The trip to Lovarda had none of that magic that I initially felt. There was only dread. There was fear and disgust. I was brimming with worry, with grief. And dragons did these emotions throw me into a pit. It pulled me lower than I had ever been in my two lifetimes and my days were spent in silence, enduring the sickness spun from the rocking motions of the boat—that ceaseless swaying on the calm waters, the occasional hop over a large wave.

My mother's death probably was my fault. If I sang back then a little bit earlier to stop those people...could I have saved her? I knew I couldn't control my ability really well. I was scared I would cause my mistresses harm considering what had happened with Mistress Marian. Would I have made the situation worse or better? I would never know.

My mistresses and other companions were understanding of my situation. I was upset because I couldn't get to see my mother given a proper burial, at least. Especially after she endured such a painful death. I could only hope she was having a better time traversing that bridge of reincarnation. It hurt me knowing she had to forget about everything, but I wouldn't want her to remember how she died either. I would bear that burden of remembering for her, if it would mean she would have a peaceful next life.

The scene of her death played very clearly in my mind. It played many times over until the original image I had of it was scratched and overused. I grew a little numb with every replay. The grief was chipped away bit-by-bit. With every little bit of grief that had gone, hate burned in its place.

This was dangerous, I realized. I didn't want to be one to bear grudges like this, but the more I wallowed in my grief, the deeper the thirst for revenge inched in my bones. With every moment I recalled that night, countless scenarios rose in my mind of me taking the life of that empress just as she'd done to my mother and Aunt Safia. I regretted it deeply that I didn't manage to take her life just as I did to those other men.

It was startling. I should be guilty of having killed other people. But I wasn't, mainly because I thought it was rightfully done. Had I not moved, it would've been me or my other mistresses on the ground.

And those men with reptilian eyes. They were the bane of me. Death didn't work on them and that simple fact scared me. What would you do to the people immune to the only ability you had? Immune to death? One of them even saved that damnable empress. If she just died that night, what little was left of Oblivion would have never crumbled completely. I would assume rearranging matters in Venerya would be much simpler and we wouldn't have had to leave for our own safety.

And now we're here, making our escape to a foreign country.

I once again laid eyes on those Skyhorses—or Seikelwern as the tongue would have it. They were truly larger than life when seen from down below. They had majestic wingspans that could fit around twenty buses in one go. They were large beasts, and while they soared high and fast in the air, they were much slower and heavier on land. Getting them to touchdown gently was a challenge for the pilots, so the ships they carried on their backs were built to endure the tremors should things go awry.

To think it hadn't been very long since I was riding one.

And now I was back in this country again. This time, for a different reason.

I was fortunate that Papi had a stock of books in his vessel. I busied myself going through his collection so that I wasn't always too caught up in my emotions all the time. I spent most of the time reading and staring into space. While Eren and Maun tried keeping me company, I couldn't entertain them for a long time. Nevertheless, they put up with my silence and didn't try to get me to talk any more than I wished to—Maun especially. Eren did the talking enough for the both of us.

I was not a stranger to death. I went through it myself. It was not a boundary easily crossed.

I didn't expect my second encounter with it to be this.

"We're almost to the port," Papi announced. "How are you to enter Lovarda? If you're hiding, won't this mean showing your identities would compromise you? Entering the country requires proof of identity. I'm worried for you."

"No need to worry, Papi. We have our ways. We will not be discovered."

Whenever my mistresses would say there would be no problem, I trusted them fully. They meant everything they said. They would not dare claim it if they didn't have a way. In this regard, I knew their words held weight. Although Oblivion wasn't the way it used to be, there were many things that would remain unchanged.

In spite of how people saw the House, despite the typical question of character, Oblivion was the only place in the world I was confident would never let me down. And I had hope we would not be like this forever.

I looked behind me and saw Papi walking with Mistress Veronika. My mistress was dressed simply this time around. She was humble-looking and low-profiled compared to how she used to be. All of us were in pretty much the same situation. I never realized how fine my clothes were until I had to put myself in rags. It wasn't a situation I was fond of, but I wasn't a stranger to it. Although I had known nothing but luxury in this life, I did slave through some crap in my previous one. I was just returning to the place I had been in before.

Besides, Papi tried his best to accommodate us. He gave us the best rooms in his ship and gave us the best meals he could offer. Mistress Kora and Veronika, in return, helped with stuff around. I did some work occasionally as well because accomplishing chores helped get my mind off the things I didn't wish to think about.

What's more, it was interesting learning about life at sea. It wasn't glorious—kind of monotonous even. Most days were spent on routine chores. There wasn't much space to move around in, so people tend to get creative with what they have.

The three of us did for the most part.

