C H A P T E R 15

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Author's Note : So hi guys, I noticed I messed up on the time that Amira had been gone. It's actually been Four years, I went back and read a few chapters in book 1 and noticed my mistake so don't be confused when I say four years instead of three this chapter (Sorry for the confusion).

Ahmad & Armoni in MM
(She lowkey favors him, but maybe thats just me lol).

C H A P T E R
F I F T E E N

"S-she's here baby, she's alive." Cali rushed out.

Ahmad stood there for a moment trying to process exactly what Cali just told him. He knew Cali wasn't the type to joke whenever it came to Amira because she knew how her death affected him but at this moment he didn't believe her. "Fuck is you talkin' bout Cal? Don't—Don't play with me babe, please not now, this ain't no time for games .. just let me mourn in peace. If this is a joke save it."

Cali sighed stepping towards him, "Ahmad, I promise you on everything that I love that I am not fucking around right now. I wouldn't play or joke about something so serious. She's literally in our living room right now at this moment with Twan."

Studying her face, he saw the look in Cali's eyes letting him know she was indeed telling the truth but he was confused. He felt it was impossible for her to be here, she was dead and that was that and he knew this.. everyone knew this. "How?" was all he could ask.

He knew Cali probably didn't have the answers but the question just spilled out on its own. He was trying to think straight but everything was just coming so fast and it was hard to take in.

"I honestly don't know how babe or why but whatever the case may be she's here."

Taking a few more deep breaths, he stepped around Cali and headed up the stairs with Cali right on his tail. When he reached the living room he froze right when he saw the back of her, the air in his lungs left .. and he couldn't move.

There she was after four years, in his house alive when he knew and thought she was dead.

But then he thought back to those times when he would think he saw her, and have break downs. He just assumed this was just another one of those moments still not believing she was actually here. But it did make him question how could Cali see her this time when other times she couldn't.

He wasn't sure what to think at this point..

Cali stood beside him watching his every move, and when she saw his knees buck she immediately reached out and caught him before he fell holding him in her arms as he began to cry.

Holding onto Cali legs for dear life, his shoulders shook as his tears of saddness streamed down his cheeks. "S-she's not here man, she's gone and I know this. We all know this.."

"Ahmad—"

"Nah," Wiping his tears roughly, he cut her off and nodded. "..nah I'm just seeing shit, that's all. My mind is just playing tricks on me like always. She can't be here because I know we fucking buried her and I know she also can't be here because I know for a fact that the doctor wouldn't have lied to our fucking faces and tell us she was dead when in reality she wasn't. Right? Right!? This is just me losing my mind right?" He laughed standing to his feet.

Clapping his hands, and laughing at whatever they all watched him. "Woo, this is one hell of a joke that I played on myself. This is my way of mourning over the death of you, yeah thats it. She can't be here man, she can't." He spat switching moods quick as he sent a punch to the wall leaving his handprint in it now becoming pissed.

He was tired with his mind fucking with him. He was tired of feeling crazy especially when shit in his life was going good for him and Cal. He pushed away from Cali gently, and just stared at Amira who was now looking his way as they locked eyes.

She saw the love, hurt and confusion laced in his eyes but she was also scared to say anything due to the way his jaw clenched and the way his fists were balled up.

Shaking his head, a single tear fell and that started a whole new stream of more tears to fall. "I know as a person I'm fucked up mentally and emotionally but I thought I was getting better .. I thought these days were over for me. I want to believe you're here Amira, I want this to be real life but I know its not. People like us don't get second chances, I already failed you as a big brother by not protecting you and watching over you the way I was suppose too and I have to live with that on my heart for the rest of my life. I'm sorry baby girl, if this is my mind way of telling me to face my fuck ups then so be it .. Losing you was the biggest fuck up I ever made.. I shouldn't have left you that night, I-I was suppose to be there .. I felt that shit in my gut that something was wrong and I ignored it and now you're gone and even though somehow you're sitting here in my head .. I know you aren't returning." He cried, standing there for a few more seconds just staring at his beautiful baby sister, he eventually turned to kiss Cali on the forehead then walked out of the living room into their bedroom and shut the door behind him.

He needed a moment to get himself together, he just needed to be alone for a second before he did something stupid and completely lost his mind again.

Amira stood up and slowly walked towards where Cali was at watching as she broke down in tears. She had never witnessed Ahmad so emotional and it honestly didn't make her feel good. "J-just give him time, I don't know what's going on and I'm just as confused as Ahmad but whatever the case may be .. I'm so happy you're alive and here, he um took your death really hard .. and even though he claimed to be happy once he moved passed it .. I always knew deep down he wasn't .. He always took blame for your death because you died under his watch and I witnessed so many things during that time and I honestly still don't see how I got him out of that depression but somehow I did.. he didn't sleep, he didn't eat .. He even tried to kill himself once and we got through that together and I will be here for him through this as well.. just give him a minute he'll come around eventually. I promise."

Amira nodded, "I'm sorry if my return caused any problems .. It's so much I have to explain to him and my parents."

