30. birthday bash

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"Birthday bash?" Aaron asks on the other end of the phone line.

"Yeah, a birthday bash."

"Why can't she just call it a party?"

I sigh. "I don't know. I guess bash sounds cooler than party does... It does, right?"

"I guess so."

I bite the inside of my cheek, thinking of something I can say next. But luckily for me, Aaron breaks the silence between us.

"Okay, anyways — I, um— I can't go. I'm busy today," he says, finally responding to the initial question I asked when after almost ten minutes, I built up the courage to call him. "I gotta help my parents with this thing for my sister."

A flash of disappointment travels through my body. Considering Aaron was my one and only hope in a companion to Madison's birthday party, I now have to show up by myself. The idea alone makes me nervous.

"Okay," I reply. "Well I've got to start getting ready then. I'll talk to you later."

I hang up, realizing afterwards that I didn't let him respond. If I had to guess, he probably would have told me to have fun and stay safe.

I wish I knew what me and Aaron are. We're not in a relationship. We're not just friends. But whenever I try to bring up the topic of our current state, he shoots the conversation down almost immediately. I understand— taking things too quickly won't do us any good. But all I want to know is where we're headed. It's all I can ever think about.

We don't text. We don't call each other. We hardly talk outside of school, only texting indirectly through the group chat with me, him, Devin, and Asher. I wish I had the confidence to ring him up whenever and spark a conversation with him. But I can't. Hell, my recently-called list consist of me and Asher's phone calls that happen way more frequently than I'd care to admit.

I shrug it off as I begin searching for an outfit to wear to the party.

Fun fact: I never used to shop.

I didn't find a reason to. I hardly went out, so it didn't really matter what I wore when I did. It was between different shirts of the same style and jeans of various washes. I was perfectly okay with it. It's not like anyone was looking at me, taking note of my lack of style and fashion sense.

It's not that anyone's looking at me now. It's that I'm looking at everyone. Every day, I'm faced with girls who have more confidence than I could ever embody and express it through their clothes. Devin with her short tank tops and distressed jeans. Madison with her crop tops and mini skirts.

So I've started online shopping. Collecting pieces here and there. My mom would be so happy to find that the money she gives me every once in a while feeds into my desire for new clothing options.

I pick out a light yellow top with thick straps and scrunchy-looking fabric on my breasts. I slip on my favorite pair of black jeans and my white tennis shoes.

Good enough.

Now I just need to figure out how to get there.

"Where did she put the keys?" I whisper to myself as I search the kitchen drawers for my mom's keys to the car she keeps in the garage.

A realization comes to mind as I shut the last drawer in the kitchen. I walk over to the door that leads to the garage.

The keys are in the car.

I open the door of the black Audi. The interior smells new— just the way she bought it a couple of years ago. I run my hands over the smooth surface of the steering wheel.

You can't drive, stupid.

Madison's house is only about a five minute drive from my own. If I'm careful, I can get there safely— without a scratch on the car or myself. I push the button to ignite the engine. The interior lights up red. My eyes widen once I realize I have absolutely no clue on what any of the buttons do.

Never mind.

I turn the car off, quickly getting out of the car after grabbing Madison's birthday gift and my small bag that only contains chapstick and my cell phone.

No big deal. Walking has always been just as fine of an option.

-

"Happy birthday!" I exclaim over the loud music as Madison opens the door to her house.

"Thank you." She smiles as I hand her the bag with her gift inside. "I'm so glad you came."

"Yeah, of course." I nod. "Thanks for inviting me."

She gives me another friendly smile before gesturing for me to enter. By the looks of it, her family's definitely not here. I'm not sure why I expected something a lot smaller— it is Madison's eighteenth birthday, after all. Of course there'd be a ton of guests.

The lights in her house are all turned off, giving the house a dim look with the exception of a colorful disco light in the room farthest to the back— which seems to be the main area for the guests. A door in the same room leads to her large backyard, where there are also groups of people hanging out.

