20. The Letters

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~Third Person's POV

It had been five days since he was admitted in the hospital. Although the doctors knew that he would recover soon, but he simply didn't want to. He refused to show any willpower. He was loving this torturous state of agony. He was finding peace in knowing that every inch of his skin was burning and every bone of his almost lifeless body was screaming with pain. If he had shown any willpower, he might have recovered already, but he simply didn't want to!

Because, all he wanted was more pain!

He would have been much more happier if he had lost his life during the accident along which he would have been freed from the burden of his mistakes, but so unfortunate was he, that he still had to live with an unbearable guilt throughout his life.

How badly he wished, that he had died!

Because living with a storm of guilt was much more painful than death!

But perhaps, Allah had granted him a new life due to the reasons which were only known to HIM alone!
Perhaps, He had written a new phase in Shahveer's destiny. Perhaps He wanted to give him one last chance.

A CHANCE TO CHANGE, AND COME BACK TO THE PATH WHICH HE HAD LONG FORGOTTEN!

x-x-x-x-x

~Shahveer

"Although his body is functioning well, but it seems like he doesn't want to recover!"

One of the doctors murmured to my parents as they watched my disheveled state with their painful and teary eyes.

"But Doctor, there must be some way to bring him back! If he is doing well, then why isn't he responding?"

Mom cried mercilessly as she strongly disagreed with the fact that her son was unable to fight for his life, and that too, intentionally!

A son, who used to be so strong, both physically and mentally, was giving up so soon?

"Shahveer! My son!"

I could hear and feel my Dad coming near to me as he caressed my hair and kissed my forehead with immense affection. A warm lonely tear cascaded down his weak and gloomy eyes.

"Shahveer! You used to be my lion! Remember? Then what happened now?"

Dad looked straight into my eyes as he questioned me something which was enough to tear me apart.

I wish I could tell you Dad!

"My Shahveer used to care so much for his parents! Then why is he giving them so much pain?" He cried.

A shiver of pain and guilt ran down my spine.

"Would you ever love to see your parents in pain?" He asked again.

A waterfall of tears cascaded down my eyes as I watched him blankly.

"If not us, then at least think about your sister!"

My eyes widened with shock.

"Alizeh is crying madly since five days! She neither eats anything, nor she drinks anything! She is getting weaker, just because of you!" Mom cried.

My muscles started to become sore. My head started spinning wildly.

Alizeh was here? She came to meet me? Her brother? A brother who's face she had sworn to never see again?

My eyes started to twinkle with ecstasy as my fingers motioned a little.

"Yes my son! Alizeh came to London as soon as she heard about your accident!" Dad smiled upon noticing my desperation.

It felt as if a bolt of thunder passed across my whole body, slowly charging me to wake my dead soul up again.

I struggled really hard to get up upon hearing my sister's name.

My parents immediately called the Doctor as they watched my movements.

The doctor checked my pulses and helped me in getting up from the pillow. My bones ached with excruciating pain as I moaned with agony.

"A....A..LIZ....ALIZEH...!" I mumbled her name under my breath and it was perhaps the only word I had uttered in these five days.

"She's sitting outside, I'll call her!" Dad replied in a much enthusiastic way.

Perhaps she was the only ray of light!
My sister was the only ray of light who could help me in coloring up my black and white life once again!

As I struggled to stay in my consciousness, my dull and gloomy eyes immediately caught the glance of a horrified and tear stained face of my dearest sister. She walked slowly towards my bed, while her beautiful swollen eyes were glued upon my fractured arm. My lips eventually curved up into a wide grin when I watched her coming near to me. I could easily feel my eyes twinkle with happiness and gratitude.

"How I wish I could punch you right through this nasty face of yours!"

She glared at me with anger to which I giggled weakly.

"If your sister isn't talking to you since six months, it doesn't mean that you end up here in the hospital!" She cried innocently.

I wanted to hug her tightly and wipe all of her tears away. I had hurt her a lot! I had given pain to so many people!