Grabbing her hands, Cali just smiled. "If anything your return solved a major problem for Ahmad and your family. I'll have a word with him just stay out here and relax .. and once I get him to calm down we'll have a sit down so you can explain everything from the very beginning okay? Wipe your tears, everything is going to be okay. Ahmad will be okay."

Amira relunctantly nodded then reached out and hugged Cali. "I knew you were perfect for him, thank you Cali."

Smiling small, Cali pulled away as Amira went back to the couch where Twan and their daughter sat silently. Wrapping his arm over her shoulder, he kissed her forehead pulling her into him more.

Excusing herself, Cali walked towards the bedroom pushing the door open to see Ahmad sitting on the floor with his back pressed against the side of the bed with his hands covering his face.

Taking a seat beside him she noticed the bottle of pills sitting beside his leg. Closing her eyes, she sighed. "I didn't take any, I thought about it but I didn't." He mumbled already knowing she was thinking he did.

Laying her head on his shoulder, she pulled his hands from over his face grabbing his left hand intertwining their fingers.

Silence took over the room as they both just sat there in deep thought.

Cali couldn't help but think back to the days Ahmad suffered from her death while they sat in silence. She thought back to the many nights Ahmad spent crying himself to sleep in her bed and arms over the death of his sister, she remembered how depressed he was and the thoughts of suicide that always came to mind. She remembered finding him in that tub under the water wanting to die, those images of him would never leave her mind and til this day she still worried that he might reach that breaking point again to where he would want to rather die than live.

Using the spare key Ahmad gave her to use since half the time he never felt like getting out of bed. Cali stepped inside his condo to see his once clean apartment was now tore up like a tornado just ran through and destroyed the place.

Broken pieces of glass were all over the floor, along with empty bottles of liqour that were scattered around and fear sanked in her heart. She looked at all of the pictures of Amira and his family that laid on his coffee table and couch all over the place knowing he must have had a break down.

She had only been gon' a couple of hours since she had one clients head to do today, but she didn't expect to come back to this. But she now regretted even leaving him alone.

She thought he was making progress, she thought he was getting better but this only confirmed that she and him had a long way to go until he was completely better.

"Ahmad?—Where are you?" She called out in hopes of getting a reply but she was only met with silence, but the silence came to a stop once she started to hear music playing.

She followed the sound of the music to see where it was coming from then stopped right in front of his bedroom door pressing her ear against it to hear the song Eternal Sunshine by Jhene Aiko playing. Twisting the door knob to step inside she cursed under her breath seeing that it was locked and that fear she was already feeling got bigger.

Knocking rapidly, and yelling his name she wished he would just open the door but after a minute of nothing she started to panic. Taking off towards the door she left out and went straight to Marcus's apartment and banged on his door but when she got no response she looked over the staircase rail to see that his car was gone meaning he wasn't home.

"Fuck, this can't be happening right now," She mumbled to herself before stepping back in his apartment. Grabbing her purse that she had dropped by the door she reached inside it and grabbed a credit card to help get the door to open.

Walking back to his door she squatted down and went to work.

Inside the room Ahmad stood in his bathroom looking in the mirror at his reflection as tears trickled down his cheeks. He glanced over at the tub that was filling up with water then took a gulp out of the bottle of Hennessy he had before throwing it down and watching it shatter at his feet.

"I should have never left you Amira, I didn't do my job as a big brother. I was suppose to protect you and I didn't. I let you down and I'm sorry." He cried.

Walking over to the rub, he ignored the pain that was coming from him stepping on the glass then stepped into the tub of water, he closed his eyes just wanting to be free and escape away from the pain for once. He was tired of feeling like this, and he just wanted his sister back but he knew she wasn't returning.. so he was going to go be with her.

Laying down in the water, he closed his eyes and let the water just fill up and wash his sorrows away so in the end he could be with Amira again.

Outside his room door, Cali was still struggling to get the door open with her card but after a few more tries the credit card worked and she was finally inside only to witness that the room was worst than the living room.

She heard the bath tub running so she immediately took off towards it and the sight before her broke her heart. "Ahmad baby, please no," Getting down on her knees she lifted his heavy body out of the water glad that it hadn't overflowed yet meaning he hadn't been in there long.

Rising up she used all the strength she had to get him completely out of the water as the tears kept flowing down her face. She laid him on his back and began doing CPR instantly. "Come on baby, get up. You can't end it like this." She whispered pumping his chest at a rapid speed.

After nothing changed and he still laid there lifeless. She started to panic a little in the inside but she didn't give up, she kept checking for a pulse and kept performing CPR. He couldn't die like this, she had to save him so she kept trying and kept trying.

Feeling a little defeated, she knew she had to call for help. Grabbing her phone from her back pocket she called 9-1-1 but put the phone on speaker so she could continue to do CPR.

"9-1-1 what's your emergency?"

"My boyfriend has tried to committ suicide by drowning himself and he's unconcious at the moment. I've tried doing CPR but nothing is working. Can you please send a paramedic .. I-I can't lose him." She cried.

"Just remain calm okay? Where are you located sweetie? I'll have someone come right out .."

