It was just another normal school day where the two little boys wrestled playfully in the classroom. The timid blond one laughed at some joke his friend had cracked and told him that he needed to go to the staff room, being a class monitor had its perks and a downside. Cooper was thankful he wasn't given that authority. Waiting for his friend to return would be a waste of time so he hurried towards the basket ball court when, Austin the fat bully gave the blond boy a harsh push. "Where do you think you're going, Cooper?"

Austin was infamous for bullying the ones who seemed weaker compared to his built. He hovered over him, trying to intimidate Cooper. He knew what effect it had on the timid boy.

"Bask..basketball.." Cooper stammered.

"WHAT?" Austin spat. "Can't hear you."

"Basketball court."

Austin pushed a large pile of books in Cooper's hands and laughed hoarse and wicked, "What good is basketball when all you're gonna do the rest of your life is grow vegetables in the fields like your father. You're gonna sit during the break and complete my homework and if I see you complain to that monitor friend of yours, you're as good as dead meat. Get it?"

Cooper nodded, not making eye contact.

Cooper remained indoors the entire break, completing Austin's work. He heard the bell ring and as soon as he saw his best friend walk into the classroom, he quickly hid the books under his desk.

"Hey Cooper, what's up?" the ball twirled on his finger, sweat dripped from his shirt, "Why didn't you come to the court in the break?"

Nobody called Cooper by his given name, not that anyone even knew of it since everyone was accustomed to calling Cooper by his last name.

"Rowan..I...I had stuff to complete." Cooper explained.

Rowan narrowed his eyes in suspicious. He mostly saw right through his friend. "Doing Austin's homework again?"

Cooper made up another excuse, trying to give evasive answers.  Rowan studied his expressions and said, "If it's Austin who is bullying you, you can tell me. Okay? Just don't try to hide stuff from me because Austin wouldn't stop at homework and you know it. The bullying needs to stop."

It was easy for Rowan to say that, considering he came from a wealthy family. He didn't have to worry about studying hard or about making his future bright. Why would a child who had been served in golden plates have to worry about future?

Cooper thought the bullying would stop eventually, but it didn't in fact it got worse by the day. Cooper's desk was carved in words such as 'Loser', 'farmer boy', 'pussy' and other things that were supposed to offend him. Nobody stood against Austin, except Rowan. It was Rowan and Cooper against everyone. A rotting dead rat made its way in Cooper's locker. Rowan was ready to pound Austin but Cooper insisted on keeping quite. He didn't want his friend to be in trouble because of him. Rowan was always in trouble for aggressive fights as it is but one day Austin pushed his limit.

Rowan was in fumes when Austin mocked Cooper about his dead mother. Austin found it amusing that Cooper's mother had hung herself in their old barn. Cooper had watched his friend transform into something very dangerous when Rowan grabbed for Austin's head and pounded on the glass window, he pounded him mercilessly until Austin was rushed to the hospital. As a result Rowan was expelled from school and due to his growing aggressive behavior, his parents thought it was better for him to be home schooled.

Over the years, Rowan's impulsive behavior took a turn for the worse. He used to feel neglected, depressed and lonely because he had no friends. Cooper was the only friend he had but with circumstances and time, their friendship had also gone downhill. Rowan's older brothers were getting ready for the barbecue party taking place in his father's associate's house. Rowan watched the four year old Claire trying to climb the high swing, he ran forward to help her up. The second he touched her soft hands she screeched loudly alerting his mother in the foyer who separated the two siblings, "How many times are you warned, Rowan? Don't go near Clair. She is scared of you sweetheart."

His mother had no idea how much her words caused Rowan agony.

Claire hopped through the lawn towards Dwight who picked her up. She giggled in his arms. Rowan wanted to hold her too, he wanted to be the big brother his sister would play with just the way Dwight and Drew did. He didn't want to hurt her at all.

"Now, be a good boy and stay in your room." Mrs Masters led him inside the house, "Mary-Ann will cook you whatever you want."

"You're not taking me to the party?" Rowan asked his mother.

She shrugged. Rowan balled his hands into fists, making his way to the room upstairs. He pushed the large expensive vase causing it to shatter to a million pieces. Next he grabbed his favorite crystal kitten from the showcase and heaved it at his mother, "I hate you."

Drew followed right after him, "Wait, Rowan. I'll stay home with you."

"Just shut up and leave. LEAVE ME ALONE!"

It's not like he could help it. He hated the way they made him feel. Like he was an outcast, someone who wasn't fit for their posh parties. Rowan wasn't the son they'd be proud of because he only brought shame everywhere he went.

Only shame.

"Rowan, sweetheart..." his mother started saying.

"MOM, JUST DON'T..."Rowan's eyes were brimming with tears as he spiraled his way through the staircase, "I HATE ALL OF YOU."

  The beautifully carved intricate ceiling came into focus when my eyes shot open. Childhood memories seemed to have made their way from my subconscious and into my dreams. It was beyond exhausting. I would wake up screaming, consumed by fatigue most of the nights and find cover under Minnie's soft touch. She was my solace, my escape from the ugly reality.

I wiped the bead of perspiration off my forehead, sitting upright. I grabbed for the glass of water and downed it. My eyes traveled to the little clock on the table, it was a little after mid-night. I still had a call saved up for the weekend; maybe I can use that right now. I jumped off the bunk, pulled on the gray thermal shirt and made my way out the ward room.

The hallways were soundless; most of the patients were already asleep. There were some who woke up at unusual timings but they were locked in so it wasn't like they could walk around in hallways like me. I was still the mild crazy here, probably the sanest of the lot.

