Two days after the surgery, I feel better. The effects of the anesthesia have officially worn off, and my head no longer pounds. I'm still sore, and it'll take a while before my body is completely healed after the surgery. I remember from last time.

In a couple of days, I'll be discharged, sent home to heal for a month before treatment starts. How much radiation and possibly chemo I'll need depends on the results they get from pathology.

I have a lot of time to think about the worst-case scenarios, and a part of me is scared that I'll just have gotten Jayden's hopes up by suggesting that we move in together, and then tragedy will strike.

Because it would be a tragedy.

I see that now.

He and Jen come by several times a day. Jayden would be here round the clock if the hospital allowed it, but I'm glad they don't. He's already agreed with his coaches to cut down on training against my protests.

He needs to do well at nationals. It's what he's worked for since the Olympics last year, and I won't be the thing standing in his way.

"Hi," he says, appearing at my door. He looks good. All clean shaven and casual in a pair of jeans and a hoodie.

I sit up straighter at the sight of him, my heart starting to pound. Not because I'm nervous about seeing Jayden, but because of who I know he's bringing.

I've gone out of my way to make sure I don't look like a cancer patient right now. Luckily surgery has no effect on my hair growth, which might be the thing a thirteen-year-old would expect when they hear cancer.

"Hi, come on in," I say, dragging the blanket closer. It's a pink, frilly one that Jen has brought for me. One of hers, of course, but it makes the room less sterile, homier, and I'm hoping it'll put Ollie a bit at ease.

He walks in the door behind Jayden, his expression wary and cautious. I know Jayden has assured him that I'm fine, but Jayden isn't the only person who lost a parent in this building. Ollie has the right to be a little on guard.

"Hi, Ol," I say, smiling a little wider than normal, hoping to appear fresh and healthy. I even put on makeup - not a lot, just enough that I wouldn't look pale and sickly, like someone who's been hospitalized for a week.

"Hey, Soph," he says, slowly moving closer to me. On my other side, I can sense Jayden watching Ollie's every move, trying to gauge his reaction like he's a wild animal.

I pat the chair next to me. "Unfortunately, I won't get a cast like you," I say, making a face.

Ollie's lips tug slightly as he sits down. "Casts sucks. I couldn't shower without a plastic bag for a month."

I nod solemnly. "True. I won't have that issue."

I needed to sit down on a chair while I showered today because I didn't have the strength to stand up, but I won't mention that.

Ollie looks down at his hands, and I wait patiently. He glances around the room, his gaze roaming over my form on the bed like he's checking for signs of injury. How does sickness look when it doesn't come in the form of broken bones?

"Are you okay?" he asks quietly, still not looking me in the eye.

I mull it over for a moment. "Yeah. I'm a little sore after the surgery, but they did a good job. I'll barely even have scars." Most of the surgery was done vaginally again, like last time, but they went in laparoscopically to remove the lymph nodes, and that'll leave a few very small scars on my abdomen. "We won't know more for a few days, but I feel good."

He finally lifts his eyes to my face, and there's a haunted look there. "Could you die?"

Jayden makes a sound across from Ollie. It's strangled and throaty, and I can tell it wasn't on purpose, but I keep my focus on Ollie. He's too intelligent to be lied to. "Yes. The doctors say it's unlikely, but we can't know for sure yet." I wait as he swallows. "Does that scare you?"

He nods, looking away from me again, not before I catch sight of the tears pooling in his eyes. He angles his body away from Jayden, and I figure he's a bit embarrassed to show weakness in front of his big brother.

I'll talk to Jayden about it later, make sure he has a heart-to-heart with Ollie about his own fears, so Ollie knows that men can be vulnerable too, but right now, I need a moment with him.

I turn to my boyfriend, who's standing beside my bed like a guard. "Baby, would you mind getting me a glass of water?" I ask, making a gesture with my head and mouthing a request for him to give us a minute. He seems reluctant, but eventually, he sighs and agrees. He squeezes Ollie's shoulder on the way out.

When the door closes, I reach out for Ollie's hand. He looks at it for a moment and then slips his hand in. "Hey," I say, coaxing him to look at me. I smile when he does. "It's okay to be scared. I'm scared too."

"You are?" he asks, his eyes still wet.

"All the time. Being scared just means you have something to fight for, and I promise you, Ollie, I'll fight for you. For you and Jayden."

His eyes go to the door and then back to me, brows pulling together like he's in serious thought. "JJ says you want to move in together. That when he gets custody, we could all live together."

I nod, tilting my head. "Is that something you want? Because if not, I won't move in, Ollie."

A bit of red tints his cheeks as he glances away from me. "I think it would be nice."

This kid. My heart grows two sizes from that small show of affection.

"Me too." I squeeze his hand to get eye contact again. "How are things with the new foster family?"

