twenty five.

A cool breeze hit my skin as I slept, giving me relief from the stuffiness of the block. My eyelids were heavy; they felt like weights. My brain was awake, but the rest of my body remained dormant. Someone shuffled up to the cell and harped at me quietly.

"Hey, sweetheart, wake up." My eyelids only opened the tiniest bit, giving me a shitty cloudy glimpse of the aggressor in front of me. "Come outside for a smoke," they demanded as they wiggled a pack of cigarettes at me.

"Get lost," I mumbled tiredly. He then rolled his eyes and exited the room. Another breeze hit my skin, sending small chills over my body. I weakly lifted my head to catch a tiny glimpse of a barred window, the glass knocked out. A few shards still stuck in the frame, jagged and painfully sharp. I dropped my head back down on the pillow, smiling. Daryl had remembered. I fell back asleep, only waking to Hershel shaking me. He shook his head in disappointment when I sat up.

"Hard sleeper." He handed me a cup of medicine. "Almost thought we lost you."

"No, I'm still here." I took the cup from him, tossing the pills into my mouth and swallowing it immediately. I could almost feel it land in my empty stomach. I hadn't eaten in days. A sour taste had settled in my mouth, my body sore with sickness. I waited until Hershel left to sneak outside so I'd be able to wander around. I needed to stretch my legs, feel the sun on me.

I quietly stepped out into the prison yard, finally getting to feel the sun warming my skin. I crossed my arms and rubbed them in content. I closed my eyes to briefly bask in the light. I wished Daryl were here to enjoy the bright sky with me. I missed him. He would've came to see me if he was back already, right? Right?

"You finally woke up, didn't you," a voice called out to me in a smug tone. I turned my head to see the person who nagged at me this morning. He was leaned up against the wall with a few others. "Now's your chance... last one for the day."

"I better not," I said, turning my focus back up to the sun and squinting.

"Come on," he begged. "Just one."

"I'm not interested. Sorry," I apologized.

"We're sick, you're sick; it doesn't matter." The guy held out a cigarette in my direction. "One ain't gonna do anything bad." I zoned in on the cigarette, his groupies beginning to encourage me to take it. I never gave into peer pressure, but he was right, right? Only one smoke, never again, couldn't hurt me. Right? It surely can't be as bad as everyone says it is; I wouldn't find out unless I tried. I walked over to him, extending my sweaty palm. They all grinned from ear to ear. I held it in-between my fingers and nervously glanced around the yard to make sure no one who would snitch on me was lurking in the shadows.

The guy pulled out a lighter from his pocket and I shakily raised the cigarette to my lips. My heart beat fast and softly against my ribcage, my breathing a little erratic from my nerves. I just had to do what they did in the movies: breathe in and breathe out. That was all. The orange flame of the lighter ignited the end of my cigarette. I inhaled once he pulled away, the smoke gathering in my throat. An unfamiliar burning sensation began and scared me. I quickly coughed it all out. They laughed at me. I awkwardly stared at the ground, my face red from my failure.

"Try it again," the guy instructed me. "The first drag is always the worst, trust me." I suspiciously raised the cigarette back to my lips, inhaling. I tried to breathe in as best as I could but ended up taking too much. The intense burning sensation in my throat made me gag, the smoke billowing out of my mouth like a chimney. The guys began to laugh again, even harder than before. "You need to come out with us more often." He crept closer to me, smirking. "Gotta get in your practice, girl." He placed his hand on mine, raising the cigarette back up to my mouth for me. My eyes widened in anxiousness. His groupies snickered. I inhaled, his hand staying put. I began to choke on the smoke again, the panic of suffocating setting it. "You can't exhale until I say so," he said with disappointment, watching as smoke poured out of the corners of my mouth while I coughed.

"Aften," a voice hollered furiously, startling me. His hand fell from the cigarette. I quickly tore it out of my mouth and sputtered, coughing hard into my arm. Daryl angrily trudged over to me. He seized my wrist, plucking the cigarette out of my hand. "The hell you think ye're doin'?" He threw it to the ground and stomped it out.

"Who are you," the guy asked, snarky. The groupies stood behind him with smug looks on their faces. Daryl turned to him, anger plastered on his face.

"Who the hell're you," he snapped back, his hands balled up into fists.

"I'm just a guy trying to show a pretty girl a good time," he admitted, snickering at Daryl. Daryl stomped over to him, getting in his face.

"Yeah," Daryl hissed. "Well that pretty girl is mine." My breath hitched in my throat, my stomach flipping. His? The guy shifted his eyes over to me.

"Him?" He almost burst into laughter. "Shoulda just told me you were into hicks. I woulda left you alone." Daryl tackled him to the ground, punching him. The groupies fled the scene, frightened. He yelled out in agony as Daryl continued to pummel him.

"Stop," I shouted, tugging on his leather angel wing vest in hopes to tear him away. "Enough, Daryl, stop!" He shook me off with such force, I fell to the ground. Daryl bunched up the guy's shirt in his fists and picked him up off the ground, slamming him up against the brick wall.

"Don't you ever go near her again," Daryl growled in his face, releasing him soon after. I stood up, the guy bolting away from us. Daryl breathed in and out heavily. "The hell's wrong with ya? You shouldn't be puttin' that shit in your body. You're sick for fuck's sake." He furiously glared at me.

"I—it was only a few puffs," I stammered. "I'm fine, I'm okay. I'm not a baby, Daryl. You don't get to choose what I do, you don't have control over me. You can't stop me."

"Ya don't think I can stop you? Think again, Strawberry."

"What if I decide I don't wanna live here anymore and run away in the middle of the night? Then what?" My chest heaved up and down as I continued to try and defend myself.

"I barely sleep. Try again," he challenged, approaching me. I began to think of everything leading up to this very moment, pain plaguing me at every single morsel of my thoughts.

"W-what if I ended it?" Hot tears began to well up in my eyes. "What if I did what I was planning to—"

"Don't you ever run yer mouth 'bout that shit," Daryl quickly spat. "Selfish bitch," he snarled. "How the fuck do you think I'd feel? You're over here startin' to make me fuckin' care and shit. Jesus, girl, have some damn respect for yerself."

"Selfish, huh? You think that's selfish? You don't know for one second what the fuck I've had to live through," I muttered, turning around to run back to my cellblock. Daryl roughly grabbed my wrist, pulling me back towards him. I whipped around to face him. "What the fuck do want," I bellowed. "Let me go!"

"I ain't gonna until you understand."

"Understand? How about you understand me," I turned to leave again but Daryl's fingers dug into my skin, burning. "Stop, you're hurting me," I said, trying to pull my arm from his grip.

"I get it but you gotta understand," he said, yanking me closer to him. "I don't want you talkin' 'bout that shit ever again."

"Okay I won't, just please let go of me," I whimpered. He released me. I rubbed my burning wrist, cradling it close. I turned around and walked back to where I was originally headed. I entered the block, standing still for a moment to contemplate what the fuck just happened. I stepped into my cell, falling down onto the bed. I stayed up while everyone soon fell asleep. I stared at the floor, daydreaming about a better place anywhere but here. There was a knock on the window, a glowing light appearing out of the corner of my eye.

"Aften," Daryl called. "I know you're in there." I ignored him, turning my head forward again to get back to daydreaming. "Aften, just talk to me." I wasn't gonna answer him even if I wanted to, even if all I ever wanted to do was talk to him. The light soon faded away from the window, disappearing down the hall.