C H A P T E R
F O R T Y - F I V E

          "I wasn't even tripping on the fact that she was with another nigga, I honestly felt no way about that especially since I been doing my own thing with Crystal. But to bring the shit around my kid and its a nigga I don't know that's where the issue comes into play." Ahmad expressed to Marcus, Shaun and Dave as they all sat around in Shaun's house after work.

"I agree, Cali should have known better though. Like what exactly was she even thinking to do some shit like that? So many things could have went wrong and she lucky it didn't." Marcus stated trying to wrap his mind around Cali's logical thinking as to what made her think bringing another man around her kid without consulting Ahmad was okay.

"She wasn't thinking, that's the point. She ain't been thinking or using her head these passed few months and I just hope soon she gets it together for the sake of herself and our kids. I worry about her constantly cause I know this isn't the same woman I fell in love with, she changed and I ain't gon' even front it hurts to see it." He admitted.

The guys nodded, "It does, but shit how did the meeting go yesterday with y'all lawyers?"

"The meeting was cool, I didn't want this to get any messier, so I tried my best to keep things cordial. I'm letting her keep the house and we're still gonna rotate weeks with the kids, but we might make it where its every two weeks instead of weekly. She wasn't tryna nail me or anything, she just agreed to everything I stated would be beneficial for all of us and I told her since I am the one who wants the divorce I'll pay for it." He explained.

"But she caused this decision of divorce so shouldn't she have to pay? If she hadn't cheated you two wouldn't be here." Marcus questioned.

Ahmad sighed. "I mean true, but I am the one who filed so I just feel its best I finish what I started. We all know she doesn't want a divorce, but I do and since this is something I want then regardless of what lead me to getting one I should pay for it."

"I respect that, but overrall how are you feeling? I mean we all know you saving face right now, but we know deep down this shit killing you," Shaun stated as he entered the room with Nolan in his arms to give Alisha a break from upstairs.

"During the whole meeting I was just in shock still mentally that Cali and I was sitting here discussing divorce plans, because in all honesty I didn't see that with us. I planned to be with this woman forever and I invested so much into us, and to see it all just end hurts like hell." He admitted. "But at the end of day, if I stayed emotionally and mentally I wouldn't be doing myself a favor. I don't trust Cali, and I'm not exactly sure as to when I ever will trust her again."

"Plus I don' started this whole thing with Crystal and I'm actually surprised I'm being this open to love so easily with her and I'm enjoying the time I spend with her. I'm in a better place than I was almost eight months ago and I wanna continue to get better each day." Ahmad expressed reassuring that he was gonna be okay.

"I got a question for you though." Marcus said as he sat forward catching the attention of all the guys.

"What?"

Clearing his throat, Ahmad waited patiently to see what question he had to ask. "Do you feel like you're only falling this fast for Crystal to fill that void of what you really want and miss from what you had with Cali? And I only ask you this because like you said, this isn't like you and I'm happy that you're happy trust me. Seeing you live and smile really makes me happy, but I would really hate for Crystal to get hurt in the middle of all of this due to you using her without even really realizing."

          Later that evening Ahmad was back in his apartment preparing for his shower and to get ready for bed. He had so much already on his mind and at this point all he wanted to do was sleep and forget about his problems for a moment.

After the talk with his boys everything they said had him thinking, so he needed space to get his thoughts together for a moment. In all honesty, Ahmad was just in need of a sign of something. He needed a sign to show him that the decision he was making was right.

He was simply leaving it in the hands of God to direct him towards the correct path to go and follow.

Feeling the urge to do something he hasn't done in a good while, he walked over to the side of his bed getting on his knees. Closing his eyes and clapsing his hands together, he let out a deep sigh before speaking. "Lord, I know I don't pray to you much these days or show my gratitude and appreciation for all that you have done for me over the passed few years and I'm sorry for that. I know I can't even use that life has gotten in the way, because you always make time for me and others with the whole entire world in your hands. So lord, I come to you today putting my life completely in your hands to direct me in the path that I need to follow and to show me a sign that what I am doing is what is best for me. In jesus name, we may ask it all. Amen."

