It's been two weeks since Mattheo left me in the bathroom not saying a word to me after our fight.
I haven't seen him no one really has.
He hasn't been to any classes the only time I saw him was when he had dinner but even then he sat by himself and left early.
The group didn't understand why he was keeping to himself .
They tried talking to him.
But Mattheo just said he needed to be alone for a while.

I finished the last touches of our project by myself.
I handed them in to Slughorn. We were now waiting for our grade.

I was leaning against the wall in the hallway outside the great hall.
Just staring at everyone going in for dinner.
A group of Griffindoor boys were crowded outside the door chatting.
That's when Mattheo walked past to try get into the hall.
One of the boys blocked Mattheo from going in the hall laughing in his face.
"Why so lonely Riddle?" The boy laughed .
Mattheo stayed silent and tried to push past but their was just too many of them.

"Sorry Riddle no death eaters in the hall on Friday's" Another boy smirked as he pushed Mattheo forward into his friend .
I knew the rumours everyone thought that because Mattheo was now hanging out by himself that he finally got the dark mark and was maybe set a task.
It wasn't a massive leap considering who Riddles father is.
"Get the fuck out my way" Mattheo said pushing the boy infront of him .
"Oooohhooh ok" the boy laughed as he put his hands up in surrender.
That's when the boy behind Theo grabbed him and flung him back.

"Hey let go of him!" I say running over as a crowd grew.
I couldn't get past as some of the Griffindoor boys were so tall and wide along with random students watching the scene.
"Riddle did it hurt getting the mark??!" The boys were now pushing Mattheo about in a circle.
"Show us Riddle show us how fucking sinful you are ,fucking freak!"
Mattheo now lost it and punched the guy.
All the boys jumped Mattheo it was 3 against 1 .
The crowd made noises encouraging the boys to keep fighting.
"Get the fuck out of my way!" I say finally pushing past them.
If I had my wand then I would just freeze them all but my wand was still broken.
I hadn't had time to go get a new one yet .
I jumped in the circle pulling one of the boys off Mattheo's back .

The boy pushed me back towards the crowd and I stumbled slightly .
Thats when Mattheo just went nuts and started kicking the shit at of all of them as he punched the last boy to the ground .
The crowd went silent .
Mattheo was breathing heavy.
"This what you fucking want to see!" Mattheo said rolling both his sleeves up.
There was no mark.
Everyone gasped in shock .
He held both arms up in the air and did a 360 turn to show the crowd.

"No fucking mark but when I get one you boys will be the first to know!" he threatened the crowd and the boys who were still on the ground.
He stormed off towards the black lake as the crowd broke up moving fast into the hall.
I felt bad I could see in Mattheo's eyes that it hurt even if he wouldn't admit it.
I followed him I knew I shouldn't of ,but I did.

As I walk down to the black lake was surrounded by trees I see Theo he was stood there just looking at the lake with a cigarette in his mouth.

I stepped on a stick and it creaked Mattheo wipped round to see me stood there awkwardly.
He chuckled "what the fuck are you doing here Carter" he turned round so his back was to me now.
"I'm sorry that they did that to you" I spoke softly.

He laughed at me shaking his head as he blow smoke out of his mouth.
"No your not I bet you enjoyed watching it ,hey! Maybe you wanted to join in?" He said as he turned and walked past me towards the castle.
"Mattheo stop!" I shout trying to get his attention.
I don't even know why I'm here ,maybe to make myself feel better for what I did.
I hated him yet I was here making sure he was ok.
He turned giving me a "what do you want" expression.

"I'm sorry I really am! You didn't deserve that you didn't deserve people talking about you behind closed doors like some shameful secret or to assume the worst from you!" I walk closer to the boy in front of me .

We were now inches apart.
He leant in so his face was close to mine.
"Don't pretend that you weren't those same people talking about me like I'm some freak or the people who just assumed I was a death eater because we both no that you believed those rumours just like everyone else maybe you were the one to even started them" he harshly whispered into my face .

His cold breath brushed against my cheek as he spoke .
I pressed my lips onto Theo's roughly.
The blood from his nose and burst lip covered my lips.
My hands grasped at his hair and made their way to the back of his neck.
The kiss become more rough INTILL Mattheo forcefully pushed me off.

"Don't do that just don't" he shook his head like he was ashamed.
He rushed up to the castle.

Back up at dorm .
Sylvia was still having dinner so I was alone .
I walked into my bathroom and looked in the mirror my mascara was rubbed slightly and Mattheo's blood from his wounds were on my lips & cheek.
God I'm a mess .
I don't know who I am anymore.
I don't recognise the girl I'm looking at in the mirror I feel like I'm losing myself .
Maybe I've been lost all this time.
Maybe I truly lost myself the day I lost my parents.