Will Allah ever forgive me?

"I love you Bhayi! Please come back home! I had missed you so much that I can't even tell you. I know whatever you did was wrong! But stop punishing yourself like this! Mom and Dad needs you. I need you! Your beloved sister needs you!" She sobbed like a baby.

"Come here!" I barely whispered with my weak voice and finally took her in my embrace as she continued to cry mercilessly. I had missed my sister so much! I had missed her existence a lot! But now she was here by my side. I knew that she will forgive me. Because she loved me more than I loved her! I wiped her tears with my trembling hands and whispered something unintentionally.

"I'm sorry!"

Alizeh looked at me with confusion.

I joined my hands in front of her and begged for forgiveness as a stream of tears escaped through my eyes.

"Don't do this bhayi!" She held my hands and tried to stop me.

"I....I am...sorry Alizeh!" I continued to weep without showing any mercy to my already terrible state.

"Why are you saying this Bhayi?" She asked innocently.

"You were right Alizeh! You were right! The damage has been done! A damage done by me! A damage beyond repair!" I cried.

She stood there silently.

"I am sorry!" I continued to cry as she watched me with shock.

"I am glad that you have realized Bhayi! It's still not late! Realizing your mistake is the biggest bounty of Allah!" She smiled.

"I want to repair the damage which was done by me!" I looked at her blankly.

"I know you can! If you can break a heart, then Allah has also given you the ability to mend that same heart again!" She squeezed my hand with affection.

"Will she forgive me?" I asked innocently.

She paused for a minute.

"She was an angel in disguise. Allah's special angel! Her heart is more pure than crystals and more softer than a feather. And why wouldn't she forgive a man whom she had loved since 18 years?" She smiled.

An excruciating bone cracking pain ran across my body upon listening to her final sentence. Something which Hooriyah was confessing again and again, that night! She had loved me since 18 years! Yet I was still unable to know anything about this throughout these years? How could I be such a fool?

"But do you think she would still love me after all of this?" I tried to speak up about my biggest fear.

"Love doesn't simply end when you get hurt by your beloved. It gets even more stronger! And the love which was blooming in her heart since two decades, how could it simply end within few months? Even if she wants to forget you, she won't be able to! Even if she wants to stop loving you, she won't be able to! And do you know why?"

Her eyes twinkled with happiness.

"Why?" I asked weakly.

"Because now Allah has started listening to her prayers! The prayers which she used to make for you and your love!"

"How?"

"Because you are falling in love with her! Your heart is being filled with a longing for her existence. Allah is watching you and He knows what you are feeling. You just have to ask and pray!" She replied politely.

"But if her prayers were not fulfilled, then how can I expect mine to be fulfilled? I have spent a very sinful life! Why would HE listen to me?" I murmured weakly.

"Because it may be possible that your prayers could turn out to be more sincere, powerful and stronger than hers! It may be possible that there would be more purity and piousness in your prayers than hers!"

I smiled at her soothing words.

"Do whatever you can. Allah will do the rest!" She cupped my face between her delicate hands as she wiped my tears away.

She was right!

Prayers do change the destiny!

Even if you weren't destined to be mine, Hooriyah Jahangir Khan, I will make sure that my prayers make me capable enough to get you back because deep down in my heart, I always knew that I was...............
.
.
.

.
.
.
.
DESTINED TO BE WITH YOU!!!

x-x-x-x-x

It had been few days since I was discharged from the hospital and brought back to Manchester. My restlessness started to grow faster as I was strictly instructed to have a bed rest for one month. I admit that I was still weak and was not fully recovered, but laying down like this 24/7 was making me feel exhausted. I wanted to run away from here. I wanted to complete all of my pending tasks which I should have done long ago. The more it will get delayed, the more it will create problems for me. I had to go back to Pakistan at any cost. It had already been six months and the fear of loosing her was growing inside my heart day by day. I wanted to go back to her and solve all of my problems, but I was not in a state to travel through several continents. Doctors had strictly prohibited me from traveling. But I had to!
I didn't want to spend my life with guilt anymore. If God for bit it gets late, I would have to spend a life full of regrets! And I simply can't imagine a life like that!

