Fuck Niggas

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Dior Saudiah Brewster

"What's wrong with you? Why you around here mopping around?" My mother as I sat in the kitchen eating a bowel of cereal. Shrugging my shoulders I picked up the spoon bringing it to my mouth.

"Ya mouth broke? I asked a question. What's wrong with you? Why you haven't gone back home yet?" She asked as I chewed on the cereal finally looking up at her and the tears started coming down.

"I don't want to go back. There's nothing there for me." I cried pushing the bowel of cereal away from me.

"I know you not crying cause Gia moving." She asked as I shook my head.

"I mean yes, but that's not the main reason." I said between cries.

"Baby, broke up with me. And it's all my fault." I cried harder as I felt my mom come closer to me pulling me into a hug.

"Awee D, I know the feeling. But trust and believe what ever a Nigga do don't have anything to do with you. Don't ever blame yaself because a nigga don't want to be with you." She said as I felt her run her hands through my hair.

"Ma, I-I-I hebrokeupwithmebecauseIgotanabortion." I said fast then started crying again.

"You did what?" She said pulling away from me.

"Say that again?" She asked as I looked up at her trying to stop the tears but it wasn't stopping.

"I was pregnant. And I got an abortion." I repeated feeling my heart break just thinking about it. "Dior, when was this? Oh my gosh are you okay?" My mom asked handing me tissue as I shook my head no.

"When I did it, it felt like the right thing to do. But now I regret it Ma. This pain hurts so bad. I have no one. Baby hates me." I cried.

"Hate? That's a stretch he's probably just mad. Stop crying please, your gonna make me cry and we don't need that." She said causing me to laugh as she wiped my face.

"Dior you always had good judgement. So I'm sure your reasoning for having an abortion is valid. And even though you decided to do that doesn't mean your not entitled to still feel sad you mad the decision. Hell if you didn't feel this way I would think something was wrong. What your feeling is okay." She said as I nodded my head.

"It just feel like I made a mistake. I didn't even think Baby would care. We're still young! I don't even have a job or a clue of what I want to do. I dropped out of school. I'm literally doing nothing with my life. I killed a man. Like I'm not in no shape to bring a baby into this world." I said feeling the tears come down.

"Baby girl you don't have to explain yourself to me or anybody. You did what you did. You gotta keep your head high and stick a middle finger to whoever disagrees." She said as I nodded my head.

"And I don't want you stressing over no boy. Dominique mad now but he'll get over it. Hell you saved him. He not ready for no baby. But he just acting like any man would. Mad cause you mad a decision with your body and he had no say. It sick the way these niggas think. They always wanna tell women what to do with there bodies but I bet you they wouldn't even last a day in our shoes." She continued to say as I nodded my head biting on inside of my lip.

"I don't think I want to go back to Atlanta. There's nothing there. I don't go to school. Gia and Essex moving back here." I said as she looked at me and nodded her head.

"If that's what you really want then you know I'm by your side. Ya dad gon be mad you breaking your lease early but oh well. My baby wanna come back home then that's what the fuck she gon do." She said causing me to smile as I nodded my head.

"Thank you." I said as she waved me off. "Just doing my job." She said shrugging her shoulders causing me to laugh.

"Oh and can you not tell anyone. I don't feel like having people sympathy." I told her as she looked at me.

"Tell them what? What are you talking about?" She asked causing me to laugh some more. I swear, my Mom was really my best friend. Yea India is too but my mom is really my Rock.

"Now go get some sleep. Them bags under ya eyes look a hot mess." She teased causing me to roll my eyes as she laughed.

____________________

Gia Amour Brewster

"I miss you too." Booby spoke causing me to roll my eyes. The disrespect was real. This nigga was really laying in my bed while talking on the phone with his girlfriend.

Shaking my head I continued to scroll through Instagram. "Imma hit you later." Booby said before tossing his phone towards the end of the bed then turning and putting his face in the crook of my next.

"Nigga if you don't get the fuck." I said pulling away from him as he sucked his teeth.

"What now. What's ya issue. We was just good, I was just blowing ya back out now you got an attitude?" He said causing me to laugh.

Yes I caved and slept with him. In my defense I was drunk out my ass last night. So drunk I wasn't even able to walk in the damn wedding. No one had woke me up from my nap, I was so mad. But I managed to wake up in time for the reception and I got drunk and ended up sleeping with my baby daddy.

"I was drunk." I said as he laughed.

It blew my mind how he really thought shit was cool.

"There's no winning. Ever with you." He said ducking his teeth.

"Not you mad cause I don't want to give you pussy. You have a whole fucking girlfriend. What type of sss backward shit you think this is? Me being a side chick to my baby daddy. Fuck out my face." I yelled sitting up now.

"This what you wanted! I been said I wanted to be with you! You think I don't want to be with you? You the mother of my kid! I want to give you more kids! I want to give my son what my parents gave me. But no you pick and choose when you want to fuck with a nigga." He yelled back causing me to laugh.

"Boo, tomato tomato." I said shaking my head laughing.

"See this the fucking problem. Every time I tell you how I feel you think shit a joke!" He spoke as I turned my head from my phone looking at you.

"That's what the fuck you take me as. You cheated on me numerous times. Had a whole fucking baby on me. My fucking bad I'm scared. I'm protecting myself from getting fucking hurt. Do you know how many fucking times you hurt me? I told you I was pregnant you ignored me my whole first trimester! You came apologizing and I moved to fucking Atlanta to give you the fucking family you wanted just to be slapped in the face and find out you fucking ya ex! And got her pregnant. And now you wanna sit in my face talking bout I take you as a joke. Your a whole clown!" I continued to yell. I was tired of hearing about his fucking feelings.

Yes I loved this man but he was still childish as fuck. And I wasn't going to put my heart out there just for him to step all over it.

"And I ain't going back to Atlanta." I said deciding to throw this in. I had already told my family, Booby was the last to know.

"So when you coming back? I got shit to do and you don't want him with my mom." He said causing me to laugh.

"My son not going back either." I said as he sucked his teeth.

"Gia I'm not playing this childish games with you." He said as I rolled my eyes.

"I'm being serious. I brought a townhouse out here." I said as he looked at me.

"So now you keeping my son away from me?" He asked as I shook my head no.

"I would never." I said as he sucked his teeth.

"Him not being in Atlanta is keeping him away from me." He spoke as I shook my head.

"You can see him whenever you want. But my son will be living with me here in New York."ย  I told him as he just laughed.

"You really a grimey ass bitch." He spat as I laughed.

"Cool." I said trying not to cry. I was done being disrespected.

Getting up out the bed I quickly put on the clothes I had on last night. We were in his hotel room.

"If you wanna see Essex before you leave call anyone but me." I spoke looking down at the bed noticing he never hung up the phone with his little girl friend.

"Stupid," i mumbled before walking out slamming there door. As soon as I made it to the hallway the tears started.

_____________________________________

Ya know I love me some Saint! mama knows best. But aweee the girls going through it.๐Ÿ˜ข๐Ÿ˜ข๐Ÿ˜ข๐Ÿ˜ข but Booby ain't never hang up...... ya know the dramaaa about to unfold. T


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