39. Forever Yours

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~Third Person's POV

"Oh Almighty!"

She shaped her trembling icy cold hands into a half moon once again while her eyes shimmered with uncountable pearls of helplessness.

"I am at the stage where I am completely helpless, vulnerable and alone. My Veer is battling between life and death and all I can do is weep and beg in front of you to bless him with a new life. Why is it that always the one who loves me unconditionally, is ready to leave me in this state of agony for the rest of my life? First you snatched the shelter of the man whom I loved the most and left me alone, stranded and defeated in this desert of hopelessness. The man who was my only support, mentor and my idol, my Baba! Just when I needed him the most, you took him away from me and left me alone to fight my battles on my own. Then you snatched away the love of my sister from me, my Iman ! The girl who used to love me, respect me, and follow me like a shadow in every aspect of her life. You snatched her love away from me by filling all sorts of hatred, jealousy and resentment in her heart for me. Then after five painful years of desperation, he returned! Shahveer! The man whom I had loved since childhood and still continued to love him even behind this fake curtain of hatred throughout five years. The man who confessed that he loved me and you know how terribly my heart broke that night when I realized that this was indeed the answer of my prayers, that I have been making since forever, which was given at the very wrong timings! How I wish I had given him a last chance to explain and justify his wrongdoings, but I judged him on the basis of his deeds. Who the hell was I to judge when its YOU Who is responsible to Judge! Why didn't you stop me from being so cruel to him? If it was his fault then it was mine too! I shouldn't have exposed the beauty in front of him, which you have blessed me with. I shouldn't have acted so much carefree, so much inviting and so much alluring that night. I made him lose his control that night for if I had acted reserve and mature in front of him, it would have had never happened! It wasn't just his fault. It was mine too and I know that you are punishing me because of it! But tonight, tonight I am begging you to forgive my sins which have lead me to this state of agony. I beg you to grant me the Ajr of any of my good deeds in this dunya, in the form of Shahveer's life."

She hiccupped between her merciless sobs as her voice started to get hoarse with pain and continuous hours of crying.

"Take my life and grant him one!"

She cried with desperation and slowly bowed down into Sujood as she continued to murmur the same words again and again while the prayer mat started to get wet with her unstoppable tears.

"I love him Ya Allah! For the sake of this unconditional and unmatchable love which is burning in my heart like an inextinguishable flame which is adamant to destroy each and every bit of my soul. He is the most important fragment of my soul and if you take him away from me, my life would start cursing me, forcing me to end it! I have realized my mistake and I am ready for all sorts of punishments but not in the form of losing him. You are famous for Your Mercy! Pour some of it on me tonight Ya Rab-ul-Alameen ! Don't give me a burden which I am not capable of tolerating. Both of us are suffering in the name of this love. Why is there only separation written in our destiny since childhood? If You were so determined to always separate us, then why did You sow the seeds of infinite love in our hearts which keeps on rekindling despite of continuous strong blows of disastrous winds? The fire which was never meant to extinguish at all, is slowly and gradually burning my skin my Almighty! My eyes are stinging and it is becoming difficult to breath anymore. The guilt of torturing him is driving me insane. The guilt of watching him in this vulnerable state, just because of me, is enough to cut my soul and my existence with a sharp axe slowly and painfully. I won't be able to live peacefully with this guilt oh Lord! Your Hooriyah is not capable of bearing so much pain! Why did you send him back in my life when you wanted to repeat the same process of separation once again?"

She paused for a while and lifted her head up from the prostration and wiped her tears with the back of her hands.

"First You separated us when I was 5 and he was 8. You witnessed each and every tear which fell from my eyes. How my heart begged You to stop him from leaving Pakistan, but You didn't stop him and moved him away from my sight. I stopped eating and studying and this continued for months until I fell seriously ill. You remember it don't You? Then You brought him back to my life after eighteen years along with the hope of an eternal connection but that connection partially died that dreadful night. And just when all sorts of hopes began to die and I had made my heart strong enough so that it could extinguish the fire which had been burning my soul since years, You sent him again along with the most beautiful news of my life that he had started to reciprocate the feelings, only to end that happiness much sooner than it had arrived."

The pain was increasing after every passing second. The guilt was slitting her throat again and again making her state vulnerable as she had not eaten anything since three days and there was no improvement in Shahveer's stated ever since he had been admitted. Everyone had started to lose hopes except for her. She knew that her Allah will listen to her this time and will not return her empty handed because He knew that she had gone through so much and if he overburdened her soul with this grief, she won't be able to tolerate it and Allah never burdens a soul beyond his or her tolerance.

She had a firm belief on this!

She kept on begging and whimpering for hours and hours, in front of the One Who was aware of every single atom of her pain, until someone found it necessary to knock on the door of the prayer room, which seemed to be her eternal abode since she had came to the hospital, to inform her about something important.

"Hooriyah, there is someone waiting for you outside!" 

Came Ms.Nancy's weak and painful voice as she watched her in the state of pain.

"I'm coming!" 

Came her feeble response as she wrapped her prayer mat and stood up to leave.

