Rebuilding Reality

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"It's alright," Perry said softly, holding her tighter, tucking her in tight between the V of his legs as he knelt in the water behind her, one arm wrapped around her waist, the other seeking out her hand and gripping it, squeezing as he kiss her hair again. "It's alright," he repeated.

"Let go!" Aeralie cried, trying to shove away from him, horror at being seen in such a state making her heart thunder in her chest. "Let go of me!"

She tried to rip her hand free, her other flying up to cover her face but he held on tight, dragging her back, keeping hold of her hand, lacing his fingers through hers and pressing the pads of his fingertips into her palm.

"Stop!" Aeralie gasped, turning her face away, "Stop! I don't want you to see me!"

"Well it's too late for that," Perry said.

"So don't prolong it!"

"No reason not to."

"Perry!"

"Kazimir contacted me."

Aeralie froze.

"He said you might need someone to sit with you and felt he was no longer the right person for the job. He said he was probably part of the reason you'd be crying."

"I'm not crying for him!" Aeralie snarled.

Her elbow jammed back as she tried to break free and she caught him in the ribs. Perry released her instantly with a gasp of surprise and Aeralie scrambled away, stumbling and falling, spinning in the water and glaring at him.

"I'm not crying for him! It doesn't matter why I'm crying! It will pass! Go away!"

"Why are you crying?" Perry asked, grimacing as he rubbed his chest, looking at her as the moonlight highlighted her red eyes and silver tears that streamed down her face from a mixture of pain and anger.

"Can't I cry?!" she snarled.

"Of course. I just wanted to know why."

"Because!"

"Because?"

"Because my heart hurts!"

The second she admitted it, the tears doubled as her chest throbbed, aching enough to force her to curl in on herself, gripping her chest as she let out another sob.

"Because it hurts," she cried, closing her eyes, "I just had to face the reality that the last ten years were a complete waste of time!"

Perry's brow creased in pain at the sight of her pain. He automatically reached for her but she shook her head violently, her hair flaring around her.

"I knew it would never amount to anything!" she sobbed, "I know that! Trust me! I was more aware of the impossibility of it all than even Kazimir but it still hurts! It was a dream!"

Her head suddenly snapped up and the rage in her eyes was terrifying.

"Do you have any idea what it's like to see a dream shattered in a second?" she screamed, "Do you have any idea how painful that reality is?!"

Perry opened his mouth but stopped. The question was rhetorical and Aeralie was hurting too much to appreciate an honest reply.

"One second and it was all over!" Aeralie cried, "Ten years of dreaming of something and it was gone in a second because of that one smile! I never stood a chance in the human world! What have I been doing all this time?!"

Perry had no reply for that.

He couldn't relate to the pain she was feeling.

He had never hurt in such a way.

He hadn't felt his heart shatter in an instant.

He had never faced the reality that he could never, ever compare to someone else.

He couldn't compete on the same level as Dalton at the moment because he couldn't be himself, he was playing Human, it wasn't the same as competing as himself in his true form. But there was nothing to make him believe he couldn't compare to Dalton – in his true form or not.

Aeralie... had just witnessed first-hand that she couldn't compare.

And it ached to see her anger and pain in the harsh moonlight and know there was nothing he could do to change it.

"I... Aeralie, I know you loved him but—"

"I didn't love him!" Aeralie snarled, making him stop. "Don't you get it? That's the point! I was never in love with him! I was in love with a dream and they're so much harder to let go of because there's never a flaw in them!"

Perry winced at the honesty of it all.

Not only had she faced a broken heart, she was facing the reality of her own foolishness.

He didn't know what to say.

For a second, he honestly wished one of his parents was sat in his place instead of him. They would know what to say. They had witnessed the same shattering dream of their own daughter. Well, maybe not his father, he was too extreme, but his mother... what would she say?

He had no idea.

He couldn't think of the words that could comfort.

He looked down at the freezing water that brushed against his legs.

Aeralie sat in front of him, trying to compose herself.

Without thinking, he reached forwards and slid his arms around her, pulling her forwards and into a hug.

"I'm sorry," he muttered and her surprise stopped her from fighting him.

He gathered her closer, looking up at the sky, brow furrowing before he squeezed tightly and pressed his face to her hair.

"I'm sorry," he said again, "I'm sorry you feel this way. I'm sorry I can't help you. I'm sorry you met with such a harsh reality and I'm sorry Kazimir isn't the one here for you because I think you would welcome him more than me. I know I'm just an outsider and for that I am sorry... because I can't make this better... I can't fix this."

