The second I snapped back to the real world, I noticed my surroundings and it began sinking in that I'd been wandering the streets for hours without taking notice of the flying time. My sweat-shirt appeared soaked from the heavy rain. A shiver ran through my body. My legs turned blocks of wood from being glued to one place. I slowly pulled myself up and made my way towards the dorms.

Shit! Had I loitered around the streets for more time, Nina would have filed a missing person's report.

I entered the hallway to the dorm building; a trail of water dripped the entire way upstairs. Being drained of every ounce of energy, I literally staggered my way up. As soon as I opened the door to the room, my eyes travelled to Nina who stood near the bay window. She didn't seem angry, just terrified and worried. I had been out for hours with my cellphone lying in Rowan's bedroom. She had every right to yell at me but she remained calm and offered me just three words, "I'm sorry."

The last memory of that night was when I cried my eyes out on the floor until there was nothing left and then cried myself to sleep. I woke up late that morning, finding the drapes closed. A dull ache settled deep within when I realized Rowan wasn't with me anymore.

Wait. Where does that leave us? Has he broken up with me?

For the next several days, I had resorted to completely shut myself out. I didn't talk to anyone. Just attended college, ate my meals, completed the assignments and slept early. That was the usual drill until Chez turned up one morning for idle chatter but I told him I wasn't ready yet. Nina tried more times than I could count and gave up eventually. The fact that I wasn't the Alana that they knew was tragic according to them. Well, they would have to live with it.

A week later, Chez and Nina were convinced I had gone mute. Forgive me, if I'm not in a mood for jolly chaff. I had no intentions of pulling myself out of the depression with donuts and cartoons of chocolate ice-cream so those shits did something more advanced which is calling Rowan's older brother. It was a Sunday afternoon, both my friends were 'hanging out', which I'm sure was more than that. Not that I needed to spend my Sunday witnessing the two giggle and cuddle. My idea of an ideal Sunday was remaining cooped up in the dorm room with the curtains pulled tight, keeping any form of light from entering and staring into space.

Such fun!

I jumped out of my skin when I heard a knock on the door.

"Alana, you awake?" Dwight's voice drifted from outside the door, "It's me, Dwight."

I wasn't ready for questions, better yet, I wasn't ready to talk. I refused to offer him an answer.

"I know you're in there, Alana." Dwight tried, "You just have to hear me out. I'll do the talking."

Reluctantly, I hopped off the bed, the large beige bear that Rowan had given me hung loose in my arms. I opened the door. Dwight's eyes went wide, not that I expected a very impressive compliment over the very depressive me. "Can I come in?"

For a second I thought it was Rowan standing in the doorway. The pair of mocha colored eyes contemplated whether I would allow him to enter the room or not. I nodded, shutting the door behind him and motioning him to take a seat. He settled on the study table chair while I took over the bed. I didn't remember the last time I had watched Dwight wear any casuals. He wore a blue flannel shirt, the long sleeves rolled up with black sneakers and casual denims. Who would guess he was the C.E.O to the Masters enterprise? The more I stared at him, the more he reminded me of Rowan. I glanced away.

"What are you doing to yourself?" Dwight asked.

I remained silent.

"You not answering my question isn't going to cut it." Dwight continued. His voice wasn't the soft playful anymore, he sounded serious.

"What do you want me to say?" I looked him dead in the eye, "Besides, I never agreed to talk."

Dwight inched closer to me, lifting my face up by the chin. "Talk to me, Alana, just talk to someone. How long are you going to keep up the silent treatment? Your friends are worried."

I hugged the large bear harder. The clock ticking was the only sound in the room.

Tick tock! Tick tock! Tick tock!

It was a Sunday dammit! Dwight had Sundays off so I wasn't going to be off the hook any sooner. I reached for the drawers of the study table and removed Rowan's apartment keys. "I need to take some of my stuff out of his apartment and then you can have these."

Dwight pushed the keys back in my hands, "That's Rowan's apartment and I have no right over it. He left it for you. You can go and study there, in fact you can move into it. It will be a lot easier for you. I'm sure Rowan would want that too."

I gawked at him in shock. Dwight smiled, "I have something else for you." He dug his hands deep into the back pockets of his denims and retrieved another pair of keys. A Toyota symbol glimmered on my palm. I recognized those keys right away. He curled my fingers around it.

"These are Rowan's car keys, why are you giving it to me?"

"What's Rowan's is yours, baby." Dwight grinned, "It's yours to keep."

Tears teetered my cheeks, "What does this mean, Dwight?"

"He wants you to have it."

I threw the keys across the room in a rage, "Who does he think he is? What right does he have to put me through all this? And he thought he could bribe me by giving me his apartment and his car? Rowan left me with nothing but a note. He wants to control my life although he is out of the fucking country. Well, guess what? He doesn't need to resort to bribing me. I'm already stuck thinking about him all day. All I do is think about him, Dwight." I gasped through the heavy breathing, "I'm so hopeless without him. I wanted to be near him. I wanted to look after him."

