It took me two more weeks of silence before I decided to unblock Ezra and reach out to him again. He sounded surprised when I called him. From the tone in his voice, it sounded like he thought I had written him off for good. I really thought I had too.

I woke up that morning and finally made a decision.  I was a mess with Ezra, but I was even worse without him.  Something inside me felt broken without him in my life.  He was not always kind or patient, but it was not like I was the best version of myself either. We were both sloppy and unhinged, but we had a fire within us that could not be put out.  No matter how hard I tried, I kept circling back to him.

"Riley?" Ezra's voice sounded surprised over the phone. I wasn't sure what I was expecting from this, but I was ready to make my move. I hoped it wasn't too late. 

"Can we talk?" I blurted out.

"Uh, yeah." He replied in a guarded tone.

"Do you want to meet up somewhere?"

"You can just come over.  Aiden's the only one here right now. He sounded too formal and awkward. "Unless you want to go somewhere else."

"No, the house is fine." I agreed nervously. 

"Ok, I'll see you soon."

Aiden answered the door when I knocked. He looked a little surprised to see me and gave me a huge hug.

"Where the hell have you been?" He asked as he squeezed the breath out of me.

I hadn't seen him since the night at Bannon's when Ezra and I fought. Aiden looked extremely happy. He and Brynn must be doing well.  I wouldn't know, though, since I hid out in my bedroom for the last month and a half. 

"I just had a lot going on."  I answered as I pulled myself away from him.

"Yeah, I just thought you would have at least called Brynn or even me about it.  You have friends. You shouldn't forget that we care about you."  He reminded me.

"I'm sor..." I began to say before he interrupted me.

"Stop.  You don't have to apologize. That's not what that was about.  I just want you to know you're not alone."  He smiled down at me and rubbed my shoulder.

"I know."  I meekly squeaked out.

"He's upstairs." Aiden motioned towards the staircase. "JD is at Anna's parent's cabin this weekend and Mark is at his new girlfriend's place. You guys will have the place to yourselves tonight if you want it. I can stay at Brynn's. If you need me, please call."

"What?" I asked nervously.

It was not like I wanted Aiden to stay with us, but I wasn't sure about being alone with Ezra again until we figured things out.

"Riley, you two obviously need to talk. I've known you for a long time. I see how you look at him when you think no one's watching." Aiden took my hand in his and squeezed it before continuing.

"You need to figure this thing out with Ezra and then talk to JD about it. You guys won't be able to keep this quiet much longer. JD is starting to suspect something. You both have been headcases for weeks now, he keeps asking questions and I have been trying to throw him off in different directions. He is like a bloodhound."

"Aiden, I..." He raised his hand to stop me.

"I will stay if you want me to." He offered.

"No, go see Brynn. Tell her I'll call her later." 

Aiden rubbed my arm again and gave me his classic toothy smile. He walked out the door without sayings by another word about Ezra and me.

Aiden was a really good person.

I walked upstairs with butterflies in my stomach. I hadn't seen Ezra in weeks. Would the time apart give him time to realize he didn't want me anymore?

I knew I still wanted him.

Every day apart grew harder and harder for me. The aching inside me had grown too unbearable to ignore any longer.

I reached the top of the steps and looked around the corner. Ezra's door was slightly open and I could see him sitting on his bed with his head in his hands. His hands were shaking and he was trying to steady his breathing.

He looked nervous too.

I knocked lightly and he jumped up to open the door immediately. He was dressed in black pants and a thin white t-shirt. I could see the outline of the music notes near the band of his jeans. His hair was styled in his usual messy waves and he pulled his hand through the tangles to push it back off his face. His icy blue eyes met mine and I lost all the words I had been reciting in my head on the drive over.

"Hi, Ezra." I timidly bit my lip.

"Hey, come on in." He swallowed hard and moved back from the doorway to let me pass. He was about to touch me but pulled back, unsure of what he should do. I could tell he was not sure exactly why I was here. "How have you been?"

"I've been hanging in." I said, not sure really how to answer him. "You?"

"Me too." He answered while looking down and studying his long fingers.

Ezra began moving them nervously like he was trying to figure out how to position his fingers to play a new chord. I almost went over to hand him his guitar just to hear what song they were playing.

I missed watching him play.

I missed how he touched me.

Above all else, I missed how he made me crazy yet grounded me at the same time.

I just missed Ezra.

Why was this so uncomfortable? I should just take a running jump into him and kiss him.

"You said you were ready to talk?" Ezra questioned without looking at me. He was picking nervously at his fingernails.

"I... uh..." I stumbled.

I didn't even know where to begin.

I was the one who called Ezra and I couldn't even find a way to say anything. Why was I struggling so hard to find the words I wanted to say to him? I couldn't form a coherent thought and I couldn't make anything come out of my mouth.

I was frozen in place.

"Fuck, just say it, Riley." Ezra begged me as he raised his eyes to meet mine. "Just tell me you don't want to be with me and get it over with. Tell me you are too good for me and I don't deserve you.  Tell me you hate me and never want to see me again. Please don't make me wait any longer for you to break my heart."

