Chapter 8- I woke up to Alex’s quiet breathing, he was looking at me and he pushed the blonde strand out of my face. I smiled at him and he kissed my forehead like he always did in the morning. “Morning Babe.” I sighed. “Morning.” I mumbled and stumbled out of bed. I grabbed my bag and walked awkwardly down the hallway to the bathroom. I shut the door behind me. I swiftly changed out of my clothes and into clean ones. I brushed my long blonde hair and twisted it into a ponytail. I pulled my shirt down and slipped into a pair of worn out jeans. I heard a knock on the door as I fastened the button. “Claire!” I heard Alex’s whiny voice from the other side of the door. I sighed and gathered my things in my arms. I opened the door and let him in. He started brushing his teeth as I was shutting the door. I shook my head as I walked back down the hallway to his room. I made his bed and tidied the room up a little bit. I pushed the short hair out of my face that wouldn’t stay in the ponytail. Alex walked in as soon as I was done and kissed my cheek. He smelled like deodorant and aftershave and I smiled. He laughed and helped me down the stairs. It was a Sunday. Two weeks of school left and it would be summer. We had decided to go on a vacation together, and I still hadn’t told my mom. She wouldn’t care, I wasn’t ever home anyway. I couldn’t believe it had been six months already. He shook his head as I smiled wryly at him. We’re not going anywhere today. I frowned. “How did you know?” I giggled. He shook his head. “Can’t we just stay home? You always want to go somewhere. The gas prices are killing me.” he complained. I sighed. “Please?” I asked him, looking up sorrowfully. He sighed again. “No.” he said without looking at me. I looked down fine. I crawled onto the bed and buried my face in the pillow. He came over and lied his hand on my back. I looked up at him with a pouty expression. “Don’t do that.” He looked puzzled. “Do what?” I stuck my tongue out at him. “Distract me. I look at you and I can’t be mad anymore.” His hand moved from the middle of my back to my neck. He bent down and whispered in my ear. “I love you.” I couldn’t help but smile in the safety of the pillow. I mumbled. He pulled the pillow out from under me and I looked up at him. “Rawr.” I said pouting. He kissed my lips again. “Roar.” he responded and I buried my face in my arms. I wanted to be mad at him, but something told me I couldn’t. I knew I wouldn’t be able to stay mad at him for long anyway. He was everything to me, and he knew it. I felt like a broken record, repeating the same thing over and over again in my head. His smile froze me. His eyes shimmered with the small florescent light that was shining down from the ceiling. He leaned down and pressed his lips against my neck. It sent a shiver down my spine and I tried my hardest not to let him see that. My eyes reflected in his as we stared into each others. “Am I forgiven?” he asked, not separating his gaze from mine. I nodded my head, afraid to speak. Knowing that the words would come out in a huge blur. I just nodded my head and he kissed me again. I felt myself grow red again as his hand gently pushed the hair out of my eyes. His lips pressed coldly against mine. I kissed back even though I won’t admit it to him. I mouthed ‘I love you’ because I couldn’t get the sound out. He kissed my lips and shushed me, knowing I wouldn’t be able to speak. We lied on his bed like this for a while. I didn’t want to move. I didn’t want to leave. I didn’t want to do anything but lie here for an eternity. I rose off the bed and walked slowly to the door. My car was out front. I got outside without Alex following me. I looked up at his bedroom window. He was watching me, with the curtains pushed out of the way. Even from outside I could see the color of his eyes. His glittering eyes. The color wasn’t as brightening as it was when I was with him. I waved and opened the back seat of my car. I threw my duffel in and slammed the door without looking up at him again. He waved back slyly as I was pulling away. I needed to be alone for a while. I needed to go back to reality instead of living in my fairy tale world. I needed to socialize with someone other than Alex. That was the day I met up with Casey. I went in to my old town even though my mother had “forbid” it. I didn’t feel at all rebellious. I drove by my old house that had a sign saying “sold.” I didn’t remember my mother even putting it up for sale. I didn’t expect there to still be a sign after how