I woke up in the morning wondering if last night was indeed a product of my fantasies, just a snip from my dreams. It didn't feel real at all. I replayed the moment again and again, and again like a video tape in my head until I reached purgatory or heaven or wherever that people go when they fall into a deep slumber. Nina was forced to pound a few times on my door to wake me. I found ten missed calls and five text messages, all in the name of Chez.    

I dragged myself to the university with my right arm in the harsh custody of Nina and my left in Chez's, giving me an ear-full on how I was on the verge of being damned if I didn't take studying seriously. They were one to say when all they could manage was to chat on messengers beneath their desks under the watchful hawk eyes of the professors. How they managed to save their phones from the evil predator eye's, was beyond my understanding.

Economics classes were early on Mondays; I'd skipped through the first two lectures in time to exactly attend Mr. Masters's class. The second I entered the class, Eddie waved at me, and I remembered I'd promised to sit beside him so he could copy my notes. I slid in the seat next to his, drawing some unwanted attention towards us, including Nina—who seemed perplexed by my sudden change of seating.

Eddie was his usual sleepy self, his overall demeanor screamed slacker with caps lock on. He wore black Ray ban shades. Rowan swaggered into the class, wearing a sober black shirt—which matched his hair color. His eyes looked almost eerie, reminding me of a raven transformed into an attractive human. It all matched his gray slacks. Rowan's eyes met mine for a second, and then turned to Eddie. He wasn't quite jovial by my choice of seat though successfully continued to maintain an impassive look

"Ed. Shades off please."

Eddie sighed and took off his Rayban's. Rowan turned to flip a few pages of the textbook.

I felt a sharp jab in my thigh. "Ouch!"

Eddie leaned in, "You've skipped some units from the earlier term?"  

He passed me a horrified look, skimming the pages from my notebook.

"I didn't skip anything. I joined late."

He nodded and went back to jotting down in sleepy cursive; the more I started at it the more it seemed like a code I needed to crack, even worse than a doctor's handwriting. Ask me, I've lived with a doctor for the past eighteen years.

A few minutes later when I was sincerely listening to Mr. Masters's drone on, I felt another jab in my thigh. I glared at Ed. This guy was insane. "Follow my lead, alright?"

"What?" I raised my hands in question.

"Just talk to me."

"Look, I have no intention of taking another walk of shame to his office, better yet, being completely restricted from attending this class. If you're on suicide mission, I'm not, so whatever stunt you're trying to pull, do it yourself."

Or maybe that was an outright lie. I did want to be alone in his office, but mostly for other reasons.

He chuckled loudly, like really loudly for the whole class to hear. I was guessing he was doing it on purpose.

So much for not getting into trouble.

The lecture came to a pause as Rowan glanced up from the book he held, passing us both his signature death glare. Ed did not so much as wither or melt under his hot stare; instead, I watched them exchange some unsaid private communication. I could practically feel the tension brewing between the two. I couldn't decide what was going down, but one thing I was sure. This was dangerous and personal.

"Come see me after class." Mr. Masters growled.

Without any further ado, Eddie climbed to his feet, collected his bag, and leaned into my ear, whispering softly, "sorry about that, but I love to fuck with his head and I don't allow a good opportunity to pass."

He winked at me, before sauntering out of class.

                                                                       ****

"How do I look?"

"I'd change my name to Suze if he didn't beg you to go out with him again."

Nina's weird sense of humor never failed to amaze me anymore. The clock ticked seven thirty; it was time Rowan was supposed to pick me. I'd gone all the way and dressed in a dark halter top over skinny denims with matching golden accessories to go with it. Nina had helped me style my hair in gorgeous curls and trinkets falling around my shoulders, those which had a handful of boys swoon all over me back in Ridgewell, not that any of them stood a change against the professor.

I hadn't told Nina who I was going out with. Yes, I lied to her and made up some crap ass story about meeting some random hunk through social networking who by some miracle also happened to stay around Carmel. She fell for the white lie and I'd thought she was smarter than that.