After sitting there for a moment, he eventually stood up to get back to his task at hand.

Walking around his room with just his towel wrapped around his waist he tried to make sure he had everything he needed for his shower, but paused when the sound of his doorbell went off followed by a few soft knocks.

Frowning to himself, he walked out of his room and over to the door sorta confused as to who it could be since he wasn't expecting any company tonight.

Looking through the peep hole to see Crystal standing there as she patiently waited, he smiled to himself before unlocking and opening the door catching her totally by surprise due to his appearance and if she had to admit, he looked good.

Plus his dick print was showing through the towel and she could barely keep her eyes off of it. Clearing the dirty thoughts out of her head, she forced her eyes to look else where knowing that wasn't what she came over here for.

Leaning up against his door frame, he used one of his hands to hold his towel in place so it wouldn't fall and smirked as he stared back at her. "What's up? Whatchu doing here?"

Shrugging her shoulders, she shyly smiled. "I woke up from a much needed nap, thinking about you and I just wanted to come by and check on you to make sure you were okay. Plus I missed you and wanted to see you. Now move and let me in." She admitted making him laugh.

Reaching one hand out, he grabbed a hold of hers and pulled her into his apartment before shutting the door behind him. "I appreciate you coming by, but uh just make yourself at home I'm finna shower and wash my hair then we could just chill and watch a movie ot something."

Watching as she walked into his bedroom, Ahmad couldn't help but stare at her ass in the grey tights she wore since they had her butt lookin' extra fat today. Her entire outfit of just some plain grey tights, an oversized Howard University sweatshirt and some cute fur slides was simple, but yet she still looked good as hell.

Slightly turning around as she took down her high ponytail, Ahmad stopped and waited for whatever she was about to say. "Mind if I join you?"

When he shook his head no, she began removing her clothes piece by piece watching as his eyes never once left her or her body. When she got down to her bra and panties, Ahmad stepped forward dropping his towel in the process to help her take those off.

He had her face away from him and she slightly flinched once his cold finger tips came into comtact with her skin, when grabbed the hook of her bra unhooking it. Sliding the straps off her shoulder, he stepped a little closer to her moving her hair to one side before he started leaving soft kisses down her neck and shoulder.

Her sweet smell of vanilla was intoxicating to say the least and Ahmad found himself just wanting to be wrapped all around her to smell the scent of her and feel the warmth of her body heat up his cold one.

Closing her eyes, she let out a small sigh as his hands danced around her body. She had never craved a man as much as she craved Ahmad and it lowkey scared her because within' just a few months of them dealing with each other he had her hooked onto him.

Besides the sex being amazing with Ahmad, in general Ahmad was just all around amazing. He was funny, sweet, and so down to Earth and all Crystal wanted to do was be here for him and take all the pain he was enduring away.

Reaching one arm around her he slid his hand down her stomach before he reached the rim of her panties sliding his hand inside to pull them down. But due to him pulling them down in the front his fingers brushed up against her lips causing a low moan to leave her mouth.

When her panties dropped down to her feet, she stepped out of them as he took a step a back to grab her hand and lead them to the shower.

Helping her step inside, he got in behind her watching as the water soaked both their bodies up causing his dick to instantly get hard at the sight. Wetting his own hair a little he went to grab his shampoo to help rid his thoughts, but she stopped him and grabbed it instead. "Let me do it for you."

Not going against her, he watched as she poured the substance into her hands before she rose her arms and gently started massaging the shampoo into his scalp. As she lathered up his head and continued with the washing, Ahmad closed his eyes due to it feeling so good and eventually securely wrapped his arms around her waist wanting her as close as possible.

