DESPERATION

chapter 3

It was again several hours before Tifa awoke.

She opened her eyes to the familiar feeling of dull pain. The feeling as if her arms and legs were connected to a different body. This time felt different though. She tried to move her arms to rub her tired eyes, but she couldn't they wouldn't move. Tifa tried two or three times but each time, something pulled back - a red ribbon made of silk, wrapped around her wrists, tied to the metal frame of the bedpost. It was wrapped tight, too tight to budge. Tifa tried to squirm out, thinking her wrists were slender enough to sneak out but it was no use. They were knotted fast, they was no way she could break free.

Bound.

Tifa noticed she'd finally been tied-up, just like in the movies. The silk ribbon felt soft and delicate as each time she struggled, it rubbed against her skin. Tifa looked down, her ankles had been tied too. The same red ribbon. It was smooth and didn't hurt her at all and she knew Rufus must have done it.

She imagined for a moment the way Rufus must have gently picked her up and placed her on the bed, taking the ribbon out of his pocket. He must have tenderly held her hands together, wrapping the silk ribbon round once, then twice, tying a small bow before connecting it to the bedpost.

Rufus must have done the same to her feet. Resting her legs on his lap, he must have wound the ribbon two or three more times, making sure it was secure, making sure Tifa had no chance of escape. He would have thought of everything, making sure she remained his captive.

Rufus must have touched her bare feet, caressed them while she was sleeping so peacefully and then set them down on the bed, maybe even kissing her on the forehead.

NO! Tifa thought.

That was stupid. She wanted to scream.

Mmmmppphhhh!

She tried to scream but barely an audible word came out. She noticed that she was gagged with a white cloth around her mouth. She tried to cry out again and again nothing but loud unintelligible moan came out.

Tifa pulled at her restraints once more - nothing. Futile. She wriggled her thighs from side to side, but the bonds that tied her ankles were far too tight. This was it, she had finally been caught. This is the situation she had thought about when she was just a teenager, sitting on that rooftop with Cloud.

Hey, let's make a promise. 

Umm... if you get really famous and I'm ever in a bind... 

You'll come save me, all right? 

If I'm in trouble, my hero will come and rescue me. 

I want to experience that at least once.

This was it. She was finally the damsel in distress. She kept waiting for Cloud to come in and rescue her. To kick the door down, rip her bonds away and sweep her into his arms, as they rode off into the sunset together. She kept waiting for him. She waited for hours. He never came. The door remained closed - locked.

Her throat was dry and she was starving - she hadn't eaten since being captured. She looked across, there was a small glass of water on the table next to her. She couldn't reach it though. She nudged towards it but her hands were fixed firmly to the bedpost. She'd have to wait for someone to give her water. It was so humiliating. She was completely at their mercy.

Tifa waited and waited for hours. But still nobody came.

The silence in the room was deafening. She tried to shut it off by thinking about all kinds of things. She thought about Cloud, about the great times they shared together. The death of Sephiroth and the return to normal life didn't suit Cloud much, he had changed. Tifa's thoughts darted back and forth to how much Cloud had changed since Sephiroth and how he longed for one more great battle.

Tifa thought about Rufus and Shinra. She pictured him in front of her. His handsome features silhouetted amongst the dark haze. Everytime she thought about him, she shuddered. She was scared. She didn't know his plan and she thought he might just kill her or something, maybe even worse like torture.

He was strong. She knew that by the way he had easily overpowered her, taking her up into his arms in one fluid motion without so much as batting an eyelid. But he had a softness about him too, maybe that was the wrong word, but certainly a tenderness - a certain loving way he held her. No kidnapper was that gentle. She remembered the way Don Corneo's goons had tried to take her. Rufus was swift, powerful, hypnotic.

A sound at the door.

Tifa struggled again.

The door swung open with a loud creaking sound. Tifa was blinded by the glaring light coming from the corridor and turned her head. She couldn't see who it was at first. Tifa heard footsteps moving towards her, it was definitely only one person. They weren't heavy boots either. The footsteps were light and dainty coming from high-heeled shoes.

Tifa opened her eyes and squinted to make out the outline of a tall blonde-haired woman in a long, red evening dress. It was her again.

Scarlet chuckled and ran her eyes up and down Tifa's prone body. Tifa squirmed as Scarlett used her sharp fingernail and lightly scratched own Tifa's side. Tifa muffled something again under her gag, more pathetically this time. She was more scared.

"Oh, my darling, Tifa," said Scarlet. "Look what's happened to you. Look at you lying here, helpless and exposed. Whatever are we going to do with you?"

Tifa didn't answer. Her fear slowly dissipating - turning to rage.

Scarlet sat down on the side of the bed and lightly stoked Tifa's face. Tifa snapped her head away, but it only caused her more pain.

"Now, Now, Tifa, darling. Don't worry. I'm going to take good care of you while you're here. Leave everything to me. I know we've had our differences in the past, but things are different now. I've changed, we've all changed. This is a new beginning for all of us. I'm so glad you could join the party, Tifa. It's going to be so much fun."

