Late but I'm here.....

Sounds of laughter led them to where the rest were sitting at the back of the house, the garden that Khadijah has customized months ago and was presently decorated with flowers and many other things for the event. They didn’t have a theme but if they were to have one, she said it would be green to compliment her new love for gardening and everything green.

“No, it is absolutely disgusting, they act like cats.” Layla shuddered glaring at Khadijah and Fahad that were sharing a seat and more or less cuddling.

“You sound bitter,” Farhan was the one that replied.

Not that he supported how touchy they were but because he was fighting with Layla for saying Fahad was better with babies, apparently him mentioning Fahad has never held a baby in his life wasn’t going to help the fact that he changed Aasad faster and more efficiently than him.

“You’re just being unfair.” He rolled his eyes but didn’t say anything more.

Kamla walked back in with Aasad on her right shoulder fast asleep, she shook her head when Farhan tried to take him saying he would wake up.

“Don’t you see that?” Fahad pointed at the two that were giving each other googly eyes.

“See what? You two are disgusting.” She squeezed her face in distaste, looking like a petulant child when denied something they want.

“Layla, no negative words. We have a baby here.” She glared at her best friend who sent her a sweet smile. “It is our anniversary Layla please, let us be at peace.”

“Fine, keep acting like cold kittens.” Everyone laughed except her.

Fahad got up making her sigh in relief and walked to the door where he knew Adnan and his other siblings would be. It wasn’t beyond them to fly from London for an anniversary that they aren’t even going to celebrate.

Huda was the first person she saw and she squealed before jumping into his open arms, he held her tightly.

“I missed you so much hamma, so much.” When she moved back which was Aneesah’s doing, he pecked her forehead still his hand holding her close.

“I missed you too my love, I missed you so much.” She smiled broadly at him. That was the longest she has gone without seeing him, a whole year. He was supposed to fly with Khadijah for eid but something came up and his parents thought it best if they just stayed back.

“Move over, let me hug him too.” Aneesah spoke then hugged him too, what she called a mature manner because being twenty wasn’t a kid’s job, they’ve been hearing that for months.

“You look lovely Neena, so pretty.” She did a twirl.

“I’m going to go and see Adda, bye.” Her eyes widened and she almost tripped when she heard that, she ignored her brother and ran inside following Huda.

“I never thought I would actually say this but you look nice hamma, the beards look great.” He rolled his eyes at Ja’afar and pulled Nabila to him. Nothing has changed with her up till then, she was still the only calm one in the family since even Adnan speaks a lot.

“Adda, my almighty Allah. I’ve never met someone as pretty as you,” she hugged Khadijah before running off and taking Aasad who woke up hearing the noise, his eyes were taking everything in and when he saw so many faces he started wailing.

“I’m good with kids wait and see.” Huda boasted and started rocking him, like that he stopped crying finding interest in her dangling earrings.

“I didn’t know you guys were coming,” Khadijah said still holding Aneesah’s hand.

Finally having something to boast about, Layla sat up with her shoulders squared and said; “Oh I knew, we actually wanted to surprise you and that is your anniversary gift, I’m officially broke since I resigned from the company.”

“You are not broke and I still want a gift,” she turned to the new comers that have found where to sit. “Thank you all for coming it means so much.”

“You cakes are worth it, adda I swear.” Ja’afar smiled in a charming way.

“I’ll have to make you one then,” he fist pumped the air before relaxing back in his chair.

They all sat and ate the food they ordered from Dahlia’s, after dinner and after the rest have left, even Adnan because he was too old to be living with his brother and Ja’afar who said it was his in law’s place, Nabila followed though Khadijah tried to make her change her mind but apparently they couldn’t be left alone because they forget to close anywhere, they settled in to watch a movie when Aneesah said she was going to give them her gift.

“It beats all their gifts I promise,” they didn’t doubt it. “Hamma can you please connect this to the TV?”

“Is that the gift?” she nodded and he took it from her then did what she wanted. He showed her how to control it before taking his seat again, this time keeping a distance between him and Khadijah though they were still quite close since it didn’t take much to rest her head on his shoulder.