I received a text from Rowan, informing me that his car was parked a little farther down the street. We didn't want to take any risks, not to mention, the crap load of trouble we'd get into if those shady gossip club members happened to recognize his car, I most naturally didn't want to see our careers taking the Titanic route.

I glanced around for any possible witnesses as I continued to walk down the semi-crowded street. If I only knew that walking in large size pencil heels equated biting off the already trimmed nails, I would've gladly worn my flats. It was better than suicide by sandals any day. I noticed the familiar 4WD car parked near a curb. He must have already seen me in the rearview mirror of his car, since he climbed out.

Rowan smiled at me. He wore a dark gray tee-shirt that highlighted his toned body and buffed biceps, his navy blue denims clung to his narrow hips, a silver chain dangled through the loop of his belt. I'd forgotten the fact that this man was only twenty-seven. The fact that he was drop fucking dead gorgeous didn't change the fact that he was also my teacher or the fact that a student dating the professor was not legal. I blinked back the embarrassment when I realized he'd caught me staring.

"You look beautiful." He complimented, the corners of his mouth pulled back in an amused smirk.

That compliment made all the iron-curling and sore feet worth it.

"You don't look bad yourself."

He chuckled; reaching towards the passenger side of the car he summoned a large bouquet of roses. "This is for you."

"Thanks." I smiled, accepting the flowers.

He nodded and opened the passenger side door like a true gentleman and climbed behind the wheel. He put the car into drive, "Do you know why I gave you flowers?"

"Because, they are pretty?"

"They remind me of you, Alana." He said simply. "You are like a flower. Delicate, innocent and beautiful at the same time, whenever you enter my classroom I feel at ease. I want to keep looking at you."

Was I really hearing this?

"Thank you, sir."

"Call me Rowan when we're not in class."

I nodded.

"So?" he turned to face me, "where to?"

"I don't know many places around here." I could feel the nervousness settling inside me, damn. He's just a guy, scratch that. A Man. He has all those things Chez does, but my mind was such a devil. Chez was close to a brother, the guy who'd seen me in my undies when we were four. Made a mega difference.

"You're the Boss." Then he added, "I always give a lady the first choice."

How many ladies are we talking here?

"I'd love to see what you have in mind."

"Yes, Ma'am."

The drive took longer than I imagined. Dates weren't supposed to be uncomfortable, but this one sure was taking that turn. Occasionally Rowan would change tracks on the attached I-pod, or sing along silently while I thought of ways I fire up quick conversations. So when I asked, 'Is Minnie with Cary at your apartment?' He responded with a 'yes,' without taking his eyes off the road and when after a while I asked, "Do you ever wear a shirt other than in college?" he said 'No.'

He might as well carry white cardboard neon sign's painted with a 'Y' and an 'N', why take so much trouble in talking? A minute later he said, "Sometimes."

Add an 'S' to the neon signs.

I guessed it was going to be difficult to get the professor to talk.

I went back to counting the passing trees and the lamp posts. He picked on the fact that I was mad, and by the grace of god started to talk. He asked me what my future plans were going to be or where I'd studied earlier, what subjects were my favorites, so basically, all we talked about was either study related or my pathetic future plans. I couldn't blame him though; it wasn't his fault if his brains worked like a professor when not on duty.

The car maneuvered into the a Chinese restaurant, where he ordered noodles that did not look edible but he promised me it was the best in town so I took his word for it, taking a bite. It was great. Then when we were done with dinner, Rowan took upon himself to order for dessert, never once asking me what I wanted, but who the hell was I to complain anyway? Considering I was given a choice which I decided to royally blow it.

There was one that that I was able to gather, the fact that he was a shy man; the strict teacher demeanor now seemed like a façade. He would sneak glances at me while I ate and the way he sneaked glances did a lot of things to my heart.

