Back From the Ledge

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A/N This one deals with suicidal thoughts very much like the episode where Alec was on the ledge as requested by Yasmin_Solangelo.

"Have you seen Alec?" Magnus asked Clary. It had only been a week since Alec was possessed by the demon that forced him to kill Jocelyn and he knew that as normal as he acted Alec was hurting.

"Not for awhile actually." Clary looked around the room that was finally starting to get less crowded. Magnus never thought that he'd ever be glad to see a party end but today he was ready. It didn't help that he had a horrible feeling; something was very wrong. He needed to find Alec now.

"Magnus?" Clary gave him a worried look.

"Sorry biscuit, what were you saying?" He glanced at her before looking around the room again.

"I think I saw him go out on the balcony. Do you want me to go look?" She asked but before Magnus could respond he saw Jace who looked just as terrified as he felt.

"Jace, something's wrong-" Magnus started to say but Jace cut him off.

"Alec's in trouble." Jace said.

"I know. Where is he? What's going on?" Magnus grabbed Jace's shoulders.

"I don't know but whatever it is, he's not happy. I've never felt so much darkness through our bond. He's hurting so much." Jace responded.

"Magnus, Jace," Clary hissed, "he's on the balcony."

They looked over as one and Magnus lost his  breath. Alec was on the armrail of the balcony looking over the city. His back was to them but from his shaking shoulders Magnus could tell he was crying.

He didn't hesitate; Magnus raised his hand and used his magic to pull Alec back to the couch on the balcony. Then he rushed to the door as Alec looked at him, heartbroken.

"I should talk to him. I can't believe he was so stupid." Jace shook his head.

"No, let me. Take Clary home." Magnus opened the door. "I'll call you later."

"He's my brother." Jace argued.

"Yes, you are but right now he doesn't need your tough love; he needs someone who understands what he's going through." Magnus stepped outside, not waiting for Jace's response.

"I want to be alone." Alec said, not looking at him.

"We are alone. I sent everyone home." Magnus walked slowly, afraid that if he moved too quickly Alec would snap.

"You can go too." Alec sniffed.

"I'm not going anywhere." Magnus declared and took a seat next to Alec. All he wanted was to pull Alec into his arms and never let go. But he just sat still and waited for Alec to speak.

"I killed her." Alec blurted out and gasped.

"No you didn't. It was the demon." Magnus said in a shaky voice, if only he could take that pain away he would gladly take it. He was used to sorrow and regret, but Alec was far to innocent for that. He didn't deserve as much as a hangnail let alone dealing with murder.

"It was my hands." Alec held out his hands as Magnus knew that he saw blood on them even though they were clean.

Magnus took Alec's hands in his own. "Alexander, this was in no way your fault. You need to know that."

Alec ripped his hands away. "Stop being so nice! I don't even deserve to be alive. It should have been me!" Alec jumped up and hurried toward the ledge.

Magnus flourished his hand and held Alec still with his magic. He walked over and forced Alec's chin up so he was looking at Magnus.   "Stop it! Do you honestly think that killing yourself will make any of this better?"

Magnus's heart broke a little more when fresh tears fell from Alec's eyes.

"It hurts so badly. I just want it to stop. I can't breathe without feeling like I'm going to shatter. I just want it to be over. Magnus, please let me go." Alec's shoulders slumped and he fell against Magnus as Magnus engulfed him in a tight embrace.

"Shhh, darling, it's going to be okay. You'll get through this, we'll get through this. I've got you." Magnus felt a tear slide down his cheek.

"I can't." Alec's voice was muffled by Magnus's chest.

"You can. I need you too. Alexander, you are far stronger than you know. I know it hurts now but it will get better. Jumping from that ledge wouldn't stop the pain; it would just get worse. Think about all of the people that you would hurt by doing that. You are the reason that I look forward to getting out of bed every morning. Do you hear me, Alexander? You are important and beautiful. The world would be pointless without you." Magnus whispered against Alec's hair.

"Magnus, I'm right here." Alec whispered ad shook his boyfriend's shoulder slightly. Clearly he was having a bad dream.

"Alec?" Magnus rubbed his eyes. "You're okay?"

"Yes, I'm fine. Are you?" Alec brushed Magnus's red hair out of his face.

"Yes, darling." Magnus took Alec's hand and kissed it. "It was just a bad dream."

"Well why don't you just come here and let me tell you a story to help you forget?" Alec patted his bare chest and wrapped his arm  around Magnus.

Magnus cuddled up against Alec and wrapped his arms around him as Alec started to play with Magnus's hair.

"Once upon a time..."

A/N thanks for reading, commenting, and voting. Sorry for the sad chapter, but the next one will be funny or maybe sexy 😘, probably both. Love you all.

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