Depression

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Song: Damage/ Fit For Rival

WARNING⚠️: Mention of suicidal thoughts and actions

You and Dipper's Age: 16

~•~3rd POV~•~

Wednesday, February 25th. That was the day you were sent to a therapy hospital. Many things were on your mind before then, thoughts about certain things...

Your family became concerned for you. Your sister had found you on the bathroom floor, drowning in your own puddle of blood. You were rushed to a hospital after. Everything was a blur up until now. You remember your eyes fluttering open to bright hospital lights.

Since the day you woke up from the hospital, you had stayed there a few nights, resting. You were eventually sent to Falls Therapy Hospital. The first day there was rough, having to abandon your family and friends for a few weeks. Apparently only your parents were allowed to visit you. Siblings over the age of 16 were able to visit too, but your little sister wasn't old enough. She's only 14. You hated yourself for making her be the one that found you that night. It probably was a terrible sight to see.

Some other kids that were sent by their parents to the therapy hospital were talking among each other. Smiling, laughing, sharing their stories. They all seemed so happy. How can they be? They're in a fucking hospital. You sat in a chair far away from the groups of kids. Your hoodie was pulled over your head, covering your pale face.

While sulking to yourself, you felt someone sit down next to you. Your head snapped up, looking over to your left. A boy around your age was sitting next to you. He had the same expression on his face as you did. He was wearing a dark blue sweater with the Big Dipper on it. He had a brown mop of hair on his head, his eyes also the same shade.

He noticed you looking at him, so he turned his head to the right. You two met each other's eyes, causing both your cheeks to go red and quickly look away from one another; Even if you two did keep stealing glances at each other.

To break the awkward silence, you spoke up, "So... what brings you here?" You asked awkwardly, looking over at him again.

He looked over at you again, "Oh, you know. Anxiety, depression, suicidal thoughts, the usual." He sighed, running a hand through his hair.

"I get it. I have those too." You said, giving him a sad smile.

He tilted his head slightly at you, a curious look on his face, "Really?"

"Well, yeah. I'm pretty sure most of us here do too."

"So you'd say you also have athazagoraphobia, autophobia, and atychipobia like me?" He asked, raising an eyebrow.

You didn't respond, looking away from him. From the corner of your eye you can see the ping of guilt that hit him for sounding kind of rude.

"I'm sorry. I didn't mean to say it like that. I... also have an anger issue called petrified anger, which causes me to sound rude sometimes." He sighed again.

"You don't have to apologize. I understand." You said, "What are those phobias that you have anyways?"

"Athazagoraphobia is when you have the fear of being forgotten.  Autophobia is the fear of being alone. Atychipobia is to fear failure. And the petrified anger is when someone has a hard time forgiving and forgetting..." He said, sounding like he knows it by heart, "Most of my phobias and issues started after a tragic event three years ago."

"What happened?"

He tensed up slightly at my words, a pained look in his eyes. A look of regret washed over your face this time for asking him, "I-I'm sorry. I shouldn't have asked."

"It's fine, you didn't know anyways." He said.

There was some silence for a few minutes after. Usually you wouldn't talk to a random boy that you didn't know. But for some reason, something about this certain boy seemed different then other guys you've ever talked to. For once in your life, you had the same problems as somebody else. Meaning you weren't alone in this small world after all.

"I'm Dipper, by the way. Dipper Pines." His voice broke you out of your thoughts, which caused you to jump slightly.

"Oh, I'm (Y/n) (L/n)." You said.

You both held your hands out to shake, but they ended up being the same hand. You went to switch hands, but he had decided to switch his hand too at the same time. You both blushed, and instead of shaking hands, you both made a fist, bumping them together. You both let out a soft chuckle, "I guess I'm not the only one here that's awkward too." Dipper said. You laughed again at his joke, nodding.

This was the first time in awhile you felt happy.

~•~•~

Later on during the day, you were assigned a schedule on what to do during the day. You were even signed a room with a roommate. Every night, when going to bed, the staff would lock your doors to make sure you stay in your rooms. You were able to request someone to be your roommate, so when you went up to the staff to request Dipper —obviously— she told you that someone had already requested to be your roommate.