Pressing her naked body closer to his when she had to reach the top of his head he felt her nipple graze his once she stood on her tippy toes, then slowly rose his hand up to her breast and began rubbing and massaging her breast.

Ahmad honestly felt as if he was floating the longer she washed his hair and pressed her body up against his. How she was making him feel in this exact moment was undescribable, she was gentle, yet loving and he didn't want the feeling or moment to end.

But in all honesty, Crystal just wanted to make him feel as good as possible. She knew these past few weeks have been hard on him with everything dealing with Cali and she just wanted to help take his mind off things for a moment.

She could only imagine how it must have felt to leave someone you planned to be with forever, so she gave him the space he needed and was there for him whenever he needed her to be.

Once she was done lathering up his hair, she took a step back and forced him to turn around so his back was facing her.

Grabbing his towel and dove soap he had for men, she got his towel all soapy and began bathing his backside and used her body to spread the soap more as she pressed and rubbed up against him.

Ahmad almost became overwhelmed from the love he was receiving and felt himself about to start crying from how happy he was feeling from her doing all this, but he refrained from doing so.

He wasn't sure if it was love that he was feeling or a strong like towards Crystal, but he in all reality he did appreciate her.

Reaching around him she bathed down his chest and made her way down to his dick and softly rubbed over it, stroking it a little with the towel causing it to stiffen and earn a low groan in return.

Once he was covered in soap from head to toe, she stood him directly under the shower head and rinsed him clean while kissing his back and chest ever so often.

When he was rinsed clean she wrapped her arms around him and stood on her tippy toes as they shared a lustful kiss with one another while pulling each other as close as possible.

When Ahmad suddenly pulled away and just wrapped her in his arms and hugged her tightly, she relaxed under his touch but frowned once she felt what felt like tears hitting her shoulder. Leaning her head back to look at him, she could see the tears falling and her heartbroke at the sight.

Stepping on her tip toes, she kissed away his tears along with kissing every inch of his face before whispering, "I'm here," in his ear and all Ahmad could do was wrap her closer and continue to finally let out all the emotions he has been bottling in.

He tried to make it seem as if a lot of things weren't bothering him, but in reality everything that was going on was killing him. Yes, he found happiness within' himself and learned to love himself but he still had so many questions and thoughts.

He thought he had life figured out, he thought Cali was suppose to be the one he spent forever with but now he has Crystal and he's wasn't even quite sure if she's indeed the woman for him or what. But he did take her being here as a sign and like he stated before he was just gonna continue to let God direct his life.

Ahmad just simply didn't expect none of this to happen, and was just drained from it all. He was just ready for his happy ending to finally come and he could just go on and live his life with whoever God created strictly for him whether it be Crystal or not.

After their intimate shower together, they stood in the kitchen together talking along with dancing to Earth, Wind and Fire ultimate classic song, "Let's Groove," while Ahmad cooked them up something to eat for the night.

"But nah on a serious note, I really been talking about taking a vacation for a good minute and I think its time I actually sit and plan for one. Like, I just need a break from everything for a moment."

Stopping mid-dance, she focused in on him. "Where are you tryna go?"

He shrugged. "Shit, I'm tryna go to Mexico or something, I just need to get out of here so any place would be better than here." He expressed as he turned over the fried porkchops he was making.

"Oou, Cabo or Cancun would be real nice to go. My cousin and her husband went for their honeymoon and fell in love with how beautiful it was there." She stated as she walked over towards him from behind him.

"Yeah, those places don't sound too bad."

Wrapping her arms around his torso, she kissed his back before peeking her head around him. "But are you tryna make this a solo trip with just yourself or?"

"You coming with me no doubt, but it could also be a group thing or a dolo thing, we could make it like a couples retreat or something. I could see if my boys would wanna come with their women and we all just take a little vacation together." He shrugged just throwing out ideas, but Crystal frowned.

