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Chapter40. Closure

Life was weird for all people, wasn't it? Not just with me?

Because that's how I felt that day standing on the stairs, Woody kneeling just a short pace below, with my ex-girlfriend watching by the door.

Weird.

And it wasn't just because everyone was staring at us or that my heart was pounding so fast I was about to get a seizure. The whole idea of it was weird— us ending this way. The ten-year old me wouldn't have thought about this. She would scream.

Which ironically, I did too.

"D-Destiny?" Woody's hand, the hand that had been holding the small box for the ring trembled. "W-What?"

"You have no idea!" I continued saying. Well I might have continued from something. But I didn't know if I said anything before that. I was rambling. "There were so many things I lied to you about, Woody! I don't know if I deserve you anymore. I'm a mess!"

Woody rose from the step, tucked the ring away, and took a firm hold of my shoulders. "Destiny!" she said. "Destiny, it's okay!"

"No, it's not!" I gasped for air. Other than my lungs and mouth, everything about me refused to work. I was a dynamite that had been lit up. It was only seconds before I exploded. "Last night—"

"I don't care about last night," Woody cut off.

"But!"

"Last night is in the past," she said again. It was clear as day that she was avoiding the subject. Woody exhaled and smiled at me. But I could see through her pretense. It tortured me. "About my marriage proposal—"

"Can we talk first?!"

My stomach twisted when the color drained from her face. But she had to know about me and Genesis. And I wasn't going to say yes without clearing things out.

Her jaw clenched before she nodded. "Okay," she agreed reluctantly. "Where?"

"My room."

The muscles on her throat moved when she swallowed. "We'll be back," she said, loud enough for the whole house to hear. I didn't wait to see how everyone would react and dashed up the stairs.

Woody followed right behind me to the room, locking the door when she entered. I swiveled to her, my eyes widening as I saw her expression. Nothing. Her face was a complete blank.

"I'm sorry," I started, not knowing what else to say.

Woody was still by the door, hands frozen by her side, eyes turned to the floor. I thought she wouldn't say anything, but then her eyes flickered up at me as she focused on my face. "Was she good?"

"Baby. . ."

"Were you satisfied?"

I had run to her before I knew what I've done and embraced her to me. Woody had started to shake, clutched me, choking on her tears.

"I've always respected your wishes," she rasped. "And just one day of seeing her, you've broken every promise you've ever said. Why?! Why, Des?! Do you still love her?!"

"No!"

"Then why hurt me this much?!" she yelled. "Why do this to me?!"

Because of revenge! Because Genesis and I were the only two people who knew what happened in the past!

"Because I hate her so much!" I blurted.

Woody pushed me away. "You hate her?!" She wiped her eyes. "How can you say you hate her when you screwed her last night?!"

"I. . ."

"Are you still going to marry me?!"

A silence fell between us. A silence so loud it rendered me deaf.

Woody's hand was wet when she touched my face. "Do you love me?" she whispered. "Yes or no, Des. I want to know."

I looked her in the eye, the beginnings of an earthquake starting to rumble in my chest. Those two years with her made me feel safe. Comforted. I would not feel that anywhere else, even with Genesis.

"I love you," I convinced.

"Close your eyes, Des." I followed her wish. But she didn't kiss me this time. The warmth from her hand slipped from my skin, like brewed coffee suddenly gone cold. "I'm going down to explain to the guests what happened," she said. "And when I come back later, I hope you've made your decision." The door opened and closed.

The guests left little by little. I could hear them shifting below. And though no one bothered to call me, I knew that their minds were still on the failure of my engagement. Of the embarrassment that I've given Woody. I collapsed on the bed.

Time passed quickly while I stared at the ceiling, wondering what would happen. There was no question that I would marry Woody. But how could I rebuild her trust?

How would she react when I tell her about my revenge to the Morgan's? Would she say that I was only doing it because of Genesis?

Was I?

Tok.

I glanced at the window.

Tok.

A pebble hit the glass.

My legs were jittery when I made it to the window and looked down. Spencer was standing outside, arm raised to throw yet another stone, and upon seeing me, slowly lowered his hand down. "Can you talk?" he called.

I nodded and pulled the window open.

It wasn't tricky to leave the bedroom through there. I've done it so many times in the past. Spencer stopped pacing as I jumped from the rope ladder and faced him. His breath fogged from the afternoon chill.

"What is it?" I said, looking up at my room before focusing on him again. "Woody will check my room soon. This has to be quick."

Spencer nodded. But he didn't say anything immediately. He just stood there, staring at me, in the middle of deliberating something only he knew.

"Spence?"

He got down on his knee. "Des, I'm still in love with you."

My lips parted open. What?!