"He did this for you. For you and Minnie and I support his decision."

"You compelled him to do it, didn't you?"

"Of course not, Alana." Dwight seemed hurt by my sudden accusation, "It was his decision."

"If he had planned on leaving right after the accident, why didn't you tell me anything Dwight?"

"Because he told me not to. What if I had told you, Alana? You would have given up college, packed your stuff and left with him. Am I right?"

Damn right! Only I didn't agree with him. Dwight analyzed my expressions, challenging me to refuse.

"That would have been my decision. Rowan can't keep pushing his decisions over me all the time. I would have done what I think was right." I said with as much confidence as I could muster.

"And 'Right' in your opinion is dropping out of college." Dwight continued, "How long were you guys gonna keep going back and forth? How long were you going to let him keep repeating his mistakes and forgive him? It's time he pulled his shit together. Rowan knew he was dragging you down with him. Are you not hurt? Didn't it affect you when he picked up that gun to end his life? Just because he promised you earlier that he would never repeat his mistakes doesn't mean he wouldn't. This is his fight. His battle alone. You have to understand this, Alana."

As much as I hated admitting it, Dwight had hit the bulls-eye.

"So what does he want me to do? Move on?"

Dwight gave me a lopsided grin, "Can you?"

I shook my head, "No." I swallowed, I wasn't sure I needed an answer to my next question, "When is he going to be back?"

"I don't know." Dwight told me, "probably in six months, a year or two years. It depends on how fast he recovers."

"I wanted to...I wanted to talk to him but I'm not sure how I will react. I don't want to say something that will upset him."

"Rowan doesn't have a cellphone and he is allowed to make one call a week." Dwight mentioned apologetically.

"Is he okay?"

"Of course."

"Thanks for talking to me Dwight. I feel a little better now."

"Hey why don't you come home for the weekend? I'll show you around the farm house that's a few hours away. Mom and Dad wanted me to invite you." When I didn't say anything he added, "Minnie misses you a lot. She wants to see you too."

He knew Minnie was a soft spot.

"I don't know Dwight." I straightened my hair, "Nina and Chez were also asking me to hang out with them this weekend."

"They are welcome to join you, the more the merrier."

"I'll talk to them and let you know."

"I'll wait outside, get dressed."

Bewildered, I asked, "Get dressed for what?"

"Well, if you're cutting class then why sit in a dark room and mope ass? I'll show you some fun." He grinned, his eyes twinkled with excitement.

***

I looked miserable with the dark circle under my eyes and almost the entire Carmel had told me I'd lost weight. I managed to hide all the dark marks, tear stains and everything else that stopped me from being the old me, pulled a casual t-shirt over faded denims and made my way downstairs. I slid inside Dwight's BMW series 5. I hadn't taken notice of the interior, the last time I had gotten a ride in it but this time I couldn't help but make a thorough note. Dwight was good at multitasking, he texted with an inhumane speed while driving; also a decent driver unlike Rowan who's driving could be life threatening if I stepped on his cat which was the case most of the time.

My final verdict, Dwight being a cocky bastard that he was, had a rational thinking. Calculative and responsible which equated a very safe boyfriend as for Rowan, being a self-made man, was polite, suave as well as cold, cynical and dangerous which equated a boyfriend daddy would want to keep his daughter away from and as much as I hated some of his traits, I still loved him. I loved my dangerous bad boy.

"Where are we going?" I asked Dwight.

He didn't avert his eyes off the road to give me a side-long glance, "You'll see."

Dwight tried to make small talk the entire twenty minutes drive. It was just normal talk about what I was planning to study or my hobbies and other trivial things. The letter 'R' was strictly forbidden. Soon, we were surrounded by large trees and lots of greenery; the road seemed slippery and wet. The greyish clouds indicating another heavy rain. He pulled up near a bushy area—cut the engine, opened the car trunk, pulling out a large sized picnic basket and asked me to follow him.

I walked right behind him as he rifled through the thick trees, kicking off twigs. The breeze whipped the trees making that whoosh sounds and as I walked further, I heard a faint sound of water ripples. I jogged harder until I reached a clearing. It was illuminated by the surrounding trees, large grey rocks on the either side of the calm lake. Dwight dropped the basket near a fallen tree trunk and settled on it, patting the side for me to sit. The lake water made the sloshing sound, soothing my soul. Watching the waves ripple and twirl was fun. I knew I had to bring Chez here one day, he would built his own personal hut here and spend the rest of the eternity painting the little things the nature offered.

"I love this, Dwight."

Dwight pushed off the basket lid and removed something that looked like a turkey sandwich out of a poly zip lock bag. He handed it to me, "sandwich?"

I hadn't had breakfast so I eagerly grabbed for it and chomped a large bite.

"I'm no gourmet cook so don't complain about my food being shitty because I know it is."