Giving her the address and apartment number, the operator promised her help was on the way but wanted Cali to stay on the line. "Continue to perform CPR until paramedics arrive, and make sure that pulse doesn't end and if it does don't stop just keep doing what you have been doing sweetie,"

Cali listened to the womans words and kept going. She even did mouth to mouth just praying that he would wake up. Cali had never prayed so hard in her life, but she had so much faith in Ahmad that he could get better and do great things and she didn't want to see it end here. She saw his potential, and she saw his strive to be happy and she wanted him to get there one day.

When he finally started coughing up water, and his eyes started to open she helped him sit up and cradled him in her arms as his body shook from being cold and wet. Her salty tears fell on him as she hugged him close not wanting to let go just from the thought that within' minutes he could have been gone forever and out of her life just like that.

She explained to the lady that he was now awake, and the lady went on to explain that they both still needed to wait for the paramedics to check him out and make sure everything was okay.

Hanging up the phone Cali, sat on the middle of his bathroom floor with her back against the wall and his cold fragile body laid across her lap, as she silently thanked God for waking him up.

It broke her heart, knowing that he thought death was the answer to his problems. She had never experienced anything like this before, she had never been so scared and stuck. If he didn't wake up, Cali wasn't sure what she would have done, but something in her just kept telling her to keep trying.

She noticed he was breathing too fast, so she leaned forward placing small sensual kisses along side his face, "Breathe slowly baby, just calm down okay?" She said in a soothing tone.

Once she got him to relax and steady his breathing, he struggled out a small, "I'm sorry," but she just shushed him and told him help was soon on the way while patting him on his back and holding him in her arms.

In that exact moment she knew what she felt towards Ahmad ran deeper than she thought. She had indeed fell for him and she didn't want to lose him ever so she was going to do whatever it takes to be there for him and help build him up so he would never have to feel like death is the only answer and way to escape pain.

She wanted to be his escape place, and his peace of mind.

She witnessed a whole different side of Ahmad that she helped him get out of by the grace of God. She remembered it all and to see now that Amira was never really dead and that Ahmad or his family could have never suffered the way they did for the past four years.. she needed answers and quick.

She even sometimes wondered what would life be like if she never showed up or came in a minute too late. A lot of times at night while he was sleeping, she would just lay on her side and stare at him and imagine her life without him and each time she would cry knowing she couldn't handle it.

She loved him, that was obvious. He was her everything, he was her other half and Ahmad felt the same about her. They heard a lot of people say things like in a marriage its always that one person who loves the other more or fell harder but in Cali and Ahmad's eyes they felt their love for one another was the same.

Both Ahmad and Cali knew if they were to separate, which they hoped never happened they knew they wouldn't love anybody the same way they loved each other. No one could compete with Ahmad and no female definitely couldn't compete with Cali.

He knew he had the best of the best out there, and it didn't matter how pretty or thick the next chick may be .. at the end of the day they could never be his Cali, so they would never have a chance.

Ahmad was far from perfect, he had many problems and issues but one thing he wanted to keep solid and to keep strong was his marriage and he was never going to jeopardize all that he built with her behind something that meant nothing, it wasn't in his character to do so and he didn't see how some men do it.

"I'm really not losing my mind huh? She's really here?" He blurted out after a long moment of silence.

Looking up at him, Cali touched the side of his face nodding her head yes. "But how is this shit even possible Cal?"

"I don't know baby, I really don't. I'm just as confused as you are. But look at the positive side of it .. she's back just like you always wanted."

He looked away, "But it doesn't feel right, like is this shit normal to you Cal? Its been four years, four years and she just turns up alive around the sametime she died .. and you know how I get feelings about certain things and this shit seem off man ..something ain't right."

"What are you saying Ahmad? You think she faked her death?"

He shrugged, "I don't know what I'm saying, my mind is all over the place with this. Like I don't think she would fake her death, like I really don't see Amira doing no shit like that but then again I don't know."

"Well we can ask her all the questions we want so we can know how she is back and move forward from there. I know you're curious to know what all has happened and where she has been for the past four years."

"Just give me a minute and I'll be out there."

Leaning over she kissed his lips then hugged him tightly. "I love you,"

Resting his forehead against hers, he smiled. "I love you, and I appreciate you for putting up with my crazy ass."

"Its all out of love, I wouldn't do this for anybody else but you."

Standing to her feet, she walked out of the room leaving him alone. "He'll be out in a second, are you guys hungry or anything? I can cook something real quick."

"Nah we're fine, we already ate at my house." Twan answered.

Cali nodded, then took a seat on the love seat. Looking around her living room as if she hadn't seen it before she played with her fingers nervously.

The sound of a door opening caught their attention and soon her kids all came walking out. "Where's our snack?" Marquetted asked holding both of his siblings hands.

Cali couldn't help but laugh, "Come speak to your Auntie first then y'all can go pick out a snack in the pantry." She explained standing to her feet to guide them towards her. "Marquette, Armoni and Adrian this is your Aunt Mira. Go say hi." She introduced as they all slowly walked over towards her.

Amira smiled, "You guys are so beautiful and handsome," She cheesed amazed at how much they favored

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