THIRTY EIGHT

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"Wanna hear your beating heart tonight
Before the bleeding sun comes alive
I want to make the best of what is left,
hold tight
And hear my beating heart one last time
Before daylight"
—Ellie Goulding

     I groan as yet another contraction takes over. I squeeze Luis' hand and breathe in through my nose, out through my mouth.

     "We're almost there Mere, just breathe." Ryder informs from the drivers seat. Jake is in the passenger seat, taking diligent glances back to me to make sure I'm okay. My head rests on Luis' lap while my legs are sprawled on Holly's lap. Oliver went home an hour before my water broke. He nearly flipped when he found out I'm going into labor.

     I muffle my scream with my unoccupied hand and cry.

     "Sh, Mere. Relax. It's going to be okay!" Holly strokes my legs to help relax. It works just a tad.

     "W-Where's Reid?" I cry out.

     Silence.

     "Where is he?!" I repeat. I can't—no, I won't go through this without him. He's the father of my child, I need him with me.

     Luis sighs and rakes his fingers through my hair. "He's going to meet us at the hospital. When I called him, he was already out of town."

     "What? Why? I need him!" I cry harder.

     "Mere, honey," Jake reaches back and takes my hand, squeezing it. "Everything's going to be okay. Reid is fucking pissed that he's not here with you right now. He'll meet us at the hospital, Okay?"

     I sigh in frustration and disappointment, but nod anyways.

     I know Reid had to leave, but I had no idea he'd be out of town so fast. Knowing him, he'd probably sped down every road in a rush. I just hope he's okay.

     "We're about three minutes away. How you doin' Mere?" Ryder asks.

     "I-It hu-hurts!" I stammer through cries. Who knew labor would be so uncomfortable—I certainly did not. "I need to push!"

     In unison, everyone in the car screams. "NO!"

     I roll my eyes. I can't really control what my body does at this moment, I'm not sure they understand that.

     "Mere, isn't this exciting?" Holly asks in a chipper tone. I raise my head and give her a what-the-fuck face. She rolls her eyes. "Mere, you're going to be a mother! You're going to have a little baby."

     I huff and nod. Another contraction strikes, this one closer than the last.

     "Her contractions are five minutes apart," Jake says looking at the watch on his wrist.

     "We're here!" Ryder announces. The car comes to a halt and everyone gets out. Jake pulls me out by my underarms and carries my bridal style. I'm not sure how he isn't complaining that he's practically carrying a whale.

     "We need some help!"

     Nurses rush over to me, one with a gurney. Jake places me down on it gently before I'm wheeled down the hallways. Everyone stays close to me and Holly's hand stays latches on mine.

     "You guys need to stay there," a nurse informs my people.

     "What? No! They're coming with me!" I yell.

     "Miss, I can't have them—"

     "Listen here! I have to push out a fucking baby, my fiancé isn't here and I'm not doing it on my own! I don't give a shit what the rules are, they come in or I'm having this baby in the hallway!" I bark at the nurse and her face pales.

     "O-Okay," she proceeds down the hallway and we turn into a delivery room. The nurse hooked me up to IVs and other medical instruments before scurrying out of the room.

     "Badass Mere!" Luis pounds our fists together in praise. I laugh as I look back at the memory. Heck, if I was her I'd be scared shitless too.

     "She messed with the wrong prego lady," I mumble.

     "No shit," Jake muttered.

     Yet another contraction washes over me. I squeeze the frame of the bed and whimper.

     "Mere!" I look over to Luis, he hands me his cellphone and I hold it to my ear.

     "Baby? Hey, are you okay?"  Oh my god, Reid.

     "Reid! Where are you? I need you!"

     "Shh, shh babygirl. I'm on my way right now," I hear him yell, 'step on it' to the Ryan. "We're 5 minutes away, honey. I'm so sorry I'm not there with you."

     "I need—it hurts, I-I need you!" I whimper and salty tears touch my lips.

     "I'm coming, baby! Okay?"

     I nod, but remember that he can't see me. "Okay!"

     "I love you, angel."

     "I love you too!"

