When I can haul myself off the floor, I scurry through the hallways searching for Kara. She needs to know that I love her.

That my words were not to win a dare. It was because I really love her. I want to tell her that.

Maybe if she understands, she would forgive me.

Like a maniac on the run, I run around the school looking for her, but she is nowhere to be found.

Around lunch hour, Dylan and the guys make me sit with them to celebrate the victory. They plunge four cans of coke over the table in cheers.

I find myself restless. My eyes dart over to the door, every now and then waiting for one single person to appear.

My heart picks up speed when Hailey walks in, expecting Kara to walk in beside her. But Kara does not show up.

Is she alright? Of course, she is not! But I hope she is okay. The feeling of not seeing her gets on my nerves, a dull pain that seems permanent now resides in my heart.

Hailey is in the line and I wait for Kara to show up. A full minute of torturous anticipation.

She's not going to show up, is she?

"I'll be back," I tell the guys, before swinging my leg over the bench and getting to my feet.

"Don't take long, Jenkins. It's your day, man," Wayne says, his mouth stuffed with french fries.

I walk over to Hailey, my fingers deep inside my pockets to keep them from shaking badly.

I walk behind Hailey and call her name. She spins around, her hair whooshing past me. The smile on her face drops to a look of disgust.

With a ragged sigh of courage, I open my mouth, "Can you tell Kara-"

She cuts me off with a loud slap across my face. The cafeteria stills, all eyes on me.

"I knew this would happen. I told her not to trust you jerks!" she shouts

The words get stuck in my throat, dissolving against the feeling of bile rising in my stomach.

"Keep away from her, or I'll make your life hell!" she seethes, her eyes narrowed to slits.

Noah shows up beside me, slinging an arm around my shoulder, "Alright guys, this is clearly a misunderstanding," he says more to the gaping mouths in the cafeteria watching us, "Everything is settled. We're just going to walk away. Everything is fine."

Nothing is fine. I want to hit something so bad. My fingers curl into fists bulging in my pockets.

"Yeah, get the jerk away from me before I murder him," Hailey spits at Noah.

"Alright," Noah holds a surrendering hand up in the air while steering me away from Hailey with the other, "We're going."

Noah perp walks my dumb self out of the cafeteria, his hand casually slung over my shoulder. He walks as far as the grounds before he stops, pulling me in front of him.

"Look at me, Jenkins!" he demands, his hands crossed in front of him.

I find it hard to lift my eyes away from the floor.

He lets out a frustrated sigh, "Dylan is an idiot," he says, "Doesn't mean you have to be one too."

He lets the silence hang for a few seconds before continuing, "I asked you point blank if you wanted to get out of the dare. And you said no."

I grit my teeth together. I can see where this is going, and that sends ripples of agony over my body.

"Look at me!" he clasps a palm around my jaw, lifting it so he can see into my eyes, "Now tell me why the heck did you want to go on with this stupid dare if you cared for Kara so much!"

I don't answer. I can't answer. I feel numb all over. My eyes sting and I grind my teeth deeper.

"I don't know," I tell him truthfully.

My voice is husky and raspier than I would like it to be, "I'm an idiot!" I tell myself

"Yes you are," Noah scoffs, his voice angry, "I have enough guilt in letting you agree to that stupid dare. I can't take anymore. Damn it, man!" he runs a palm through his hair.

"You trying to please Dylan is bad enough. Look, Brian, Dylan could be the captain of the team, and he could somehow be a genius in the field, despite the idiot he actually is, but that does not mean that you have to do what he does every other time!"

"It's not like that!" I lash at him, the frustration building up inside me is too much to hold inside.

"It's exactly like that!" Noah jabs a finger to my chest, "It's okay to look up to him when it comes to the field and football, but I expected more from you, Brian. I thought that you were the mature one among us, but no! That's freaking not okay! You are better than Dylan and his foolish ideas, now tell me what the heck made you think otherwise."

His eyes flash anger. The kind that tells me I let him down.

It sends a strange sense of chill down my spine. He has never told me any of these before. And I feel like kicking myself in the face. I run a palm across my face, pinching the bridge of my nose.

Everything seems foolish, now. So messed up!

"I hurt Kara," I tell more to myself than to Noah, " and it feels like shit."

"I'm glad it does! At Least that's how the Brian I knew would feel right now. Not 'awesome', like an idiotic moron!"

My mind flashes images of Kara. Her eyes. Her smile.

I am a fool. An idiot. A moron. My insides feel like a deflated balloon. Noah is right. I've been trying to please Dylan my whole life.

When in fact, he's the baby, not me!

And it feels horrible now that I think of it. I've given up Kara for someone who does not even realize what a relationship is.

Damn it!

"I have to make this right!"

Noah nods, his lips in a thin line, "That's the guy I know! Taking responsibility, like a real man!"