I wish I had listened to his warning before taking a bite, I swallowed without chewing, "You're kidding right? Because this is yummy." Okay maybe the turkey tasted a little raw.

Dwight laughed, "Bad liar should be your middle name."

"This place is wonderful." I nibbled onto the sandwich ignoring his comment.

"I've been hanging out here for the past ten years." He dug his hand back in the basket and pulled out a Budweiser can, "beer?"

One sip wouldn't hurt right? I took a swig and handed the can back to him. I settled beside him on the trunk, "I'm kinda wondering since you never talk about yourself, not that Rowan is very keen on discussing about his family. Do you have a girlfriend?"

It looked to me like he was dazed. Of course he would be, I had just tried to pry into his personal territory. How very ludicrous of me. I quickly added, "It's alright if you don't want to talk about it."

"It's complicated." He smiled before turning back to the lake, "I've been in love with her for as long as I remember. Katelyn is my secretary."

I gaped at him, "Have you told her about your feelings?"

"Ask me how many times have I haven't." He paused for a second, "I've tried everything, she keeps turning me down by saying she can't be in a relationship with her boss moreover she even told me one day that she doesn't want to be with a man who has screwed half the chicks in the office."

"Have you?"

Dwight downed the remains of the can, "Of course but half the woman in the office would be over-stating it. Those women throw themselves at me. I'm just glad to oblige to their desires, no strings attached and Katelyn has watched me closely."

I started to say something, but he raised a finger, "let me finish, Alana. I let those other women have me because I can't have the only person I want. Those girls mean nothing to me. It's reverse psychology. I watch her feeling dejected every time I walk out with a woman but it's not like I can do anything. I don't know how to convince her, I don't know how to be all emotional about it."

"Then what do you know?"

"I know how to make a woman come."

"Dwight!" I warned him but couldn't stop myself from cracking up. The laughter died down after a few seconds.

"So.... are we friends now, Alana?"

"Yeah. We always were." I didn't remember the last time I laughed so much. "I might be able to give you some advice on how to woo a girl. First, you need to stop hitting off with random women. Persuade her by being nice. Make her feel special; tell her how much you've loved her for the past years. I'm sure she'll give you one chance."

Dwight gave me a genuine smile, one that wasn't flirty or cocky, "Thanks, Alana."

"And you should bring her here. Set up a nice table. It'll be downright romantic and she would be a rock if she wouldn't be impressed by it." I took a gulp from his third beer can.

"You think it's romantic now?" Damn! He was so quick with teasing me.

"It would be if Rowan was here instead of you."

Dwight puckered his lips in a playful pout. I chuckled, "You're thirty and that makes you too old to pull off that pout."

"Well, I think old men are like wine. The older, the better." Dwight cracked.

"Gross."

Our battle of witty word-play continued until the sun set and for the first time in weeks, I found myself enjoying with Dwight. I didn't need to put on the show of make-believe for him nor did he judge me as someone who tuned into Loony tv most often which put me into a more comfortable zone. I couldn't be happier about the weather. I knew we had to go packing if there was a rainfall. We watched the orange sun go down and the darkness enlightening the lake which glistened like there were polished pearls twirling with the waves.

"Should we get going?" Dwight climbed to his feet, brushing the mud off his denims. He offered me his hand.

I nodded as I slipped mine in his. The thought of going back to the dorms depressed me. I told Dwight that I was glad he brought me here and that I wanted to come back again. We had walked a good distance since the clearing when little droplets of rain poured down in full swing. Dwight seized for my hand as we charged towards the car. I dived into the car the second we reached. Dwight pushed the car into drive and pulled away on the road. I insisted upon being dropped off back to the dorms but he was even more potent about having dinner first. Greasy fat burgers were appealing to me so Dwight bought me a fat meal with onion rings and a mega large coke. It was much better than one of his choices that included some very expensive restaurants. When we reached the University campus, I had already polished off half of my meal.

"Thanks for today, Dwight." I said sincerely. "I really had alot of fun. I can't tell you how much I needed this...change."

"Thanks for giving me a chance. You're quite a cheap date so don't sweat it." He cracked pointing towards the greasy meal I was holding.

"It's alright because you said that to me but next time you're gonna take your girl on a real date. Hold your fucking tongue if you don't want to be beaten to pulp with a size thirty-six."

"Got it! I'll keep that in mind." Dwight agreed.

"I'm not sure I want to use Rowan's car."

"Trust me, you do." Dwight fidgeted with the touch screen, the car filled with another song.

"I'll let you know about that proposal you made about going to your house for the weekend."

"Please."

I thanked him once again as I got off his car but when I entered my dorm room, the memories began flooding back in. A change had been good but not good enough to wipe the previous week. I gobbled down the remaining of the food and tucked myself in. This time, I was grateful about not having bad dreams. I didn't even wake up screaming or crying that night which was a major improvement. 

***

A.N: Hey Everyone, hope you all enjoyed reading this chapter. Please vote and comment your thoughts.