Faith

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Daniella POV

I made the mistake of trusting him again. Everyone said he wouldn't change, they were right. He had the moments of being the man I loved and moments of being the man I hated. I watched the videos over and over again before taking a deep breath and ringing Marty.

"Yo! D!"

"Shut up Marty... You know where Gerald is?"

"He's here somewhere, why..."

"Just... Save him from himself. I'm not dealing with it tonight." I hung up. He knew what I meant, we'd been through it tons of times. I laid down on the sofa and glanced at the tv before turning it off. Suzanne was fast asleep in the guest bedroom. Thank God because only when I'm alone can I contain such strong and painful emotions. The way he admired her body with his hands made me sick. Here I was fighting to live a normal life and he was doing coke off a whore's chest. I laid down and glanced at the door once I heard keys gingle, there walked in the excuse of a man named Gerald. Looking at me with puppy dog eyes. How dare I feel pity in this moment for him. James and Marty we're helping him along to the bedroom, he was too wasted to talk.

"D?"

"What Martin?" I rarely used his full name, but I was upset. He sighed and sat down.

"I'm sorry."

"I don't even care..." I blinked back tears but they fell anyways, Marty pulling me into a hug. "I can't do this... I can't!" Tears turned to sobs, my heart finally beat my brain.

"Shh it's gonna be alright." I felt Suzanne's small hand squeeze my shoulder. She was now awake, I could only imagine if she'd seen the video yet. "He needs help."

"I can't help him! I can't! I can't help his addiction to whores and coke!" I stood and took a deep breath, I could feel my body tensing. Not now, no please.

"Danny!" I fell back down onto the sofa, my heart racing in my chest, then my hated relief. Suzanne wielding the needle that had forced my relief. I fell over to lay down and looked straight ahead. I didn't feel like moving, I didn't want to move. My body tingled as it pumped the poison through. I was able to move my fingers as I began calming my heart down, then sleep took me away.

"Danny?... Danny?" I blinked a few times, my eyes adjusting to the morning sun peaking through the curtains. I wish last night had been a dream, it wasn't. I was on the sofa, he was sitting on the floor looking at me with red eyes. He'd been crying it was obvious. Someone had told him the mess he created.

"What? Please don't say you're sorry. You obviously didn't mean it the first time..." I mumbled and slowly sat up, my head was spinning. A tear left his eye as he got up and sat beside me, not daring to touch me.

" So I take it... You're not going on tour?"

"I am... As your assistant tour manager... Not as Danny who use to be your girl." Reality struck him as I stared into his eyes. "Go fuck whoever you want G- Eazy. Go do blow. Go do whatever you want." I stood and wandered past the suitcases. Going into the spare bathroom and turning on the shower. It was there that I cried silently. I refused to let him see the pain he created. I scrubbed my skin of his smell, I added make up to cover me falling apart. I managed to walk out looking put together. Black skinny jeans, a red crop top and black heels. He could barely look at me, if he did it was with that sympathetic look. Dare I say Susanne looked almost as rough as him.

"Van is here." I watched as James carried my things to the van before Ellie and I met outside of the van. She looked at me with a weak smile but all I could manage was a nod. At the airport it was hell. Fans asked for pictures of us together, we had to accept. Paparazzi questioned how I felt about last night. I didn't mumble a word. I couldn't without crying. Neither could Gerald it seemed, because he squeezed my hand tighter with each question about the topic. Once on the plane Gerald went one way and I went the other. Everyone could tell except us how we didn't function well without each other. We were whiskey and a glass. It didn't feel right without the two together. Ellie sat on the sofa beside me and glanced over as I dug at my nails.

"He's sorry."

"He said that last time..."

" You two love each other."

"Ellie..." I looked at her before looking back down at my nails. "I know... But I can't trust him. This tour would have probably broke my heart anyways. I forgave him for the Devon thing, the London thing, I can't forgive him anymore."

"But-"

"But nothing. After this tour, I'm done. I'm going home. Trying to just fucking get my life in order." I looked over to Gerald, he was on his phone, absent mindedly of course. Even when we landed we didn't speak, but merely went our separate ways. Dare I say two days later he was over me. Clubs and afterparties ruled his world. Drugs, women, anything but Gerald.

I looked out the tour bus window, trying to push out the sounds of moans, and slapping skin, he yelled a name. It was mine. Seconds later a smack and a brunette stormed out of the bus. I laid down and covered up, closing my eyes as I heard him sigh and walk into the living room area as she left. I felt the weight of him sit near my feet on the sofa. His warm hands touch my toes.

"You were right... I'm a fuck up... But you haven't left my mind baby girl... I can't even fuck a girl without yelling your name... I wish I could start over. I just wanna be numb ever since I lost you." He sniffled and his hand gave my foot a squeeze. "I love you...." He stood, I heard the sound of him snorting more than likely coke up his nose. Then cries, thank God everyone else was still partying... Why? Because Gerald was cracking through the mask as the cries turned frantic and I opened my eyes.

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