Tifa screamed in her muffled monotone one more time, louder and angrier than ever. Lifting her head, she looked Scarlet square in the eyes, a stare that could have cut her in two. Tifa hated the idea of Scarlet taking advantage of her, seeing her in this helpless position. She imagined punching her, caving her face in, blood spurting out in every direction, her fist lodged in her brain.

"I know it's lonely up here." Scarlet continued. "This is such a big house. It's a good thing Rufus and I are in another quarters together. Loneliness can kill. It's nice to snuggle up to someone once in a while. I'm sure you're waiting for Cloud to come for you. Well he's not coming. No-one's coming. It's just us now."

Tifa couldn't get the image out of her mind. Scarlet and Rufus together in bed, curled up in each other's arms, their bodies naked, laden with sweat and hearts pounding. Tifa screamed again.

Suddenly there was another sound at the door.

Scarlet immediately got off the bed and Tifa looked and saw Rufus standing there holding a tray of food in his right hand. Rufus coughed.

"Scarlet, if you'll excuse us for a moment."

Scarlet looked down at the floor. "Yes, of course" she said. "I'm sorry."

Scarlet shuffled off out of the room quickly without saying another word. Rufus smiled. He put the tray down on the small table next to the glass of water. Tifa looked across at the tray. There was a small bread roll, some cheese and a green salad dressed in a white sauce. It was hardly five-star restaurant quality, but she was starving and she didn't have a choice. She was somewhat grateful that he had come in and made Scarlet go away.

"I brought you some food, Tifa. I'm sorry about tying you up. But it's best for now."

Tifa mumbled something again. Rufus thought he understood and picked up the glass of water from the table and held it in front of her. Tifa gently nodded and Rufus pulled the gag from her mouth and held the glass to her lips so she could take small sips.

"There, that's much better. I'm sorry you're going to be like this for the time being. But I'm sure you're going to like it here. This group isn't like the old one. We're more focused now. And with you, anything is possible."

Rufus sniffed for a moment. Something smelt bad - rotten. He turned to look back at the girl trussed up on the bed. It was Tifa. She hadn't had a bath yet. The smell almost made Rufus' eyes water.

"There are bath and shower facilities here too. Obviously we'll have to take special precautions to make sure you don't escape."

"What kind of special precautions?" Tifa asked, now realising she was able to speak freely without the gag.

"Well I have some ideas in mind, but I think you need intense supervision."

"You're not going to touch me and you're not giving me a bath, you maniac!"

Rufus put his index finger to her lips to hush her. He reached for the bread roll and brought it over to Tifa's solid gaze. Tifa didn't take one glance at the roll though. She was once again mesmerised by those eyes. The eyes that lit up the darkened sky. The eyes that she saw the tenderness in, or the softness, or whatever her feeling was.

Rufus broke a piece off the roll, pinching it in his fingers and slowly moved it towards Tifa's mouth. He gently put it in her mouth, but Tifa immediately spat it out again. Rufus tried again but for the second time, Tifa just spat the bread roll out, this time half-eaten roll landed in the glass of water. Tifa then spat a real shot of saliva hitting Rufus just above the eye.

"You bitch!" he cried.

Rufus slammed the tray of food down on the wooden floor, the plates and tray clattered and banged and glass smashed into a thousand pieces. He then put the gag back in Tifa's mouth.

"Look, you're going to either eat the food I give you or you're going to starve. Which is it going to be?"

At that moment, Tifa didn't care. If she starved to death, then it would be better than staying there as Shinra's plaything. Trapped and bound and gagged. Knowing that any moment they could take off her skirt and have their way with her. 

Tifa looked away from Rufus. Everytime she looked away, she reminded herself of what an evil bastard he was. How he had kidnapped her and humiliated her. There was no real softness or tenderness inside him. It was all just a trick.

Rufus slammed his fist down, it missed her head by inches and just hit the soft mattress beside her. Tifa didn't know if he was really going to hit her. In the end, she was relieved when he didn't.

Rufus stormed out the room slamming the door behind him. Tifa could hear Scarlet's voice in the distance. She sounded concerned but soon their voices faded away into the background and Tifa was left alone in the silence - the deafening silence.

Tifa started to cry and she began to think there would never be a way out. She would never escape. She would be forced to live there, a slave to Shinra forever and Cloud would never come and rescue her. Barret would send out a search party but they would never know where to start. She could be a million miles from Midgar. She had no idea where she was.

Then the smell hit her. It stank. She stank. Tifa then wished that perhaps she'd taken Rufus up on his offer. She really needed a bath. What was she going to do? What if Rufus came back in an even worse mood? He might hit or even rape her.

She didn't like seeing him angry. It made her a little bit scared. Seeing the softness leave from his face, and then his expression contorted, all coiled up like a rattle-snake ready to explode. Tifa hated seeing Rufus like that.