This caused you to worry slightly. Yes, it could have been Dipper too that requested you, but what if it was someone else? What if they had no one else to stay with and they didn't want anybody that was annoying so they choose you, the outcast? Questions like this kept running through your head when you made your way towards your hospital room. The staff had already set everything for you in your room, the main thing being just your clothes since you technically couldn't bring anything else.

A dark expression was on your face for most of the day, your hoodie covering your head giving you an obscured look, which caused a lot of the kids at the hospital to stay away from you. You were used to it. It's basically like high school all over again, which is one of the major reasons to why you're at this joint in this first place. The only time you didn't look depressed was when you were with Dipper. He was basically the only one here who was able to put a smile on your face or make you laugh. Plus he probably has the most common sense here than any other airhead here.

Approaching your room, your hand rested on the knob of the door. You took in a breath, physically and mentally preparing yourself. You twisted the knob and pushed the door open. Once getting a glimpse at your roommate that was already sitting on their bed, a smile spread across your face.

"Oh, Dipper? You're my roommate?"

~•~•~

You and Dipper were both sitting on his bed, both your legs crossed. You had been talking to one another for a couple of hours now, since you two both couldn't have your phones.

"You really did request to have me as your roommate? Why?" You asked, chuckling slightly.

Dipper scratched the back of his neck, his arm muscles slightly noticeable under the dark blue sweater, "I don't know, I thought we could be friends, or that we already were?"

You tilted your head slightly, a small smile on your face, "Yeah, I'd love to be friends. I haven't heard myself say that in a long time." You admitted.

"What'd you mean?"

"Well-" You began, looking down at your hands, "-I never really had any friends in my life. They all drifted away from me, which caused me to become depressed. Most of my friends left me too even after seeing me become more and more depressed. I've always thought that I was on my own."

Hesitatingly, your hands raised up to your hoodie. You gripped the sides of the hoodie on top of your head, and before pulling it down, you sighed. Slowly pulling it down, you revealed your very short (H/c), "And from all of this stress and depression crap... It caused me to want to cut my hair... myself." You said (A/n: Sorry if you already have short hair).

Dipper stared at your hair, a curious look on his face, "But... that's not all." You said. You slowly reached down grabbed the sleeve of your hoodie, pulling it up. Scar lines were stacked one after the other on your wrist to the middle of your arm, "These were recent, and were also the cause for me going to the emergency room."

Dipper was silently examining your arm, his eyes looking at ever single scar. His eyes met your eyes. "Hey, you're not alone on this."

"I'm not?" You asked, rolling your sleeve back down.

"Of course." Dipper said. This time, he grabbed the sleeve of his sweater and rolled it up. There, were several, deep scars, "Why do you think I asked my sister to make this sweater for me? I had to hide the evidence somehow."

You gave him a small, sad smile, "I guess we both think the same way..."

There was some silence for a few moments, "But hey, um, I-I like your hair short. It looks cool." Dipper spoke up, a blush appearing on his cheeks.

You laughed softly and quietly, a blush appearing on your face as well, "Thanks..."

~•~•~

Weeks have gone by since the day you arrived at this therapy hospital, and you've gotta admit, you felt the happiest you've ever felt in your life. And it was all because of Dipper.

He was the reason you woke up the next morning with a smile on your face, he was the reason you even talked and laughed with other people, he was your reason worth living now. And he felt the same way about you. The two of you had become very close to each other, so close that you'd even both hold hands with each other walking down the hospital hallway or even sleep in the same hospital bed— in a friend way, obviously.

You were convinced that you had a crush on Dipper, and your feelings were strong. But you weren't entirely sure about his feelings. But let's just say that his whole mood would change when you were talking to another guy.

And once again, he was in one of those moods again. You two had just arrived back to your room from the dinner the staff had gotten everyone. There was a small TV in your room, but most of the shows were stupid drama shows, in English or Spanish. You and Dipper liked to watch the Spanish versions cause then you get to reenact what you two think they're saying, or just use your imagination.

You were both laying on your bed, since the TV was closest to your bed. Since you've gotten back from dinner — which you were indeed talking to some guys — Dipper had his arm around you, pulling you into him in a tight grip. He had a slightly angered look on his face, like what a bodyguard would look trying to stand guard with a celebrity. You head your head resting on his shoulder.