"Hey, Estella," Vanessa says as she walks up to me with a smile. She holds a red cup in her hand. "I didn't think you'd show up."

"Why not?"

She shrugs. "I don't know— two weekends of parties in a row? It just didn't really seem like your thing, honestly."

I smile tightly, shrugging. "Well, here I am."

"Estella?" A voice sounds from behind me. I turn around, an involuntary sigh of relief eliciting from my throat once I lay eyes on Asher.

Thank. God.

"Nice talking to you," I say to Vanessa, waving as I walk away from her and toward Asher instead.

"Hi." He smiles, looking me up and down.

He wears tan pants, a black t-shirt, and a brownish- tan plaid flannel on top. A typical Asher outfit.

"Hi," I reply. "I'm really glad you're here because if you weren't, I would have definitely been a loner the entire night because I don't know many people here besides you, Vanessa, and Madison."

His eyebrows furrow. "Who?"

I begin to laugh, but my amusement dies down when I realize he's not joking at all. He stares at me with a confused smile.

"Asher..."

"Yeah?"

"You don't know who Madison is?" I ask him. "It's her birthday party. You're at her house right now— Asher, please don't tell me you came to this party not knowing that it was a birthday party."

He sighs. "Estella, I came to this party not knowing it was—"

"You can't do that!" I shake my head. "It's rude. I'm assuming you didn't get her a gift, then."

He shakes his head, putting the rim of his cup to his mouth before replying. "No, but maybe I can write my name on yours? You know, like a... a two in one type of thing."

I narrow my eyes at him. He presses his lips together to stifle a smile.

"No."

"Please, Estella?"

I shake my head. "No."

He shrugs. "Well, I tried. Let's find something to eat."

He grabs my ahold of my hand and leads me into the kitchen. There are about five open boxes of pizza scattered on top of the kitchen counter. Without another second of thinking, he grabs a pepperoni slice and takes a bite.

"How'd you get here, anyway?" He asks after chewing. "You— you don't know how to drive. Did Aaron bring you?"

I shake my head as I grab a paper plate from the tall stack near the pizza. "I walked."

He stops from taking another bite. "You walked?"

I grab a slice from the same box he did, nodding my head. He offers me the bottle of ranch on the counter and I shake my head, disgusted by the thought of putting ranch on my pizza. "Yeah. It's not like I live far from here. It only took me about... fifteen minutes."

He stares at me like I've just said the most absurd thing he's ever heard. I look back at him as I sit down at a stool by the counter, setting my food down in front of me.

"Why didn't Aaron drop you off?"

"He told me he was busy."

"Busy doing what?"

"I don't know." I shrug. "Something with his family."

He furrows his eyebrows in thought before taking another sip of his drink.

"Well why didn't you ask me?"

"Asher, it's not a big deal," I say before taking a bite of my pizza. I grab a napkin and wipe my mouth. "I didn't know you were coming— or if you were busy. You're a busy guy. Your car's hardly ever outside of your house."

"You stalking me, Estella?"

"No, I just live down the street from you."

"Yeah, exactly. I live down the street," he replies. "I told you that whenever you need a ride, you can call me."

"Okay." I laugh, shrugging. "Well if it's makes you feel any better, I will be needing a ride back home."

"Then I guess I'll have to stay sober," he sighs as he tosses his cup into the trash can. "The things I do for you, Estella."

I smile, taking another bite of my pizza, which doesn't have nearly enough pepperoni on it for my liking. He asks me if I want something to drink and then proceeds to grab me a canned lemonade from the cooler in the kitchen.

"I'll be back," he says after he opens the can, handing it to me.

I nod, taking a sip of my lemonade before continuing to devour my food. I didn't realize just how hungry I was until I set it down in front of me.

Just as I'm about to take another bite, a girl with big brown eyes and dark curly hair sits on the chair beside me.

"Hey! Estella, right?" She asks me with a smile.

"Yeah," I reply. "Sorry— I don't think we've met before."

"Oh, we haven't." She shakes her head. "I'm Allison."

Allison.