ever long. I didn’t care. I drove around for a while, waving to my friends that I saw here and there. I pulled over as Casey waved me off the road. I rolled down the window and he poked his head into my car. “Hi.” I said looking up at him. He smiled and pecked my forehead. “Hows the new town?” He asked fidgeting. His hands were twiddling and he constantly shifted his weight from his left foot to his right foot. He wouldn’t stand still for more than a few seconds. I hadn’t ever seen him like this. I invited him to go for a drive with me. He got in and I took off. I drove around town for a while and we talked about the new people I had met and the new things in his life. He was single again. Since I’d left actually. He hadn’t drank since I left. It seemed as if he were a completely different person. Maybe I was the one that had changed dramatically. I knew I was different. I didn’t really care because I liked being with Alex. He was the one I had changed for and he liked the way I was. I would do anything to make him happy, and I knew that. I knew if the only way he would be happy was if I was dead, I wouldn’t give it a second thought. “Where have you been for so long? We all missed you.” Casey interrupted my thoughts. “With my boyfriend.” I responded watching to road carefully. I saw him nod out of the side of my eye. “Yeah, I figured someone would catch your eye. Thats a pretty.. nice school. With.. interesting people.” I had no idea what he was talking about. I really didn’t care. “Mhm..” I mumbled staring out the windshield trying to avoid hitting a child running across the street. “Just be careful.” He said and I pulled over. “What?” I asked confused. What could be so dangerous that even Casey worried about me? I didn’t know what else to say until he had explained. He shrugged. “Just be careful about the people that you hang out with I guess.” He shrugged again. I nodded. I would be careful. There wasn’t any weird people at my school. Not that I knew of anyway. Even if there was, I didn’t hang out with them. The only people I ever saw out of school to do something was Vicky and Alex. I was stuck deep in thought and I noticed that Casey was trying to get my attention. “Hmm?” i asked, looking over to him. “Are you okay?” He sounded as if he were repeating it. “I”m fine. Just daydreaming a bit.” He nodded. “You sure have changed a lot Claire.” I looked at him puzzled. “Just look at yourself, your dressing as if you were a rebel. You used to be just a prep.” I remembered the days when I would be with the “popular” group. Be surrounded by my fellow preps. I looked down at my ACDC T-shirt and ragged jeans. They had rips in the knees and they were skinny at the bottom. I dressed according to Alex’s lifestyle. “Preps aren’t people.” I said, staring out the side of my window to a house we had pulled over in front of. He snickered. “So you weren’t a person?” He asked laughing. “Sure wasn’t a life.” I replied making him stop completely. He nodded. “I know.” He looked out the opposite window. “My life was full of pain and I didn’t even know it.” I went on. “When I realized that you never cared. That was when I really understood that I was living a lie. I didn’t belong in this town. Not even Corey could have kept me from falling in love with...” I lost my voice while saying ‘Alex.” Casey looked up at me. “Who?” He asked questioning me. “Alex.” I replied quietly. He nodded. “I’ve heard of him.” He said and I was confused. What kind of gossip could have gone around about Alex? “Stop spreading gossip.” I said pulling out, intending to go to Casey’s house and forcing him out of the car. We got there quickly. “I’m not.” He finally answered. Noticing that we were in front of his house. “Get out.” I said and he did as he was told. He waved solemnly. I glared back at him and pulled out fast after locking the doors so he couldn’t change his mind. I thought about going to Alex’s house and I thought about going home but I really didn’t want to face Alex, or my mother for that matter. I just drove. Thinking about the things that I really didn’t want to. If Alex was supposed to be in my life or if I just wanted him there. I didn’t think I just wanted him. Maybe he wanted me but we weren’t supposed to be with each other. When I was with him all I could feel was magic, but when I was away from him and was thinking of him I could feel nothing but fear. Fear as if I wasn’t supposed to be with him. That I needed to get out while I could still bring myself to resist. I knew it was too dangerous. I