She pressed on it for a bit then tapped on a video, she pressed pause before it started playing and took her popcorn bowl and her drink before plopping down on the chair they changed about two months ago, not because Fahad broke it but he almost did. Khadijah didnt even want to think of the episode.

A soft song started playing and their wedding picture was shown on the screen, the only picture she could say they had together from that day since it hadn’t gone how they wanted.

A video came up next and Khadijah sat up seeing it was him at an interview he had before their first anniversary, she remembered when he’d travelled.

The interviewer had asked him a question but it was cut from it, his answer though wasn’t.

“My wife actually, she makes everything better.”

She felt warm when she heard that and reached for his hand before intertwining it and gave it a gentle squeeze. About five more videos came up, all different and all you could hear was my wife. The next one was of Khadijah and it was videos of her either smiling at her phone or on the phone with a smile on her face, videos of her either saying Fahad most of them video calls where she is talking about him.

“You didn’t tell me about that.” Huda was the first to speak after the screen went black. Aneesah rolled her eyes and smirked.

“I couldn’t tell you all my secrets.” She turned to her brother and Khadijah. “Do you like it?” her eyes were wide waiting for their reply.

“I love it, I really have to ask how you keep getting these videos.”

“Can I have a copy?” she nodded.

“Sure, I’ll send it to your phone.”

“Thank you so much, you’re so talented Aneesah. May Allah increase you in knowledge.” She said ameen doing a happy dance when she returned from picking her hard drive.

“I’m glad you’re here,” she was on her feet when she said that and after hugging both of them she told them goodnight because Sadiya was calling her.

“All the rooms are clean, just pick the one you like.” The nodded and gave her two thumbs up at the same time which made her laugh.

“So, hamma.” Fahad groaned waiting to hear what it is.

“I won’t tell you to sell your fingers, don’t do that.” Huda laughed sitting where Khadijah had been.

“Okay, what do you want? I know you want something.” She nodded sucking in her bottom lips.

“Will you please help me talk to ammie and baba?” he waited for her to keep talking when she paused. “I want to study here in Nigeria, you’re here with adda Amna and mamie and everyone please hamma. You know Manal is also going to university and she said she’ll pick Nile if I’m going to.” Fahad sighed and ran his hand through his hair.

“I’ll have to think about it Noorie, I understand why you would want to go there but I don’t live in Abuja anymore and neither does mamie but we’ll see.” He pecked her forehead.

“I know, of course I thought of that. Hamma Mahmud lives there and adda Layla will probably start her new job there, also ya Afnan lives there with her husband.” He took hold of the hand she was counting with and kept it on her lap.

“I can see that, I’ll still think about it and talk to ammie but I don’t promise they’ll accept.” She nodded and hugged him tightly.

“Thank you so much hamma, I love you so much. You’re my favourite. I’ll come here every weekend I promise.” He only chuckled and nodded.

“Adda Nina you’ll join too right, when you graduate.” She looked up from her phone and shrugged.

“Probably, maybe I’ll work with hamma.”

“I’m going to bed, you’ll switch everything off yeah?” the both nodded then started arguing about what to watch.

He expected to see Khadijah in bed but she was sitting and staring at her phone he had to snap his fingers in her front to gain her attention.

“Everything okay?” she nodded but her mind still wasn’t fully on him.

“I thought you were sleeping, are you sure you’re fine?” she nodded and got up then smiled but it didn’t reach her eyes.

“Yes, I’m just tired.” She walked to the vanity and retied her perfectly tied scarf, she does thinks like that when she is worried or nervous, he didn’t know which it is but she wasn’t okay.

“Babe,” he followed her and stood behind her.

The way he said still had the same effect on her and being so close to him still made her heart race.

“What is wrong? It’s not having Aasad over right?” she nodded and smiled again, this time more real when she heard her newest nephew’s name.

“No, I promise I’m fine. Maybe a hormone shift or something.” He nodded but hesitantly.

All he could remember was when Aasad had been born, she’d cried that night not because she wasn’t happy for them but it reminded her of something she was missing. He didn’t like seeing her that way and it always started from her detaching herself like that.

