Chapter23. Her

Genesis was happy. Not the kind where she'd smile to everyone, treat them with her big allowance, or did things out of the usual. She was just that, happy. And I didn't have the heart to take it away from her, even it if it meant I had to keep my silence. Because even though it's only been a few days, she was finally moving on. I wish I could say the same for me.

"Err, uhm, is Genesis inside?" I looked past the guy on the door to check if she was. The guy was too big though, too persistent to keep prying eyes away from the room. He blocked most of my view.

"Who are you again?" he said.

"Destiny."

"Who's that?"

I leaned back to stare at him. Was he new to the campaign? His face didn't register to me, but his inquiring glance was still there.

"I'm Genesis'—"

"Best friend," a voice supplied. Genesis pushed the guy out of the way to step from the room to my side. The faint smell of cotton candy wafted to my nose. "Destiny is my best friend. If you see her again next time, please don't think twice and let her in."

"Sure." The guy made a small salute and turned around. "We'll wait for you."

We waited for him to close the door and permanently disappear from our view before focusing on each other. Genesis was smiling again, but her smile wasn't for me anymore. My stomach twisted.

"Sorry about that," she said. "New guy."

"I figured."

We stared at each other for a while, not really going into any topics. She didn't go into whether her campaign was making progress, or how she felt after we went home days ago from the creek. In turn, I didn't go into details about how I was confused, how my recurring dreams of her kept me awake at night, or how every day, the thought of kissing her cotton candy scented lips becomes more abundant. Touché.

"So why did you come again?" she asked after a minute or two. The thirty minutes break was almost over. I must be keeping her from her duties.

"Nothing. I thought maybe you'd like to hang out later."

"Later?" Her eyes narrowed. "Can't."

"Oh."

She folded her arms, her head tilting to the side. "The boys have a game, remember? We're all required to attend."

"Oh. . . Ha-ha. Right." A whoosh of air escaped from my lips. Why was this so hard? "I guess I'll see you around then. I don't want to distract you from the campaign. Voting season is almost here."

I was about to move away when she caught my arm. She hadn't let go when I glanced at her quizzically. "Destiny?"

"Y-yeah?"

She smiled, and a part of me; the part that wanted so much for her to still be in love, died.

"Distract me all you want," she murmured.

I blinked at her for a few seconds, then reached out to tweak her nose. "If I distract you, you'll lose, and we need you to win so Mr. Morgan will get his ass off your case."

"Mmm."

"There you are with you mmmm again," I said. "Tell me what's on your mind."

"Close your eyes for me?"

I didn't expect her to say that, but with Genesis, expect the unexpected, so I did as she asked. "Is this fine?" I murmured.

She didn't answer. She didn't make a move to touch me or anything. I just stood there in the hallway, eyes closed, hearing the tick-tick of my wristwatch. "You can open your eyes now," she finally said.

My brows scrunched together as I did. Her smile was gone. "What's that for?" I said. "You've been asking me to close my eyes a lot."

Genesis' shrugged and faced the door. She was done talking to me. "It's nothing," she dismissed. "Go back to class."

I stood there long after she'd returned inside the room. I stood there wondering what to do with my life. Genesis was being Genesis again, and it made me more mesmerized. Why was I only noticing this now?

"That was pathetic," someone said behind me.

I didn't jump out of my skin, but I did twirl to the person who'd spoken. Woody, in her hoodie, which totally rhymed, was looking at me. "Are you stalking me now?" I said.

"I have better things to do." She nudged her chin to the door. "So do you. But why are you standing here? She's not coming back."

"You are stalking me."

"You're pathetically in love."

I grabbed her hand before she could blurt another word.

We went to the fire exit again, our usual meeting place. There was something about sitting there on the cold hard steps, overlooking the autumn-infested school grounds. It was beautiful, enchanting, and I could easily go there and set myself free. But I wouldn't. Because if I did, then I'd be breaking school rules. And some rules weren't meant to be broken, like allowing someone to move on. Sucks that my thoughts always circled back to Genesis.

"When did you find out?" Woody said. As per routine, she'd sat on the lower step, head tilted up, arm resting on her knee. I was leaning on the wall.

"Days ago," I said. Days of torturing myself, staring at blank walls and whatnot. I'd spare everyone the gory details.

"Why hadn't you told her? Assuming of course that you hadn't."

"She's not into me."

Woody's snickers were awfully loud.

"Why the hell are you laughing?!" I protested. There was nothing funny about this. It was breaking me into pieces. I kicked a leaf that had blown to the staircase straight to her, but Woody didn't budge.

"You really are a strange kid, Destiny Jones."

"And you're an ass," I said. "Why would you laugh at someone's inconvenience?"

