Alex POV

As much as she believes that she has me fooled, she is dead wrong, because I know that Danica isn't being honest with me.

Without letting on, I stare at her sidelong.
I take a long moment to witness her overall demeanour, and it's safe to say that I'm not even slightly convinced of her spoken feelings about our predicament.

The look that clouds her features as our night rolls on quietly is almost ghostly. Danica sits on my left, completely still. The mask now fully drawn over her face as a shield. Her usually bright green eyes are half glazed over, now stuck staring ahead, but they are unseeing, and her mind is definitely elsewhere, not here with me in this moment.

We sit silently beside each other on the sofa, watching the last twenty minutes of Law Abiding Citizen, the room quiet aside from the television. Something about the moment makes me think of being frozen in time. Nothing moving around us. No life exists aside from us. In a time capsule. It's eerie and all too uncomfortable, I reach over and squeeze Danica's hand gently in mine to break the sensation, though I get no reaction.

I clear my throat noisily, hoping to shatter the deadened moment, but it changes nothing, leaving me to think further on what's ahead.

There is so much to consider.
The best way forward. How to handle her. How to guide her towards logic and a safe solution. It's going to be difficult. I'm going to need to tread carefully. Danica is going to be on edge. Though she doesn't know it yet, but I can see and sense it. As much as she knows what's right and what must be done, it's going to take more than that to pull her from the thirst.

And here I was thinking that Danica was a challenge for me to manage before.

Now she is like a giant angry bull in a china shop, but those very delicate pieces of china contain explosives, and if we even graze one, it'll obliterate into a trillion tiny morsels, damaging everything and everyone within its path.

Fucking hell.
What have we gotten ourselves into?
More so, what the fuck am I going to do here?

This is a whole new ballpark.
I thought things had been complex before. With not knowing what had started Danica's dreamlike state, then there was accepting that she was killing, then, there came the overwhelming thirst for more blood, more torture, then the lack of control altogether.
Now add to the equation a baby.

Is there even a safe result?
I'm not so sure, this could be the worst decision of our lives, but one were both willing to make and risk. That could say a lot about our combined state of mind, and perhaps it also says very little. I'm sure worse decisions have been made over the course of human existence. We are flawed beings after all.

I glance again at Danica, her body still unmoving, but relaxed and pressing back into the softness of the sofa. How can someone be so completely out of it, but look so comfortable at the same time? As the thought leaves my mind, her body twitches once and she pulls herself from the fog, turning her head to focus on me.

"I'm going to have a bath. Just relax for a while." She says in a monotone voice, sounding completely unlike herself.

I nod, saying only, "Enjoy."

Danica doesn't respond, instead rising like the living dead from the sofa and heading for the hall, disappearing from sight as I hear the bathroom door close tightly behind her.

She's definitely not her usual self. Lost to her thoughts and the future ahead of us. The same as I am. Mentally preparing ourselves for the days to come, the people we must be to get through this together. The challenges we now have no choice but to face.

Hello by Evanescence starts to play from the bathroom, the music hauntingly beautiful, but it truly couldn't be more accurate for Danica's current mood.

[There should be a GIF or video here. Update the app now to see it.]

As the music drifts in to the sitting room, I dwell on my part in all of this.

I'll have to muster up all of my inner strength to get through this. It'll be a battle I've not faced before, one I'll never have to face again. Because as far as I see it, one child is more than enough for us, for good. We don't know what the future holds and I'd rather not complicate it further by considering adding more children to all of this.

I wonder if Danica is thinking the same thing. Accepting that this could be good for us, but also that it's not something we can wholly rely on either. There's too much to consider when there's one innocent to think of, let alone keeping a balance with our normal lives. Because Danica will want to return to work after the baby is born, eventually, it's just who she is.

But first, before any of that comes into the works, we need to make some significant changes with our lives now.

Specifically, changing her one track mind in terms of people that catch her eye at work. Though, I feel like there is somewhere else we could start first, and I mean that I believe we should get rid of her stash of weapons. After all, it is only a temptation for her by having them here within reach.

Pushing myself up onto my feet, I make a direct route to our bedroom, then head straight for the walk in wardrobe.

The doors open as though they are presenting the bag to me. Shining a bright light on the past. Everything Danica needs to hunt, trap and kill someone. She won't be needing them now.

I grab hold of the handles and drag the bulging bag out. Slowly I undo the zipper and begin to pull out the multitude of items, lying them on the carpet in a neat and orderly manner, one by one.

Tucked into the sides of the bag are her knives - Bowie, butterfly, paring - in amongst others and all are sharpened to perfection. Her selection of guns, free of fingerprints and each one full of bullets. Her gloves, lying together, clean and ready for action. A single syringe is inside a zippered end pocket, with the cap on and liquid secured within. I frown as I'm not sure what it contains and maybe I'd rather not know what she is messing with otherwise, I've had enough to wrap my head around as it is. And as I continue to disassemble her bag of goodies, I come across her many choices for containing someone. Ropes. Zip ties. Duct tape.

Once they're all laid out, I stand up and step back to survey the contents. And the amount of supplies that she has is staggering. The carpeted floor is covered from the foot of our bed, from left to right and around one side. There is so much to see before me. I never imagined there was so much that she had accumulated in this short amount of time.

"What are you doing?" Danica says with a very clear amount of accusation from behind me. I'd not heard her approach, engulfed in the sight before me.

I turn and face her, Danica stands before me with a black towel wrapped around her flushed body, arms folded firmly across her chest. And as she stares absolute daggers at me, I'm made all too aware that she isn't happy.

Ignoring her sudden mood change, I say with flippancy, "We've got to start somewhere. I thought this was a good place." Then turn to look at the carpet again.

Storming over to my side Danica gestures to the assortment at our feet, "This isn't where we start."

"Why not?" I press, testing her.

She huffs through her nostrils, her right fist meets her hip with defiance, "Well, I think I need to learn some restraint. And having these around could teach me how to hold back."

I resist the urge to respond with 'sure, sure' and instead say, "I reckon it's better if we do the whole, out of sight, out of mind, deal."

Danica purses her lips. Her cheeks redden with frustration. This is a big test for her. These items have become treasures to her, items of joy. And I believe it could help to rid her of them completely. But really, this is all a mystery to me too. It could be the worst decision for her.

"Can we just leave it for now? Please?" She asks gently.

Perhaps she's in two minds about what's right for her right now, I can't tempt the darkness with her. The ground is too shaky to aggravate. I have to let her have it her way for now.
But not for long.

"Okay." I say, adding, "For now."

A steely look crosses her eyes, like a thick cloud of dust had suddenly been stirred by the wind, though it passes in a split second and her demeanor transitions completely, her face instead becoming light and open.

The fractious bull is easily tempted. I remind myself that I need to go easy with her.

Baby steps, ironically.

::::::::::::::::::::

I know, I know, it's been ages since I posted, it's crappy and I don't like it either, but with these bloody mirror sites sucking up my hard work and spitting it out without my knowledge, I have to pull back and be silent sometimes.
I'm sorry. Really, I am.
This year is the year I plan on looking into publishing my series and I can't have leeches sucking it out from under me. Huff!

Rant over.

Danica is walking a fine line right now, it'll be interesting to see where her mindset is. We will get a good look at that in the next chapter.
Digging in the muck to find sense.

Do you think she is okay with everything?

How do you feel about Alex's thoughts about her?

Do you think he is right to try and take away her tools of choice?

What would you do if you were in his place?

Do you think this is too much for them to take on?

Keen for the next chapter??
Me too!!

Lol.
Alright, onwards!
See you all soon,
Shantelle 😉