As restlessness reached at its peak, I slowly dragged myself away from my bed and grabbed my crutch so that I could easily walk down the stairs. The lounge was empty and silent which meant that I was free to do whatever I wanted to. I slowly limped towards the store room as I blindly followed my heart's instructions. There was still something hidden from me, which needed to be discovered!
I don't know what I was looking for, but there was something which was making me desperate! I wanted to have a look at it as soon as possible or else I would die with curiosity!

"Bhayi?" A familiar voice intervened.

I turned to have a look at my sister who was worriedly watching her brother who was apparently trying to unlock the store room with a bunch of keys.

"What are you doing here? You must be ___"

"Alizeh please open this door for me!" I interrupted.

"But what do you want ? No one goes in there! Its so messy inside. You might catch up flu." She asked with curiosity.

"I want to__"

I paused for a minute, trying to think hard.

"I want to read those letters!" I finally blurted out.

"Letters?" Alizeh asked with astonishment.

"Yes! Hooriyah's letter!"
I completed my sentence.

She looked at me with sympathy and then smiled and took the keys from me and unlocked the door.

A fume of dust entered our nostrils as we coughed at the same time.

Different types of boxes, cartons and old paintings were scattered everywhere in this large spooky room. Alizeh helped me in searching the boxes which contained lots of things from our childhood.

We struggled for the next fifteen minutes, searching here and there until a small red colored carton caught my eye. I walked towards the box and wiped away a thick blanket of dust from its surface, which had been accumulated since years, and started to open it slowly.

As soon as I opened it, a bunch of envelopes fell down from the box and rested peacefully near my feet. I knelt down and picked up one of the envelopes which was entitles as,

'Dear Veer!'

And that was enough to skip my heartbeat and raise goosebumps all over my body!

I paused for a minute as I examined the envelope with my eyes in which tears had already started to dwell. I caressed the envelope with my trembling hands as one of my tears fell down on it's dusty texture, thus wetting the envelope. Without giving a second thought, I finally decided to open the letter which was resting inside it since a decade.

An old crumbled paper was beautifully scribbled with the loveliest calligraphic handwriting I had ever seen! I rubbed my eyes to clear my vision and slowly started to read the letters sent by someone who had become the most important fragment of my soul.

I continued reading all the letters one by one, while my heart started ripping off due to the guilt and pain of neglecting the one who was so close to my heart since childhood. Some of the letters included beautiful prayers for me, made by her. Some included the painful words which represented that how much she was missing me and how much she was feeling alone without me. She had written each and every detail about her life so that I could easily read her like an open book. She had shared every single thing about her studies, her new friends, the destructive earthquake in Pakistan, her gold medals and her achievements, her pain, her happiness, her sorrows, her father's first ever cardiac arrest, her graduation from an engineering college, her dream to travel the world, her immense love for mountains and her immense affection towards me!

That poor soul had written her heart out in every single piece of paper!

And so ruthless was I, that I failed to show any sort of admiration, any sort of interest and any sort of acceptance towards these heart wrenching efforts done by her to please me in any way possible!

I kept on weeping silently, until my eyes fell upon the last letter sent by her, seven years ago!

A letter in which she had indirectly confessed her feelings to me.

And then, she stopped writing letters after realizing that I wasn't reading any of them!

x-x-x-x-x

June 16th 2008,

Dear Veer,

"May Almighty Allah always bless you with happiness and protect you from every calamity. Ameen!"

I hope you are doing well and find this letter in a perfect condition! Your Hooriyah was missing you so much as it has been three months since you haven't replied to my previous letters yet! I was wondering if you were mad on me? Have I done something wrong? I am sorry If I had annoyed you in anyway! But please don't ignore me like this!

Anyways, I am writing this letter to tell you that I was

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