A single tear streams down my cheeks as I examine the purple bruises, still prominent as ever on my hips. I pull my shirt back down, wiping underneath my eyes as I exit the bathroom.

The pain of seeing them on my body hurts more than the actual pain of the bruises does. I can't stand the constant reminder of how weak— how stupid I am every time I take a shower. Every time I look in the mirror.

So much for having common sense.

I should have known. No one else would have entered that bedroom. Anyone else would have waited in the stupid line instead. But no, not me. I entered the bedroom. I didn't wait in the stupid line.

I'm mad at myself. All I feel is anger toward my poor judgement. I'm mad at Jacob for trying to take advantage of me, knowing how completely helpless I would be in the situation.

I'm mad at Madison and Vanessa for misleading Jacob, making him think I wanted something that I had no absolutely no desire for.

I'm mad at Brooke. I'm mad that she left without a goodbye. Without any sort of explanation. I'm mad that because of her, I no longer have anyone to talk to here. No one to completely be myself around.

"Good morning," Asher says with a smile as I get inside his car. The first thing I notice is that Aaron isn't in the passenger seat. Devin sits there instead, which is new. I decide on refraining from asking where Aaron is based on the teasing I received from Asher the last time I asked.

"Good morning." I sigh, setting my backpack on the seat beside mine. "Why are you wearing sunglasses?"

"You know, hungover from the party," he replies, driving away from my house.

"The party was on Friday. It's... it's Monday."

"Alright, you got me." He laughs. "I'm hungover from the after after party."

"God, you're so stupid." Devin groans.

"Fuck off," he replies. "And by the way, Devin, you missed out on Friday. The party was a fucking blast. She missed out, right, Estella?" He peers at me through the rear view mirror with an inquisitive look on his face.

"Mm, not really," I answer. "If I'm being honest, you kind of dodged a bullet by not going."

"Thank you." Devin nods.

"Yeah, thanks a lot, Estella."

I smile, moving my head to look out of the window. He slows the car as he enters the school parking lot.

The thought of my mom meeting with my teachers later on today weighs down on me as we walk to the building of our school. I imagine her being on her best behavior during the conference. But once we get into her car, all is fair game.

"I guess Aaron's not coming to school today," Asher announces as he looks down at his phone screen. He stuffs his phone in his pocket. "That lucky bastard."

"Why not?" I ask impulsively.

If I'm honest, Aaron being absent today gives me some time to think about what I'm going to do when I see him again. Do I hug him? Are we going to kiss again? Who knows? Not me.

"Wouldn't you sure like to know," Devin mumbles from Asher's other side.

"He's doing something with his family, I guess," he explains vaguely with a shrug.

I nod, crossing my arms as we enter the cafeteria. My feet slow down as I watch Jacob walking down the stairs with Josh. He laughs, running a hand through his strawberry blonde hair as he converses.

Completely unaffected.

Completely guiltless.

"Hey, you alright?" Asher nudges me as we walk the hall of our Physics class.

"Yeah, I'm good."

"Okay," he replies, tilting his head. "Hey, we have any homework for this class?" He asks as he opens the door, entering the classroom.

My jaw drops. "Asher, you're kidding, right?"

"No, not really."

"The lab report. It's due today."

"Fuck," he mutters. "Oh, well."

My eyes might pop out of my head if I widen them any more. He shrugs as he walks to the front of the class, where his seat is. I have no clue how he can be so casual about missing one of our most important assignments of the year so far.

"Hey Estella!" Madison smiles as I sit down beside her.

Keep your cool.

"Hey," I reply, pulling my printed lab report out of my backpack.

"You left your bag in my car," she says. "I didn't even know you had left the party until Jacob, of all people, told me. Why'd you leave so early anyway?"

"Yeah, we didn't even get to take pictures in our costumes." Vanessa frowns. I turn my head to face her, narrowing my eyes.

"Did Jacob tell you anything else?" I ask, switching my gaze between the two girls. I can already feel the anger seeping through my body. "How'd he know I left?"

