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"You're not sure?" You thought her words weren't real. For the first time in your life, there was an immense anger building inside of your chest that you could no longer feel your body. Distraught fell on your face. "What do you mean that you're not sure?!"

"I just-," Rina stammered, seeing your form bolting up. She turned her head over her shoulder to show where she had left him but he was no where to be seen. "I swear! He was right behind me swimming by himself."

"Rina!"

When you turned to Tooru beside you, he had a similar reaction. At the same time, you couldn't even read his expression. He even looked like a different person. Suddenly, his eyes drew a blank and he marched forward to grab her shoulders, almost shaking her.

"You lost him?!" He shouted. His eyes became sharp and worry filled in them. "How can you even do that?! He's only five, and he's out there by himself! My son is out there!"

Tooru didn't blink an eye. He didn't have a reason to be standing around and panic, instead he ran straight to the water and started to search. His hands cupped his mouth as he yelled his boy's name over and over again, and then he dove under water to see if there are signs of him.

His brown head threw back up to the surface, inhaling deeply before he took another dive again. Tooru swam up to a different spot of the ocean, standing in the shallow water as he wiped the excess salt water from his face that's slowly stinging his eyes.

"Tetsu!" The moment felt too familiar to him, living through the nightmare of losing his child once again. Instant panic painted his profile while his voice quivered in fright. His pupils shrank in despair as to no sign of Tetsu being present. "No-... this can't happen again. I lost him once..."

You chased after him in the water, seeing that the man is in a brink of tears while scanning around the ocean to find him. He was trembling when you held his arm to attempt to get him back onto shore.

"Tooru, we have to call somebody," you instructed in a hurry.

"What's going on? I hear a lot of commotion," ran Naomi with Ushijima behind her. The beach volleyball was abandoned by the camp after they heard the endless shouts coming from Tooru. Noticing a small boy is missing, she looked curiously at the three of you. "Where's Tetsu?"

"He's gone!" Immediately, Tooru couldn't control his panicked state. His large hands grasped his head in shock. "He's out there all alone!"

By witnessing the troubled demeanor, it almost brought you to tears. You can only imagine how scared he was when he lost Tetsu the first time in the middle of Tokyo - all frantic and agitated, knowing that he will not rest until he finds him.

You've never seen him this way before and it was heartbreaking to hear the sound of his voice crumbling. The love of your life is tainted by doubt and loss that you couldn't stand seeing.

Rina made a careful approach, see that that the matter is a lot serious than she anticipated. "Listen, [Name]. I didn't mean for him to get lost. I can help look for him-"

"Rina," you cut her off sternly. Voice slightly raised and brows knitted together, you swiveled around to face her, creating a barrier between her and Tooru. "I don't want to hear anything from you. You did enough for today. I cannot believe you can do that to my son!"

"Your son?" You were surprised by her utterance. Her deep charcoal eyes almost went hazy by your statement as if your words are benign. "Tetsu's my child too!"

Coming to hear a retort like that, you couldn't fathom how she can react so defensively in this particular situation. With gritted teeth, you balled your fists to keep your emotions in check, careful not to throw ugly words at her at a public place.

"You have no right to say those words," you mumbled. Then your face stirred in anger as an overwhelming of pain pierced through your chest. "You don't deserve to say that about him, Rina! Tetsu's missing, can't you see that? It's all because of you!"

"Mommy!"

A voice chirped through the air. It somehow cut the tension of the group as all eyes trailed where the voice is coming from. Heads were turning aimlessly, looking for any trace where the voice is coming from.

From a far, Tetsu happily ran across the wet sand completely drenched with specs of sand patching his skin. A wide smile stretched on his lips as if he wasn't lost at all. He had his arms extended out, creating a cup in his hands as he energetically skipped across the beach.

You couldn't believe it. You thought you were imagining it.

Relief washed over you and Tooru. You being the first one to run towards him and fall to your knees, your arms embraced around his tiny body and held him to dear life. The familiar warmth and baby scent from his body felt so real. It made you believe that it wasn't a dream. His warm cheeks and brown curls were almost imaginary.

Tetsu's smile immediately came down to frown, now noticing your serious response to his presence.

"Tetsu! Where were you?!" You sobbed, feeling your heart race by the minute. Your hands held his shoulder to peer down at his confused face.

Tooru approached, checking to see if Tetsu looked normal as he should. No scratches or bite marks were left on him. His skin is as fair as his. Nothing tampered with his swim trunks or face. He was clean and spotless just like you last saw him.

"We were looking for you! Where have you been all this time?" Tooru accused. Not an ounce of worry left his voice when he talked to him.

"I found seashells for Mommy. See?" When he opened his hands, the shells were shown as evidence. There were a fair number of them and he seemed proud to collect that many by the glint in his eyes. It could be the reason why he was so drenched, like he just came out of the water.

For some reason, that didn't matter to you. You were so succumb to your worries that Tetsu's thoughtful gift didn't amaze you.

You can feel the tears swelling into your eyes. For a moment, you thought you had lost him. But all this time, he was on an adventure to look for particles just for you.

"You know, you could've been hurt," you started.

Realization came to Tetsu as he lowered his hands once he saw that you didn't pay attention to his gift. "But Mommy-"

"What if something happened to you? What if you got lost and no one can find you?" you replied back furiously. "Then what?!"

All the scenarios played in your head as you said this. The more you listed these possibilities, the more you felt sad and angry at the thought of it. You can't imagine losing him. Then your eyes snapped back at the short bobbed woman who stood stiffly on the sidelines. She flinched once she saw your face glaring at her, witnessing that this is the first time you made such an expression to her.