"Because you're being stupid." She shrugged like she hadn't just insulted someone. "Genesis is so into you, it freaking hurts my teeth. Everyone in the wood club knows that."

I raised my brows. "Even Top and Shorty?"

"Everyone. Why'd you think Shorty was being suck a prick?"

I folded my arms. That still didn't give her an excuse to be rude. "Well Genesis said she's getting over me. She's happy now. I can see it."

"But you aren't."

"It doesn't matter. Her happiness counts the most." I shoved my hands in my pocket so Woody wouldn't see that my fingers were shaking. I'd been doing that a lot lately, bottling my feelings up. Maybe that was why Genesis was sad all the time. It was hella hard. Now that she was starting to be happy again, who was I to take that away?

Apparently, Woody wasn't done with it. "She's your best friend, Des. Why can't you just tell her?"

My fingers stilled as I looked at her. It wasn't that easy. "What if she goes away again and I'm left by myself? Being her best friend doesn't protect me from feeling all these emotions. Being her best friend exposes me to a level of pain that I won't experience with anyone else." I stared at the school grounds, red and fiery under the morning sun. It looked like on fire. "Telling her terrifies me," I whispered. "If it doesn't work out, who will I want to run to? There's only her."

Talking to Woody always uplifted my mood. If Gene was my drug, Woody was my medicine. And oftentimes, taking medicine makes you see clearly. It made you less dizzy, less anxious, less blind. Maybe I should have focused on the less blind part. Maybe then I wouldn't have bumped into someone on my way to the classroom.

"Ow!"

"Ugh!"

I touched my burning forehead and glanced at my victim, a slim brown-haired boy about my height, his bangs covering one side of his forehead.

He looked at me the same time too, then gave the nicest smile I've ever seen in a guy, not counting Brad or Spencer. He was beautiful. "I wasn't paying attention," he said.

"Me too." I rubbed my forehead. "Let's call it even."

"Wait," he said when I side-stepped him. He didn't touch my arm, though he looked like he wanted to. "Can you help me for a second? I'm kind of lost."

I hung back and shrugged. So that's why his face didn't ring a bell. There were lots of new people today. "Sure," I said. "Who are you looking for?"

"I'm searching for Aunt Maggie's office. She said it's on the second floor, but I looked forever and didn't find it."

I smirked at him and reached for his face. The smile on his lips turned to wonder as I tilted it to the hallway on our right. "You just missed it a couple of doors over. And we don't really call her Aunt Maggie here. We refer to her as the Principal. Consider that when you're asking again." I let go of his chin.

"I guess I should have been clear about that." He chuckled. "What's your name again?"

"I didn't give it to you."

He rolled his eyes and held a hand. "In that case, I'm Rox."

"Destiny." We shook briefly. "Rox is a very girly name, not that I'm being sexist."

"That's because I'm a girl," he said.

It took a second for his words to sink in. It took a second more for me to look at him, or her, again. Faded jeans, t-shirt, a jacket thrown over it, and white sneakers. Add to that her short hair, playful brown eyes, trimmed brows. No wonder I thought of her as the prettiest boy ever.

"Yeah, I get that a lot," she said as if hearing my thoughts.

I cringed at her. "Honest mistake. There's not a lot of, uhm. . . Boyish girls here."

"Lesbians, you mean." She winked.

"Yeah, that." I looked to the window so she wouldn't notice my blush. That would be a dead giveaway, and I wasn't even entirely sure about myself or what I was. I wasn't ready to talk about it to anyone save for small bursts of conversations with Woody. "So yeah," I said. "The Principal's office is right over there. I need to go to class."

"Alright," she said. "Thanks for helping me."

"Ditto. Thanks for asking me."

We were about to part ways when she craned her neck to the other way, exposing the side I didn't notice before. Rox must have seen me looking because she stopped on her tracks and pointed to her burn scar. It covered almost half of her neck. "Accident," she said.

I waved my hands frantically in front of me. "No need to explain! I'm sorry I was looking."

"No problem." She gave me one of those smiles again and motioned down the hall. "See yah."

"See yah," I said.

A bag of cinnamon rolls was waiting on my table when I got there. The teacher didn't seem to mind that I was a few minutes late, but Spencer gave me a questioning glance when I sat. A glance I didn't return.

If Genesis and I were trying to pretend that life moved on, Spencer and I stopped at a moment in time where everything was wrong for us. There were occasional nods here and there, especially where Ester was concerned. But apart from that? I wasn't that ready to forgive him, so he'd leave me a bag of rolls every single day.

"We have a game this afternoon," he whispered. "I hope you watch."

I kept my eyes firmly in front. It was tearing me apart that we were like this. He was like a brother to me. Used to be a brother to me.

