Chapter28. First

The first speck of sunlight was shining through the window when my alarm clock beeped. I slammed my hand on it and rolled out of bed.

I've prepared everything last night, so I only needed to go to the window, swing it open, and step back before the morning air freezes me to death. The telescope was waiting beside me. I took a peek.

'Good morning, Destiny.'

My lips cracked into a smile. Genesis was on her balcony like she promised, holding the whiteboard she used to write messages with. Messages to me.

I left the telescope long enough to grab my own whiteboard and marker and respond. 'Hi, beautiful.'

Genesis' lowered her binoculars and covered her face with a hand. I wish she was closer so I could see the blush on her cheeks. Maybe later.

Erasing the message with the tissue, I began to write another one. 'Are we on for today?'

'Yes.' She responded. 'Dindo is not a problem anymore. We can go anywhere.' She erased, then wrote again. 'Wear a dress.'

'Ha-ha, Gene. No can do.'

'Even for me?' The question mark was huge.

'You're spoiled.'

'So are you.' Genesis looked behind her and quickly scribbled another note on the board. 'I have to go. Gabby is knocking on my door.' She had lowered the board and was about to turn around when she changed her mind and erased the whole message. It was my turn to cover my face when I saw the last thing she wrote. 'It's a date.' And then she was gone.

I didn't feel bad that Gabrielle had stopped our talk because now Genesis and I could flirt anytime. This was just a pause, a half-time break, so I skipped to the hallway after a hot shower and prepared breakfast.

Dad came along thirty minutes later. It was a Saturday so his hair was still a mess. He hadn't shaved yet as well, and I rubbed his chin to tease him about it.

"I'd say knock it off, but you haven't done that in a while." He stopped and stared at the food on the table, complete with steaming hot coffee on the side, while I bounced to the counter to fish the dessert. "Someone's in a good mood," he muttered.

"Can I have money?" I brought the dessert to the table. "I don't need much, just something to let two people eat at Roberto's, and a movie afterwards."

"That's a good one." He pulled a chair and sat.

"Of course, it is. So how much will you give me? Not that I'm pressuring you or anything. Like I said, I don't need that much."

Dad blinked at me like I've said the most absurd thing in the world. "You're not serious, are you?" His reaction changed to surprise when I tilted my head. "You are? But fancy restaurant? Movie?" He folded his arms as he came to the realization. "Are you going on a date?"

"D-date? Psh!" I waved my hand and stepped back. "Who's going on a date? I'm not. Are you? And besides, what part about a restaurant and a movie is a date? It's not a date. It's a get-together."

"Des, you're rambling."

"I am, aren't I?" My laugh sounded nervous. "Can you just give me money and get this over with? It's really awkward."

He stared at the breakfast again and sighed. "Alright, but call me so I can talk to this boy you're seeing. He sounds questionable."

My mouth was back to a beam as I pulled my own chair. "No, she's not."

Genesis was waiting for me at Bertha's. We weren't eating there, but it was a good place to meet. She was standing by the breads, staring at the croissants, when I tapped her on the shoulder. I laughed when she turned around. False hair was attached to her upper lip.

"What?" she asked. "Doesn't it look good on me?"

"Where'd you get that?" I touched the mustache and couldn't help but snicker again. She was such a dork sometimes. I missed this about her.

Genesis winced as she peeled it off her face. Instead of answering me, she looked around, and seeing no one, stuck the mustache on a bread wrapped in plastic. "That will be a nice surprise," she murmured. "Let's go."

Our first stop was the park. Small as Bear Creek was compared to the city, we had one of those too, with benches and bridges and all. It was remarkably crowded when we got there, or maybe it was supposed to be like that on a Saturday. I wouldn't really know because we didn't go there often.

"There's a free bench." Gene pointed to the distance. "Damn it! There's a couple heading there." She ran before I could stop her.

What people didn't realize about Genesis was how much of a chameleon she was. She could blend in, mesh well, be friends with anyone from anywhere, because that's what she wanted everyone to think. But underneath that, underneath the false smiles, popularity, and go-getter attitude, was a girl who was as big a weirdo as I've always been. I mean, we wouldn't be friends if she wasn't in the first place.

Correction; girlfriends.

Gene waved at me from the bench she'd just claimed. The losing couple was headed to the other direction, giving her awkward glances over their shoulders. Oh boy.

