Matty looked up from his phone and swallowed hard.

"Hey Matthew, you wanna have a chat?" She raised her eyebrows, he smirked slightly with the knowledge she was no longer mad and stood up. He pushed past her in the door, knowing where to go.

"Hey Kitty, save me a kiss later yeah?" A drunk George shouted as she was about to leave. She just winked at him before following Matty out of the front door.

He got out two cigarettes, almost as an olive branch and handed it to her. She let him light hers before his.

"Look, Kit. I'm sorry, I shouldn't of said those things." He started, she nodded.

"I just don't understand why you said them." She replied, he looked away from her as she took a gulp of her drink.

"I hold you so close to me. I haven't even known you that long and you know things no one knows about me, you are someone I cherish. Seeing you, with George like that and seeing the potential that he might know things about you that I don't or vice verse or that he may cherish you as well sent me into some catastrophic anarchy of jealousy." He rambled, using his big words on her which she never appreciated.

"Well, I don't mean to put salt on the wound but if I'm honest George does know some things about me that you don't but that doesn't mean I cherish you any less. I would tell you those things but I seem to be spending time with him and not you." She shrugged, putting her cigarette into her mouth again. This didn't help Matty, he knew that selfishly he always thought Kat was his. He wondered when this had changed but he knew, he had always known.

"Because of Alice..." he said quietly. Kat snapped her eyes to him and suddenly felt fear.

"No, Matty. It's good that you've found someone and that you want to spend time with her-"

"But I'm losing you." He mumbled, she shook her head but he just nodded his. She wrapped her arms around his body and rested her head on his chest.

"I'm here until you ask me to go." She said loud enough for him to hear. He found comfort in his words and kissed her head. "Stop getting paranoid and jealous over nothing. I'm your friend, George is your best friend, Alice is your girlfriend. You have a pretty good bunch of people to spend this coming year with if I do say so myself." She said once she had removed herself from him.

Matty just stared at her, wondering if things could've been different. Was Kat put in his life just so he would go and meet her at work so he could meet Alice? Or was Kat there for some other reason that he hadn't seen yet? Was Kat always going to be his friend, he hoped so.

"We should probably go back in." He said as soon as he realised they were just stood in silence. It wasn't an awkward silence, it was as if they were trying to get enough of each other for the forthcoming year.

Matty made his way back into the front room while Kat decided she wanted a refill, she wasn't sure how her year was going to go.

"Hey hun" Alice's perky voice appeared next to her. "Did you find him?" She asked, Kat nodded.

"We're all good." She answered the question she knew Alice wanted to ask.

"Oh good." She wrapped an arm around her and squeezed her whole body. "I'm so grateful for you Kat, you and Matty and all the boys. You're all such great people and I hope we can have the best year together this year." She slurred to her, Kat looked at the glaring tv to see it had just gone eleven.

"I'm so glad you've come into Matty's life Al and you've accepted him for who he is." Kat spoke truthfully, pushing any stray feelings away for a moment. Alice's face folded and she pulled Kat into a hug. Someone called Alice's name and she ran away squealing, Kat couldn't help but laugh.

She walked around the party for a moment, seeing many things she didn't need to such as Ross up against wall as Tammy gave him a very deep kiss. She slapped Tammy's bum as she walked past.

"It's only half eleven, come on guys." She teased, Tammy put her middle finger out to her.

"There she is." A deep voice said behind her before two tree trunk arms wrapped around her and picked her up; it was George. She turned round and giggled. "Thought I'd come and find you early just in case some other guy snatched you." He stunk of alcohol so Kat felt the need to down her drink in response.

"I fear no one else would bother." She spoke honestly, George shook his head.

"Never. I know a few lads who would try their luck." He poked her, Kat looked around.

"Please introduce them or I may have to go shopping for a cat." She joked, he let out a bellowing laugh and shook his head.

"Come on Kitty, where's miss independent?" He spun her round as the music pulsed through the room.

"What can I say? New year new me" She giggled, he wrapped an arm around her as they had ten minutes to go.

Matty wandered into the main area to find Alice for his New Years kiss. He spotted her with a couple of her friends near George. George had his arm around Kat, which he was sure he would never get used to, alas there was nothing he could do.

"Ally baby." He snaked his arms around her waist and kissed her neck from behind. All her friends awed as they usually did when he displayed any affection, it was slightly annoying. "Shouldn't you guys be finding someone to hook up with?" He asked, earning a slap on the arm from Alice. She pulled him next to her but he didn't understand why that was rude, that's what people did on New Years.

"Matty, what do you hope for the new year?" Alice asked as her friends dispersed. They had five minutes to go. Matty's eyes flickered to Kat for a brief second before coming back to Alice.

"I dunno, more of you I guess." He mumbled, putting an arm around her. She grinned and kissed his cheek.

Everyone stood watching the tv, in their couples. Adam and Hannah, Dylan and Wren, Ross and Tammy, Matty and Alice and finally George and Kat. Whether they were actually together or not, they all knew they were getting a kiss.

"10!" Matty squeezed Alice.

"9!" Kat grinned up at George.

"8!" Alice grinned at the tv screen.

"7!" Matty turned his eyes to Kat.

"6!" Kat turned her eyes to Matty.

"5!" Matty winked at Kat.

"4!" George squeezed Kat.

"3!" Kat turned away from Matty.

"2!" Alice squealed.

"1!" Everyone turned to each other.

Matty rested his elbows on Alice's shoulders and folded his arms around her so he could get as close to her as possible for their make out, trying to ignore his best friends kissing next to him.

Kat wrapped one arm around George and gave him a firm kiss but nothing more. George grinned down at her, loving being in her company.

"Happy new year Kitty" he rustled her hair, she rolled her eyes but she was beyond happy in that moment.

"Happy new year, you tree." She laughed, the drink going to her head slightly.

Everyone wandered around, kissing everyone and saying happy new year to anyone they could find. Tammy wrapped her arms around Kat and squeezed her tightly before kissing her firmly.

"This is going to be our year, Kat. These boys are gonna make this interesting." She put an arm around her and pulled her back so they could watch the crowd. Kat grinned, wanting just that. She noticed Matty step outside alone and suddenly became too curious for her own good.

"Happy new year, Tam. I'm going for a ciggie." She kissed her cheek and Tammy laughed.

"New year new me?" She suggested, Kat shook her head.

"Some things will never change." She called as she walked towards the door.

Matty was leant up against the wall, out of sight as she stepped out. She only knew he was there because of the smoke. Making her way over to him, she grinned at the sight of him.

"Happy new year Matthew." She leant against the wall next to him and lit up her cigarette.

"Happy new year Katherine." He retaliated and leaning slightly into her. "It doesn't feel very different, does it?" He almost sounded disappointed. She watched as he scratched his arm and bit her lip.

"Your whole life isn't going to change in five minutes" she giggled, he shrugged.

"Sometimes it does." He mumbled, she just laughed at him. He wanted to tell her that he was having cravings, that he usually injects in the new year but he didn't. He licked his lips and rolled his head along the wall so he was facing her.

"Come on Matty, let's go get wasted." She suggested, he sighed and looked her up and down.

"You look beautiful tonight." He complimented, she ran her hand up and down his forehead and smiled. Before she knew what to do, his lips were on hers but they were calm and only there for a moment or two. He almost breathed out a sigh of relief as he pulled away. "Sorry." He mumbled.

"Are you okay?" She held his wrist, he took one final puff of his cigarette and blew it out calmly.

"I'm okay." He breathed and believed it, at least for that moment.

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