fourty one.

I sat in the corner, staring into the darkness of the train car. It was another cold night like the one before, my teeth chattering and my body shaking. My eyelids kept fluttering closed but I tried my best to keep myself awake. I didn't wanna fall asleep. I didn't feel safe even with Daryl holding me in his arms. I nuzzled into him to get warmer, my eyes fluttering closed again as he rubbed my arm with his thumb. The door thundered open, a gust of cold wind blasting us. Everyone instantly became alert. A flashlight shined inside the car like a spotlight, blinding us. I shielded my eyes.

"Where is she," a man asked, searching the car. Daryl tucked me away in his arms, attempting to hide me from him but the flashlight sought me out. "There she is." Two men jumped up into the car, stomping over to me and ripping me out of Daryl's grasp.

"No, no," I cried out frantically, reaching for him. Rick clamored to his feet and rushed over to the scene. "Daryl!" Daryl tried to snatch me back but he was punched in the face, Rick taking over and fighting with the guy. After their brief tussle, Rick met Daryl's fate: a hard blow to the face dazing him. "No," I hollered, thrashing around in their arms as they carried me out of the train car. "Please! Please don't!" I was held up, the man with the flashlight examining me. He grabbed my face in his hand, squeezing my cheeks. I breathed rapidly as I tried to draw away from his touch.

"You're just the talk of the town tonight," he smiled, quickly glancing back into the train car. He made eye contact with Daryl. "Sucks to be you," he laughed as the door began to slide closed.

"Daryl! Daryl," I screamed, my eyes welling with tears and my voice raw, scratchy. Once the door clamored shut I was yanked back, my feet slipping out from underneath me. I was dragged all the way inside, the toes of my boots scraping across the floor. With every move I made, their grips would tighten. A door swung open, the sudden bright lights burning my eyes. I felt the hands release me and I hit the ground. I cautiously lifted my head to see strangers grouped around me. Dread washed over me once I stared Gareth straight in the eyes; he sat in a chair in front of me, a man with a gun standing next to him.

"Aften, right," he grinned maliciously. I stared blankly at him, my chest heaving up and down in fear while I tried to catch my breath. "Let me explain this to you quick: you do what we say or we kill you. Simple." He paused. "Now some of these people gave up a meal to see you in the flesh so you don't wanna disappoint them. Tell me, Aften, do you fight? Have you ever fought anyone in your life?" Gareth laughed once he noticed how pale I had gotten. I felt sick. I'd only ever punched Carl. "That's what we thought. See, we were gonna choose some of the other girls but they pose the threat of fighting back. Aften, you're nothing without Daryl so we had to get you away from him." His words punched me directly in the stomach, leaving me unable to say anything. Did I really give off that vibe? Was I weak? Was I really unable to handle myself just by the looks of me? Gareth suddenly clapped his hands together. 

"Let's get the party started, shall we? Start tenderizing the meat?" The strangers around me began to clap and cheer, causing me to feel even more sick; the loud sounds stabbed my brain. A man stepped forward, separating himself from the crowd. He held a belt in his hands. I stared at it, the sight of it sending shockwaves of terror through my veins.

"Get up," he growled at me.

"Please, don't," I begged, struggling to make eye contact with him. The belt soared through the air, cracking against my skin. I let out a pained holler.

"I said get up," he bellowed. I obeyed him, a tear rolling down my face. He brought the belt back down on me with more force than before, the leather stinging my skin. I let out another scream of pain as he continued to lash me, the hard metal of the buckle digging into my skin with every hit. I fell to my knees as tears leaked out of my eyes. Everything stung. Everything in my whole body felt like it had its own heartbeat. The man grabbed my hair and pulled my head back to stare at him. He laughed at my pain. "Weak bitch," he spat before sending his fist flying at my face. It connected with my jaw, my whole body tilting to the side. He let go of my hair, my head flopping down. He yanked me up off the ground, the collar of my shirt bunched up in his hands. I was forced back into the wall, my head slamming up against the concrete.

His hands snaked around my neck, constricting my airway. I placed my hands on his in attempts to pry them away. I could see the man next to Gareth lift his gun but Gareth discouraged him. I sputtered as I struggled to breathe, my vision beginning to blur. I couldn't go out like this, no fucking way. I placed my foot on his chest and kicked him away from me. His hands left me as he stumbled back. The taste of blood resonated in my mouth and I tried not to gag, focusing on the ground so I wouldn't throw up.