Every once in awhile his grip would tighten more around you, and when he'd hear a noise outside of your guy's room he send a sharp glare at the door. You sighed, slightly lifting your head up to look at him, "Dipper, are you alright?"

He looked at you, his expression softening when meeting your pale (E/c) eyes, "Yeah, why would you ask?"

"Cause you seem like you're on edge. And you have been acting like this for the past few weeks now." You said.

"Yeah, I'm fine." He said, tightening his grip around you. There was slight anger in this tone, which threw you off.

"Nah uh. I know by now that if something's on your mind you give everyone an attitude. Just tell me, you know you can trust me." You said.

"It's not that-- I know I can tell you everything and I've already have, it's just... this one time I actually can't tell you." He said, still angered, "That's why I sound angry."

"Why can't you tell me?"

"It's just-- it's complicated! I'm sorry!" He snapped, pulling his arm away from you.

You sat up, away from Dipper. You raised an eyebrow at him, "So, what're saying is-- you want to tell me this 'problem' but... you can't?"

"...Yes."

You gave him another look, not buying any of this bullshit, "Fine, if you can't tell me, I'm gonna have to ask you to go back to your bed then. I won't talk to you until you tell me." You said, an evil smirk on your face.

He blinked at you with shock for a moment, before a pissed off look washed over his face. He growled to himself, pulling at his hair, "You can't do that! I get so bored and lonely when I don't talk to you!"

"Than just tell me your problem then?"

"I-I can't!"

"Than I guess you can't talk to me. Excuse me while I go out and get myself a snack from the nurse." You said, slowly getting up from the bed.

"No! Wait! Don't leave me!" Dipper said, a panicked tone in his voice.

You flinched slightly from his tone. It may be cruel for you to use one of his phobias against him to get an answer out of him. What else were you going to do? Make a deal with a dream demon to get you your information?

You turned your head around to look at him, "Yes?"

His mouth opened to speak, but words wouldn't work for him. Instead, he shut his mouth closed, and you noticed he started to shake slightly. He covered his hands over his face, bringing his knees up to his chest. That's when you started to panic.

You quickly ran over to Dipper, jumping onto the bed next to him. You pulled him into an embrace tightly, patting the back of his head, "I'm sorry! I'm sorry I shouldn't have done that to you! I know how you get when you get left alone... I'm an idiot! You probably don't even want to tell me what you're thinking and you probably hate me right now and don't want me hugging you. I'm so sorry!" You said in the tight embrace, "I promise I'll never say that again to you and you deserve to have every right to be mad at-"

You heard Dipper growl in frustration while dropping his hands from his face. Before you say or do anything, Dipper grabbed your cheeks and smashed his lips onto yours. You sucked in a breath through your nose, eyes widening and cheeks going red. You ended up kissing back, your eyes fluttering shut. Dipper slowly pulled away from you, the two of you catching your breaths.

Dipper's eyes widened at the realization, and he jerked away from you, "I'm-- I'm sorry! I-I didn't mean to-- well, I did, but I didn't even ask if you-"

You placed a hand over his mouth, making his word muffled. You giggled quietly at him, making his cheeks go redder then they already were, "Calm down, Dipper. It's alright. If you were going to ask me if I wanted to kiss you, I would have said yes."

Relief washed over Dipper's face, your hand still over his mouth. He grabbed your wrist, moving your hand away to speak, "That wasn't necessary to cover my mouth."

"If I didn't you would have kept on rambling."

Dipper chuckled lightly, running a hand through his hair. The two of you made eye contact with each other again. Dipper reached down to grab your hands, "Well, since that moment before was the cause of my anger issues, I want to properly ask you this question-- will you do me the honor and be my girlfriend?" He asked, a small shyly smile appearing on his face.

Your smile on your face grew ten times more the  before, as you responded with a chuckle, "Of course."

______________________

I'm not sure if I've done a one-shot like this before but I thought it was a cute idea.

But guys

gUys

Phil fucking Lester commented on my wall and nOtIcEd mE i haven't stopped crying since i last saw this i'm sh00k

Anyways guys, I hope you guys enjoyed this!

Plus St. Patrick's Day one shot is coming out tmrw!

Love y'all! ❤️

~gianna_northwest

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