I had expected another round of discussion on my future plans, but he surprised me with the way he chose to change tracks. We discussed about my parents, friends, my interests and everything that was about 'Me'. He didn't seem like a sport where revealing personal information was concerned. Talkative or not, this man could practically play dumb and still manage to intrigue me. I decided to break the ice and use the spade in hand to do some good amount of digging while I can.

"Sir..."

"Rowan, is fine." He corrected me with a smile.

I took a deep breath. "Rowan, Uh..not trying to pry or anything but, I'd like to ask you something if that's okay?"

"Shoot."

"I was wondering what Ed has against you? I'm not sure why I got the impression that he doesn't like you much."

I watched him shrug, the spoon in his hand hovering mid-way, he put the spoon back on the plate. "His sister and I were in a relationship. Things went badly when it ended. Ed's just upset."

"His sister?" I asked.

"She cheated on me." He admitted. His expressions turned sour like he'd just swallowed a thorny cactus. "There are things in my past that I'm still not comfortable in talking about but, I promise you I will tell you when the time is right."

I didn't press the issue any further. It was a given he didn't want to talk about it. How many ex-girlfriends did he have exactly? That woman last night was one and now it was Ed's sister. Geez.

The rest of the dinner went with us talking about food and other subjects that didn't even qualify as conversation type, though I still found myself enjoying his company. He paid the dinner bill with a shiny credit card, and then offered me a long drive. I jumped at the suggestion, at that point I would've said yes to anything, even if he'd asked me to do pest control in his home with him.

I know, Bummer.

He pulled his car near the curb which was our pick up point, a little farther away from the dorms. I glanced at the dash and realized it was late. I imagined how difficult it would get if we were to get serious. It would get a lot tougher to sneak in and out without being noticed.

The car plunged into silence as he killed the engine; he ran his knuckles on my cheek. "Did you have a good time?"

"I did. Thanks." I said.

He took a deep breath and said, "I'd love to do this again someday."

"Me too." That said, I stepped out of the car and made my way towards the dorms, I heard the engine revive as he drove away.

                                                                             ****

A week later, I started to wonder if my date last Saturday had all been in my head and I'd imagined it because every time I tried to speak with Rowan, he'd disappear back in his office or get surrounded by the ever increasing bunch of fan girls who made a point of remaining  glued to his side. The other day, I watched Helen approach him after the noon extra session. Her glossy hair swayed over her shoulder, her high heels making that notorious sound on the floor as she halted right in front of the professor, putting me at blind sight. She dared to even put her filthy long nailed hand flirtatiously over his shoulder, patting away some dirt which was apparently visible to her eyes.

Another week passed away in similar fashion, I was only acknowledged by Rowan with a mere smile which seemed to disappear when Eddie decided to pull dirty tricks like helping me carry books to class, or sitting with his chair close to mine, evading my personal space. Ed crossed the dotted line when he put his arm around my shoulder in Economics. Casual gesture, only it didn't look so casual to the onlookers. Rowan's eyes bore deep into mine, clearly displeased and choose to ignore me after that, giving me the impression that I was the pollution in the air and not some living, moving species.

It killed me inside. What had I done to this man?

Next thing I know, I bumped right into him before the start of my history class.

There was no room for him to move or pull that 'you're the air that I breathe' line on me, he just     stood there, giving me a plastic smile though I knew he was boiling some serious shit inside.

"Good Afternoon." He wished me like the good teacher that he was.

Beating around the bush had never been my thing, "Why are you avoiding me?"

Rowan passed me a confused look, "I'm sorry if I'm giving you that impression, Alana. That definitely wasn't my intention."

Fuck this.

He hadn't known the fact that, pulling the 'I'm clueless' kinda crap on me wouldn't work, well two can play a game but, damn, if my silly heart would just stop beating so fast every time I heard my name roll off his tongue.

"Well, I most certainly got that impression, Mr. Masters."

He knew I was mocking him, "Why don't you join me in my office? I'd like to discuss it in private."

I trailed behind him to his office willingly, Nina wasn't around so I was relieved I wouldn't have to go through a round of annoying inquisition and the worst part was lying to her.