     I reluctantly hand the phone back to Luis and attempt to even out my breathes. The doctor, I assume, enters the room. She looks vaguely familiar . . . I just can't put my finger on it. She snaps her glove against her wrist and stands next to my bed.

     "Meredith, I'm Dr. Beverly, remember?" I think before realization dawns me. She's the doctor that aided me after I was raped.  "I'm going to do a quick dilation check, okay?" I nod and she moves to the foot of the bed. Everyone that stands near there shifts closer to me, giving me some sort of privacy.

     "I need to push!" I exclaim through gritted teeth. The urge is immense and out of my control.

     "No, not yet! You'll tear the tissue. As soon as you get to 10, we can begin pushing. Now, on a scale of 1-10, how is your pain?"

     "7 or 8," I say through the lump in my throat.

     "Okay . . . you're at 5 centimeters." She takes off her gloves as she stands and tosses them into the waste bin. "I'm going to get a couple nurses to come in here and prep you."

     "Where is he!" I scream through my contraction. I'm beyond irritated because he said he'd be here in 5 minutes. It's been at least an hour. Maybe he hit traffic?

     "Reid . . . where's Reid?" I sob. Luis squeezes my hand while Holly rubs my sweaty forehead.

     I know everyone is just as lost as I am in the situation.

     Dr. Beverly returns. "How are you Meredith?"

     "Horrible!"

     "Alright, well I'm going to check your cervix again," she snaps on another pair of gloves and inserts her fingers in me.

     "You're at 10 honey, it's time to start pushing."

     "No! No! I can't . . . Reid's not here, I'm not doing this without him!" I whimper through my pain. No matter how hard it is to talk, I manage to get this sentence to them.

     "Mariposa, he's not here yet," Luis whispers gently. "We're not going anywhere, okay? We're going to stay by your side."

     "Where is the father exactly?" Dr. Beverly asks in curiosity.

     "I'm here!" Enter Reid, sweating and frustrated yet relieved to finally be here. Dr. Beverly makes an 'O' shape with her lips when she realizes it's Reid's baby.

     "Reid!" He races to my side and kisses my sweaty forehead where tendrils of my hair has matted itself to.

     "Meredith, push!" The nurse urges. I finally start to push. The pain that was once absolutely excruciating, is slightly subsided with the push.

     "C'mon babygirl, you can do this," Reid reassures me. He rubs my thigh soothingly as I push. His fingers tangled in mine give me something to grip on.

     "It burns! Get it out of me!" I scream as I push again.

     "Slow down honey! This needs to go slow so you won't injure yourself. Take deep breathes," A nurse tells me.

     It seems like an eternity before the doctor announces the baby's head is completely out and there is a great relief from the pressure. I'm physically exhausted but I can't give up.

     "Okay Meredith. This is it, one more big push and we have a baby!" Dr. Beverly maneuvers her hands around the baby's head.

     "Push, babygirl! Take my strength, it's yours to have." Reid encourages me. My other family in the room gather around my bed and do the same.

     I give one more push, probably the biggest one yet. I use all the strength I have left in my body. My whole uterus is on fire right now. I feel muscles contract and the little life exit my womb.

     Everyone around me gasps, and the little symphony of cries from my baby fills the room.

     I sigh in relief and exhaustion. I slump my head against Reid arm and I catch him staring at me.

     "Congratulations! It's a baby boy!" The nurse lays my boy on my chest. He wails and fusses around while I caress his smooth skin with the waxy vernix.

     He's absolutely perfect.

     "Shh, shh," I croon.

     "He's handsome," Reid mumbles in our little bubble. I break my gaze from my child and watch as tears roll down Reid's cheek.

     I've only seen him cry once, when he took me to the beach and opened up about his mom.

     "My god, angel. We made that, that's ours!" Reid peppers my face in kisses.

     "Yeah," I glance back at my swaddled baby against my chest, now fast asleep. "We did."

      "What's his name?" Holly asks in excitement.

     We had already discussed baby names beforehand, but one from each gender stuck out to use the most. Reid and I share a quick glance before turning to all our family.

     "Josiah, Josiah Eli Taylor."

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