didn’t know why it was dangerous though. I couldn’t understand that part. He was so perfect. Maybe that was the reason I needed to get away from him. I didn’t know. Maybe I wouldn’t. The fear that was lingering in my presence, was overwhelming. I decided that I was going to live a week without Alex and see how my life was. Maybe it would be good, maybe it would be bad. I would go away, a road-trip. Stay in a hotel somewhere. Meet some new friends somewhere I could wait until summer though. I didn’t want to miss school especially since there was only 7 days left of school. Our life would change dramatically. I knew that. I was ready for it. He seemed to be ready for anything. Anytime. I would throw something at him sometime. I would see his reaction. I was going to wait until I saw how my life was without him. If it was okay, maybe I would just stay somewhere else until school started again. I was going to try to listen to my conscious. The feeling in the gut of my stomach was getting smaller as I was listening to my brain for once. But my heart was saying a completely different thing. Or was it? Maybe he had taken over my heart and thats why I couldn’t resist him. Thats insane, people can’t do that. I remembered Casey’s words. ‘Just be careful.’ I would be careful. But I wouldn’t be away from Alex. I couldn’t be away from Alex. I knew that. I would rather die, than be torn apart from him. I yearned for his arm around e again. I went home. Well, to his house, mostly my home. I parked silently and snuck into the house. I went into the living room to see him on the couch, watching a movie. I didn’t mind the T.V. and walked over to Alex. He put his arm around me. “I thought you wanted to go somewhere.” he said not taking his eyes away from the T.V. I nodded. “I did go somewhere, silly.” He looked down at his watch. I had been gone three hours. “But I missed you so much.” I said after he turned his gaze toward me. I kissed him again. His arm was squeezing me tighter toward him. I yawned. “I’m still tired.” I managed to giggle out. He laughed. “Sleep then.” He held me and cradled me next to his chest. I fell asleep almost instantly. I woke up in his room after light had disappeared from the sky. I looked at the bedside table I had gotten for him, and it held a clock. It was 2. “Morning.” I whispered toward Alex. He didn’t move as I got up. He stirred quietly and I got out of reach of the bed. I knew I wouldn’t be able to sleep, so I thought I might as well get ready for school. I changed my clothes and threw the dirty ones in his hamper. I went to the small bathroom down the hall and then decided that I wanted to take a shower. I heated the water and stood in the hot water pouring down on me. When I was done, I changed back into my clothes, and dried my hair. I started doing my makeup and heard Alex stir suddenly from down the hall. I was careful to be quiet as I checked the time. It was almost four. I was going to be bored soon. I finished grooming myself and went down the stairs carefully, one step at a time. I sat on the sofa and fumbled with the remote for a minute, trying to decide whether to turn the T.V. on or not. I decided not to. I sat there in the dark fidgeting silently. I thought about school.I didn’t have to go. But then again, summer was only a few days away. I couldn’t wait. I lied there in the darkness for a while and finally I heard Alex stumbling down the stairs. “Claire?” He called quietly, sleepily. “Yes?” I responded and he looked down at the place I had been sitting after turning the light on. “Can’t you sleep?” He asked. His eyes filled with drowsiness. I shook my head and smiled up at him. “You better get back to sleep, you have to get up in about ten minutes.” I pointed at the clock next to me. It was 5:10. He moaned. “I’ll be back in a minute.” He said, rushing up the stairs I heard him turning the water on in the bathroom. I sat on the couch and waited impatiently for him. He finally came bursting down the stairs. I almost jumped hearing the sudden clatter of him dropping everything down the stairs. I heard him mumble a cuss word and jumble down the stairs and collect everything he had dropped. I laughed, and he turned around to shoot me a ‘Stop’ type of glance. I couldn’t stop giggling though. I tried to keep it quiet. He finally gave up and swept everything off to the side and came mumbling toward me. He sat down on the couch next to me. I put my arm around him and kissed him again. He smiled again and I giggled. He did the same to me and I blushed. He laughed then. I shook my head at him. He smiled. It was about time for us to leave the house. 