Tifa waited for hours.

Her stomach rumbled.

She kept thinking about what kind of mood Rufus would be in when he next came. Tifa always worried about that kind of thing. She always worried about what kind of mood Cloud was in when she'd come home from a night shift at Seventh Heaven. She'd worry that she wasn't giving him enough affection or he was becoming bored and restless. She thought that maybe Rufus and Cloud were alike.

Tifa closed her eyes for a moment and managed to drift off. Dreams carrying her away down deeper into darkness her inner-consciousness. Then nothing. 

Tifa awoke with a start, feeling hungry, needing to pee. She couldn't remember anything she'd dreamt. She stared at the clock on the wall, now 2am. Another hour had passed. Only another hour.

Tifa could hear footsteps coming up the stairs. They were big and heavy footsteps - definitely Rufus, unless Heidegger managed to make it out alive too. Tifa could hear a voice shouting from down the corridor. It was definitely Rufus. He was hitting the wall with his fist. He sounded really pissed, like he was ready to really hurt her.

Tifa didn't know what to do. She knew he would be coming for her. She desperately darted her eyes around the room, looking for an escape, looking for a weapon. But it was useless. Her hands were still bound to the bedpost and her ankles were also securely fastened together.

The door flew open and Rufus walked in. Tifa closed her eyes and pretended to be asleep. She didn't have much time to think and she thought he wouldn't hurt her if she was asleep. It seemed to work as Rufus' heavy panting quickly quietened down and he stopped in front of her to stroke her cheek. 

Tifa didn't dare budge an inch. She was scared he'd find out that she was only faking being asleep and he'd punish her more. Take her downstairs, tie her up upside down or put her on hot coals until she told them everything about the modern Avalanche resistance.

Rufus stroked her face again. He removed her gag. Untied the red ribbon, first around her wrists and then around her ankles. He then loosened her belt and slipped her short black skirt down . Tifa resisted the urge to flinch. He was planning to rape her after all. She was untied. This was her chance to escape. But she didn't. She stayed perfectly still like a little porcelain doll. This wasn't the time to escape. There had to be a better time, nearer the exit with Rufus incapacitated.

Rufus lifted Tifa slightly until she was in a sitting position, his hand supporting her lower back. He then pulled her lowered her suspenders and pulled her white vest off and then unclipped her bra, exposing her large breasts.

Rufus had to stop himself from fondling her, from caressing her curvaceous body. He removed her underwear. She was neatly-shaven, her pubic hair formed into a neat triangle, waxed on either side.

Rufus looked down at her naked body. Tifa could feel his gaze. Her next sensation was being lifted. Floating on air and swung around as if she were a rag doll, Tifa kept her eyes closed and made sure her body was limp.

Tifa was carried down down to the end of the corridor. Then they made a right. Then Tifa wasn't sure where she was. There were too many corners, too many turns, and she was all disorientated, her headed loping from side to side.

Another door opened. Kicked open. Tifa felt herself placed in large bath of warm water. Tifa still didn't know why she was letting him get away with this. But as soon as her body hit the warm water, all other thoughts vanished. She was at peace.

Rufus took a cloth and ran it over Tifa's shoulders and then down her spine. He put a little shampoo in his hand and started rubbing her long black hair. He dipped her down, being careful not to get any water in her nose and mouth, He washed off the shampoo and then continued to soap her body.

He wiped the cloth over her bare breasts and then down each thigh and calf. Making sure to properly scrub the soles of her feet, he then pulled her back to a sitting position. Rufus started humming a little tune. It sounded like a nursery rhyme. Tifa liked the sound. It reminded her of her childhood. She then let out a small whimper as Rufus washed the water over her hair again.

Rufus looked at her, puzzled. But she still looked sound asleep, so peaceful. Rufus loved her sleeping face. It was the expression of pure perfection. Tifa was glad he hadn't noticed. But the thought was fleeting, soon gone, replaced by nothingness as all her thoughts disappeared.

When Rufus was finished washing her, he brought over a towel, rubbing it against her soft skin. He wrapped the towel around her and then lifted her up into her arms again. She smelt much better this time. Tifa noticed that too. It was just the lovely smell of soap rather than blood and sweat.

Rufus was careful not to let her head drop too much, it might damage her neck. So he kept her head up so it crooked in his shoulder. He carried her back to the bedroom. Tifa made another slight whimper whilst in his arms.

Rufus knew she was awake this time. It didn't matter though. He smiled at the thought. Rufus set Tifa down on the large double bed and once again tied her wrists to the bedpost with the red ribbon. He did the same with her ankles. He was as gentle as she imagined he was. He wasn't dangerous after all. Maybe she could get to him, persuade him to let her go. He seemed so human after all. It must have been possible.

Tifa's eyes flickered open and then first thing she saw was Rufus' blue eyes staring back at her.

"Welcome back, Miss Lockhart," he said. "You must be refreshed after that bath."