"Get up," I said, before anyone saw him.

Spencer shook his head and retrieved something from his pocket. The ring glittered in the afternoon sunlight. "How long have I known you?" he asked.

My throat seemed to clam shut on me. "I can't do this now!" I said.

"Our whole life," he answered, as if not hearing a word I spoke. "I've known and loved you since I can remember, Des. I'll make you happy, I swear. Just like old times."

Just like old times? Did that include when he almost raped me in the woods? When he traumatized me?!

My heart leaped to my throat when I looked at him again. None of that was present now. He was mature. Older. But still the same goofy guy who offered me cinnamon rolls that he'd never give to anyone else.

"I'll give you time to think," he said, like he saw what was on my mind. Spencer stood and nodded to himself. "Midnight. I'll come back at midnight."

My smartphone vibrated for what felt like the millionth time today as I was passing by Bertha's Bakery. The woman saw me through the glass window and waved. But I didn't wave back.

That's right, Bertha. Fall in line with rest of the crowd that's disappointed with me. Welcome to the club.

I fished out my phone when it vibrated again, then dumped it to the nearest trashcan. Woody was probably the one calling. Or Spencer. Or my dad. But what do you know? I wasn't available. Not for a while.

The sun was a fleck between two dark clouds when I entered the woods. Already, I could feel my skin pricking from the cold, my breath fogging in front of me. The weather was trying to mimic my mood; icy, sullen, dead. But I continued walking, until the image of the ruins began to present itself.

I stopped and stared at it. Or rather, at her. Genesis was sitting on the steps, still in the clothes she wore the night before, the most haunting thing I've ever seen in this place. My heartbeat skipped momentarily.

She was just like the ruins— beautiful, ethereal, unique. But like my favorite place, she was nothing but nostalgia. Genesis was from another time and place, and if I was to create the future, I had to leave history behind.

My hands balled into fists. "What are you doing here?" I said.

Genesis jumped from the steps. And in doing so, she dropped a folder to the ground, the paper contents scattering all around her.

The wind was not in a cooperative mood. It nudged one of the papers upward, forward, fluttering straight in my direction. I stood on tiptoe and reached my hand to catch it. The word on the paper only began to make sense as I made a double-look. Confidential, it said.

Genesis had collected the rest of the papers when she went to me. I flinched when our hands touched as she handed me the folder. But I was so confused that I could simply look at her quizzically.

"They're for you," she murmured.

The folder dropped to the grass. "I don't want it," I said. "Anything from you. I don't want it."

I turned around, but she grabbed my arm. "It's evidence." Genesis' hand tightened on me. "It's not a gift. It's punishment. For everything my father has done to you."

I froze in place, my breaths beginning to quicken. I've spent years trying to gather proof that would incriminate Lyndon Morgan. But even while working for someone like Mr. Danes, I had never found anything. Even a speeding ticket.

"Why are you giving this to me?" I yanked my arm away before turning back to her. "What do you want in exchange? Me?!"

Genesis shook her head. And for the first time since earlier, I saw that her eyes were puffy. Those eyes that I have loved so dearly, as deeply as an astronomer had loved the stars. But everything about us had burned a long time ago. To wish upon our star was to hope for something dead.

"Give me a moment," Genesis whispered, eyes pleading what her mouth could not. "Five more minutes. That's all I ask of you."

An evidence in exchange for five minutes? What could she possibly do that would make me hate her less?

"Fine," I snapped. "This better be good."

Genesis coaxed me back to the steps, to the crumbling structure that we've just left this morning. What was she planning? If she thought she could bed me again like last night, then she had never been so wrong.

My lips opened to say exactly that. But she'd pivoted at me at the same time, dropping flexible strings that connected to two familiar figures.

Genesis' lips quivered. "Mama's home," she rasped. "Mama's home after so many years!"

Time seemed to stop as I took in the sight of them. Genesis, Boy, Girl. The family I've left behind. The family I've ever wanted.

"Why are you doing this?!" I said. "Stop it!"

I didn't want to remember. I wanted to move on.

But Genesis edged nearer. "You've always wanted to be a puppeteer," she said. "You dreamt of a simple life. A happy life. What happened to us?"

"Your father happened! And life is not that simple!"

"I know." Genesis smiled as the first of the tears came pouring down her cheeks. "It was never simple from the start, but we can pick ourselves up. We should try." She wiped her tears. "And I'm sorry if I don't have a ring or a party. Or anything I can offer like Woody and Spencer did. I'm just a woman who'd never done much but follow her father's wishes. But I'm breaking free from my strings, Des. Because I love you so much." Genesis took a breath and steadied her gaze at me. "Marry me, Destiny."