Giving her a few moments he decided to change and when he walked out of the closet she was looking much better.

“Canim,” he smiled at the name remembering how hard it was to get her to call him something other than Fahad.

“Yes,” she was sitting cross legged on the bed but that didn’t stop him from pulling her to him so her back was pressed to his chest.

“Stop worrying so much about me, I don’t like when you do that. I’m fine I promise.” He nodded and turned her face so she was looking at him.

“I’ll try to stop, but tell me when something is wrong. I can’t help worrying when you go quiet.” She turned so she was facing him then leaned closer to him and brushed her lips over his twice then she tried to move back but he stopped her by gripping her waist.

“That doesn’t buy you freedom now baby,” she raised her brow and circled her hand around his neck.

“Yes?” she licked her lips, playing with the hair at the back of his head.

“Yes, it’s going to take more than that to convince me you’re okay.”

“More?” he pulled her scarf letting the plaited strands of hair free, she laughed trying to get it back but he threw it off the bed and when she moved to get, he pulled her and turned them over so she was under him.

“Fahad,” she said though bouts of laughter. “Your sisters are outside.”

“Exactly,” he murmured against her lips, “outside.” He nuzzled her neck, leaving soft kisses in his wake.

They moved with practice ease until all they could hear was each other.

*****

Khadijah dropped the package on the bathroom counter before stepping back like it burned her, she heard Barr Salima’s voice through the phone asking her if she was fine.

“Yes, yes I’m fine ammie.” She sucked in a sharp breath and rubbed her hands together.

Fahad opened the bedroom door and found her pacing with the phone against her ear. She had acted fine the night before but he could see she wasn’t fine, and she wasn’t talking.

“You’re still not done with ammie?” she paused then looked up and nodded, trying to look normal.

“Did you receive a delivery? The security called.” She nodded again wordlessly.

“I’m going to go and pick Huda and Aneesah up from mamie’s, wanna come with?” she shook her head immediately and told him she’ll be fine.

“I think I’ll just sleep, I’m having a really bad headache.”

“Okay,” he opened one of the drawers and picked the first aid kit pulling out aspirin, he handed it to her and poured her water from the pitcher on the nightstand. “I’ll see if I can get you something sweet from the store or maybe dark chocolate.”

“Dark chocolate, thank you.” He rubbed her hands and turned to leave but she pulled him back and placed a gentle kiss on his lips. “Be back soon, stay safe.”

Fahad smiled and with one last look at her she picked his car keys and left.

She picked her phone and called her mother in law when she saw that she hung up, probably to give them privacy.

“Habibti,” she shut her eyes resting her back against the dresser.

“You’ll never know if you don’t take it,” Barr Salima spoke her voice calm and reassuring.

With a shaky voice Khadijah told her why she was so scared. “I’m scared ammie, what if…” she didn’t finish the sentence.

“What if nothing my love, just take the test. I’ll not hang up, okay?” she nodded before saying a small yes.

How hard can it be anyways? She helped Kamla with hers, she could it.

With unhurried steps she walked back to the bathroom and unlocked the perfectly wrapped package she had sent from the pharmacy.

Not much people would have their mother in law on call while they took a pregnancy test but she wasn’t many people, she considered going over to her mother’s place and having both her and umma for moral support but she couldn’t handle them treating her like an egg when it comes out negative, same with Layla and literally everyone else.

Sadiya wasn’t in town but she wasn’t an option either, she had called ammie trusting her to not treat her like she was going to break. To save herself the disappointment she told herself there was a ninety percent chance it would be negative.

The gynaecologist might’ve said she could get pregnant but she wasn’t going to believe it, the same doctors—different doctors in a different hospital but still, they had also told her having a baby preterm was fine but her daughter had died.

She kept the phone beside the three strips and with shaky she picked the test kit up and took the test. Barr Salima was quiet as she did her business, she placed the three tests that were loading on the counter and walked out of the bathroom closing the door like they would scream the results after.

“You’ve done the hardest part, now just breathe in and know whatever the result it, it won’t change anything between you two and I love you so much, you are strong.” Barr Salima chuckled lowly and added. “But I have a feeling it is positive,”

She nodded and huffed out a breath, the timer she set clicked and a small cry left her lips which only made ammie laugh harder.

