Gerald POV

My nose gushed blood as I looked in the mirror, this has never happened before. I yelled and started to wash my face off, but the blood kept coming. Danny rushed in the bathroom, forcing open the door and pushing a rag against my nose.

" Hey Ger! Listen stop crying, breath through your mouth, tilt your head up babe." I listened as she guided me to the sofa and I sat down, holding the rag, my heart racing. She disappeared and came back with bloody paper towels obviously from cleaning up my mess I left in the bathroom. She washed her hands before sitting beside me and carefully taking the rag, folding it and pressing it under my nose again. "It's killing you Gerald... You're so skinny..."

"I can't quit I don't have a reason to quit. I don't have you D." She sighed softly and adjusted the rag again before grabbing a water off the table.

"I'm right here aren't I?"

"You don't wanna be with me..."

"I want to be with you... It's hard to look past all you've done."

" How do I earn a chance?"

"Clean yourself up and stop fucking Every thing that moves. Then... We can talk... Maybe have dinner together. Small things... Cause I am not getting hurt by you again." I looked in her eyes before down at the bloody rag. She was right. I was a fucking mess with these drugs. "I think you might need to talk to Ben... Macklemore Ben." She raised the water to my lip and I took a sip before laying down, my nose finally stopped draining blood and she got a new wet cloth, cleaning up any remains of the red fluid.

"I'm so tired... Of feeling like this..."

"Me too. I'm watching the man I somehow still love kill himself." I made room on the sofa for her. She was hesitant but laid down and I placed my head on her stomach.

"Can you just stay with me tonight D?"

" Yeah Ger..." She sighed softly as I closed my eyes. I was selfish lately. I didn't even care that she herself was still healing from being nearly killed by a psychopath.

"Does the memories still haunt you? Of Denis?"

" No... I know he'll never get to me again. I hate that my body sometimes relies on this drug to function. That's what makes watching you so difficult. I don't want to take the drug, meanwhile you're willingly killing yourself." I nodded before I twirled the string of her sweatpants around my finger abscentmindedly. " You gave me no time to recover. I just thought you really didn't want to settle down with me."

"I do, but I have this demon.... I've had this demon for years. I can't quit. It isn't just bam you're done. It's these withdrawals... That are so painful."

"I know... I watched friends go through it Ger... Hot showers in attempts to stop the shivering. Then the sweats, the vomiting, it will end. Maybe you'll need rehab." I just nodded. I didn't want to argue that I wasn't going to go to rehab and be all over the news as a fuck up. I had just gotten big.

"D?"

" Yes Gerald?"

"I'll get clean... But... I just need you to be there and smack me when I'm dumb. Even just as a friend till I get my shit straight and I'm worth asking you to go to dinner... Maybe being my girl again one day."

"I won't get hurt again Ger... But I'll take you up on your offer." She gently began to play with my hair till she went still. Her breathing calm as I laid there wide awake, riding out my bad high. Blizzy walked in with Grady and Marty. Silent as they glanced at me and headed to their bunks. James stopped though and looked to the bloody towels. It was obvious to him what was going on and so he sat on the whispering as he spoke.

"She offer to help you?"

" Yeah..."

"Bro, you hurt this girl again... When she gives you another chance... And mom and I will fucking kick your ass. She's fucking going through the same shit. I don't see her relapsing."

"I know... I'm pathetic... James thanks."

" For what?"

"Being honest... For being my brother." He gave a weak smile then looked to Danny.

"Thank her for telling me to stick with you..."

" What do you mean?"

" She told me this isn't you... That she's gonna stick around and ride it out with you till you're clean. She said she's your girl through it all even when you're going off and fucking chicks everywhere. She cried Gerald, but her love doesn't wavier for you and that's legit. She's the realest woman I think that exists. Ride or die... Like I said don't fuck it up. Mom would have your head." I gave a weak laugh as he stood and headed off to his bunk. The bus began rolling on again and the lights turned off. I tightened my arm around you and kisses your stomach. Little did I know what you were gonna be dealing with because it was so much more than my addiction you had to handle. I glanced at the case on the table, the emergency drugs you had to have beside you at all times. You were fighting a bigger demon than I.

" Love you Daniella."

" Love you too Gerald. Get some rest." You pulled the blanket off the back of the sofa. I was shocked you were awake. Apparently James and I didn't whisper quiet enough. I was so thankful that sleep welcomed me into a bliss. Away from the drama and drugs for a few hours. In all honesty I think Danny's presence calmed it all. She was my drug after all. Every night she was that some kind of drug in my brain. No woman or fan could replace Daniella Evans. She was Mrs. Gillum. At least I hoped she would be one day.