Jayden's been so absorbed in me that I partly fear Ollie feels abandoned. He should never feel like we're not there for him one hundred percent.

He scratches his arm. "They're nice. It's okay..." He looks at the door like to check that Jayden hasn't come back, and then he turns to me, his voice dropping to a whisper. "I miss Toni."

My eyes pool. Ollie is too young to have so much placed on his shoulders. I nod, squeezing his hand again. "I understand. It's okay to miss her, you know. It's okay to be angry about the situation."

Ollie nods, running a hand through his hair in a movement that looks so much like his brother.

I give him a lopsided smile. "Can I get a hug?"

He looks hesitant, eyeing the different tubes and wires going in and out of me and surrounding the bed. "It's okay; these are just for show," I say, gesturing to the equipment around me. It's not entirely true, but Ollie smiles like he knows I'm joking.

He leans up, hooking his long, lanky arms around my neck. I pull him closer, resting my chin on his shoulder. "It'll all be okay, Ol," I say, keeping my voice firm. "I promise."

With a slight nod, I feel his tears hit my shoulder.

🏊‍♂️

Jayden drives Ollie back to the new foster family, then begrudgingly goes to afternoon practice before coming back right around the time the sun sets. Jen is already here, flipping through a magazine beside me, when there's a knock on the door.

Jayden's standing there, just as handsome as earlier, his knuckles rapping lightly against the wood. "Um," he says, shifting a bit. "So the guys were kinda worried about how much time I seemed to spend at the hospital, and well... Are you up for a few visitors?"

I tense automatically. We never discussed what Jayden should tell his teammates. Obviously, Davis knows, and I don't want Jayden to lie, but last time, my friends didn't deal with it well. And I didn't deal with it well. I don't want to cause strain on my new friendships.

Jen places her hand on my arm, silently assuring me that she's there. "What did you tell them?" I ask, my voice quiet.

"That you had a touch of cancer and needed surgery."

I hear the words he didn't say. Not about last time. Not about what it took from you.

I take a deep breath, nodding. He gives me a proud smile before gesturing to someone down the hall.

They fill into the room, loud and energizing, and it's contagious. Davis brought flowers, smiling at me before he move around to stand by Jen's chair. Far enough away that it's friendly but close enough that he could reach out and touch her.

I'm happy she has someone to help her through this, even if it is just as friends.

Mitch is all smiles as he looks me up and down. "And here I thought you were invincible." He gives me a big hug, clearly not afraid I might break, and while I see Jayden wince at how uncarefully he handles me, I find it refreshing.

"Whatever gives you the idea that I'm not?" I answer with a grin.

Saltz hovers a bit at the end of the bed, looking uncertain. In the end, he pats my foot.

Kimmy is here too. She leans in to kiss me on the cheek, squeezing my bicep affectionately. When she goes to stand by Mitch, a wicked gleam lights up her eyes. "Looking good, Sophie."

Mitch nods, placing an arm around Kimmy's shoulder. "Yeah, hottest cancer chick I know."

Jayden scowls at both of them. "How many times do I have to say it? No hitting on my girlfriend."

I scoot over a bit on the bed, so he can sit next to me, and I'm smiling, leaning my head against his shoulder.

"Yeah, yeah, we know, she's yours and all that," Kimmy says with an eye roll. She places a hand at the side of her mouth and speaks in a stage whisper. "Call me when the dick doesn't do the trick anymore."

Jayden throws a pillow after her.

There's a strange glow to the room as the four swimmers find chairs or windowsills to sit in, talking about their practices and asking me about my treatment. It's easy to be with them, to laugh at their jokes, and let their banter keep the mood light. For once, it doesn't feel like a cancer ward.

"So, we hear you're gonna make an honest man out of Sennels," Mitch says, leaning back in the chair, one ankle resting on the other knee.

I smile questionably, looking from him to Jayden. "I'm not sure what that means 'cause you're crazy if you think we're getting married."

One step at a time.

Mitch shrugs. "Okay, so like a... homey person? I don't know."

"We heard you're moving in together," Saltz supplies.

I gape playfully at Jayden. "We only just agreed on that two days ago."

"He's been trying to lock you down for ages, Brooks. Be happy he's not shouting it from the rooftops," Davis says. "He'd probably have proposed if he thought he could get away with it."

At that, Jayden jumps up. "Okay, I think that's it for this visit," he says, his eyes shooting daggers at his best friend.

Everybody but Jayden smiles, yet Jen stands up. "He's right; visiting hours are almost over." She leans down and presses a kiss to my cheek. "See you tomorrow, Soph."

The other hugs me, shouting goodbyes and shuffling out of the room in a big commotion.

Before they leave, Davis sends me a look, lifting an eyebrow. I nod at him with a conspiratorial smile. I don't think Jayden notices.