They have gotten extremely close in that one year.

“Okay champ, go and check it.”

“I think I’ll just wait for him, we should see this together.” She said knowing fully well she just wanted to stall.

“Trust me he’ll be happier if he heard it from you, now please go and see it. One glance and tell me what it is.” She had to give her a pep talk before she got half the mind to get up, shaky legs and all she made it to the bathroom but refused to open her eyes and look at it.

“Come on,” ammie chuckled again. The fact that she wasn’t as intense as she was made her feel lighter.

Nothing would change no matter what the result is. She told herself, then said a silent prayer for strength before opening her eyes.

A sound left her lips that alerted Barr Salima.

“Khadijah, Khadijah are you there?” she sounded panicked.

****

Khadijah was in the kitchen cutting up fruits like ammie had advised before she told her she needed to go when Fahad walked back in with Aneesah, Huda and Layla in tow.

“Hey, I didn’t know you were coming.” Layla only shrugged.

“I saw them and thought why not, Abba is outside trying to look good for you.” Fahad rolled his eyes as he opened the fridge to get a drink.

“I feel like breaking his head,” he muttered, looking at the door to the kitchen expecting the teenager to walk in at any moment.

His unhealthy crush on Khadijah was more of an act just to get on his cousin’s nerves, joke or not Fahad did not like the kid looking at his wife too much.

“That’s between you two, now the real reason I came. Do you have any of that chocolate cake from yesterday?” Layla started looking around trying to spot it like she would keep a cake anywhere but in the fridge.

“I think there is one slice left, that is if Jay didn’t eat all.” She made a sound before rushing off to the fridge where Fahad directed her.

All engrossed in what they were doing they missed the way Khadijah’s face twisted in repugnance when she pulled it out.

She didn’t take even a single bite from it since it was brought and she moved when Fahad was eating it because it made her nauseous. Her aversion to some scents were the first things that made her suspect she was pregnant but she didn’t want to accept it or get her hopes high, then her hate for coffee, oh how her mother would love to hear that.

If Fahad has noticed her preference for milk in the mornings he didn’t make mention of it.

“I’ll be out there until I get hungry again,” Layla raised her glass of coke like as she walked out to meet Aneesah and Huda who left after picking a bag of chips each.

“They didn’t have the one you liked but I got this one, I know it’s not your favourite but it is better than nothing.” She thanked him and opened the bag he kept looking for the dark chocolate.

She pulled one out and opened it but immediately moved back, almost knocking off a stool.

“Be careful babe, subhanallah. Are you okay? Did you hurt yourself?” Fahad was beside immediately when he heard the sound of the chair falling. She nodded and told him she was fine but he was too focused on checking for himself.

When he saw nothing wrong he stood back up and embraced her to ensure himself she was fine.

A small sob left her lips shocking him, silently he pulled her out of the kitchen and to his office without gaining the attention of their guests. How hard she was crying scared him and it didn’t matter how much he tried to comfort her, it only made her cry harder.

Knowing there was nothing he could do and he had no idea why she was crying felt like someone had plunged a knife in his chest and was twisting it mercilessly, the thought of something hurting her so much was torture to him.

“Baby please tell me what’s wrong,” she gripped his shirt crying harder. All he could do was hold her close and hope she stopped while still trying to comfort her.

They stayed that way for more than five minutes before she finally stopped crying and was able to form a coherent sentence.

“I ruined your shirt,” her lips wobbled alerting him and he was quick to tell her there was no problem he could change.

“Did something happen after I left? Is Sadiya okay?” she shook her head to both questions but it wasn’t helping slow his heartbeat.

“What happened then? My love, please.” He was desperate for a reply and instead of answering because she wasn’t sure she could talk she gripped his hand and he followed her without question.

“Hey, we’re right here.” Layla complained when she saw the both of them walking up the stairs.

“Layla shut up,” Fahad stopped her before she said anything when he knew his sisters were with her.

Khadijah didn’t stop until she was at the door to the