When i woke up the next morning, i heard sniffling and whimpering from the bathroom, the door was open making it easier to hear.
Silently, i got myself out of my bed and walked into the bathroom. Franks arms were covered in red and a piece of broken glass was resting on the floor by the shower.

I rushed over to him and he continued to cry, he didnt move or anything at my presence so i started to dab at the cuts with tissue. I quickly went over to the cabinet and got out some supplies. Sitting back by his side, i opened a liquid that said it cleaned wounds and pressed a tissue soaked in it to franks arm.

"Why? Frankie, why?" I mumbled as tears escaped my eyes and rolled down my cheeks.
"Im sorry." And frank kept repeating it as i bandaged his arms.

Before any nurses could see, i gave him a long sleeved shirt and cleaned up the floor, disposing of the glass. Frank and i were still alone, so i decided is ask him.

"Frankie?"
He looked up at me with his tear stained face.
"Where, did you... you know. Get the glass?"
He sighed and whispered.
"I snuck it into this place on our way back from New York, id found it in the theater."
"Oh." Was all i said as i embraced him into a hug and wouldnt let him go.

Silence settled upon us for a long while until i asked him why he did it.

"Because i think things i shouldnt."

He was quiet as he spoke, and i didnt push him to elaborate, i knew crying was exhausting to i let him fall asleep in my arms.

I began to become jealous of him. He managed to cut himself. I miss that, the bittersweet feeling of pain. I miss it so greatly.

Stop it Gerard, you are here to get better, not relapse.

I didnt let myself sleep that night, i stayed there the whole day as frank slept in my arms, only waking up when we had to eat and once to take a piss. If i had one wish right now, it would be to never, ever, let him get hurt again.

He makes me smile, laugh, feel good about things. Hes pretty adorable and hes so sweet to me.

Who knew, pain could look so pretty? I thought as i watched him sleep, the tear marks still laying across his face.

Not that i wanted him to feel pain, never would i want that. Upon my worst enemy i wouldnt wish this pain. But he looks so beautiful.

Frank makes me happy. I know its stupid but he does. He makes me feel things in a way ive never felt them before.
Theres happy, like with mikey. Then theres a different happy, with frank. And lord i would do anything to feel that kind of happy forever.