fifty six.

I clutched the dead woman's ankles, my hands slippery with blood. I dragged her across the wooden floor, her body leaving a thick trail of red behind it. She was pretty heavy but I tried my hardest to get her out of the house. I dragged her all the way to the graveyard where all the other bodies of the intruders and fallen Alexandrians were. I let go of her, standing up to catch my breath. I wiped my hand across my forehead before wiping them on my pants to get rid of the blood that still lingered on my palms. I could hear mumbling as I made my way back onto the streets. All the Alexandrians, including our group, were gathered in a clump listening to Rick. Hope filled my heart. Was Daryl among them? I scanned the gathering for him, stepping closer to see better. My eyes ran over Rick but went back to him a second time. He was staring at me with concern. He was probably off-put by the blood on my face. A few Alexandrians turned to look at me. I scanned the crowd once again to hopefully find Daryl. I had no success. A lump began to form in my throat, tears brimming my eyes. Where the hell was he? Carol slowly stepped towards me. She was covered in blood, just like me. My eyes desperately traveled back to Rick for answers but he was focused on the ground. I shook my head and turned away from everyone.

"Aften," Rick called out. I ignored him, running back to the house. I stood on the porch, facing the door in disbelief. Daryl should be walking back inside with me. Fuck, why was I even upset anyway? He could handle himself. He's been out in the shit for way longer than I have so he should be perfectly fine. He could handle himself any day against anyone. I couldn't help myself, though. I loved him so much that every time he left he took a piece of me with him.

"Aften," Rick whispered from behind me. I turned around to see him standing on the stairs. He must've chased after me. "Abraham and Sasha are with Daryl now. Everything's alright, they just haven't made it back yet. They have vehicles too so you don't have to worry about them being on foot. They'll be back soon, I know it," he promised me. I bit my lip, trying to keep the tears that were welling up in my eyes from rushing over. Before I couldn't even realize it, I was already hugging Rick. Rick wrapped his arms around me, holding me close. I stayed there in his arms for a while for comfort, a stray tear running down my cheek. "Daryl fights for you, to get back to you, always," he said in my ear. "He'll be okay." I pulled away, sniffling. Rick squeezed my hand before slowly stepping back down the stairs.

Once he left, I shrunk down in the corner of the porch where Daryl and I usually sat. I pulled my knees up to my chest, putting my head in my hands. God, I wanted him next to me and for him to tell me he was okay, our town was safe and I was too. I wanted him in my arms. I leaned my head back against the railing, taking a deep breath. I loved Daryl. I loved him with all my heart and soul so much that they ached and I didn't care how many times I had to make it known because it was the absolute truth. I gazed off at the walls where a few ladies were painting the names of our fallen. The list grew by the minute, a pit in my stomach as I realized just how bad the attack on us was. My eyes flicked to the bannister in front of me. Merle sat on it, surprising me with his presence.

"What, are you here to make fun of me," I asked him, tucking my hair behind my ear. "Call me a pussy for cryin' too much over your brother?"

"Maybe," he smiled.

"Fuckin' knew it," I whispered, shaking my head. "I swear you only show up when it's convenient for you. So you can always say some shit and add an 'I told you so' just for an extra kick in the ass."

"When it's convenient for you, not me. You know you're happy to see me," Merle argued. "You're too damn stubborn to accept what anyone else says so now that I'm here you're finally gonna accept the fact that Daryl is fuckin' fine." I couldn't say anything in response. He had me pinned, he was telling me the truth. I always felt better when Merle showed up, because he actually knew what was going on and, yeah, I was stubborn about it. I used him as a crutch. "So get up, wipe your tears and stop worryin' about 'im!" I obeyed him, wiping my tears from my eyes as the went back to focus upon the wall of names which was being painted in heavy black letters. My heart sank at five letters that were being imprinted onto the panels.

G. L. E. N. N.

There was no way. Glenn couldn't be dead. How would they know, anyway? I haven't heard any conformation of his passing and news here travels fast. He just hadn't been back in a while and he was like Daryl, he'd been out in the shit longer than I have so I know he could handle himself especially if he had Maggie to fight for. They'd been together longer than Daryl and I had. I couldn't take my eyes off the letters. There was seriously no way. One of us couldn't die right now.

The cold rush of autumn air blew my hair back as I sat on the steps of the porch. I could feel a presence next to me that came out from the house for some fresh air.

"Mind if I sit here," a voice asked. I craned my neck to see who was asking me the question. It was Glenn.

"Go ahead," I sighed, scooting aside. He sat down next to me, his hands in his jacket pockets.

"We haven't really talked much since the prison, have we," he said in disbelief.

"We really haven't," I confirmed. "A lot of shit happened..."

"Yeah, truly a lot of shit," he smiled. I laughed. "We should start over then," he suggested, sticking his hand out to me. "I'm Glenn and you are?"

"Aften," I started to laugh again, shaking his hand. "Nice to meet you, Glenn."

"A pleasure to meet your acquaintance, Aften," he replied in a fancy voice, a laugh pushing through his brief fake persona. Our laughter slowly fizzled off into silence. I stared off at the houses lining the streets, the people out and about. Glenn began to speak again.

"You know, it was brave of you to kill your dad," he told me with honesty. "I'm not sure a lot of people there at the time thought that, but I always thought so."

"Thanks," I softly smiled at him. "But, I had to do it," I admitted. "There was no other way, he was gonna hurt everyone. I couldn't let him do that. You people saved my life."

"I'm glad we did," he grinned in return. I looked at him with so much love and appreciation. Never have I felt more at home than I have with this group of people, ever. I almost felt like I could cry. "You know," Glenn began again. "I was abandoned at the prison. I woke up on one of the catwalks, dangling over a swarm of walkers. Everyone was gone except for Tara. We tried to find the whole group but all we could get was Maggie, Sasha, and Bob so we turned into a group of five. We all went to Terminus to see if we could find you there, but you weren't until you guys actually showed up a few days later." Glenn paused before speaking again. "Where did you end up going?"

"Daryl and I found a cabin. We stayed there for a bit until it got overrun. Carol eventually found us, but we got separated again. Then we decided to follow the train tracks to Terminus and that's where Rick, Michonne, and Carl found us. The three of them were going to Terminus too so we fused together and now," I sighed. "Here all of us are."

"When they came into the train car for you that night, what did they do to you," Glenn whispered. I tensed at the topic change. He could sense my change in demeanor. "You don't have to answer if you don't want to."

"Let's just say they did everything." My voice was lowered to what seemed like a grumble as I told him what I told Carol back in the church. After a brief moment of silence, Glenn placed his hand on my knee endearingly.

"I'm sorry," he apologized, torn up that they'd do such things to me.

"It's alright," I smiled, biting my lip. "They're dead now. They can't hurt me anymore, can't hurt us anymore. That's all that matters."