"Destiny, I'm so sorry." He tried again. "If I can only redo things. If I can only. . ." He took a deep breath and buried his face on his hands. "I want to kill myself."

"Shut up," I murmured.

"But it would be easier, wouldn't it? You're never going to forgive me at this rate, and I don't think I can live with myself knowing I almost. . ." He groaned. "I'm going to do it."

"Shut up, Spence."

"Ester will forgive me eventually."

"Shut up."

"I'm writing a note and—"

I threw the bag of cinnamon rolls to his face and stood. "Shut the eff up, Spencer Gonzales! How can I forgive you if you're dead?! How do we solve things if you're thinking like that?! There are so many girls who are willing to go with you! So many girls that aren't me!"

I finished my speech and sat back, aware that we've made a scene again. But what could be more important than preventing your semi-ex-brother from dying even though you're mad at him? Or for that matter, realizing in that few seconds of shouting that life was too short to keep what you feel inside?

"I'm sorry, Mr. Williams," I said to the teacher. "I'll take detention after class." I glanced at Spencer again. "Kill yourself and I'll hurt you. Got it?"

"Got it," he mumbled.

Detention didn't happen after classes. The boys game did. After apologizing profusely to the teacher for disturbing his lecture, with the excuse of having a severe PMS attack that he didn't buy for a second, I was off the hook.

But of course I wasn't off the hook with the football game. I was a few minutes late, but I needed to attend as a requirement. Because of that, I hurried to the field, texting Ester and Genesis along the way.

'Talked to the teacher for a while. Save me a seat, Es.'

To Genesis, I said, 'There's something we need to talk about. Are you free after the game?'

Both texted me after a minute. I checked Ester's messages first. 'Already saved you a seat at the usual. Bought corndogs too. Hurry up. Genesis and I are waiting.'

My fingers shook while reading the second message. It was from Gene herself. 'I'll try to find a way to ditch Dindo. What's this about?'

'I'll explain everything later,' I texted back.

Cheers and yells greeted me when I got there. It didn't help that it was a Home versus Away game, and we were in our turf. It was still too loud.

Excusing myself through the crowd to get to my seat, I felt not only the school spirit oozing out of every screaming teenager at Bear Creek High, I absorbed their nervousness too, doubling my own. I was already nervous as it was because of the dreaded talk later with Genesis. Now it was increased tenfold, making my heart palpitate together with the background music somewhere on the field.

Ester and Genesis waved at me from the seats. I didn't spot Ester's braniac friends or the people from the campaign. Secretly, it made me happy. It was just us again. No additional.

By the time I got to them, the crowd was going wild. The game hadn't fully started, and people were banging their soda bottles on whatever hard enough surface they could to make some noise.

"Crazy crowd," Ester said when I sat. They saved me a seat between them. "I didn't imagine it could be like this."

"This is tame compared to the city," Genesis replied. She had to yell to be heard above the noise.

"Do you watch football there often?"

"I had to for Brad." She wrinkled her nose. "I hated every second of it."

"I hate every second of this too," Ester agreed. "Remember, if a fight breaks out, stick to me going to the exit. I've seen the blueprint of the place. There are tons of hiding spots." She and Genesis made thumbs-up signs before Gene focused on me.

"Hey there."

"Hey," I said.

She smirked and grabbed a corndog from her lap. The paper container it was resting on was soggy with oil. "We saved one for you."

Before I could ask her to give it to me, Genesis was already holding the food next to my mouth. I took a big bite and smiled while I chewed. "Yum."

"Uh-huh." She swiped a small bit from the side of my lips and popped it in her mouth. "We used to love this oily old thing."

"I still love it," I confessed.

"Me too."

She made me take another bite and watched while I ate. Something in my chest was beginning to flutter. What was supposed to be an oily food was starting to get sweet. I swallowed the remaining food in my mouth and try to come up with air.

"Are you alright?" she asked.

"Yeah. . . Genesis, about later."

"Hmm?"

She was staring at me intently. She was watching my mouth with her own lips slightly opened. I was about to tell her something to tide us over until our talk later, but then someone had called her name.

"Genesis Morgan."

Gene withdrew her gaze from me and scowled. Her scowl turned to a frown. The frown transformed to fascination, and then a smile formed on her face. "What are you doing here?!"

Rox ducked and excused herself from the cheering students. She was unbearably getting close to us. "I'm visiting Aunt Maggie. I thought I'd see you too." She noticed me and did a double take. "Destiny! Small world."

I was surprised to see Genesis standing. She'd never stood for anyone but me. Even more when she reached out, pulled Rox to her, and gave the new girl a big embrace.

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