It didn't take long for the ship to reach the docks. We donned our hoods and an inspector went up the boat to check on the goods as well as the passengers.

This guy was familiar. It was that guard with that Don Quixote beard. I remember seeing him last time we went to Lovarda. He fenced our paths and said the docks were restricted from civilians until my mistress told him she was a part of the Merchant's Union—whatever that was.

I lowered my eyes and bundled up under my hood. I was in no mood to entertain anybody. Aside from the inspection, I would like to be left alone. It felt better when the ship was sailing in the open sea. The waves were somehow more pronounced now that we were tied to the dock—or maybe that was just me.

"Forgive our appearances. The ship isn't the place to wear our good clothes," Veronika told him smoothly.

He regarded us with scrutiny. "Someone forwarded your identity tokens to me in advance. You're coming in through the seaports this time?" he asked in Lovardi like before, flipping through a bunch of paper clipped on a board.

It was hard to change the sudden change in language for me, but considering I've trained my discernment the past few months, it was much easier for me to know.

"You have a sharp memory," Mistress Veronika said. "But that's right."

"And you're that smug young'un," the guard with the beard said as he looked at me from above.

"My niece. Raise your head, darling," Mistress Veronika said.

I complied. I met his eyes, but said nothing.

"It's hard to forget such faces," the guard told me before turning to Papi. "We were told to be a little strict this time around because trouble broke out in Venerya apparently. It is currently in lockdown and no one's allowed to leave the country. Your itinerary said you went around and dropped by there before you left—at the port of Kilan. Is this true?"

"That's true, but that's only to pick up some extra goods in favor of a friend," Papi replied smoothly. There were no signs of him lying, partly because it was probably somewhat true. "There are Veneryan oranges onboard. They'll be rotten if they aren't delivered here on time."

"I see. It seems you're from Ovanol." To my disbelief, he suddenly switched tongues. Lovardi to Ovanolish­. "What part of the country?"

"Lalenir," my mistress replied, her voice thick with Ovanolish accent. "It seems you're quite fluent in the tongue yourself. Did you come from there as well? I don't see any semblance of any warrior tribe from your body."

"My father's Ovanolish," he told her. "My mother's Lovardi. I'm quite fluent in both languages because I was raised in them. It gets hard to distinguish between the two at times."

"Oh," Mistress Veronika stated with a quirk of her brow.

My face seemed to have called attention to myself. He looked over to me. "How about you? Don't you have your parents with you? Why are you always with your aunt?"

I remained silent for a bit, remembering my mother's death very recently.

"Evy," Mistress Veronika urged.

It didn't occur to me I had blanked out. I looked up to the guard and found him looking at me discerningly—as though he was trying to see through some ploy.

What now? Was he thinking all the Ovanolish nonsense was a lie?

"My parents are gone," I replied smoothly.

My mistress was visibly relieved at my reply, but she didn't dare show it too much considering the guard was still there.

"And how are you related to her?" he pointed at Erenol.

"She's my half-sister," I said as well. We'd practiced this stuff a couple of times already. It worked because Erenol had the same red hair as me. And we hadn't matured so much to look so distinct from one another. "I only found out about her recently."

"Well, that's apparent..." the guard said with a shrug. "And this guy? What's your name?"

"He's mute and dumb. We picked him up from the streets," Mistress Veronika told him. "We named him Maun. We don't know his real one."

I was a little flabbergasted at that, but I didn't let it show on my face.Maun looked over to me with wide, clueless eyes. It was evident that he did not know what we were talking about—and that face of his made Mistress Veronika's reasoning all the more convincing.

The guard still looked doubtful and lingered around asking more questions before proceeding to inspect the cargo area. There were Veneryan oranges there like Papi said there would be and they were just about to be ripe for selling.

"I will bother you no longer," the guard finally switched back to Lovardi and regarded us all with a nod.

When he left, we began our preparations to disembark Papi's ship. I was very relieved everything went as they should. I didn't realize that Venerya was in a lockdown at all. My mistresses and Papi seemed to have made ample preparations though, so I don't think there was anything to worry about.

I still wonder where the others went.

Kora gathered the sleeves of his clothes, a little irked at the roughness of it probably. "Come on, you lot. Down you all go," he told us all with a sigh. He herded us down the platform and we proceeded to go about our business inconspicuously. For the first few hours, we stayed to help with managing the goods. I sat back to watch people come to trade and buy stuff until the stark afternoon came and we prepared to leave.

We've been so patient until now. Maun and Erenol had fallen fast asleep. They had to be woken up when we needed to go.

After discreetly saying goodbye to Papi, we quietly made our way through the streets in Lovarda and reached the sanctuary of the temple.

Upon arriving, the Abbot was there waiting. "Veron. We've been expecting you."