Tristan

When Damien started speaking, I felt my heart constrict in apprehension. It was finally happening. He was finally laying everything out in the open.

"It all started about two years ago," Damien said. "I was still a resident at the hospital then. Things were stressful and I barely got any free time. So on this one day the hospital was closed early due to a leak in one of the pipes. So a couple of us doctors decided to hit some clubs. Dark Fantasy was the third club we went to. I knew immediately that something was different about it. The other guys were all hammered by then but I was still sober. You know I don't drink much."

He paused to drink some water. "I put my drunk colleagues in an Uber and sent them home. Then I went back into the club. There was something really intriguing about it that attracted me. And that was the day it started. I trained as a Dom and was finally given my own playroom."

"And when exactly were you going to tell your best friend and roommate about this?"

Damien grimaced and looked at me guiltily. "Tristan please. I know I fucked up but it was not because I did not trust you or want to tell you. I felt terrible hiding something so huge from you. I only did it because I was afraid."

I frowned. "Afraid? Why? Did you think I was going to judge you ?"

"No it's not that," he said while shaking his head. "I knew that you would support me no matter what. I hid it because I did not want you to see me in a different light. I was afraid that if you knew about me being a Dom you would see me differently."

Well he is right there. I silently cursed my inner voice. I wanted to tell Damien that his reason was bullshit but how could I when I was really seeing him differently now! So I wisely kept my mouth shut.

"I care about you a lot Tris. You are the most important person in my life and my relationship with you is something I never want to jeopardise. I did not want you to know that I enjoy spanking guys till their butts are red or that I love being in control. That is a completely different side of me that even I didn't know existed. With you, I don't want to be a control freak and order you around. That is the only reason why I didn't tell you. I am not trying to justify my actions. I know what I did was wrong and a breach of the trust between us. I am just asking for your understanding and forgiveness."

Oh damn him, I thought as he looked at me with pleading eyes. I could feel my insides melting. It was impossible to resist those gorgeous eyes. But I had more questions.

"Who was that blond guy? You know the one that was kneeling beside you like a dog?"

"Oh that would be Alistair. He is a sub of course"

"Is he your sub?"

"Not at all. I have been with him a lot of times but we aren't anything exclusive. A Dom sub relationship is something that takes a lot of dedication, love, time and trust. I like Alistair but I definitely don't love him."

I couldn't help the rush of anger that spread through my veins like poison. I wanted to go find this Alistair and crucify him. Just the thought of someone else being so intimate with Damien made me so so mad.

We both remained silent after that. I didn't feel like talking and Damien seemed to be deep in thought. I was still internally fuming about this Alistair guy. It was a huge relief to hear that Damien wasn't serious about him. I didn't know what I would have done if he had been. Probably gone bat shit crazy.

"Why though," I asked on a whim.

Damien looked up confused. "Huh? Why what?"

"Why don't you love him? You like kinky shit and he is kinky and moderately good looking. So what's stopping you?"

He sighed and rubbed his forehead. "I don't know honestly. You are right. Theoretically he is perfect for me and suits my tastes. But I just don't feel anything special when I am with him. He doesn't make my heart beat faster or make me feel like I am the luckiest man in this world."

I smiled at him sadly. My heart bled for him. He looked so sorrowful and lonely sitting there with his head hung. I went near him and laid a hand on his thigh. He immediately put his hand over mine as if holding on for dear life.

I looked down at our hands. Mine were quite small in comparison to his and were covered completely by his. It made me feel protected and safe, like nothing could harm me while he was with me.

I laid my head on his shoulder and breathed in his scent. "It scares me sometimes you know. People say the right person is waiting for us but this is a big wide world. There are so many what ifs. And of course," I added softly. "You can't be sure that the person you love will love you back. If they do, then yay you found love. Now all those romcoms will finally make sense. But if they don't, it's going to be unspeakable agony for the rest of your life."

"Wow that's sufficiently morbid," Damien chuckled. "I cannot promise that you will find your Mr. Perfect but I can promise that no guy would be crazy enough to reject you. So you can stop worrying about that last part."

I almost snorted at the irony of his words. Here was the guy who was the cause of my insecurities reassuring me about them. But of course he didn't know the reason behind my fears. He was unaware of the fact that I was slowly but surely becoming convinced that my Mr. Perfect was none other him.

"Yeah I am such a catch," I said sarcastically. "An average looking male with annoyingly feminine hair and extreme social anxiety who is also the clumsiest person ever. Yep I can see why nobody would ever reject me."

I hadn't even finished speaking when I felt fingers beneath my chin. Damien lifted my face to meet my eyes.

"I disagree Tristan Cooper. I think you missed out on some very important points."

"Really? Well feel free to correct me then."

"Well for starters you didn't mention how that average looking guy has the most beautiful eyes in this whole world which can make anyone forget everything."

I blushed. I couldn't stop the heat spreading over my cheeks. This was probably the most romantic thing anyone had ever said to me.

"You also forgot to mention how that annoyingly feminine hair is too adorable to be put into words and makes him look an angel from heaven."

My insides tingled. I could feel every nerve and cell of my body waking up and lighting a fire inside me.

"You forgot how that guy in spite of having social anxiety is the best friend anyone could ever ask for. Not just that, you forgot to mention how he stands up for complete strangers even if it means putting himself in danger. "

The fire inside me was growing. From a mere flicker, it was now a raging flame.

"And that guy you are calling clumsy happens to be an excellent baker, a pretty good swimmer and the winner of almost all quizzes held in school."

The heat was almost unbearable now. I could feel the burn inside me. I wanted to scream and cry at the same time. Every part of me was alight with maddening desire. A desire for everything that I had ever wanted.

"So don't you dare describe Tristan Cooper as average because he is anything but. And if I was ever so lucky as to have him love me, I swear I would spend everyday showing him his worth."

It was as if his words were gasoline. The fire in me erupted into a vicious inferno that threatened to consume my entire being. And gods was the heat delicious. It seared my veins as it flooded them and pooled in my groin.

People say that desire and desperation can make us do the most unbelievable things. We can't think or see sense. All we know is that whirlwind of raw desire waiting to escape from the constraints of our body. It is painful to hold it in, impossible almost. It's too strong, too powerful to be stopped.

And so I let it be free.

I did an unbelievable thing.

I kissed my best friend.