"Isn't it nice out here?" I said after ten minutes of sitting. Genesis didn't respond.

I made a mental groan and pushed my fingers under my legs. I thought this was going to be easy, a walk in the park with every pun intended. I thought after our sweetness this morning and her energetic burst to run here, she'd be all talks, all laughter's, all smiles. But like it always was with her, she'd reverted to her shell. The chameleon had morphed into a turtle.

"Genesis, you know I—"

"I'm hungry," she blurted.

"H-huh?" I checked my watch. It was only past nine. "Didn't you have breakfast before leaving your house?"

"No."

The jutting of her chin and the way she wasn't looking at me said that it was better if we eat. The things you did when you're hungry, right?

"We'll have an early lunch," I said. "My treat."

If the park was awkward, lunch at Roberto's was ten times worse. I couldn't sit still. Genesis and I have never eaten by ourselves in a long time, much more in an expensive restaurant. What was I thinking?

"God, everyone's staring at us." I grabbed the menu pretending to scan the dishes, but it was really my spying device. Yup, the people on the next table were looking. So were the waiters, the guy coming out of the bathroom, and gulp, that old lady with the cane. She was dangerous.

"Don't mind them." Genesis motioned to the waiter. "I don't."

We were still quiet after fifteen minutes. Genesis had grown interested at the window. Meanwhile, I had torn the tissue that came on the table to shreds, trying to come up with things to talk about. There were so many, and yet I couldn't pull up a single word. God help me.

A lightbulb moment came in. Her dress! I could compliment her dress. It was floral and pink and cute. I could tell her that.

"I like your dress!" I said it almost too forcefully that the passing waiter glanced at me. Thank God, Genesis didn't notice.

She glanced down. "You like it? I just threw it on at the last minute. I figured you wouldn't wear one, so it might be fun if I did."

Threw it on at the last minute, she said. The mental pictures that came with the statement made me nervous. I waved the bothersome thought away, hitting the glass of water in front of me by accident. It overturned and spilled, right to Genesis' side of the table.

"Oh no!"

I grabbed the glass to right the wrong but elbowed the candle holder while at it. My eyes widened when the tablecloth caught in flames.

I couldn't count how many apologies I had to say by the time we'd stepped out of the restaurant. Gene paid for everything; the food we didn't eat, the chipped glass, the tablecloth, and the candleholder I smashed to the flame in a moment of sheer panic.

"I'm so sorry," I said for the hundredth time. We were walking down the street now, a street I wouldn't pass again. And it wasn't like I always had the money to eat at this part of the town. What had I done?

We were turning the corner when Genesis swiveled to me. I shielded my face. "What are you doing?" she asked.

I opened an eye and caught her staring at me in concern. "Weren't you going to slap me?"

"Slap you? Why would I do that?"

"Because. . . Because I caused you trouble. And when Spencer and Kyle caused you trouble. . ."

"Des, I was protecting you those times."

"I know, but I've made a lot of mess today."

Genesis dropped the talk when two strangers walked by, two strangers that might have recognized her. She had bitten her lips three times when they went away. Her lips were red and wet. "Listen." She exhaled and turned to me again. "I know you have a movie planned after lunch, but can we go somewhere else?"

"Where?"

"I'll lead the way."

Of all the places that she'd want to go to, the ruins was last on my list. It might have crossed my mind to bring her there, but it seemed unlikely for a first date, especially for a girl who'd been to the city. Yet as we were walking under the trees, nestled by the burning leaves of autumn, I began to reconsider. And by the time we'd reached the crumbling steps, my worries collapsed with the stones, so much that I could finally tell her what's on my mind.

"I'm sorry!" we said at the same time.

Genesis' eyes narrowed while mine blinked fast. We spilled everything after a heartbeat.

"I was clumsy, and stupid, and so uncool!" I palmed my face. "And eating at Roberto's? What was I thinking?! I'm not rich! I wanted to impress you so much, I came out as a loser."

"I was nervous," Genesis began. "I couldn't talk. I couldn't look at you straight. I know I often come out as standoffish, but half of the time I'm thinking about you."

I stopped and stared at her. "You are?"

"Yes!" I almost laughed when she stomped a foot on the ground. "And this dress." She motioned to herself angrily. "I didn't just throw it on, I've saved it for special occasions. I do crazy things for you, Destiny, but you didn't even notice my lip gloss."

