Another Ezra POV chapter I wrote when I first started writing this series. This one is a little harder to read than the last one because it deals with Ezra right after the accident and the emotions of what he was going through. For anyone who has read the whole series, this one might not be a surprise that he is a little more complicated than the first book hints at. For those who have only read the first book, it is a glimpse into his character a little more that you will discover in the next two books.

I want to sincerely say thank you to everyone who has supported this book.  I love the comments about Ezra's character and the relationship he has with Riley.  Thanks for sticking around to see the story through and for all the support! 

After the Accident

Ezra's POV:

"She's pregnant. Please help her." I cried in the back of the ambulance as I held onto my girl. The paramedics tried pushing me away to get to her. I fought them as hard as I could. She needed my help.

She was going to die and I had to save her.

"Son, you will need to let us do our job." The man taking her vitals said as I struggled through the bodies to get by her side again.

Riley hadn't opened her eyes once since the accident happened and I desperately needed her to be alright. I would spend the rest of my life apologizing for doing this to her and I prayed it would be enough to get her back.

"But she's bleeding so much. Make it stop. Please help her." My ordinarily strong voice sounded small as I choked my tears back.

The paramedics arrived on the scene ten minutes after I called for help. They immediately splinted her arm before the fire and rescue team came and moved in to rip open the car to get her out. Her wrist was bent at the wrong angle and didn't look quite right. It was the same one she used to hold herself in place during the crash.

The accident I caused.

It was my fault. I hurt Riley and I didn't mean to.

One of the paramedics who helped pull her from the demolished car was standing over top of her. He was using some kind of odd-shaped scissors to cut the bloody clothes from her body as we barreled down the road with the sirens blaring. It left bright red streaks behind, staining her legs. There was so much everywhere and I had no idea where it was coming from. It was getting so much worse since they moved her to the stretcher.

Even the large gash under her eye looked deeper than it was in the car.

I should have listened to Riley when she asked me to slow down. Better yet, I shouldn't have let my jealousy over her relationship with Aiden get into my head enough to put her in this situation in the first place. I screwed up. My brain was just so torn up after what Brynn told me she saw happen in the house and I couldn't let it go. I always suspected there was more between her and Aiden that I didn't know about, but I never really wanted it to be true.

I couldn't blame Riley for looking for someone who wasn't such a fuck up. I had given her every reason to look elsewhere. Tonight was proof that I was a terrible person. She needed someone stable to help her with the baby and I wasn't even close.

I should have been a real man and told her what was going on in my head. But unfortunately, I had never been one to open up and share my feelings with anyone.

My Dad had made sure I learned that lesson at an early age. One night, he came home and caught me crying over a broken toy. He called me a pussy and decided to teach me a lesson by punching me in the jaw repeatedly until I blacked out. I woke up in my bed with my mom apologizing and making excuses for him like she always did.

I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I saw that defeated look in her eyes that my mom always carried to this day.

I didn't want that for Riley.

Instead of telling my girl I was scared to be a dad because of my past and who it made me, I tried to push her to do something she didn't want to do.

I didn't know what else to do.

I never had the happy life Riley had growing up and was ashamed of it. I knew I was no good. I was horrible to her and would make an even worse father.

I was sitting in the back of an ambulance watching the girl I loved suffer because I couldn't control myself. Why did I do things like this? Why was I so wrong all the time?

Why was Riley being punished for the things I did?

Ten minutes later, the paramedics were shuffling me out of the back of the ambulance and wheeling her stretcher in through the sliding glass doors of the nearest hospital. I tried to follow them back behind the privacy curtain, but one of the nurses stopped me from going in.

"Honey, are you hurt?" She asked with kind, warm eyes as she held me back and stared at the blood covering me.

"No, it's my girlfriend, she...she..." I couldn't say the words.

"Do you want us to call someone for you?" She asked.

I wanted to call JD and tell him what happened, but I couldn't face him now. There was no way I could look him in the eye when he showed up at the hospital and tell him what I did to hurt her. I had no one I could call who could help me. I was alone and I could only blame myself for it.

"Let's get you cleaned up and then I will see what I can do to get you back there." The nurse smiled sympathetically at me.

She brought me back to a room where I could wash Riley's blood off my skin. When I looked in the mirror, I could see how bloodshot and unfocused my eyes were. The usual bright light blue looked lifeless under the dark shadows. I could see the faint bruising forming where I hit my head in the crash. The other side didn't look much better from the fight.

No matter how bad it looked or how much it hurt, it was nothing compared to what Riley was going through.

"Why? Why? Why?" I screamed out and slammed my hands against the sink.

Why didn't I try to turn the car so my side hit instead of hers? Why did I make her leave with me? Why couldn't I just leave her alone in the first place?

I should be the one in the hospital bed right now fighting to hold on, not my beautiful girl.

After a few minutes, the nurse came back to grab me and walked me back to her room. She said they had stabilized her and were running some additional tests.

