A/N - Music above (I think above 🤷‍♀️) works in with chapter, for those who want to listen. Enjoy!!

Being around Carol again has been absolutely fantastic.

I have been reminded of my happy childhood days with her and her girls, letting go of my lack of control with my mind and reminiscing about my younger days, when things were easier and when I was completely carefree.
Though I knew it had to be short lived, as we had planned on heading out camping again right after the visit.

Alex and I had changed plans and decided to leave Ditz with Carol for the weekend, she loved her to bits and we knew she would be in good hands while we were away. Not that Dex wouldn't care for her just as well, he would, but Carol never saw her, so we went with her instead.

I never knew why Carol didn't get pets of her own, aside from her constantly saying that she is 'much too busy for pets'. I've never been so convinced though, not only because when I was a kid she managed her two girls and me while working shift work at the local hospital, but because she always found time for everything, regardless of her busy schedule.

Whilst getting the last of our things together, and when Alex was out grabbing supplies for us, Carol had approached me.

"Getting the last of your things together?" She asked, with another question laying beneath the surface, waiting to be asked.

"Sure am." I continue to shove our soap and toothbrushes deeper into the big bag.

"Are you sure about this whole hunting thing? I mean, in your condition." Carol glances down emphatically at my still non existent bump.

There she goes.
I turn to face her, gently putting both of my hands on her shoulders.

"I'm one hundred percent sure that 'my condition' won't get in the way of a little recreational hunting. It's going to be fine. I'll be fine. Stop worrying." I remove my hands and turn back to the task at hand.

"You know I can't do that." Carol says with clear meaning.

"I promise I'm good. Happy, healthy, safe. Always safe with Alex. You know that." I stare at her then, making my point.

Carol presses her lips together in a straight line, the pressure of the action removes the usual color that lies there.

She sighs finally, "Okay. I won't fret. But I won't stop worrying. Not until you get back. Promise you'll be extra vigilant, for my sake."

"Yes, of course. I know just as well as you do that there is more than only my life to consider now, plus, we're hunting animals, what could possibly go wrong?" I ask. Though if she knew what I have capabilities for, she might be further questioning me.

Or perhaps, she would just be locking me away altogether. I wouldn't put it passed her to do that either. In all honesty, if I wasn't who I am and I witnessed my kind of crazy, I'd be looking to contain it too. That tells you a lot about my mental state, considering I don't actually see what I do as a bad thing.

"Okay, I'm hearing you, loud and clear, you've got it under control. But remember me and my concerns while you're gone, it'll give me some kind of peace of mind." Carol kisses me on the head and then leaves the room.
I imagine she is going to prepare some lunch for the road, knowing she is too motherly to ignore our need for nourishment. When I hear her begin to rummage in the fridge, I smile to myself, appreciative of all that she is.

Carol has been alone for much of my life, her husband Gareth died of lymphoma when I was only a toddler, leaving her to fend for herself and the girls after his passing. Though I never imagined she would remarry anyway, Gareth was everything to her and she has always said that no one could fill his place in her heart. I had hoped she might find someone to keep her heart happy for the remainder of her life, but the more I see her go through life alone, the more I'm convinced she doesn't need anyone. Carol is a strong individual, as much as I might like to see her with someone else, she certainly doesn't care for that idea. At least not right now.

Ten minutes later, I hear the front door open as I'm bringing our things into the kitchen from the spare bedroom.

Alex strolls into the room a moment later, with the car keys in his hand. He is decked out in cream cargo pants, a thin black sweatshirt, and his black hiking boots, ready for an adventure.

"You ready?" He asks me.

I'd opted for a similar outfit, black cargo pants, with a ridiculous amount of pockets, a burgundy sweatshirt and a freshly bought pair of black hiking boots.

"Yeah. Let me say goodbye to our little girl first. Ditzy, come here, sweet girl." I call as I kneel down and scoop her up when she runs to me. Ditz licks my cheeks as I snuggle into her, kissing her head a couple of times and then I put her back down on the floor.

Alex picks her up next and gives her a quick hug goodbye, places her back on the floor and then moves to Carol's side.

"Thanks for watching her while we're gone." Alex says, kissing Carol on the cheek and then gives her shoulders a quick squeeze before stepping away.

Carol smiles, "Of course, were going to have a great time, aren't we Ditz?" She looks at our pup on the floor, her bum wiggling in excitement.

"Thank you. We'll see you soon." I pull Carol into a big hug, give her a kiss on the cheek and then we head out to the car with our bags in hand.

As we leave Carol's street, I feel a calmness settle around me. All of the usual concerns I have washing away with the distance and sense of pure adventure ahead of us.

"This is going to be great." I say out loud.

Alex says nothing, simply nodding in agreement as we start the drive towards Modjeska Canyon, with plans to hunt around the area, but deeper in to avoid other hunters.

Incubus - Drive begins to play in the car as we hit the road, filling my mind with the relaxing trip ahead and the calm places we will be, the trees and open air allowing us to unravel all of the wound up energy within us.

I can't wait to set up camp and head on our first proper hunt together. It'll be good for us to let go of the life we have been living and breathe easy for a while.

We drive in silence, for the most part, no words needing to fill the space between us. And before we know it, the drive is over as we roll into the Modjeska Canyon parking lot, grabbing our gear from the car to head into the wilderness and settle in for the days to come.

Alex had organised a hunting license as well as a wild pig tag for us to use over the couple of days we are here, he had also done some considerable research to see where it would be best for us to hunt for deer. Though he hadn't assumed that is all we would come across on our search for game, but I believe he might have only deer and wild pig in mind for my kill.
Not that I was going to have a complaint about that, I'm happy to attempt anything at this stage.

Beneath the surface I am hoping it will give me the same thrill as killing a human does. There is a slight fear that it won't feel the same, which would mean my desire to kill lies only in human, which means that I am just as messed up as it seems. Yippee for that.

This trip means a lot to both of us. Only for different reasons. It's going to hopefully answer some questions, and also give us both a sense of freedom and relaxation before the baby makes itself completely known.

A baby.
It's still a lot for me to get my head around.
My desire to kill has been such a huge distraction for me that it's hard to imagine my mind diverting itself so easily, though surely us having a baby to consider will make it an easy transition for me.

The crunch of my hiking boots on the weather worn ground beneath my feet leaves me feeling alert, but relaxed. The fresh smell of wilderness finding its way into my lungs and soul. Settling my mind, soothing the confused thoughts that are plummeting through my head.

The scrape of fallen branches against my clothing is comforting, the low hung trees keeping my focus on what lies ahead and not what we've left behind.

I can feel my mind loosening it's hold on the extreme desperation to find another kill, instead training my attention to the surroundings that we traipse through. The act alone is enough to calm all of my senses.
Not only that, but I feel as though I can breathe clearly here. There's nothing distracting my mind otherwise, and it feels so good to be free of that.

Complete freedom envelops me, and I let it soak firmly into my skin as we continue our walk deep into the wooded area.

I could never have imagined what this trip could bring.

Keep it coming, I'm ready for the calm.

:::::::::::::::::::

A wee bit of a slower one here, I wanted you guys to get an idea of how chaotic Danica's mind can feel for her. This trip is supposed to help her open up and let loose in a different way to how she usually would.

I guess time will tell though.

The art of killing has sunk deep in her skin.
But will the baby make her want to change her ways after this camping trip?

What do you think?

Thanks for reading, voting and/or commenting, you guys rock.

Speak soon,
Shantelle. 🤗