"I don't know what was going on through your head but I still can't believe you," you scolded. The tenacity in your eyes grew. You were beginning to understand why Tooru is so cautious of her. Whether it was intentional or not, this woman before you is a ditzy one. You can see why and how she can be irresponsible, and you just knew that she is not capable of handling a child. With your stare, Rina can sense the doubt in them.

"But I'm okay!" The child cut in. His hand grabbed yours to bring your eyes down on him again. "I learned how to swim so I can look for seashells. It's not Ri-chan's fault."

"Tetsu, stay out of it," ordered Tooru as he grabbed his other hand to keep him out of the conversation.

Tetsu's brows curled. "But-!"

But the older Oikawa pulled his hand to steer his attention away so you and Rina can have a private banter. He knew that he had to remove Tetsu so he doesn't witness a different form of you that he doesn't recognize. From a far, Tooru knelt in front of him to give him his own explanation to lecture Tetsu.

Once they were out of earshot, you continued, "Rina, I know we all know our place but Tetsu is still my child. He still sees me as his mother. I don't want any boundaries being crossed. What you did was out of line!"

"He's fine, isn't he?" She replied quickly.

Again, you don't know how she can speak so carelessly about the situation she brought you in - that she brought Tooru and Tetsu in. Your lips tightened, urging yourself not to slap the life out of her. Instead, you did your best to be civil.

"That's not the point here. You were supposed to be watching him! You can't let him out of your sight like that."

"Tetsu is fine on his own. He proved it, didn't he?" She explained. "If you can let him be a free child, he'll be more independent."

"This is about him being independent?" You threw the question back. Her response didn't make it clear to you for what she did as you try to find the little reason she had. Not even a clear understanding why she would. "That's not your call to make. You don't know him! I'm still his mother."

"Well, I am too," she said lastly.

No matter how true that is, you don't want to accept that - at least, not yet. As far as you know, she is no where close to that title. She has no clue how to be one and she claims that Tetsu is her child.

You feel a lot of pressure at the moment. You simply don't know how else to argue for her to understand without getting physical. There is nothing simple for her to depict as to what she did wrong. It was as if you were speaking to a brick wall.

Only frustration painted your vision and you were smart enough to know that this is the part where you have to walk away.

"Like I said," you said calmly. At this point now, you have no energy to express your true emotions. Therefore, you just toned down your voice deeply, "you have no right. You know your place and I know mine. Don't you dare step in and decide how I should take care of Tetsu."

When you turned, you strutted to where Tooru is still lecturing his son. From the looks of it, the conversation doesn't look serene by seeing the obvious body language that was coming from them.

They look like they are arguing.

"Tetsu," you called when you neared them. The intensity in your eyes lowered the moment you saw Tetsu's puzzled face.

It grew quiet. Your hand reached out to him, gesturing him to come close to you.

"Come on," you told him. "We're going somewhere else."

"No," he bluntly said which it surprised you. His head swiveled around to avoid looking at you. This is the first time you ever seen that he is being defiant. "I don't want to."

You felt your chest tightening when he refused, and you didn't understand why he would. He seemed mad, especially at you, and there is only one person who could've caused him to mistreat you, tainting him with ill reasons.

"Tetsu. I'm being serious with you right now," you confronted him gently. "Rina left you alone out there. You have to understand that you can't be by yourself like that."

"Listen to your mom," joined in Tooru who is now crossing his arms, but his voice is a lot softer than yours to portray himself the good parent.  "We were worried about you."

"You're not allowed to be on your own, understand? Someone needs to watch you," you said again, hoping that this time he can't take 'no' for an answer.

But the way he was still avoiding your eyes, he wasn't going to listen to you. His cheeks puffed angrily and lips pursed into a stubborn pout. He doesn't fully accept your explanation, he just didn't argue back. There was nothing getting through to him and it saddened you to see this kind of side of him. You weren't sure if he always had moments like this with Tooru even, but this is a first with you.

Naomi can sense the conversation isn't progressing as she carefully stepped in to mutter to both you and Tooru.

"[Name], Oikawa. I can look after Tetsu in the meantime," she offered hesitantly, wondering if she entered a fire and sparked it even more. "Is that okay?"

You knew she was trying to help. The tension between you, Tooru, and Tetsu isn't going to descend immediately. She figured that space is needed to conclude a proper resolvent. You can see it in her brown eyes that she wants to assist your situation.

You didn't have to reply. By the sound of your sigh, Naomi bent her knees to look at Tetsu. "Come on, Tetsu. Do you want to get some ice cream with me and Toshi?"

The brown headed boy didn't make an expression at the mention of the dessert. Normally, he does and it makes you sad that he's not affected by it. He's not happy at all.

Tetsu didn't refuse, and just stepped closer to Naomi to hold her hand with a lingering pout. She turned her head back to you as soon as she was walking away.

"Call me when you're ready," she mouthed, and Tooru replied with a small 'thank you'.

Ushijima followed behind after, not knowing how to ease himself into the conversation but following Naomi's direction seemed to be the right choice.

Your heart finally calmed itself but there was pure emptiness when the beach is almost cleared. The pitiful stares from strangers were no longer there as they all carried on to their eventful beach day.

Tooru's gaze fell on you with worry, seeing that you had your arms crossed with a thinking face comprehending what had happened in the past hour. His large hand found the middle of your back and rubbed it in comfort, and then he pulled you to his side by your waist so he can lead you to another part of the hot beach.

"Come on. Let's go somewhere private."

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Posted: 07-19-2022

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