"What are you talking about? I did."

"You didn't. You were staring at the woman at the park and I was dying inside wanting to hold your hand."

"Why didn't you?"

"Because. . ." She wrinkled her nose and threw her hands up. "Because you're so special, I didn't know how to handle you!"

Both of us grew silent. In all our lives together, I've never seen Genesis lose this much composure, much less admit her feelings so blatantly it knocked the wind from my lungs. I was flattered but scared. I have never loved someone so much.

"Where are you going?" she murmured after a second. I have left her side, went to the stone steps, took the backpack resting there and unzipped it. Her expression was a question mark, but it shifted to a period as I got down again and dangled Boy and Girl in front of us.

Looking at Genesis, I whispered, "Mommy's here."

The trace of anger and confusion dissipated from her face before a blush crept on her cheeks. "Daddy's here," she whispered too. We were home.

The blanket I spread on the ground was old and fraying. We might have outgrown it figuratively and literally, but I guess some things would never change. Genesis still found the crook of my neck like old times, as if there was a magnet pulling her there. I still knew the right spot to rub her back, and that tracing my fingers on her spine would make her shiver.

"Destiny?"

"Hmm?"

"Can we stay like this for a while?"

"Y-yes."

She buried her face on my neck, and I tried hard not to think about anything but the sun hidden by the branches above. I failed.

"Destiny?"

"Hmm?"

"I'm sorry."

"I know."

"You don't." Her voice was muffled now, as if she had done it on purpose to hide herself. "The farewell letter, the unanswered emails, the pretenses. You don't know the real story behind them, and I'm sorry. But. . ."

"But?"

"I did it to protect you. And me. I was so confused. I still am now."

"About us?" I said.

"About how to go with this. You don't know what it's like to feel disgusted with yourself thinking what you're feeling is wrong."

"I do, Gene. I do." My arms wrapped around her. "But I wasn't disgusted, I was just. . . Lost."

"I was lost too," she murmured. "I told you that. But going through what I went through- it was hell."

I could only imagine. And I needed her to tell me so I'd understand. Nothing should be a secret anymore. I was done with it.

"Tell me everything," I said. "What happened to Rox? How are you back here? Explain."

Genesis didn't speak. I thought she wouldn't answer the question, but then she was gripping my shoulders, raising herself up so we were eye to eye. "That's the thing," she said. "I don't know what happened to Rox too."

My forehead creased. "Seriously?"

Genesis nodded. "One day she just stopped coming to school. When she got back weeks later, her neck was wrapped in gauze. They said she had an accident."

"They?"

"Her friends. Rox wouldn't talk to me. The next time we held a conversation longer than five minutes was when she came to Bear Creek to visit."

"That's. . . How about Mr. Morgan?"

"He accused me of being with the wrong crowd and wanted to move back here. He said I'd waste my skills if I associate myself with troublemakers. Dad had always wanted me to go into politics."

I stayed as still as possible, stitching the pieces of our lives. But there was something missing, a riddle, and though I wanted it answered, I needed to do what's right for us. For her. So despite the nasty spin of my stomach, I still asked. "Do you want to keep this secret?"

"Do you think my dad has something to do with Rox's accident?"

I balked. "That's a big accusation, Gene. He's your father."

"And I love and hate him for it." She sighed. "But no, he doesn't have anything to do with Rox. I asked her about it, and she denied before avoiding me."

I fiddled with her hair. My earlier question still stood. But instead of answering it, Genesis brushed a hand over my face, making me close my eyes.

"Destiny?"

"Hmm?"

"I told you to do this whenever you get the urge to touch me. Do you remember?"

"How could I forget?"

"Stay like that."

But I couldn't. We were not like before. She was mine.

I opened my eyes in the middle of the silence and stared at her. Genesis had her eyes closed, but to my surprise her lips were moving. 'I love you,' she mouthed. She always had. And no one needed to know but us.

A/N:

Oui- Yes/ Pronounced "We"

Has- Pronounced/disguised "us." Present tense to what's happening in the specific chapter of the book.

Destiny Jones' Playlist:

(Japanese ver.)

(English ver.) (Listen to the Jap. version above too. I promise you, it's beautiful even if you don't understand. Get out of the cultural bubble once in a while.)