nineteen.

I sat in the cell wide awake while everyone else was sleeping the night away. I hadn't yet closed my eyes to rest and no one had come in to check on me which was rather odd; someone different must've been on duty tonight. My eyes had become slightly puffy; all the tears had made them that way. They began to slip closed just as brief heavy footsteps came to a halt outside.

"Why're you sleepin' sittin' up?" It was Daryl. It seemed like he was using this as a silly excuse to start a conversation. "Why don't you lay down?"

"I'm not sleeping," I grumbled, opening my eyes back up.

"Yer eyes were just closed."

"Why do you care? Don't you have something else better to be doing," I challenged, on edge from my severe lack of sleep. Daryl glared at me angrily, not saying a word. He stayed put this time though, not storming away like he usually did. It caught me off-guard the slightest bit, but I just brushed it off. "I can't sleep," I admitted to break the silence. "I— I see him if I try to. It-it's like I'm there, but I'm not; I can't move, no one can hear me, and it all just happens. I couldn't do anything to help him." I hated to bring up the subject but since Daryl seemed to be so nosy, I felt obliged to reveal the truth. I would, honestly, have him know rather than no one and be left to drown in my own terror.

"You want me to stay in here," Daryl asked me sheepishly as he blushed. He stepped into the cell to prevent his voice from continuing to echo like it did outside. My eyes flickered up to his, noticing how his blues seemed to illuminate when the moonlight hit them. "I can wake ya up if you start to cry or somethin'." My lips stretched into a smile as I let out an unexpected short laugh.

"You'd do that," I smirked rudely. This had to be a joke, right? He would never.

"Y-yeah," he muttered anxiously. My smirk fell from my face, my brain being sent into a boggling frenzy; the usual, expected answer from him was not being given. A small swarm of butterflies began to arise in my stomach, the feeling startling me. I was confused: half of me wanted him to stay while the other half wanted him to leave me the hell alone. I bit my lip in contemplation, soon nodding in agreement. Daryl awkwardly sat down next to me on my bed. I froze, my breath hitching in my throat at how close he was. I wanted to punch myself for feeling this way; was I sick? We stayed silent.

I studied Daryl's body language out of the corner of my eye. I could clearly see how tense he was and how his leg was bouncing up and down anxiously. My arm began to ache and my face scrunched up in response. I tried to roll my shoulder back but couldn't fully. I cussed under my breath.

"How's that," he asked, nodding to my arm.

"It's fine. Still kinda hurts," I whispered, watching him again. He wasn't looking at me, but I wanted him to. "Thank you again for, uh, bringing me back." I managed to bring his attention back, him locking eyes with me. I felt like I got kicked in the stomach and lost my breath at the connection. "Y—you could've just left me out there."

"I knew how much you meant to Merle," Daryl said, twiddling his thumbs. "Was only right to help... and..." He suddenly paused. I could tell this subject hurt him to talk about. "I—I couldn't handle losin' someone else." I knew he was upset by the way his shoulders almost guarded his face, his head down. I felt bad for bringing it up, regretful. Unconsciously, I leaned over and wrapped my arms around him. I held him close to me in hopes to comfort him. I could hear his breath hitch in his throat. He didn't know what to do. He was tense, still as can be. I could practically feel his heart racing in his chest along with the throbbing pain in my arm. I didn't care about the stinging, I wanted him close to me.

It was a few long moments before I felt him relax, bringing his arms up and resting his hands on my upper back. My stomach fluttered. I pulled away, locking eyes with Daryl again. The both of us breathed fast and light, the contact a rush for us. We blinked, silence filling the cell. We've never held a conversation for this long, let alone even really touched each other; the truth was coming out to the people we least expected it'd be exposed to. Daryl stared at me nervously. My eyes quickly flickered to his lips, lingering on them before flickering back up to his eyes. I cautiously leaned in towards him, Daryl staying exactly where he was.

Our faces were only inches apart, our breathing heavy with anxiety. I lightly placed my lips against his, Daryl tense once again. I pulled away, staring at him with wide eyes. I was terrified for how he'd react. I wanted to kick myself for even carrying out the action, my brain badgering me to do it in the first place. How could I act so ridiculous around Daryl? He was never gonna let me live this down or worse, never even speak to me again. He stared at me in astonishment, his eyes flickering over my face. Both of our cheeks were red with embarrassment. His fingers weakly walked across the mattress to rest on top of mine. I could feel the sweat on his fingertips. My hand began to tingle at his touch.

Daryl was unsure of what to do in this situation. He went with his instinct and started to lean forward, but pulled back in uncertainty. My heart began to race as he tried to lean forward again, hesitating with the movement. Daryl finally pressed his lips against mine timidly. I felt as if I started to melt. My heart thudded against my chest so hard it was like electricity was running through my veins instead of blood. He carefully pulled away, being mindful of being gentle. We gazed into each other's eyes, our faces an even deeper red than before. I was speechless. I didn't intend for this to happen or ever happen for that fact. I didn't even think Daryl would do anything back. I was thrown off by the whole entire exchange; this didn't even feel real.

"It's pretty late," Daryl suddenly muttered, him too finding himself at a loss for words. "I'll wake you up if somethin' happens." I nodded, closing my eyes. His breath had continued to be shaky, as did mine. Neither of us truly saw this coming.