Daniel POV

'What've you done to me?'

My eyes open and I look around. I'm sitting in an empty white room against the wall. My mom is standing above me, her face buried in her hands.

'Look at what you've done to my life.' Real sobs are coming from her, she crouches down in front of me and I look her in the eyes. She seems broken, as if she's had enough of her existence.

'You took my husband away.' I shake my head slowly but a sharp pang in my stomach tells me that I believe her...

...I'm curled up in my blanket, trying to drown out the sound of my parents shouting at each other.

I'll just go back down and tell them I'm kidding. But I feel myself burrow further into the blanket. I'm scared of facing my mother again. Time passes by and I've been blankly staring at the wall for a while when I hear footsteps coming to my room. I quickly wipe the tears away with the blanket and turn my back to the door. It opens slowly and I recognize the footsteps as my dads. I turn back around.

'She hates me now.' I tell him, my voice cracking slightly. His warm smile grows big as he shakes his head and sits on the corner of my bed. I hear the front door slam from afar, but it doesn't phase him.

'Of course not, Daniel. We both love you more than you know.' I looked away from him and fiddled with my hands.

'You don't care?' I ask him, avoiding his eyes. I feel him shift closer to me on the bed and hear him sigh.

'Daniel. As a parent, the only thing I want for you is to be happy and successful. Success comes with happiness. If you're not happy, I feel like I've failed as your father.' There was a pause as he stood up and moved to the other side of the bed so he could see my face.

'You know who you are more than anyone. Who am I to tell you who you can or can't love? All I want is for you to know that I love you. And no part of you will ever make me love you any less.'

I smiled weakly up at him, my tense body relaxing from relief.

'And mom?' He reached over and ruffled my hair, the way dads do.

'Don't worry son. She'll come around soon...'

...I'm in the kitchen. It's two weeks after my twelfth birthday and my mother is talking to someone at the door.

My heart throbs as I realize what day this is.

No.

My dads gone out to rent us Home Alone. I'm standing at the microwave making popcorn for us. I know my mom was angry about it. She didn't want me watching anything until my winter break homework was done.

She's been taking every opportunity to be away from me. I know my dad said she'd come around, but it seems to be getting worse.

'I'll talk to her, son.' Was his response when I voiced my concern about the movie. I heard them yelling at each other in their room before my dad left for the video store. My mom walked into the living room and saw me sitting on the couch. She gave me a glare and shook her head before going back into her room.

Hours later my dads not yet back, and I'm making popcorn while my mom is talking to someone in the front. I figure he'll come in any second.

I hear a bloodcurdling scream and drop the bag of popcorn in shock.

I run in my socks avoiding the kernels scattered out across the floor. She's sobbing into her hands and there's two police officers with grim expressions across from her. I tug her sleeve.

'Mom?' She shoves me back towards the kitchen and I hover by the door looking at the officers. I feel my heart falter and blood rush to my head. One is holding a Home Alone movie case.

My vision blurs as the scene changes. I'm wearing a black button up and black slacks. I'm twelve, and my old best friend Sean is standing next to me while his mother has her arm wrapped around my shoulder.

Across from me is my mother. She's weeping uncontrollably into the shoulder of a distant relative of ours. Dark black mascara lines crawl down her cheeks and down her neck. I want to hug her and tell her everything will be okay, but I know she doesn't want that. Not from me at least.

She thinks it's my fault. I guess I do too. The drunk driver hit him when he was going to get the movie for me, after all.

Between us my father's casket lowers into the ground, and my eyes lift up to the thick, grey clouds as water starts to slowly fall from the sky and onto my face, concealing my tears.

I look to my right and Sean's gone. So is his mother, and mine. And the casket. And the graveyard. My vision blurs again and I get dizzy. I hold my head in my hands and wait for it to sharpen. I finally look up but all I see is darkness. As if on the other side of a dark tunnel I hear faint voices and beeping. I feel hands on my body and an ache in my head.

No.

The sounds fade away.

I'm standing in an alleyway and there's a guy holding a knife to my neck. I know him. His face is pale...

I know this moment. This is when we met.

I gently grab his wrist and lower it.

'Ethan?' He looks at me, his face getting whiter.

'It's all my fault.' I frown at him.

'What is?'  But he's gone...

...I'm sitting on a heavily graffitied bench, leaning against Ethan's chest. His arms are around me like a blanket. It's a new feeling for me, one of security. I look at the still water in the pond taking deep breaths. If only I could stay like this forever.

I know how this goes. His phone rings, he answers, we go our separate ways.

But it doesn't, and I don't move not wanting to break the perfect moment.

The faint sound of beeping comes back. It's annoying, like a fly buzzing around in my ear. I close my eyes, trying to ignore it.

'I'm sorry.' Ethan's voice speaks into my world as if it's an echo from the sky. I look around, then look at him.

'Why?' He looks down at me, tears are running down his face, his eyes are pained. He doesn't say anything. I sit up, feeling slightly scared.

'Why are you crying?' I move my hand to touch his face, and his eyes close...

... I'm in Sarah's house. She's babbling on about some drama that I don't care about.

No, I don't like this memory.

Soon, they'll come through the front door and chase me through the woods, and Mason will...

Mason... Thinking of him brings a slight ache to my head.

Sarah's laying on her stomach like she did last time, but her face turns serious. She's looking at someone behind me. Her face turns frightened and she looks slightly sick.

'You know, I tried to tell him-'

'-tried.' A venomous voice responded. I turn to look and see Ethans face set angrily back at her. It's paler than I've ever seen it and there's dark circles under his eyes that makes it look like he hasn't slept in weeks. I've never seen him wear that expression. I slowly sit up.