She was alive. Riley had survived.

I couldn't even find the words to respond to the nurse as she asked me question after question about the accident. She slowly guided me down the hall and through a few automatic doors until we reached a heavy wooden door that was cracked open slightly.

"She's in there, hon. You can go in." She pulled her lips back in a taught grimace and nudged the door open.

I walked into the room slowly. I was scared to go in by myself. I wanted the nurse to follow behind me in case I forgot how to stand.

What if Riley didn't want to see me and forced me to leave?

What was I even going to say to her?

Riley was still sleeping in the dim hospital lighting. Her tiny body looked so fragile, bruised, and broken in the hospital bed.

I broke her.

I did this to her.

She looked so wrong with the wires and tubes in her. The worst part was she still wasn't moving. Her eyes were squeezed close like she was trapped in a nightmare. I had watched her sleep before. Riley always had a small smile on her lips when she dreamt while curled up next to me. The smile was gone now. I doubted she would ever smile at me like that again after what I just put her through.

I pulled a chair up next to her and sat down. I held her hand, careful not to pinch or pull any of the tubes coming from it. I half expected her to squeeze my hand back, but she didn't. I wanted her to wake up and tell me she would be fine and not to worry. I would kiss her and tell her I was a dumbass. I would promise to take care of her and our baby for the rest of our lives if she still decided she wanted to keep it, which she would.

Riley was it for me. I had known it the first time I saw her, even if I didn't understand what it was I was feeling about her.

"Please, beautiful. Just open your eyes for me." I tried to pull her back into her body with my words.

I just wanted her to come back to me.

I laid my head on her stomach and wrapped my arm around our baby growing inside her. I kissed her soft belly. I never even told her how radiant she looked tonight. Even in her sadness, she was glowing, at least until she saw me walking toward her. When her face changed as I came closer, it hurt me and I lashed out at her as soon as I could get her alone. I always screwed up everything when it came to her.

But I was done this time. I was going to be better because they both needed me to be—her and the baby.

"I'm so sorry," I whispered to our baby inside her.

I closed my eyes, cradling my girl and the little one, until I heard some voices in the hallway. They were talking about Riley and her current condition. I let go of her reluctantly and snuck to the door so I could listen in. Since I wasn't family, they weren't going to give me much. I was surprised they let me stay with her as long as they did.

"Female, eighteen. Her medical records confirm that she was about twelve weeks pregnant at the time of her arrival. She sustained a severe head injury, broken arm, and laceration below her eye. Multiple contusions on the right side of her body." The doctor said to someone outside the door.

"Has the family been contacted?" The female nurse asked. It was the same nurse who helped me clean up earlier. The lady was clearly good at her job and I was glad Riley had someone like her taking care of her tonight.

"Yes. The police got in touch with them a few minutes ago and they are on their way. We will have to tell them she lost the baby when they get here." The male voice answered.

No.

No.

No.

Please, this couldn't be happening.

"She's really young. Do you think she told them? The boyfriend is here. Should we tell him first?" The nurse asked.

"Legally, I can't. I have to wait for the family since she is not conscious for consent and doesn't look like she will wake up anytime soon. She has quite a bit of swelling in her brain. She is lucky to still be alive." The doctor said.

I couldn't breathe. This had to be a nightmare.

I slid down against the wall and curled up into a ball with my head between my knees. Riley couldn't have lost the baby. She wanted it so badly and I was selfish. I fought her on it every step of the way. I was cruel and insensitive to her. I took away her choice.

I was a monster.

About twenty minutes later, I found myself roaming the halls and didn't even remember how I got there. The pill bottle in my pocket was completely empty. I must have taken the rest of the pills at some point. I was busy searching for something and didn't even know what it was. I turned my head in every direction until I hit an immovable object in front of me.

"What the hell happened?" Mark grabbed my arms and screamed at me.

"Riley is hurt and lost the baby. I have to find it for her." My lips moved without my permission.

"Wait, baby? What?" Mark guided me to the side of the hall.

"We were seeing each other and I got her pregnant. She lost the baby and I don't know where it is." I mouthed slowly as I wiped my hand over my numb face.

"You motherfucking asshole. How could you do that to her?" Mark pushed me against the wall.

I stared at the lines on the wall, trying to find whatever the hell I was looking for. Mark pushed me back into the wall again and I let it happen. I didn't have any fight left in me. He could strangle me right now and I would let him.

"Are you high right now?" Mark asked, assessing my appearance.

I just nodded slowly. I was done with life.

"You really fucked up, Ezra. Everyone is on their way here. You need to get out of here and go get sobered up before anyone else arrives. Come on. I will take your stupid ass home." Mark grabbed my arm and pulled me towards the exit.

"I can't go back there," I mumbled as I tripped over my own feet.

"I'm not taking you to the band house. I meant back to Indiana. You need to get your shit together. Don't you even think about coming back near her again until you do."