As soon as she came out, her swollen teary eyes fell upon two familiar faces. The same faces which she knew that she won't be able to face.

"Mr and Mrs. Shehroze!" 

A painful murmur escaped her lips as they both watched her with sympathy. The last time she had met them was at her Baba's funeral.

5 years ago!

Mr. Shehroze immediately stood up and came forward to greet the girl who was more than just a daughter to him.

"My Princess!" 

He wept as he came closer and enveloped her in a really warm hug. A hug which always reminded her of her Baba. Mrs. Shehroze followed the same gesture and hugged her with uncontrollable emotions.

And that was enough to force her to burst into a storm of tears in front of them as she tightened her hug and continued to cry like a child who is tired of weeping but still continues.

"Shh my child! He won't like watching you in this state my daughter!" 

Mr. Shehroze kissed her forehead and asked her to sit beside him.

"Uncle, please ask him to answer to me! He has not answered me since three days. Please talk to him. He fears you and respects you the most. He will listen to you!"

She cried innocently while joining hands in front of Mr. Shehroze while his wife left the spot as she it was getting difficult for her to witness this torturous scenario.

"It's all because of me! He is suffering because of me uncle! He is mad at me, ask him to forgive me please!" She cried while he cupped her face between his hands.

"It's nobody's fault Hooriyah. It's just the game of destiny! And I know that your prayers won't go in vain. Trust me and trust Allah!"

He caressed her hair while giving her lots of hopes which he himself needed the most. There was a familiar sparkle in his dark brown eyes which she had been yearning to see since years. The same sparkle which she used to see in her father's eyes whenever he would wipe her tears and try to soothe her pain.

Mrs. Shehroze joined again.

"Five years ago, he left the house with the intention that he will not come back without taking you back. When we asked him how long will it take him to return, so he replied extremely happily that it would take him just five days! If I had known that those five days will last till five years, I would have never let him step out of the house that night!"

She cried innocently as she recalled the last time she saw her son.

"Although he is late, but just wait and watch, he is going to fulfill his promise! He never leaves any of them incomplete. I know my son. He will fulfill his promise, the promise which he made to his parents and the promise which he made to his Hoor! He will wake up in order to fulfil both of them. All you have to do is have faith in Allah!"

Mr. Shehroze tried his best to rekindle the flame of hope in everyone's heart as they waited for the next news.

x-x-x-x-x

As time flied like an eagle and the sun started to shine bright across the windows of the hospital thus welcoming a new hopeful morning, Hooriyah waited for Hammad to come out and update her with any news while Shahveer's parents tried their best to pray for their son, as much as possible.

"We need to start another surgery Hooriyah!"

Came Hammad's terrified voice as she immediately stood up from the bench.

"But why Hammad?" She asked while panicking.

"There is no time to explain Hoor, all I can say is that his internal injuries have started to bleed once again and his condition is deteriorating further since the morning, so we want the signatures of his parents on these papers in order to start the surgery as soon as possible!"

He stated everything in a single breath.

"What's written on the papers?"

Asked Mr.Shehroze with a quivering voice.

"It's written that God for bit if the patient dies during the surgery, we won't be responsible for his death."

He replied with a disappointed tone as Hooriyah held her head in her hands and sat down on the bench again accompanied by Mrs. Shehroze who tried to help her bring her back to her senses.

"It's the last hope! Beyond that I can't do anything, I am really sorry!" 

He lowered his eyes with embarrassment as he knew that he won't be able to face Hooriyah now.

"I am ready to sign the papers, just start the operation!" 

Mr. Shehroze replied with a shaky voice, trying his best to not to let any tear fall from his eyes, but failed to do so as his hands trembled with fear while signing the papers and tears began to cascade down like a waterfall, thus wetting the papers.

"Ya Allah!"

Hooriyah moaned with pain as she pressed her temples gently which were about to burst with pain as she cried harder.

"Stop it my child, look at yourself, you will end up being sick. Come with me, you have to eat something or else you will faint. Have some mercy on yourself and us too beta! We have to take care of you!"

Mrs. Shehroze rubbed her back affectionately as she hiccupped and cried harder.

"I don't want to eat anything, I will be fine!" She refused politely.

"You are torturing yourself my dear. And by torturing yourself like this, you are torturing Shahveer and your Baba too!"

"He needs you the most right now. Your prayers will act as a medicine to his ailments. If you will cry like this, it will do nothing except for causing him more and more pain!"

She kissed her forehead as she stopped crying and finally agreed to eat something after constant refusal.

While finding a nice spot in the cafeteria, Mrs. Shehroze ushered Hooriyah towards the table where she could make her feel comfortable and feed her something.

"That sister, Ms. Nancy told me that you haven't eaten a thing since three days? What is this childishness Hooriyah? Do you think suffering like this will help him heal his injuries? No my dear, it will just worsen them!"

Mrs. Shehroze caressed her face affectionately and fed her few morsels from the plate which was full of rice and pulses.

She gulped painfully as the food acted like a cactus running down the throat, just because of not eating anything since days.

