Chapter 44 ❆ You are Destiny

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The Abbot led me away into the praying grounds where the statues of the dragons and the serpent were. As usual, the energies were very thick. The air was thick with the presence of the gods, and I felt that my access to my abilities was especially potent at the moment. If I tried calling upon the Veils now, they were sure to come flocking.

"I wanted to talk to you, to straighten out some details..." he said. "You see, the other masters have noticed," the Abbot told me.

My heart jumped as I looked over to him.

"When you nearly lost control over yourself in the arena, your fluctuations were especially different."

"Do they know?" I inquired.

"I assured them, but I did not say," he said. "The less who know about it, the better. And they know your circumstances are not common, otherwise your Mistress Veronika would not come all this way in the state you're in right now."

I pursed my lips.

"The monks aren't foolish," he continued. "Do you know what happened to Venerya after you left the country?"

I gazed into his calm and kind eyes, then shook my head. "My mistresses never talk about anything...they wouldn't even tell me where the other mistresses have gone."

He sighed. Although he was not an open book, I could more or less infer from his tone and words that something had gone wrong—and they most likely concerned my abilities too...or, more precisely, what I've done out of loss of control and grief over my mother's death. I was sure it was not a secret. My mistresses must have told them already.

"I'm sure you already know that the prince that your mistresses were trying to put to the throne had fled the kingdom and took refuge in the nearby forests...I forgot the name. But that's that," he said. "But Venerya is not in that nice of a situation either. Many inexplicable deaths occurred in one night, and though people are blaming it on a civil war, there are some who say there is more to it. In particular, there have been comparisons made of a sickness that started in the West twelve years ago."

My throat rolled and I clung to and tugged on my clothes. It felt like there was acid in my throat as I took in deep breaths.

"And...you see, considering the complicated affairs in politics, in order to further discredit you and your mistresses to stabilize and regain control of the government, they will push the blame of the deaths onto you."

Well, weren't they right? It was my fault, right?

"Who were the people who died? Were they normal people?" I asked.

"Many of them were soldiers, paladins in particular. Your Mistress Veronika told me you single-handedly ate off a chunk of the empresses's men, which gave you all a chance to leave the country...what more for the prince of your bet to escape to safety as well."

It felt like a huge load was lifted off my chest just then.

"I think that you have been subconsciously directing them," the Abbot said.

"Actually, no. She passed out for the most part of it and left me to deal with all her mess," Amber's irked voice rang in my ear.

Really now. Claiming credit, eh?

"But there were some civilians caught in the crossfire."

"Couldn't do much about that," Amber's voice came again.

Hearing the sudden shift in the tone, I closed my eyes just before I rolled it. I was afraid the Abbot would think I was mocking him when I was actually mocking someone else. Then again, despite his arrogance, Amber did deserve that credit. I messed up big time.

"Are you in my head?" I asked.

"I do hear your thoughts when you reach out."

"Thanks," I said.

"Surprised you know that word."

"Not often."

"Abbot...when you said you could not see my destiny, what did you mean by that?" I asked. The banter earlier with Amber had eased much of my trepidation. Inwardly, I was very grateful.

"You are not within the plans of the heavens, young one," he said. "That has not changed. The calamity we are facing is similar to the heavens descending upon our realm. It is...a rare event. To live through it is both interesting and dangerous, I'm afraid."

"Is that not a bad thing?"

"For many...perhaps, because it is uncertain whether we will survive the ordeal," he replied. "But I have faith. And I have every reason to believe you have your purpose," he told me. "To not be confined by destiny, do you not realize this power and privilege?"

I shook my head reluctantly.

"I spent a while contemplating what it might mean, and after seeking enlightenment and wisdom from the old, I have come upon a conclusion." He gazed at me. "If you do not have a destiny...then you are destiny itself."

My eyes widened.

He smiled at me, rubbing my hair. "You alone may be able to decide the outcome of this trial. Whether we live or survive."

I swallowed heavily.

"Amber, is this true?"

"You're still calling...whatever. Kind of is."

"I'll talk to you more about this later," I whispered in my mind.

"I can't begin teaching you yet until the tournament is over," he said. "Once the whole event is over, I can begin imparting some things to you that can help you with stabilizing your ability as soon as possible. Since you've already recognized me as your teacher, I know taking your ability under control is a matter of priority and importance."

I nodded.

"Tomorrow will be the last of your fight. If you win against that Mushroom kid, then you would have to face Black Flame next."

"I almost forgot it's a double," I whispered.

"One in the morning, one at noon. You'll have some time to rest and recover," the Abbot reassured. "Don't you have two healers by your side anyway to help you?"

"It won't be unfair, right?" I asked.