He's too busy staring at the ground, his face a little red. I smile to myself but decide not to dig into his embarrassment. Marriage is very far into the future.

"So there's probably something I should tell you," I say before he can make a move to leave too. We still have about fifteen minutes.

He looks up, brows drawn together, instantly concerned. I try telling him with my smile that this isn't a bad thing, but suddenly I'm nervous. I might have overstepped a little bit.

"So, Davis gave me the number of his agent," I say slowly.

Jayden makes a confused face, walking closer to my bed. "Are you going to try as a professional athlete? Like horse jumping or something?" he asks with a teasing smile.

I hit his arm. "Obviously not; Max is far too old for that." I take a deep breath. "I called him and set up a meeting."

His eyes narrow. "You called Benjamin Avery and asked for a meeting?" he asks, looking pretty skeptical. "Why? How?"

I smile a bit. "Oh, Jay, don't you know by now, I have my ways?" I trace the hem of the blanket draped over my waist, looking down at my hand. "He would like to meet you."

Jayden freezes beside me. "What?"

"Yeah." I look up at his face. "He said he'd wanted to reach out for a while, but word around the industry was that you were dealing with something in your personal life."

He nods solemnly. "Right, yeah, my goldfish died last week; it was very hard."

I hit him in the chest, scowling. Jayden falls seriously again. "Sophie, I can't go pro."

"Why not?" I ask defiantly.

"Because they would take my scholarship. And I can't really afford tuition, let alone rent and food."

I tilt my head thoughtfully. "Jayden, do you really care about finishing your degree? I mean, last summer, you were ready to walk away from it after the Olympics."

He scratches his brow. "Yeah, well, sure, but..." He trails off, seeming to think about it for a moment. "I guess I don't really care."

"If you do, I can probably help you out. A few months' tuitions shouldn't make too big a dent in my trust fund." A grin tugs at my lips.

"Who knew I was dating such a rich kid," Jayden says with a shake of his head.

"The southern belle thing didn't tip you off?"

He smiles, but his eyes are assessing me. "You think I should take the leap now? Not wait until after nationals?"

I wet my lips. "What do I know, Jayden? Until a few months ago, I didn't even know what discipline you competed in. I don't know this world, but do you know who does? Benjamin Avery and he wants you."

"He does?" Jayden sounds skeptical.

I nod. "Yeah, says he's had his eyes on you for a while. At sectionals and the Big Ten. You've been performing consistently good," I say, repeating the agent's words.

Apparently, Benjamin Avery is a big deal within the sports world, and he's already landed Davis.

"Since it got out that the four of you are competing at the medley relay at nationals, the agents are all frothing at the mouths. And he already has Davis. Mitch is represented, and Saltz is planning to stay in the NCAA... It's you they want."

He looks wholly unconvinced, maybe a little afraid to believe me.

"Okay, all I'm saying is, you should meet with the man. Listen to what he has to say. Let him court you. I know how you like that shit," I say, smirking, and his lips tug. "He already has lines out to interested sponsors. He thinks you could make pretty good money already before nationals."

Jayden blinks. "And he just told you all of this?"

I press my lips together, squinting my eyes a bit. "I might have told him that I was your assistant."

Jayden laughs, shaking his head. "Of course you did."

"Davis did most of the groundwork." I reach for his hand, and he steps closer, giving it to me. I look up at his eyes. "I know you've been waiting to do this until it was a sure thing, but maybe there is no such thing. Maybe you gotta take a chance."

It sounds like something Mallory would tell me. Actually, I'm pretty sure she's said almost those exact words to me. Dammit, maybe she's rubbing off on me.

Jayden looks at our hands, his eyes still a bit unsure. "Sophie, you're supposed to be healing, not making shady business deals."

"Do you have any idea how boring a hospital is?" I deadpan. "I'm going stir crazy!" I grasp his hands tighter, evading his eyes. "Besides... I know that the worst is over for you, but it isn't for me."

I'm still scared out of my mind. Last time the surgery pulled the rug out from under my life, flipped the whole world upside down, and had me rethinking everything. But it was the radiation that made me feel like I was dying. That made me wish I would die.

I still have that to come, and it's as scary now as it was three years ago.

Jayden seems to understand, cupping my cheek. "Okay... When's the meeting?"

"In two days, at the hotel. He's buying you lunch."

He seems to mull it over. "Do you think I can do this?"

I pull him down for a kiss. "I think you could do anything, Jay."

A/N:
Aww, these two 🥺

A few of you have made vague threats in case this doesn't have a HEA. So just to put you at ease, all my romance novels will have happily ever afters 🥰

Life update: I moved today! It's been a really stressful day - why did no one tell me how hard it is to adult on your own? 🙄 But I'm excited about this place, and I love my new view 🙌

Four chapters to go! 👌

- Hanna 💙