Aeralie knelt in his arms for as moment, her lips pressed to his collarbone, staring over the top of his shoulder.

She slowly blinked.

Once.

Twice.

Then looked at him out of the corner of her eyes.

She was still for a moment, then reached up and settled her arms around him, closing her eyes.

"It's alright," she muttered, her tone reassuring, tilting her head to the side to lean against him. "It's alright; you don't need to be sorry for anything. I'm sorry for screaming at you, for showing you this... mess."

Perry shook his head and held her tighter.

Aeralie fell quiet for a while, her rolling heart slowly settling in his arms.

Her eyes travelled up to gaze at the sky, watching the stars and moonlight and scattered snowy clouds.

"This all started because I wanted to touch the sky," she muttered.

"The sky?" Perry copied, looking upwards.

"I wanted to touch the sky... go up there but I can't... so I settled for the next best thing and grew to become fascinated by humans." She closed her eyes again. "I should never have looked at the stars."

Perry looked at the stars, watching them glisten above, watching them back. Aeralie tucked her face in against the side of his neck, until the sea pointed something out to her.

Her eyes snapped open and she instantly shoved him back to arm's length, holding his shoulder, making him jump as he stared at her.

"You must be freezing!" she cried, "I forgot! We need to get you out of the sea!"

"What? No, I'm fine," Perry said, confused.

"It's freezing!"

"I'm... not human... remember?" Perry said, feeling side-swiped by the sudden change of tone and direction of conversation.

"But you're not a merman! A sky siren has no protection against cold water!"

"I... I never actually said I was a sky siren or spirit," Perry pointed out.

Aeralie stared at him. "Then what are you?" she asked, frowning suspiciously at him.

Perry was quiet for a moment, then smiled. "Something altogether more powerful."

"That doesn't tell me anything."

"That's because I gave my word that I wouldn't tell anyone the true extent of who I am – except Cole, of course."

"Why Cole?"

"Because he's been put in charge of making sure I don't do something stupid," Perry said with a grin. "So I can say certain things, for example, my crew all know I'm not exactly... normal. But, like you, they don't know the full extent of whom or what I might be."

"Why? I don't understand."

"Because, like you, I am fascinated by humans," Perry said simply.

Aeralie looked away and Perry reached up, resting his fingers against her cheek and turning her back towards him.

"There is no fault in your fascination about that which is different," he said gently, "Don't ever think that everything you've learnt over the years was a waste of time. You have opened your eyes and mind to a world that it unlike your own. You have taken the time to study and appreciate a world that you didn't have to take an interest in – in a world most of your kind shun because it is 'other' and rarely affects them directly..."

He bit his lip, eyes flicking away and back again.

"Perhaps you didn't get what you wanted," he said, "Perhaps things didn't go to plan. Maybe the last ten years feel like a waste because the end result was not the desired one. But they weren't because you are so much wiser to the world you exist in than others."

Aeralie looked at him in surprise.

Then she suddenly started laughing, closing her eyes as tears began to spill over again and Perry withdrew his hand, startled.

"That's certainly one way to cheer up a broken heart," she said, wiping away her tears as they continued to fall. "I suppose I never thought about it that way."

"I... wasn't sure what else to say," Perry muttered and Aeralie shook her head.

"That's good enough... that's perfect," she said, still laughing a laugh that didn't quite cover her cry, "That's just fine, Mr. Peregrine Porter, you did just fine."

Perry watched her as she tried to keep up with her tears.

"Peregrine Lore."

"What?" Aeralie asked, glancing up.

"My actual name is Peregrine Lore. Porter is just a normal name I picked."

"Does telling me that not count as telling me who you are?"

"Does that name mean anything to you?"

"... No."

"Exactly," he said, smiling then held out a hand. "It's late, won't you come to bed?" he asked gently.

Aeralie looked at him in surprise and Perry seemed to rethink what he had just said because his face blazed red.

"Wait! No! I meant it's late! You should go to sleep! In your own bed! In your own room! Alone! It's more comfortable than out here!" he cried.

Aeralie just smiled at him, her lips trembling in either more tears or suppressed laughter.

She took his hand and he quickly pulled her up.

"I think I should go back to bed," she agreed.

Perry quickly adjusted her robe around her shoulders and they headed back up the beach, Aeralie retrieving her shoes as they passed and climbed the steps.

Perry glanced down at her as they re-entered the palace and watched as she wiped at her eyes again, head bowed, face hidden behind her tumbling hair.

He looked away.

Then slowly reached over and wrapped his arm around her delicate shoulders, pulling her close as they walked, pressing his lips to the top of her head as he led her back to the dark, empty rooms. 


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