"How will that be unfair?" He chuckled. "Everyone comes in with certain advantages in every fight. It doesn't matter what you do outside of the arena or what you bring into it, but how you perform inside of it—of course, that doesn't include things that have been banned in the fight, like weapons or tonics. I'm sure Black Flame will not rely on the assistance of the temple for his recovery either. Although our healers are very skilled, you may find it more comfortable to find assistance amongst someone who knows you better and you trust well."

"Well, since that's the case, then I won't feel shy about it!" I declared.

"I know it's already too much to ask, but you must resist the temptation to use your ability within the fight."

"I know. Don't worry. I've already secured a spot so I think I can relax on this one a little...though I will still try my best," I said. "I kind of...arrogantly promised I would face Black Flame again. And then defeat him."

The Abbot did not deride my statement, but he laughed heartily. "It's good that you are setting goals for yourself, but don't be too disappointed when you fail in reaching it. After all, you're bound by circumstances. If anything, the fights are heavily against you. Seeing as you've reached this far, it's a big testament to your capability and talent."

I nodded with a smile.

"Alright. I won't keep you for much longer, child. Go and return to your family. I will meet you again in the induction ceremony."

"Will do, master," I said, bowing deeply before running off.

Having finally returned to the camp, I found that things were much calmer now compared to before. I resumed my place before the bonfire, and the warm and harmonious atmosphere fell over us once more. I thoroughly enjoyed finishing my dinner, then leaned back to digest my food as I picked my teeth.

"So what did the Abbot say?" Mistress Veronika inquired.

"Some stuff about training and my...thing," I said. "Mostly some small advice and some reminders for the fight I would be having tomorrow."

"That's good," she said.

The Abbot was right when he said I shouldn't be too disappointed if I failed. I knew my limits and breaking through them, considering my current circumstance, was not a good thing at all. There was that constant question of whether I could control it or not. The conversation earlier regarding the outbreak in Venerya and Amber's accusing tone of me messing up was a cold reminder.

But that wasn't a reason to stop from trying either.

Thankfully, the token that Maun had given me should help me maintain calmness...but I wasn't sure if I would be able to bring it onstage.

It was not a weapon, right? It was not a tonic either.

I took note of it in my mind and made a decision to check out the rule book once again...Although it was a kind of too late since I had brought it up with me in my fight earlier today. I should have probably asked the Abbot if I was allowed. What a bummer.

"Sorry," Eren softly stated, rousing me out of my thoughts. "I'm happy for you two but I'm very sad for myself."

"No worries, darling. You'll have your time to shine. It's just not now. Don't think about it too much and rest early, okay?" Mistress Kora told her, patting her head. "Evy, are you done eating?" he asked, turning to me as he wiped his mouth.

"Yes, mistress," I said.

"Alright. Come on, let's go and patch you and Maun up before going to rest," Mistress Kora said. He beckoned for me to follow him into his and Maun's tent.

I nodded and stood. I remembered promising Maun earlier that I would be patched up by him. My injuries were very minor. The discomfort I was feeling was not really that bad. I'd been through worse—fell off a tall building and came out with broken bones, possibly paralyzed waist down, then was finally choked to death. Sh*t didn't actually hurt at all when they happened because the bad, bad pain would onset much later.

I shuddered upon remembering. I even had some phantom aches were the worst of it were.

"Alright! Maun, we'll be treating you and Evy today. I'll start with you first. You watch me tend to you, then I'll let you tend to her after."

Maun nodded enthusiastically as Mistress Kora pulled out his medicine kit.

I sat down on the floor within the tent and watched as my green-haired mistress tended to Maun, explaining everything with utmost patience and meticulousness. "Actually, I forced Evy to learn to identify some herbs and medicinal plants with me whenever she would help me with the upkeep of the garden. She's very knowledgeable, so if you have any questions you can ask her."

"Mistress, you give me too much credit," I said.

"I don't! You were a reliable assistant when I did the surgeries on Maun. I could've not handled his condition by myself," he told me. "Speaking of surgeries...I actually plan on treating the sick old man, Ibinalon, sometime after the tournament. I couldn't do the tests I wanted on him because of lack of materials, so I'm still confirming it. I should by tomorrow, but right now I think he needs a minor surgery. You two can come with me then to spectate since I can make use of your help. What do you say?"

We both nodded.

I was not the queasy type, so it shouldn't be bad. I was also mildly curious about these things, so I looked forward to them.

"Great!"

"But is it wise?" I asked. "Wouldn't that be drawing too much attention?"

"It's only within the community, Evy. Besides, I can't resist helping when I have the capability," he said.

Mistress Kora's character had really endeared him to these people.

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