Deadly Doubts

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As Alex walked away with Anna, I sighed contently. When I look back, I realize that signing a contract was sort of going on a blind date. It was risky, and sometimes I kick myself. What if Alex was not a good person? What if he hurt me or worse forced me into something horrible? What would have I done? Thank God it wasn't anything like that. As I watched his vanishing back, someone tapped on my shoulder. I turned around and my blood turned to ice. This can't be!

"So you are his fiancé?" Regina's eyes narrowed as she scrutinized me from top to bottom.

"Hi Regina." I said calmly, though my mind was anything but that.

"Don't you dare say my name. I know the likes of you." She spoke through clenched teeth.

"What do you mean?" My face was growing hot and I could already sense things going downhill.

"What do I mean? How much are you charging him? Are you charging him by the hour or every time he fucks you? Whore!" I recoiled as she spewed venom through her words. The words stung me hard.

"How dare you?" I was enraged. I didn't want to raise my voice and bring attention to us but I was furious. I was also scared.

"How dare I? Ha! I knew he was screwing you when I came to the office. Why will he refuse me otherwise? You are not even in comparison with me. You sordid bitch!" She was also furious but the point stuck with me that he didn't engage with her when she came to the office. What he said was true. Not that I doubted him. Before I could open my mouth to retort, an arm held my waist and I felt the warmth.

"Careful Regina. I don't appreciate you talking to my fiancé like this." Alex was by my side. His eyes bored into her and his lips were pressed as a thin line. His features were hard and unreadable however his voice was very controlled and calm.

"You chose her over me? I can't believe you did that Alex!" Regina was outraged.

"I chose love over lust Regina." Alex replied as if it was the obvious choice.

"If she says that she is in love with you then she is just pretending. She is making a fool out of you. All she needs is your money." She spat at me. I took a step back but Alex held me at my place.

"Is it the same as you did?" He raised his brows and asked her calmly.

"We have a history." She hissed. I could see she was fighting a lost battle.

"That's right Regina. It's history." He replied.

"How dare you Alex! I was ready for anything, I needed you." Her tone was pleading.

"No Regina. What you needed was an assurance of the future. If not me, you will find someone else. There are many with money" Alex was so calm that I wondered if he was ready for such a situation to come up. Maybe he was. This again brought questions on my preparedness. This was something that I should have anticipated but I didn't.

"So you chose her? Ha! Are you telling me that you chose her because she loves you?" She wasn't ready to let it go.

"No. I am saying that I chose her because I love her." He bent and kissed me on my forehead. I closed my eyes. Thank God he was here to take care of this situation.

"Ho Ho Ho! Look at these two love birds, marrying out of Loooooooooooove." The way she said 'love' made me squirm. "Once boss-PA turned couple. One minute she was setting files in your cabinet, next minute, cupid's arrow hit you both. Just like in movies, huh, whirlwind romance? Save your lies for someone with zero common sense!" She was furious.

"I believe this conversation is over. I hope you know which way the exit is." With that, Alex pulled me away. We reached our bedroom and he ushered me in. I was shaking though I couldn't pinpoint the exact reason. I was angry, I was hurt and I was sad. Wasn't this exactly something that I was afraid of?

"Amy! Are you okay?" He turned me so that I face him. His voice was very soft. Such a contrast to the ice-cold talk he had minutes before.

"Yes and No" I mumbled. "I should have expected this so, I'm okay but the savagery of it caught me off guard. Didn't I tell you that people will think and talk rubbish about me?" My eyes welled up and my throat choked.

"Amy! Please listen to me. There will be many who will try to pull you down. That is only because they are way below you." He cupped my face and I looked at him.

"What if you were not present at the right moment?" I asked.

"I will always be there for you. No matter what." He said with a lot of conviction but I know that isn't true. The relationship which started with a contract could never go on forever. Then how will he be there for me always?

"Why didn't you propose to Regina. It seems you both were in perfect sync." I wanted to know.

"I already told you the reason, Amy. There is nothing between us." I could feel that he was not happy with the question. He un-cupped my face and his hands went back to his pockets.

"There was at least lust. With us its neither love nor lust" I wasn't looking at him as I spoke the words but they were true, weren't they? He didn't say anything and after a lifetime when I looked at him he responded.

"You should freshen up and I'll wait for you downstairs for dinner." With that, he left the room. I flopped on the bed. Why did I complicate my life so much? It was such a simple life with office, home, and friends. I can't even blame someone else for the chaos I created in my life. I was given such a clear choice and I chose this.

My mind went to his answers today. What did he mean when he said that he loves me? Does he love me? No, I couldn't ask him that. Didn't he say something about acting as if we are in deep love in front of others?

When he uttered those words before Regina, didn't I want them to be true? Was it acting? Will I be able to act like that, before others, after what has happened now? I wished to run away from all this, only if I could.

With a sigh, I got up from the bed and went to the washroom to freshen up. My face looked flushed. No wonder, I felt drained, as if I just came out of a war room.

Game face on Amy!

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