"Let me share a beautiful memory from your childhood when you were just 3 and my boy was 6. It will make you feel better. One day, you were seriously ill and suffering from a very high fever. When Shahveer learned about this, he stopped eating and drinking. He refused to eat anything and swore that he won't take a single bite until you recover. He was so upset, bored and depressed as he had no one to play with. He used to go to the Mosque with his Baba and pray for your health with his small adorable hands, whispering extremely politely 'Ya Allah, meri hooriyah ko theek kar dey! Pleashh meri hooriyah ko theek kar dey!' "

Mrs. Shehroze burst into a laughter while Hooriyah chuckled sweetly as she wiped a tear from her cheek.

"And we used to laugh uncontrollably while just wondering that what will they ever do without each other? And today, after twenty five years, when the history is repeating itself, I got the answer of my question, and it is that you both can never live without each other."

She smiled as a pool of tears started to appear in her eyes while Hooriyah watched her with amazement.

"If one is the body, the other is soul! If one is the heart, the other one is the heartbeat! The night when he broke your heart pathetically, I knew that he is going to realise his mistake sooner or later. I knew that he would regret and do anything to get his childhood best buddy back. Whatever he did was perhaps due to few ups and downs in our upbringing or perhaps due to the wrong and toxic company of his cheap friends. But deep down, I always knew that he had the same beautiful, soft, pure and a diamond-like heart as yours, for if he didn't have it, he would have never realised his wrongdoings and never spend five years in search of you. I used to call him back to Manchester millions of times, but all he would say was, ' I will come back soon Mama, but not without your daughter in law!' "

A heart shaking excruciating pain ran across Hooriyah's soul as she listened to the last sentence while a lonely tear escaped through one of Mrs. Shehroze's beautiful and charming eyes.

"Aunty?"

She murmured weakly.

"Yes dear?"

"How much does he love me?"

She asked with a completely broken heart.

Mrs. Shehroze chuckled softly.

"Hmmm, by now, he must have expressed some of it to you isn't it?"

She teased her while she chose to remain silent.

"He loves you thousand times more than he had expressed uptil now!"

Hooriyah's eyes widened with amazement.

"I know that whatever he had expressed is just 1 or 2 percent of what he actually wants to express. He is not much expressive and so much reserved in nature, but I believe that at the right time, he's going to reveal the most beautiful colours of his personality which are still hidden to you, my princess!"

A small adorable smile danced across her lips as she listened to the most soothing words coming out of the mouth of the most beautiful woman she had ever met, after her biological mother.

Mrs. Shehroze had always been her constant support and her presence always reminded her about her biological mother, whom she lost at the age of ten. The presence which she missed the most throughout these five painful years.

"You'll be the luckiest bride and the first woman in this world to witness the most beautiful side of my son which he had hidden like a treasure, just for you. And In Sha Allah, my son is going to be the luckiest man on Earth to be blessed with the company of a woman who brought him to the righteous path by the grace of Allah!"

She gave a victorious smile to her while feeding her the last morsel of the food.

"In Sha Allah." 

Hooriyah whispered to herself contently as both of them stood up to leave the cafeteria and join Mr.Shehroze .

Hoping for the situation to normalize and get better, everyone tried their best to indulge themselves into prayers as much as possible. Hooriyah kept on offering nawafils for the sake of her beloved while Ms.Nancy spent most of her time in the church to ask for mercy from her god.

On the other hand, the little children of Hooriyah's school continued to make infinite dua'as for their favorite and most beloved Shahveer Bhaiyya and Hammad along with the other surgeons and nurses tried their best to conclude the surgery successfully, but it seemed as if the destiny had already planned something else.

Despite of all the heartfelt prayers of his loved ones , all the tireless efforts of the struggling doctors, all the tears of agony of his childhood lover and despite of all the emerging hopes inside the rapidly beating hearts of his grieving parents, he still failed to show any response, any improvement or any willpower to survive.

His condition was worsening after every passing second !

It seemed as if all the efforts, all the tears and all the prayers were slowly being drained into a deep well of nothingness.

The actions of the doctors became even more swift and rapid as they tried to avail every single chance and every single second to save the life of the man who was slowly and gradually taking steps towards death.

The sound of the beep on the heart rate monitor started becoming rapid. The line depicting the heart beat's rate began to get haphazard and irregular, threatening the doctors about the danger of the upcoming failure in the operation. They immediately started giving electrical pulses to his heart with the help of a defibrillator to avoid the stoppage of his heart beat and normalize it, and continued to give him shocks again and again hoping for an improvement each time.

From outside the small circular window of the operation theater, Hooriyah quietly watched the doctors continuously giving electric shocks to his heart. Tears of helplessness trickled down her face as she watched his heart going through so much exertion, just for the sake of surviving and not dyeing. She could see his heart being defibrillated again and again, the same heart which was her eternal abode. The same heart which was still beating for her. The same heart which had been overflowing with her love. The same heart which was created by God along with hers. 

The same heart which was destined to beat for just one name ; Hooriyah.

She touched the window with her cold hands as she watched him with desperation and grief, recalling his torturous words from that horrible night.

x-x-x-x-x

"Don't worry dear! I will leave! Only to come back never

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