"Are you sure your friends would want me tagging along since they're so used to Cali and you being together? I ain't tryna make things awkward or cause any beef. Because trust me, I might be small, but these hands ain't scared of nobody." She stated voicing her concerns,

Turning the burner down, Ahmad thought about what she said and knew she had a point. Due to basically everybody being cliqued up he knew the girls would more than likely give Crystal a hard time and being who he is, he didn't feel like checking or slapping some sense into one of his friends for talking slick.

Crystal was good people and he would hate for the women to ruin her trip by being petty and childish.

"I wouldn't let any of them disrespect you or make you feel uncomfortable either, shit they all family but I'll give out ass whoopings to anybody if it came down to it. But shit, it could just be me, you, Dave and Shanice. How that sound?" He questioned as he turned to face her.

"Shanice is my girl and I like Dave, so I'm cool with that." She shrugged.

"Bet, so Cabo or Cancun?" He questioned.

"I think Cabo would be more romantic for the four of us, but when are we gonna go? Tae knows a good travel agent who can hook us up with affordable flights and rooms." She suggested.

"Yo birthday in three months, so that gives us three months to plan and save up for it."

Smiling, she stood on her tip toes to kiss him. "I'm so excited, I can't wait."

Justin and Amir walked inside the orphanage holding hands as the lady who basically raised all these kids directed them to where they were all located. "It's about twenty boys and girls here ranging from all ages. I have two seventeen year old boys here, who often help me with the younger ones. We just recently got two siblings come in ages three and five, mother and father just woke up one day and decided to not to be parents. Dropped the kids off at daycare and never came back."

Justin shared a look towards Amir feeling sorry for the kids, "That is so sad."

She nodded agreeing as they approached the room where all the kids were sitting around coloring and talking while who they guessed to be the seventeen year olds helped them.

"A lot of these kids have witnessed a lot of things at very young ages, but they're all so amazing and unique in their own special way. I know they tell us orphanage caretakers not to get attached to the kids cause one day they'll all be gone, but its hard not too. I love and care for all these kids here and each day I try my best to find them good homes." She expressed as they watched them through the glass window.

"What's her story?" Amir questioned as he pointed to the little girl who was sitting off to the side from everybody coloring.

"That's my sweetie pie Kaycie, she's a little shy but so loveable. She actually lost her parents in an armed robbery situation. The guy broke into their house spotted her parents sitting on the couch and instead of fleeing the scene once he saw he had been caught, he shot and killed them." She explained and both Amir and Justin shook their heads.

Just within' the few minutes of them being here they just wanted to take all the kids home with them if they could and the longer they were there and found out more about each kid, the decision to choose one was becoming harder.

"How old is she?"

"She just had a birthday recently so she's three now."

Justin and Amir smiled as they watched her, "She's beautiful."

"Yeah she is, but come on my office is this way so we can discussing exactly what you're guys are in search of."

Following behind her, they admired how colorful and welcoming the orphanage looked. They were expecting some dull looking place and a woman who could careless about the kids, but it was obvious this woman truly cared each and every one those kids here.

Approaching her office, she let them walk in first and take their seats before coming in and shutting the door behind them and taking her seat. "Okay, so we're all aware that you guys are wanting to adopt a child so what I need to know now .. is what exactly are you guys in search of?" She questioned as she opened up a binder and adjusted her glasses.

"We both were suggesting getting a boy, but I don't know now something about that beautiful little girl Kaycie just draws me to her." Amir stated and Justin nodded agreeing.

The lady smiled, "Are you two thinking about adopting her?" She asked and they both shared a look between one another before nodding.

"Okay great, so I am aware that you guys have passed all inspections and have been approved by the state that you two are more than capable of taking in a child. But sadly, this long process doesn't end here. The transition of once the child is placed in your home can take up to three to twelve-months. The transition is basically where her caseworker does frequent drop bys to make sure the child is comfortable and no sign of neglect is being shown." She explained as she stood to grab a folder full of paper work to sign and