The office clicked open; the familiar scent of leather entered my nostril, he shut the door behind him making sure the hallway was empty, and locked it. I stood uncomfortably, not sure of what I was supposed to do while he got rid of the files and books he'd been carrying. After he was done, he made his way to the windows, and pulled the white blinds down, allowing only a little light to pass through the gaps. The room remained in semi-darkness.

I swallowed hard.

I figured I might as well run for the hills right now. I highly doubted I'd be lucky enough to see the morning light the next day, considering the way I shot my mouth earlier on. I tried to play cool, acting as though it didn't bother me at all.

"So," his whole I don't give a damn demeanor had changed to I'm challenging you to speak, "what was it you were saying?"

I strutted, "I...I just want to know why you were avoiding me this past week. Have I done something wrong?"

"I was hoping you'd realize sooner." His hands were folded across his chest, his butt leaning on the oak desk. I couldn't see his expressions clearly.

"I'm not sure what it is, so I would really appreciate if you could enlighten me."

"I don't make a habit of saying things twice. I don't want to see you speak with Eddie again or have anything to do with him."

Whoa. Where is he going with this?

"I see." I wasn't backing yet. "So where does that leave me?"

It was dark, but I could see him narrow his eyes at me, "what's that supposed to mean?"

I sighed heavily, how thick could he possibly get.

"I don't know, Mr. Masters, forgive me if I'm being rude, but you've been giving me all kinds of mixed signals since the past week. I thought we were through the student and teacher thing. Sue me if I'm reading too much into our last date. You never called me, texted me or whatever people do after a date." I paused to catch a breath, "I'm not even sure if I'm supposed to call it a date, considering the way you've been avoiding me in university grounds. And now, you're pissed because I'm talking to some guy in my class. What am I supposed to make of this?"

He reached out for my hand and I slipped mine into his. He tugged me closer by the waist which did not leave me an inch of space to move. I was pinned to his body, his chest leveled with my eyes. I managed to look up, he whispered. "Do you understand that this is wrong?"

I looked deeper into his mocha eyes. "Yes, sir.."

"Help me fight it baby, runaway while you still can."

"I can't." I was intoxicated by his rich cologne. I could feel my own heart hammering against my chest, I hadn't realized until now how broad his shoulders were or how deep his eyes looked, deep and hypnotizing.

Rowan grinned. "I'll give you five seconds. Five."

"Four."

"Three."

"Two."

As if possessed by some daring spirit, I went up on my toes and grazed my lips slightly with his. I didn't miss the shiver that ran through his body. I pulled back, all ready to be thrown out of his office, but instead he rewarded me with a full blown grin.

"Well, you asked for it."

Next thing I knew he leaned down and pressed his warm lips over mine, the little pecks took a turn to a more fierce stage as he swallowed me whole, kissing me passionately. My lips parted for an intake of breath when his tongue darted and swirled inside my mouth. He smelled of mint and something else I wasn't able to exactly put my finger on. I heard him moan softly as his hand reached for the hem of my tank top, pulling it upward until my skin was exposed to his tender touch. His fingers moved in slow patterns, sliding upward towards the cup of my bra while his other hand caressed my hair. We had completely forgotten that this was planet earth, he was my teacher, I was a student and this was taboo. The bell rang tearing us apart from the frenzy of lust that had taken over.

"Do you know what you're supposed to make of this now?" he whispered in my ear.

Damn my depressing height! He had to lean all the way to graze my ear.

I nodded, still not making eye contact when he caught my chin and forced me to look his way. He straightened my shirt, and ran a hand through my hair. Caressing my cheek with a back of his hand, he kissed on my mouth again. "You better run along, before I decide it's too late."

My brain registered that we were perhaps in the vicinity of a university, indulging in a forbidden act.

I gathered my bag, and filed out of the office.

I stopped dead in my tracks, my hand went to touch my chest on impulse, I could feel the effect he was having on me, my heart wanted to leap out of my chest. I giggled and a few people threw me an annoyed look as I made my way down the hallway.