"All he said was that he saw you in line for the bathroom. He told us he tried to talk to you because he thought you were interested in him, but that you blew him off," Madison explains, oblivious to what actually happened. "He saw you leave with Aaron."

"Yeah," Vanessa adds plainly. "He said he had a feeling you weren't interested in him because he saw you all over Aaron the whole night anyway. Are you sure you aren't dating?"

Suddenly, Vanessa's face looks extremely punchable. I could shove my fist right in the smack-dab center, maybe even break her nose, or give her a black eye. Both seem like appealing, viable options.

Chill out, Estella.

"Right." I nod. "So why'd he try? What did you guys tell him to make him think I wanted to spend more time with him?"

"Are we missing something?" Madison questions, shaking her head. "Cause that's all he told us."

I turn my head to Vanessa again. She nods, agreeing with Madison. "I was just curious. That's all."

They don't answer. Instead, they send each other similar looks, probably wondering the same thing.

What the hell is wrong with this girl?

"What?" I ask, stapling the pages of my report. "Do you guys want to tell me something?"

"I guess we're both just wondering what's going on with you and Aaron," Vanessa says, placing her chin in her palm, eager for my answer. "I saw you sitting with him at the party."

So, so punchable.

"Yeah, I did."

"So are you guys together?" Madison asks.

It's none of your business, is it?

"I don't— I mean, no. We're not dating."

But that's none of your business.

"Oh," Vanessa chirps. "So..."

"Friends with benefits?" Madison finishes for her.

I take a deep breath. "No."

With that, I stand up, grabbing my lab report from my desk to submit it. I've decided I'm not really in the mood to chat with either of the girls today. I'd rather spend my time thinking about the dreadful conference that won't leave my mind, or the boy that I don't think I'll ever be able to look in the eyes again without causing a flood of flashback in my brain.

"I know that look," Asher says as we walk outside to the lunch tables. "Aaron does the same thing when he's in his super-thinking mode. Bites the inside of his cheek and has that empty look in his eyes."

"Sorry," I mumble. "I have my conference today and I'm just kind of nervous."

The entire day slipped through my fingers. I can hardly remember what we did in my classes this morning. I wish I didn't care about the conference, but I do. Right now, it's all I care about.

"Don't be." He shrugs. "Teachers during conferences act like fucking angels. They won't say shit about you, and if they do, they'll sugarcoat it to the point where your parents probably won't even catch on."

I smile, grateful for his calming words. Then I think about the way he said it, almost like he knows I've never been to a conference before.

"I've never had a conference," I say as we sit down at the table.

"I know." He nods, tossing his bag of Hot Fries on the table before sitting down. "This is your first year going to public school, right?"

I nod. "How'd you know?"

"Everyone knows." He opens up the bag, grabbing a few chips before offering some to me. "At least everyone in our class does."

"Hm." I grab a couple of chips from the bright yellow bag. "Thanks."

Devin sits down beside Asher, reaching over to grab chips from his bag. He furrows his eyebrows, watching her take out a handful of them.

"What the hell?"

"What?" She shrugs.

"My chips. You took half the fucking bag."

"I always share with you, don't I?"

He doesn't reply. Instead, he just moves the bag so it's out of her reach. I take my protein bar out of my backpack, not really having much of an appetite at all. The two of them begin a conversation that I'm not listening to for the most part.

I'm sure it was one of the girls who were in my circle at camp that spread the word about my past school situation. I highly doubt it was Devin; she doesn't seem like the kind of person to gossip much. Either way, the word's out. I guess it doesn't really matter much.

-

"Which classroom are we supposed to go to, Estella?" My mom asks as we walk through the halls of my school. Her heels click loudly against the ground, echoing with every step she takes.

"My history class," I reply.

We enter the hub of the classroom, taking a look at the clock before entering.

"Hi!" Ms. Richards exclaims as we walk inside the class that's empty with the exception of her, Mr. Sanders, and Ms. Ms. Gregg, my English teacher. "It's so nice to meet you, Mrs. Ramirez."

"Nice to meet you all." She smiles as we both take a seat across from the teachers. "I go by Ms. Wilson, though."

