62 | Gravity

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I can't believe that I let him hold me again when I broke down. I must admit that his being here makes my heart at ease while Derek is on the run.

I watch as he sits at the desk in the guest bedroom, opening his laptop, while I prepare my breakfast. I don't know if he already had one or not, but there's nothing wrong with preparing the food for him as well. I hear him talking to a person on the phone about some academic projects. It's too early in the morning to talk about that -- it might be something urgent.

Then I remember that he's supposed to start his internship in the oil company -- the one I visited when I brought him the notebook. That time, he told me that it would start in three months after he passed his interview -- which is around this month. Is he postponing the start date? Because of me?

My heart sinks as I think again about the circumstances that I'm in. I've been right all along. Our future doesn't work together. Mine will be a hindrance to him. I'll only be a burden to him. To his bright future.

I'm too occupied in my thoughts while preparing the omelettes that I don't realize him stepping out of the guest bedroom. Finally feeling his eyes on me for quite a while, I clear my throat.

I glance at him, who's still not throwing his gaze away from me. "You might be really hungry, but you're making me uncomfortable if you keep staring at me like that."

He finally looks away and sighs, raking his fingers through his hair. "I'm sorry," he says. "It's just... It's a sight I haven't seen for quite some time."

Right. Me preparing breakfast in the kitchen for us.

Things can't be more awkward.

I decide to throw some small talks to lighten the atmosphere. "Is there any other dish you would like to have?"

He turns to look at me again. "You know what I like for breakfast."

I freeze for a while from hearing that sentence. When he puts it like that...

Every time he spoke about his favorite breakfast, he always meant something entirely different, something that always led me to moan his name while he ravished me against the kitchen counter.

I suddenly choke, and it's not because of the smoke from the cooking. Silently, I curse. When I glance at him again, I find that he's letting out a small chuckle.

Damn. There's actually nothing wrong with his answer. 'You know what I like for breakfast'. It's a completely fine sentence. It can mean omelettes, pancakes, cereal and other foods. I'm so sinful to have such a dirty mind!

"Is there something wrong?" His tone is playful when he asks me, and I hate that. "You look like you're feeling a sudden change in the temperature." His sentence now makes me automatically turn off the stove, and that's silly. "Is it getting hot?" he keeps teasing me.

Indeed, I feel my cheeks heating up and the air getting hot, just from hearing him say about his favorite breakfast. "It's just... " I whisper. "When you put your answer like that, I can't help but think about... what we did..." I falter, my fingers grazing my neck as a soft sigh escapes my lips. I bet that he can see the crimson blushes on my cheeks now.

"Shit. You're right. It's getting hot in here," he hisses, surprising me. I turn my head toward him and see him looking the other way, shaking his collar, as if trying to loosen it, as if my words and gestures have affected him the same way.

I quickly turn around and squeeze my eyes shut. Stupid me. I didn't mean to turn him on.

Deciding to just finish preparing the food as soon as possible, I look for the plates. Unfortunately, the remaining ones are still stored inside the higher cabinet. I tiptoe, trying to reach them.

"Let me help you," Vaughn says, approaching me from behind. I feel his chest pressing my back as he helps me putting the plates down.

My heartbeat starts to increase from feeling his body close to mine again. He stays in this position for a while, and I even think that he's smelling my hair. It smells like my favorite strawberry shampoo.

I swallow, hating the fact that I'm wearing an off-the-shoulder top that allows him to have access to my bare neck and shoulder, not to mention that my hair is flipped to one side.

His breath tickles my skin before he presses a soft kiss in between my neck and shoulder, sending electricity through my body and at the same time making it alarmed.

"Vaughn," I warn him.

"Jesus, I'm sorry, Mel," he rasps.

My pulse quickens even more the longer we stay like this. He touches my shoulder and slowly turns me around to face him. And being the coward that I am, I avoid his gaze, looking away.

"Melanie," he whispers. But still, I just can't look at him. I'm scared to do so. Scared to be reminded of my feelings for him. "Why is it that you don't want to look me in the eyes when I talk to you?"

I feel the lump in my throat again.

Because I can't, Vaughn. I'm afraid to fall again. I've already fallen, too deep. And you won't be there to catch me, will you?

You didn't, and I fell at the bottom, so harshly, so roughly that the bruises and wounds haven't even healed until now.

"Look at me," he says, but I still don't comply.

"Why should I?"

"Because I want to look at you, Mel," he whispers, making my heart beat twice.

He softly holds my chin with two fingers and slowly raises it so that I can look up at him.

And when I do, I stare into those intense amber orbs again. I'm drowning in them again. Suddenly, I feel like the world stops moving and that everything only revolves around us, blocking other sounds that reach my ears. And at this moment, he's the only thing that I can see, hear and feel.

"The way you look at me never changed, Melanie," he whispers, and tears threaten to fall from my eyes as the truth hits me hard. The yearning to be with him explode in my chest again.

But something at the back of my mind snaps me. What about my future? The one I've been planning while I'm here. The only hope for me to have a bright and promising one.

What about his future?

"No," my own voice kicks me out of my trance, and the world starts moving again, other sounds that were blocked by him now reaching my ears again.

I push him away, ignoring the pain crossing his expression, and walk away from him. Fighting the urge to go back to him, I make my way toward my bedroom upstairs, leaving him alone with the breakfast I've made for both of us.

A desperate sigh leaves my lips. I don't know how I'm going to survive the remaining days until Derek is caught again. It's only day one, and I already let him affect me this much.


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