"Did you mean it when you said you loved me?" I asked.

That was not what I had planned on saying to him. I'm not sure why that was the first thing that flew out of my mouth. I could feel the flush creeping over my body.

Ezra looked into my eyes and pushed his hands through his hair. He stayed silent for too long. I nodded, accepting what I felt like I already knew. He said it. I never asked him to say it. If he didn't mean it, then that meant the only reason he said it was to get me to sleep with him again. I began to cry and grabbed the doorknob to pull the door open wider so I could leave.

I was so stupid.

Ezra was on his feet behind me as I began to try to walk through the door. He placed his hand near the top of the door and gently pushed it closed before I could leave the room. I turned around and looked back at him. He took one step towards me and closed the space between us. He pressed his lips against mine and held my face in his large hands. I melted into him while the tears streamed down my face.

"I love you." He whispered into my mouth.

"I love you." I said back to him.

Ezra looked deep into my eyes, sending shivers down my body. He smiled at me and leaned down to kiss me again. I wrapped my arms around his neck and threaded my fingers in his hair. His lips continued to caress mine as the ache inside me began to subside. I pulled my lips away from him and he swiped some of my loose hair back from my face.

"Ezra, if we want to try to make this work. JD is going to have to find out. I will have to be able to tell my parents too. I don't want to keep sneaking around. I need you to think if this is something you want. Once we decide on this, everything might change for you. It could get really bad."

"I'm all in, Ry." He pulled me into him. "I'm ready for whatever will happen."

I glanced at the door and then back to him.

"No one else is home." I reminded him.

The corners of his mouth pulled into a smile and he reached back to lock the door.

I pulled my hair out of my messy bun and let it fall down to my shoulders. I grabbed the back of his head and pulled his lips back down to my mouth. He bit my lip and I moaned into him.

Ezra ran his hands down my body to the bottom of my shirt and pulled away just long enough to lift my shirt over my head. His eyes traveled down to my hot pink lace bra. The fabric was sheer and my hard nipples were poking through the thin fabric.

He removed his shirt and used my belt loop to pull me to him. He pressed himself against me so I could feel what my body was doing to his. I moved back a bit to unbutton his pants and pulled his pants and boxers down. I removed my pants and left my hot pink lace panties on.

I pushed him back on the bed and climbed on top of him. I moaned as his skin brushed against my panties. The ring on his head brushed against me and I lost all control.

I began moving my hips in slow circles teasing him. I moved my panties off to the side and rubbed his skin against mine.

"Fuck, it's been too long." He said.

"Mmm," I moaned, moving my hips faster over him.

I wanted to come, but I needed him inside me more.

"Condom?" I asked, out of breath and shaking. He reached over and grabbed one out of the top drawer of the nightstand. I took it from him and slid it over him quickly. I took off my bra, exposing my chest so he could enjoy the full view.

I raised my hips up and guided him into me. I slowly moved my hips up and down and in circles.

I dipped my hips as low as I could to take him in as deep as possible. He was so large, it's hard to get him all in, but I needed it. I leaned back towards his knees and continued to move him in and out of me, trying to keep him as deep as possible. He moved his hips so he was hitting my spot at just the right angle. He placed his hand on me and started rubbing circles over me.

I was overwhelmed by the pleasure and tried to lean back down into him. He leaned forward and grabbed my hair, pulling me back so he could continue to rub his ring inside me in just the right spot. His other hand still circled me.

"I didn't say you could move yet." He growled, nipping at my skin. "You are such a naughty girl." I bit my lip and continued riding him. My pace quickened. His mouth was so dirty. It drove me crazy. He could make me come just from his words.

My body tensed, nearing my release. He could feel me tightening around him. He began slamming himself into me when my legs began shaking.

"Ezra." I screamed for him and tore at his skin on his stomach with my fingernails. I could see the red marks forming where my nails had dug in.

His body tightened as he spilled into the condom.

I screamed out with pleasure as he continued to slam into me. My vision blurred and all my nerve endings ignited and exploded at once.

I collapsed onto him and he leaned back to place his arms around me. We were both breathing heavily and I looked up at him. He had a huge smile on his face as he looked down at me.

"What?" I said self-consciously.

"I missed you." He kissed my forehead.

I shifted off him shakily and laid my body next to his. He pulled the covers over me and leaned on one elbow, looking down at me.

I smiled and reached up to push his hair off his face. I traced the line of his jaw and moved my hand down over the tattoo on his chest. He leaned in and kissed my lips gently. Not the usual forced, hurried pace we always had to have. It was sweet, tender and unlike any other kiss, I had ever had before. 

I turned over with my back to his abdomen. My body was exhausted and relieved from our encounter. He wrapped an arm around me, pulling me close to him. He kissed my shoulder and neck. I began to shiver all over again.

"Take a nap. We've got all night." He snuggled in closer. "I love you, my beautiful girl."

"I love you." I said with my eyes feeling heavy. I closed them and drifted off into a peaceful sleep.