'What's going on you guys?'  They stay silent as if they haven't heard me. I'm getting frustrated. Nobody plans on answering me at all then? I open my mouth again angrily but something shifts around me. My arms instinctively shoot out to try to balance, but I suddenly feel myself spinning so fast that I'm falling down.

I'm falling, and falling, and falling.

I've been submerged in water, and I'm swimming to the surface. I look around as recognition of my surroundings slowly trickles in. There's land covered with trees in the distance, and tall cliffs above and around me. I'm in the lake I went to with Ethan... Which means I've just jumped in and he's—

I feel a tug on my ankle and my heart jumps. It's just Ethan. I knew that... He comes out of the water laughing, and I feel relieved. We laugh and splash water on each other before he helps me back up the cliff. I'm studying his face closely. He doesn't seem off or different. Just happy. I'm leaning against the tree, closing my eyes and there's just silence.

I welcome it, my head's been starting to ache. It's all black again around me and I feel at peace. I sit there for what feels like hours in silence.

There's whispers above me. They're silent and for a little I think I'm imagining them. But they're there.

Let me be.

I shove them out but they're replaced by the same beeping sound. I'm getting frustrated. I open my eyes and look around me.

I'm sitting across from Ethan in a hot tub. He's looking at me but it's different than the last time. He comes closer to me, I know what comes next...

But it doesn't come and he inches backwards, looking concerned at me.

'What's wrong?' I ask him. He says nothing but is looking at me with worry masking his face.

'I'm sorry.' Why does he keep apologizing? I release an angry breath.

'What for?' But he's just looking at me, he's looking at my shoulder. I look down at it and see blood. My heart starts pounding quickly and I reach my hand out to touch it. It hurts a little but not enough to be bleeding that much.

'Wha-? How?' The blood trickles down my arm into the hot tub, tainting the water.

'It's my fault.' I feel myself losing consciousness as the blood flows from my body. Ethans arms catch me before I fall under the water and he hugs me close. I feel his tears falling into my hair. No it's not, I want to say to him. But I can't open my mouth as I welcome the darkness that envelops me.

I'm back in the white room. There are tears pouring down my face as my mom angrily paces, lighting a cigarette. It's my fault he's gone.

'I've had enough of this.' She spits. Her hand tugs at her hair in stress. She turns to face me, exhaling smoke in my direction.

'Of what?' I ask. My voice is small, like when I was a kid. I know what she's about to do, but I'm hoping she won't. She doesn't acknowledge that I've spoken.

'Ma'am, you can't smoke in here.' Another voice enters but I look around and can't see anyone. Just the white walls. My mom drops the cigarette and steps on it, and I hear the sound of a door closing. I look around- there are no doors... 

She starts walking back towards me, and crouches down to my level. Her eyes are watery but emotionless.

'I'm sorry Daniel.' She brings a hand up to her eyes, wiping away the tears. Now there's nothing but those dark, dead eyes staring back at me. 'You took him away from me... So I can't stay with you any longer.' She stands up and I open my mouth but nothing comes out. I watch her grab her bag from the floor, sling it over her shoulder and walk out of the white room. I still can't find a door. 

I have a feeling I'll never see her again.

I lay down on the ground and move to cover my face with my hands. Only one hand gets there. I look and see Ethan sitting next to me from my left, his head hanging. My left hand is in his. I squeeze it and he picks his head up, looking at me.

'Daniel, can you hear me?' I sit up.

'Yeah, Ethan where am I?' His expression doesn't change and he makes no sign to show that I've spoken. He doesn't hear me.

'Ethan?' I squeeze his hand and I see a smile appear on his worried face as he covers my hand with his.

The invisible door in the corner of the room opens again. But it's loud. My senses are going haywire. I close my eyes and cover my ears and the noise disappears. I open them but everything's black again. Ethan's gone. My heart drops as I realize I'm alone.

I stand up but feel woozy. My head is aching but it feels as if it's being numbed by something. I try walking around and notice a stiffness in my shoulder. I look down at it. It seems normal, but it's too stiff- I can't move it. I feel my heart beating faster as I panic. The beeping sound returns and gets faster with my heartbeat.

Am I being drugged? What's happening?

The beeping gets louder and louder. I feel my breathing quicken as the pain gets stronger in my head and shoulder. I sit back down on the ground then lay on my back, closing my eyes. Calm down, Daniel. What's wrong with me?

I open my eyes, everything's blurry and I'm panting. There's something in my mouth and people dressed in scrubs around me. My head feels like it's on fire and I can feel sweat covering my face. I try lifting my arms to wipe it away but all I get is a twitch out of my hands. I feel tears leaking from my eyes as a woman moves in front of me with a syringe full of a clear liquid. No I don't want drugs I try saying, but it comes out as a groan.

"He's awake." An unfamiliar voice says, the sound piercing through my mind. The beeping is getting faster and louder, and sounds as if it's right next to my head. I'm tired but I'm being forced awake by these sounds.

The woman in scrubs inserts the syringe into a tube that connects all the way back to a bandage on the back of my hand. In seconds, I feel my breathing slow and the pain in my head gets numb again. Morphine. I close my eyes again, wanting to go back to the peaceful world I was in before.

"Daniel, can you hear me?" Another unfamiliar voice.

I'm drifting back to sleep, ignoring the people talking to me. There's cold hands on my sweaty forehead, but all I want is some quiet.

"Daniel?" I know that voice...

I drift away into another sleep.