The woman in charge of the phone had already dozed off, I tapped my fingers on the desk but her head continued to loll towards south, "Megan."

Megan lifted her droopy eye-lashes at me, confused.

"I need to make my phone call."

"Can't it wait until tomorrow?" she asked me lazily, "its past midnight, Row."

I had made it very clear that I hated that new nickname but that didn't stop her from calling me that.

"I know it is, but its evening there. It's called a time zone in case you're not aware." I winked at her trying to work my charms even though she was as good as half dead.

She left me alone with the phone, the word 'smooth talker' hanging in the air. I had planned on talking to Minnie when I had left the room but I had a very strong desire to speak with Alana too. I wanted to hear her sweet angelic voice. I could only make one call a week, which obviously minimized my choices and forced me to prioritize each time.

  There was a reason why I avoided calling Alana, it was mostly because I knew she'd ask me to come back or she would probably say she wanted to come and see me in Denmark which wasn't a problem. The main problem was that I would issue her the plane ticket myself. I had left Carmel to become that someone she deserved, and if I were to talk to her and listen to her plead, it wouldn't take me a second to hop on the plane again and screw my plans for therapy.

There was room only for one call; I decided to do some cheating. I could call Minnie and Alana at the same time if my plan worked. I dialed Alana's number before I had any more time to blow it off and become a complete pussy. It was a Monday evening there; Carmel was a few hours lagging back. Chances were that she was in her dorms. All the more better for me to make a call. I'd decided I would hear her voice and hang up.

My fingers hovered over the device as I pondered over the best solution to my problem. Ready to press the disconnect button.

Screw this shit!

It rang a few times. A part of me wanted it to hit the voice mail but this other side of me was desperate to hear Alana's voice. The phone beeped as I heard her answer the call on the other end, "Hello."

I swallowed hard.

"Hello." She repeated, "Who is this?"

I was unable to utter a sound and ready to lower the receiver to hang up when she continued, "Rowan, is that you?"

I inhaled as my hands shook with nervousness.

I heard her choke a sob, "Rowan, talk to me."

I didn't. I didn't have the courage to say anything. What was I supposed to say? That I'm sorry for being such a total fuck up and ruining your life?

"I miss you so much baby, every single second feels like an eternity." She sniffled, causing my heart to ache, "I just want you to know that I'm not mad at you. You did the right thing and I will always be here waiting for you no matter how long it takes. It's a promise."

I listened to her sobs, "I don't want to sound selfish but I wish I was there with you. I love you. You know that right? None of this is your mistake. You make me go through hell sometimes babe, but my life is not worth living without you."

There was a sudden ache somewhere deep in my throat like she had sucked all the air out of the lungs. I closed my eyes for a moment and let the dampness of the tears graze my cheeks.

"Please take care of yourself. Eat your meals properly and call me back again. I don't care if you choose to remain mute but just ring me when you can."

The clock told me my time was up but I just didn't have the strength to put down the receiver, "Rowan, are you still there?"

"I...I need to go." I said.

"I love you." She said again as I pushed the call end button. Her voice was supposed to make me feel better and it did soothe me in some way but her words caused me great pain. Why does she love me so much? Why? I thought she'd tell me she didn't want to do anything with me, or worse, that she wanted me to get the fuck out of her life but all she did was remind me about how much she still loved me. Over the course of three months that I'd known her, being with me had only proved as a nasty test for her. I kept pushing and pushing until it reached a limit.

"Rowan." Megan called out to me. "Did you make your call?"

I shook my head. "Nobody answered the phone."

"You don't have to cry for that Row." There it was, the pity in her voice for the crazy man crying over a phone call. "You can come tomorrow evening and make your call again."

"I'm not crying, something just flew in my eye."

Meg probably saw right through my lies, she had been dealing with my kind for more than a decade.

Wiping the tears with the back of my shirt, I asked. "Can I get a sleeping pill?"

She seemed distressed by my sudden demand. "I will suggest you to sleep without taking it."

"Please, Meg." I begged. "Just this once."

Meg sighed. "I'll just let you take it this once. You're not supposed to make a habit of it. You understand that, right boy?"

"I do."

"Just this once." She warned and disappeared down the hall, appearing later with a pill and a glass of water. I popped it in and took a gulp. "Thanks."

I shut the ward room door behind me and settled down in the desk chair. The irregular breathing began to take pace, my hands began shaking. I was in urgent need of something. A drink would probably solve everything but it wasn't like I could find a bottle of Jack in an asylum. My hands traveled to my hair as I caught a fistful. I grabbed for the pencil out of the holder, positioned my hand over the desk and spread my fingers. With slow motions, I hit the open spaces between the fingers with the pencil.

One, two, three, four, five and back.

I repeated this over and over, the pace of the hand moved faster in perfect sync with my breathing. I let out an irritated growl as I shoved everything off the desk in one swift motion. I had to get it under control before it got out of hands, besides those fucks kept the rooms under surveillance which also increased my opportunities of customary screw ups.

I didn't need to give them a chance to raise a finger or tag me as bat-shit crazy before I even had time to pull myself together. I remained seated and let the tears flow and who said a man never cried? I could cry here without any hindrance from anyone and become fancy-free. Minnie didn't have to see her daddy crying. Facing my demons head-on was going to be an even greater adversary than I thought because this time I didn't have Alana or Minnie to keep me down. I was all alone. How would the story turn out if the villain of the story is the hero himself? Before I had any more time to remain preoccupied, the medication kicked in and I dozed off.

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A.N: Hey Guys! Hope you enjoyed reading this chapter. It reveals more of Rowan's back story. Please Vote and also Comment telling me what you think of this chapter. Always love reading your thoughts.