7. I went outside and got into his car and idled it. He finally came out and started toward the path we normally took to school. I leaned the seat back. I fell asleep on the way to school but woke up automatically when the rumbling vibration stopped suddenly. We were in front of the school. I looked out the window at all of my classmates dwindling waiting for their friends. I got out, pretty much ignoring Alex. I walked up to Vicky, she was turned the other way though. I put my hands around her eyes. “Guess who!” I said jokingly, uncovering her eyes. She turned around and hugged me. “Claire!” I giggled. “How did you know?” I said laughing. Alex walked up to me and grabbed my hand but I shook it off. I didn’t want Vicky to feel left out, which she normally did when it was just me, her, and Alex. I normally didn’t really care, but recently, I noticed that I was just being selfish. I had a couple more girlfriends that hung out with me and Vicky every once in a while that walked up to us. Hannah, and Mackenzie. They were identical twins, but much more different that just that. I was better friends with Hannah because ‘Kenzie was meaner and more of a prep. Hannah sat with us at lunch where it was normally just us three. Alex would normally sit with his guy friends. I didn’t really mind that much, I liked having a little bit of girl time. I was going to miss Vicky this summer. We promised each other to hang out, but we both knew that the promises were going to be broken. I was going to be with Alex and she was going to be with her other girlfriends, since she wasn’t dating anymore. I didn’t mind it as much as I thought she would. But she had plenty of other friends. At lunch, the table was quieter than it had ever been. Normally Vicky and Hannah would start with the usual gossip and I would finally join them with some ridiculous rumor I had heard. Finally Vicky broke the silence. “So what are you doing the first week of summer?” She asked, directing the question at me. I shrugged. “I’m not completely sure yet.” She nodded. “Maybe you want to go with me, Hannah, Kenzie, and some other girls to Alyssa’s parents’ beachouse?” She asked looking at me. Hannah peered up shyly. I could tell from their eyes that they really wanted me to go. “I won’t be much fun.” I warned them. Hannah nodded. “Awww please Claire?” Vicky asked grabbing my arm. “It won’t be any fun for us if you aren’t there.” I sighed. “Okay. I’ll go.” I gave in too easily. Vicky shrieked with excitement. I smiled. I knew that Alex wasn’t going to be very happy with me. I didn’t really care on the other hand. I didn’t get to be with my other friends very often. After school, Alex was waiting in his car for me, glaring out the window. “What?” I asked when I had tossed my backpack in the backseat and slid into the passenger seat. “I don’t want you going.” He shook his head. “What?” I asked looking at him, confused at first. Then I nodded. “I knew you wouldn’t. I’m going though. I don’t care what you say. I’m going. I’ll drive myself and I’ll be fine.” He shook his head. “I don’t like you being away from me so long.” He finally stated. “A week?” I asked, puzzled. He nodded and kissed my forehead. “Too long.” I shook my head. “I’m going.” I announced when we got to his house. He sighed, “There is no reasoning with you is there?” I laughed and shook my head. He nodded. “Okay. Go then. I’ll just see you when you get back.” I sighed. “Okay.” I said I got into my car. “I’ll see you later, I’m going to get more clothes.” I looked at him and he nodded. I got into my car and faked a smile. “Bye.” I said and he waved. As soon as he couldn’t see my expression, I let it fade into a frown. I got to my house soon after and gathered clothes. I shoved them into another bag and quickly zipped it up. The zipper caught on a shirt and I mumbled a cuss word. I walked out into the hallway and gave Kelly a hug. She was sitting in the middle of the hallway. “Where are you going?” She asked. “Remember Alex?” I asked her. She nodded. “I’m going to his house.” She smiled. “Why?” I laughed. “Goodbye Kelly.” She walked down the hall to her room. I had enough clothes until the end of school, and then I would come back and pack for the beach house. I would be with Vicky and Alex each half of the summer. Then I would be in my last year of school. I didn’t know what the future was going to bring me. And honestly, I didn’t care anymore.