Present Day

Droplets of tears mingled with the ink as I wrote the parting words to my letter. That was it. The last chapter of my history had been written, exposed, and whatever I choose to do with it, I hope I could fondly look back at the pages with little to no regrets. Even when I've hurt a lot, lost a lot of people while finding myself.

Footsteps sounded outside the door when I was beginning to fold the papers, followed by three sharp knocks. "It's almost dinnertime, Destiny. Are you done with your wedding vows?"

I straightened the papers on the middle of the desk and stood. Time had passed so quickly.

"What if I told you that I was just sleeping the whole time?"

I've made it to the door and had yanked it open when Ester was about to reply. Her mouth opened and closed, before her brows knitted together in concern. "Were you crying?" she asked.

"Nope." I ducked from her reach and brisk walked to the hallway. She was fast for years of chasing Spencer. But not fast enough to catch me.

"Come back here," Ester complained.

"Why? So you could nag me? Some maid of honor you are."

She bumped on my back when I suddenly stopped. "Ow!"

"Sorry! I just thought of something." I wiped my eyes furtively and glanced at her over my shoulder. Enough of the tears. I needed to forgive myself. "Will you answer one question for me?" I said.

Ester stopped rubbing her nose to glare at me. But her features softened eventually. "Okay, what is it?"

My lips stretched to a grin. Ester couldn't say no to a question. "That time at 2009," I said. "Did you by any chance put alcohol in the barrel? After the school election at the creek?"

Ester's face tightened in concentration. But her expression didn't give her away. "That was so long ago," she said. "Why are you asking that now?"

"Just curious," I answered. "Did you?"

She shrugged. "Maybe? I guess we'll never know."

Ha! How long had I been repeating the same lines about her?

"Des?" Ester rushed when I stepped to the stairs. I stared at her again. "I'm also curious about something," she said. "Humor me, will you?"

"Okay?"

"That evidence you told me about months before. Who did you give it to?"

It was my turn to keep my expression poker. With Lyndon Morgan in jail, things like this shouldn't be taken lightly.

"Someone you'll never expect," I said. "A person who had hated Lyndon Morgan as much as I did but felt trapped to do anything about it. I let the angel decide his fate. That's all I can say."

Ester sighed and nodded. She knew she'd get nothing more from me. And I wasn't in the position to reveal the person who'd secretly turn in the evidence to the police.

"Okay, you're in the clear," Ester finally said. "Make sure you come back in time for dinner. Don't get your father worked up again."

"Hey, it's not my fault people like to kidnap me." I smirked at her and ran down the stairs. "Besides, with Mr. Danes as Governor, the whole state is safe for everyone."

"I agree."

The reply made me freeze in place. Ester wasn't the one who said it. The voice was different, magical. Butterflies fluttered in my stomach as I turned away.

"Argh!" I cried. "It's bad luck to see the bride before the wedding. Don't you know that?"

"I don't believe in such things." Footsteps creaked on the floor before warm hands wrapped on my hips. "But if you do," she whispered. "Then only look at me tomorrow when we're exchanging our vows. Or you know, you can change your mind tonight and crawl to my bed."

My mouth broke into an ear to ear grin. She was the only person who could make me say yes. The only woman who could make me this crazy. I guess bad things had to happen for good things to make sense. That was life.

"I love you," I murmured.

"I know." Her hand caressed my face. "Now close your eyes, Destiny Jones."

The whole world vanished as I did. And what was left was everything that I loved. Everything about her.

Fin

A/N: Guys. . . Thank you so much for reading this book. I'm in tears while writing this author's note.

This project was started last year and I had made it to more than twenty chapters. But. . . You know, life. . . I couldn't continue for personal reasons. One night, while walking under the stars, I tearfully told Regina that I would have to do other projects first. So I worked on Lesbian Academy, To be a Lesbian, and The Offering trying to push it aside.

A year later, this story clawed in my heart again. It was begging to be released, and I was so scared to write it but I knew it was time. So I did. From scratch. Every day that I wrote it, I was scared. It was hard. But it's finished now, and I think it was all worth it.

And if you felt happy, sad, or I just brought out your emotions while reading it, then I think I did my job right. Tell your friends about it, will you? Vote on the chapters you loved. As long as gay people needs stories, I'm here for you, but we got to support each other.

P.s. It takes time to create a profile here and only a second for me to mute you. There are people who read my stories just so they can spoil it for others. I don't know if you're desperate, psychotic, or you just need to be laid, but I'm not hesitant to mute a million assholes just to make that single reader enjoy her time with my books. Also, please don't send me pictures of your underwear in social media. It is highly disturbing, not to mention, I prefer nudes. Ahaha jk.

Destiny Jones' Wedding Songs: