8. Walking Away

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A/N Okay, I'm posting this mostly because a lot of you are really wanting more and then if I update twice tomorrow we'll be out of the rock bottom it's kind of in...
Also there is a bit of a cue moment
Once again I am sorry that my mind took me to such a dark story but it'll make the makeup so much sweeter

Magnus jabbed his finger into Alec's chest. "You're the one who can't move on. I did everything I could. I did what I thought was best and I've apologized numerous times for it. I've given you your space; I've given you so much space that for a moment I wondered if I had just dreamt you up in some fucked up nightmare. Alec, I may not be perfect, but neither are you!"

Magnus caught his breath and continued. "You seem to forget that you were there that night; you could have done something and yet you're the one who gets to sit on a pillar looking down on me, judging me for doing what you were too weak to do yourself. Now, I get it, that you're struggling with," Magnus waved his hand in front of Alec, "all of this, but never forget that I was the only person there for you when you needed it. I'm leaving now and if you so much as sneeze I'll beat you into a bloody pulp." Magnus had never felt so conflicted. He was so angry that he wanted to burn the fucking world to the ground and yet all he wanted was for Alec to stop him from walking away.

Alec swallowed hard and watched Magnus stomp away. He sank into his chair and dropped his head into his hands. How had they ended up here? His heart begged for him to stop Magnus, to run to him, to grab his hand and pull him back to the kitchen. But, his mind wouldn't allow him to.

"Alec, you need to fix this." Izzy said and Alec jerked in his seat.

"Izzy, why are you home?" Alec asked her putting on his mask of indifference.

"Alexander Gideon Lightwood, don't give me that shit. I've let it go, but now we're going to steal the bottle of vodka from the liquor cabinet and you're going to tell me everything."

"I have to get to practice." Alec stood up.

"Sit. Your. Ass. Down." Izzy said in such a stubborn voice that Alec couldn't fight it. He sank back onto the chair and sat still afraid that if he moved she'd stab him or something.

"Good, now are you going to talk now or should I get the vodka?" Izzy asked him sounded about five hundred times calmer.

"I don't drink." Alec said.

"Since when?" Izzy picked the lock and pulled out the glass bottle.

"I never liked it." Alec said forcing himself to not think about the last time he drank.

"Well you can stop again tomorrow but tonight you're getting drunk." Izzy smiled and poured them both a glass. The smell hit Alec's nostrils and his stomach churned. He plugged his nose and tried to block out the smell.

"Iz," He mumbled but it was too much. He vomited on the floor between them. She jumped up.

"What the hell?" Izzy stepped further away. "You're supposed to throw up after you drink, not before."

"I told you this morning. I don't feel well." Alec wiped his mouth clean with the sleeve of his shirt.

"Yeah, well I thought it was just a way to skip school." Izzy cringed.

"I'm going to my room." Alec grabbed his laptop and stood up.

"I'm not cleaning this up." Izzy declared.

"Then I guess mom can." Alec walked around the puddle and went to the stairs.

"Are you seriously just walking away?" Izzy asked, disgusted.

"Are you seriously asking that as I'm walking away?" Alec rolled his eyes. "Good night, Iz."

"I hate you." Izzy laughed.

"Love you too."

"Do you need anything? A Ginger Ale or something?" Izzy asked.

"No. I'll be fine." Alec hurried up the stairs as his stomach started to churn again as he started to get bombarded with memories of that night.

He slammed his fist into the wall and felt his knuckles bust open and he finally could breathe. He focused on the pain and breathed as he walked into his room.

"Alec, are you okay?" Izzy called up.

"Yeah, just fell." Alec lied as he used his sleeve to wipe the blood away from the chipped wall. At least this past year his clumsiness had kept his way of dealing with his emotions from being figured out. Everyone expected him to fall so when he had a new bruise or cut it made sense. No one knew that he had been less clumsy lately, and more destructive.

He yanked off his shirt and tossed it into his dirty laundry hamper and made sure to not look in the mirror in his bathroom as he got into the shower. He kicked off his pants and boxers then turned on the water. He jumped from the cold but it quickly warmed up and he sank to the floor. He pulled his knees up to his chest and wrapped his arms around them before releasing the tears that he had been holding in for far too long. 

A/N How do you deal with having a bad day?
Also, fyi this is not a healthy way! If you ever need someone to talk I'm here.

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