I can't help but feel like I've heard the name before. My brain searches through my memories for when someone mentioned her in a conversation.

"You're new, too!" I exclaim the second I recall my conversation with Madison the night before we left from camp. "Madison told me about you a while back."

She nods her head. "Yeah, she told me about you, too. I've been wanting to talk to you, but— well, I don't know. I guess I never really have the courage to?"

I give her an understanding smile. "Well, I'm glad you did."

She hums in agreement. "So you and Aaron are finally dating?"

"What?" I ask dumbly.

"You guys look really cute together." She smiles. "I would have gone up to you sooner, but you guys looked all couple-y. I didn't wanna interrupt."

I pull my eyebrows together in confusion at her words. "Wait, do you mean right now?" I ask, tilting my head. "Aaron? He's, um— he's not here."

The smile from her face drops instantly. She looks around the house, her eyes stopping in the direction in front of us. She brings her finger up subtly, pointing to a group of guys standing by the keg.

"Is that... is that not Aaron?"

I look over at who she's pointing to. My eyes immediately land on him. Laughing with a group of guys as he begins backing away from them.

"No... no, that's Asher," I say slowly, turning my head to face Allison again.

Her mouth drops open. "Oh my—" She says as she begins to lift off of the stool. "I have some explaining to do to some people. Um— sorry, I thought that was Aaron. Who's Aaron, then?"

"His best friend."

She nods. "Okay. I see now. Well, it was really nice meeting you, but I have to find Madison and explain some... stuff to her."

Before I know it, she's out of the stool and speed-walking away from me to find the guest of honor. I look back over to Asher, watching as he makes his way back over to me.

Aaron never talked to Jacob in the lunch line when we were at camp. Never threatened him to stay away from me after the scene they caused in the mess hall the morning we arrived.

Asher did.

"Sorry about that," he says, leaving over the counter, directly in front of me. "Being likable is so exhausting sometimes. I'm sure you can relate."

I stare at him, shaking my head. He looks around, probably uncomfortable with the way I'm studying him as though I've never seen him before.

"Are you... is everything alright?" He asks.

I nod. "Yeah, sorry."

"You're good."

I look down at my lemonade, running my index finger along the rim of the can.

"We should dance," he says, breaking the silence between us. "Come on."

I want to ask him. I should ask him.

Do I ask him?

I shake my head, a smile creeping onto my face as I look back up at him. "You know I can't dance. You've seen me try."

I won't ask him.

"Yeah, I have." He nods. "And I happen to think you're a great dancer. So come on, get up. Just a couple of songs and then you can go back to eating pizza and drinking pink lemonade. Sound good?"

I grimace, picking my can of lemonade up. "No."

He snatches the can from my grasp and grabs onto my hand, pulling me off of the stool. I don't allow him to pull me away, planting my feet on the ground to eat another bite of my pizza.

"Okay. Let's go now."

I sigh in defeat, allowing him to take me to the area that seems to be the designated dance floor.

We've done this before. He's grabbed onto my hand and led to me the dance floor, whispered into my ear to let loose. I listened to him without a second thought, without a single doubt. The same way I'm doing right now.

The second we join the crowd, Asher begins bopping his head up and down, moving his body to the beat without issue. Just like always, he fits right in with with everyone, looking as natural as anyone could to Pitbull's Give Me Everything.

"Remember what I told you that night of the dance at camp?" He asks me over the blaring music. I nod in response. "Good, cause the same goes for right now, Estella."

I crack a smile as I begin to move my body to the beat. The song is easy to dance to. I think most of Pitbull's songs are. Laughing, I continue moving my body swiftly, keeping in Asher's vicinity the whole time.

"There you go!" He yells. "Fuck yeah, that's what I'm talking about, Estella."

He smiles the whole time, grabbing my hand and smoothly spinning me around. I can't deny the fact that dancing to the music with Asher gives me a liberating feeling. I tend to let loose around him, say what comes to mind instead of having to think every word out before it leaves my mouth.

I can't deny the fact that I like the feeling.

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