"Baby's getting tough now is she," he mocked, towering over me. "So cute. Let's see what you got." He positioned himself like he was ready for a fight. I stared him down, picturing him as my dad. Immediate rage filled my veins. I swung my fist, punching him in the face. The strangers surrounding me cheered. All the man did was laugh at me. I punched him again, this time coming from under his chin. I heard his teeth clack together. He stared at me angrily, like he wasn't expecting me to do that. I kicked him as hard as I could in both shins. He collapsed. I didn't wanna stop now; I was getting my revenge, proving my worth. I kicked him underneath his chin, his teeth clacking together again. He spit at me, giving me a bloody smile. My body was now shaking with anger. I didn't give him another chance to rest, punching him in the throat. His eyes widened as his hands flew to it, gasping for air and coughing. I glanced over at Gareth who looked surprised at what I had done.

"Let me go back," I demanded. He just stared at me blankly, a smirk growing across his face. I didn't notice the man had recovered and was crawling towards me. He wrapped his hands around my waist and forcefully brought me down to the ground. He had a hold on the waistband of my pants, tugging at it. My eyes widened in fear once again and I began to scratch at his arms as hard as I could, sometimes even drawing blood. "No," I muttered to myself frantically. "No!" I put my hands on his face and pushed him away as hard as I could, digging my nails into his skin. He hollered out in agony. I flailed my legs beneath his force to try and kick him off. He took one of his hands off my pants and punched me across the face, my head ricocheting on the concrete. My vision went blurry briefly before returning to normal.

He spat at me again. I was lying on my back half-conscious with blood leaking out of the corner of my mouth. I could barely keep my eyes open. He was on me, his weight heavy and suppressing me of air. I needed to fight but I barely could. I reached my arm up and put my hand on his face, pushing it away like I did before. He swiftly slammed my arm back to the ground.

The cold concrete on my legs finally registered to my brain. I closed my eyes to let a tear trickle down my face near my temple. His fist closed on the necklace around my neck, snapping it off me and throwing it across the room. I could barely think, everything in so much pain I was basically immobile; I was no better than a rag doll. The muffled noises of the strangers were blocked out by the slow, thundering heartbeat that flooded my ears. I rolled my head to the side, locking eyes with Gareth. What did I do to deserve this? Everything was so numb that I didn't even notice the man was already standing over me, letting everyone get a good look at me battered and bloodied on the cold concrete.

I could feel the fabric of my pants covering my frigid legs back up, sliding up and over my hips. I was pulled up off the ground, my whole body almost deflating from the aggressiveness of the pull. I was dragged into a dark room, my toes scraping against the floor again. I could faintly hear the sound of water rushing down from a shower head, lights flickering around me.

"You look a fucking mess," one of the guys who had a hold on me laughed. "You need to wash off." I was tossed into a shower stall, my body landing hard against the concrete. I laid there motionless, blood trickling down from my head and mixing with the water that swirled around the drain. I felt like I was about to drown, the small droplets suffocating to me. Suddenly I was being dragged away again, right out into the outside to meet the sticky heat. The weight of my body thudded against the floor of the train car, a pair of arms engulfing my body as the darkness instantly kissed me. Fingers brushed away the wet hair that stuck to my forehead.

"Aften," Daryl said fearfully, his voice sounding far away. "Aften." He cradled my head in his hands. I stared up at him tiredly, my eyes blank. "Shit, she's bleedin'," he cussed once he noticed the red soaking his fingertips. "Get the rag outta my pocket," he demanded, the rag quickly being pressed against my wound. "Aften, can you hear me?" My whole brain felt like it was swirling back and forth like we were out at sea. Daryl's face began to darken, my eyes lessening into slits. "Aften, stay awake." I slipped into unconsciousness, becoming limp in his arms. He became frantic again. "Aften." Daryl shook me. "Aften, wake up!" He held my body close to him, sniffling. "Wake up!" His voice cracked with sadness.

"We've gotta start doing something to help her, now," Glenn commanded, stealing someone's jacket and bunching it up. Everyone shuffled around the car, following his lead and putting things together that would help aid me back to health. Daryl held my limp body close to him, continuing to press the rag against my head.

"Help me," he said with hurt in his voice, grabbing Maggie's attention. He shook his shoulder toward her so she could grab his vest off of him. Maggie slid it off his torso and draped it over my body like a blanket while my chest rose and fell, my mind wandering the abyss.