They all introduce themselves and quickly get into my academics. Luckily, both of the teachers whose classes I'm doing the best in are here. It balances out with history, which has proven to be my weakest subject since I started school. 

"Estella's a great student," Ms. Richards says. "She uses scientific vocabulary when explaining her reasoning and works well in group settings. I really don't have any concerns. The only thing I would say is to participate in class discussions more often. I want to hear what you have to say!" She laughs.

I give her a smile, nodding my head. What do I even say to that? "I'll make sure to keep that in mind."

"Yeah, same here," Ms. Gregg chimes in before taking a sip of her coffee. "Other than that, Estella's a great student. She's submitted exemplary work for my class."

My mom nods along as they speak. From what I can tell, she seems to be pleased with their words. I'm sure that'll change once Mr. Sanders pipes up.

"Yeah, I mean— she's great. She's proved to be an out-of-the-box thinker in my class," he says. "I enjoyed watching her presentation on Gen X on Wednesday. You and Aaron did a great job, by the way."

"Thank you." I smile.

"Yeah, she has a B in my class now," he continues, addressing my mom. "I'm not worried about anything. She's thriving here."

"Well, that's good to hear," my mom replies, giving him a toothy smile.

She looks so sweet as she talks with my teachers. You'd almost think she was the mom of the year. Oh, the deceit of a smile. One of the most powerful and effective ways to lie.

They continue chatting about my academics and future plan. Ms. Richards hands my mom a copy of my transcript. I internally cringe as she scans over each of my grades. At least the C I had in History is no longer sticking out like a sore thumb on the sheet of paper.

"Alright," Mr. Sanders says. "Well, I think that's just about it. Let us know if you have any questions, okay?"

"Thank you." My mom stands up from her seat. "It was nice meeting you all."

"Yeah, touché." Mr. Sanders nods.

I smile, getting up from my seat with a quick goodbye to my teachers. My mom and I leave the classroom. She doesn't say a word until we're down the hall from the history hub.

"That went better than I expected it to."

"Yeah," I agree.

Knowing my mother, she was probably preparing for the worst— just like I was. But while I was preparing to take any criticism from her, she was preparing to keep her calm during the conference to prevent lashing out on me in front of my teachers.

"Are you hungry?" She asks. "We can get burgers."

My mom never buys fast food. I can't even remember the last time I saw her eat food from a restaurant in general. She must be in a great mood.

Did I do that?

"Yeah, I can eat." I smile.

We make our way to the parking lot. She pulls her keys from her purse, clicking the button that unlocks the car doors. I swing my backpack around before opening the passenger door.

"Backseat," my mom says a little too late.

A man sits in the passenger seat. He gives me an awkward little smile before I shut the door and open the back one instead. I climb into the backseat, my backpack on my lap as I shut the door.

I can't get a good look at the man, so I scoot over to the middle seat.

"Matthew, this is my daughter, Estella." My mom gestures to me. "Estella, this is Matthew."

I stare at him for so long I don't even realize he's holding his hand out for a handshake. Blinking out of my trance, I grab ahold of his hand and shake it.

"It's nice to finally meet you," he says. Finally? "I've, um— heard lots about you."

I force a smile to compensate for the raging emotions flooding throughout my entire body.

Who is this man? Why is he in my mom's car?

"So, where are we headed?" He asks as he straps his seatbelt on.

Who are you?

If I'm being honest with myself, already have an idea. He is a man who has fallen for my mother. He is a man that has crawled his way into my mom's life, or more accurately, her bed. I just hope he knows he isn't the only one. She doesn't believe in that concept. I'm not sure she ever has.

For his sake, I hope he understands that.

Ask him the question.

He looks back at me. I open my mouth, then close it again. I finally realize that my mom was only in a good mood because of Matthew. It had nothing to do with the success of my conference. It was silly of me to ever believe it did.

I finally muster up a smile. "My mom said we were gonna get burgers."

"Great." He nods, turning back around as my mom exits the parking lot.

My smile drops instantly. That deceitful little thing.